If My Plate Could Talk: “Choosing The RIGHT FUEL”

I'm here. Welcome to if your plate could talk. I'm Doctor Charryse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner and author. And on Fridays, we get into all things life trauma, how you nourish yourself and looking at the process of if our plates could talk, both tangibly and metaphorically, what would they be telling us about how we're doing in life and how we're handling the things that may grieve us and weigh heavy on us. For those of you who are usually with me on Wednesdays, oh, I missed you greatly.

But my body was like, no, we are not doing this. We can't move. It was a bit of a rough morning. And that happens sometimes. That happens for very good reasons. It's been a very good week. But at the same time, just as we talked about last week with tracking your body and where your body holds stress, I was flatlined and could not get up and be in front of you. Well, you'd be very concerned if I would have been in front of you Wednesday. But I'm here and I feel good and I'm pumped. Come in, do what you do.

Say good morning. Let us know where you are in the world. Hello, Cindy. Hello, Shelly. Hello, Lisa. Hello, Joycelyn. And rate your week one to ten. One meaning you are tired of this week and ready for it to be over. And ten meaning it's been a great week. I am going to give myself a ten. So even though there were some hard physical moments that were really annoying, I'm going to give myself a ten for how I managed those moments, because that's what it's all about. Totally subjective. Hello, South Carolina.

What's up, California? Sacramento, California sounds good right now, especially if you're not as hot as it is here on the east coast. I know it depends on where you are in the whole dynamic. Hello, Charleston. Of course, grab your preferred breathtaking of the morning. I'm choosing water. What's up, north? Michigan? Yes, you are escaping. Hello, Pa. I am choosing water because it is so hot right now that I need to do what I need to do. Okay, let me warn you all now, and it won't be a warning. For those of you who know me, my head this morning is, is in analogies and I'm excited about this analogy that I want to give you.

So I always try to think of like a title for the live so that when you're going back through and you want to listen and remember, oh, which one that is. And the one that I chose today called are you choosing the right fuel. Are you choosing the right fuel? So I want to start with an anchoring question, and I want you to, you know, share your answers so that we're engaged. And I can see where your head is, what's fueling you right now. And you can look at that two ways. What's fueling you right now could be what's pouring into you or and what is fueling you and driving you and keeping you motivated.

I'm going to look at it from both, but primarily, I want you to think about what's fueling you, what's driving your choices right now, what's driving and fueling, the way you're talking to yourself, what's driving and fueling, how you're spending your time and the people that you're spending your time with. Because there are times in our life I want you to think of yourself. We'll think of ourselves today as like a vehicle, like a car that we aren't going where we want to go because we're not choosing the right fuel.

And I'm going to take little sips because I know what's coming. What's fueling you right now. And I want you to be very honest with yourself. Are you choosing the right fuel? Are you letting the right things fuel you? Are you in a moment right now that you're being fueled by anger? Are you in a moment where you're being fueled by fear? Are you in a moment where you're being fueled by anxiety and overwhelm and that's guiding all of your choices? Are you in a moment where you're being fueled by food and your focus has been all on what you can eat that makes you feel good while trying to distance yourself and avoid all the things in your life that seem like they're out of your control?

Again, if you're comfortable, let me know at least one thing that you can honestly say, good, neutral or growth, that is fueling you. And so here's what happens when we don't choose the right fuel. Did a little research on cars and their different fuels, and one of the things that I found interesting was the difference between a car that takes, like, petrol fuel and one that takes diesel fuel and why, like, at a gas station, you know, they're so clear, of course, about making sure that these do two very different things.

Things. And this brings me to a thought. We have moments in our life where we are operating as a car, typically short term vehicle, only going on long trips when we need to go somewhere. We have other times in our life, where we are truck drivers, where maybe if you're caregiving or you have a child with special needs, or depending upon a new situation in your life, you're going to need some long term effort because we know trucks carry a heavy load and go a long way. So the analogy there is to also even consider that at different seasons of your life, depending upon what you go through, you need different types of fuel.

So what's fueling you in this season right now? Are you taking in or connected to the kind of fuel that you need to carry you through life for you right now? Because only you, you know what life is like for you right now, but the right fuel is also going to allow you to honor the space you were designed to occupy. The right fuel is going to keep you moving. Here are four things that happens when we are being fueled by the wrong thing, when we're choosing the wrong kind of fuel. Great. And if I confuse you in this analogy, tell me, because my mind is special, four ways that our body, our system, our engine is impacted, our vehicle when we're choosing the wrong fuel.

Number one, your engine will not be able to process it. It misfires. So if we think about that in terms of food, when you're fueling your body with foods that are not the right fuel, your body won't process it well and you'll miss fire, which means you will have a difficult time getting started. Are you fueling yourself with the right food for this season of your life? And based on your individual needs, your food intolerances, your blood work, your genetic predispositions, your autoimmune challenges, your stress level.

Number two, if you are not choosing the right fuel, your vehicle will not run as it should. In other words, you can be going through life fueled by things that aren't the best for you, and you're doing okay, but not as well as you could be because you're not committed to choosing the right fuel. So, question for reflection, what are you fueling yourself with that you know is hurting you? And that could be you're fueling yourself with extensive time on social media, binge watching on shows that are taking up your time, and as a result of it, you're not able to work through and do the things that you normally would.

I love those of you that are like, hey, I'm being fueled by empowerment and strength and gifts because it can be good things. And yes, mental fuel, too. Fuel is all inclusive. Number three, four things that happen to our vehicle, our system, when we're choosing the wrong fuel. Number three, it leads to problems with other parts of the car, our body. So when we're fueling ourselves in ways that is not healthy ways and healthy meaning healing for your body, then other parts of you aren't doing well.

If we're fueling ourselves, for example, even using social media again and looking at things that cause a lot of comparison and tear us down, well, as a result of that, other parts of us will suffer emotionally. We will start thinking bad about ourselves. We might even start to suffer socially because we feel bad about who we're not based on what we see on social media. And as a result, we back away from the people who really love us because we are feeling a level of shame and we don't want to be around them.

Oh, your body image is struggling because you're looking at other people that are in a place that you aren't. So you don't want to go to that pool party that you were just invited to, because people love you, because you don't feel good about your body, because you're being fueled by comparison, instead of just being fueled by your humanity, by your kindness and your caring and your strength and your gifts. And number four, it negatively impacts the value of your car, of you as a person. When we are not fueling ourselves well, isn't it interesting how it changes the way we value ourselves?

I've seen it even in my own life. There are certain foods, due to a number of things that don't fuel me well. And if I dabble in those things, it impacts me mentally. It makes me more tearful or more irritable. It makes me more grieved. It makes me sad, easier when I'm not being fueled by balance and by peace. Peace and by movement and by fresh, clean water. Those things seem small, but they're significant. If I'm not getting enough time of rest, then I fall apart, and I'm not able to hold the value that is a part of the space that I'm designed to occupy because I'm not fueling myself well enough to maintain it.

So consider this. If you're even thinking, man, sometimes I am not showing up in life the way that I want to. Are you fueling yourself well? Mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally? And if you're neglecting to fuel yourself well in any of those areas, they're integrated, they connect, they intersect. It's going to impact you. But you can choose another fuel and another process, and I think this is going to be one of those lives that I might be like, whoo, you're all over the place for a minute, but you're going to go back, some of you, and listen, and it's going to hit, and you're going to find different things.

But the key is what's fueling you. And one of your primary goals of well being is to know. Here are the habits that fuel me in a way that I can show up and live a life that I don't need to escape, that I can honor the space that I'm designed to occupy without feeling like it's taking me out. Because I don't want you to design to honor the space you're designed to occupy and walk in your purpose while dragging. I don't want you to feel like, oh, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, but it's killing me.

No, you were meant for two things, a lot of things, but two things that I'm thinking of in this mind. Wholeness. Our body is always moving, reaching, and working towards wholeness. It's why we have a temperature that balances. It's why we have cells that regenerate. It's why we have mind and synapses and neurotransmitters that regenerate. It's why we have a gut that speaks to our brain. It's why we have a nervous system that shoots in cortisol when it needs to settle us. Our body is always trying to move us towards a place of wholeness, but we still have to help it.

And two, the second thing that you were absolutely designed for is peace. Because when we are in a place, even if things aren't great in life, we can still have peace when we're choosing the right fuel. So I really want you to give that thought in your life. Let's say that you're in a situation and you're like, you are reading me a little bit. I didn't even think about it. I have been fueling myself with the wrong thing. Some of you woke up this morning fueled by last night's presidential debate.

I'm gonna go there. I'll take a sip first. Don't get scared. Everybody has very different feelings about what they experienced. If it was something that you watched, and if it's something that you pay attention to. Attention to. But even in the midst of that uncertainty and even in the midst of what was experienced and how it made you feel, and if there's concerns and fears, we still have to fuel ourselves in ways that brings us back to a place of peace so that we can do what we can in life to make our sphere of life better.

We can even be fueled by things that are outward and external that do impact us, but we're letting them fuel us in a way that it turns us into surviving versus thriving. So we also know how have to know how to moderate what fuel we bring in. And you'll know when something is not fueling you in the right way. When you start responding in a way that is opposite of harmony and peace, when it disturbs you, that means less fuel, right? So let's say that you're in a place and you're like, I'm seeing myself in some things.

I didn't realize until you started talking about it that I actually am fueling myself in some ways. That may not be ideal. What do you do? Here are five things also in analytical analogy, form. Number one, stop filling the tank. In other words, stop taking in things that, you know, disturb you. Stop talking to people that you know, irk your soul. Now, don't get me wrong. There are some people in your life, like family. You don't have a choice. You can have some boundaries, but there are other people in your life.

Sometimes we keep friends around that are really disturbing to us. Stop allowing them to fill your tank. Number two, five ways to reset. If you feel like you've been fueled in the wrong direction. Number two, disconnect your battery unplugged for a little while. That doesn't always mean that you can completely escape and unplug from everything. But what that does mean is that you might decide that at a certain time every day. You unplug from being on your phone. You unplug from looking at the news.

You unplug from stimulation at different points in the day so that your body can refuel. That's the coolest thing. I have to go there for a minute. One of the things that I love about restorative yoga, in restorative yoga, you get into a pose, assisted intentionally with props, and you hold it, and you lay in that position with support for three to five minutes or more. And some people are like, oh, that doesn't do enough. But there's a certain level of restoration and refueling and energetic grounding that only happens in those restorative poses because you're still and you let everything release.

It's the same thing as Savasana, that last five minute pose that you do right in stillness. It's the same reason in mindset matters, the 515 system that I tell you to do five minutes a day of sitting in silence. So disconnect your battery and know when that's what you need to do in order to refuel properly. Number three, push the car away from the pump. And I want you to think about this in terms of food. Push the plate back if your plate has been full of things that you know are not the right fuel.

And you're like, I just. I'm not motivated. I just, oh, my gosh, I've been eating out all week long. And eating out is not terrible, but it's all about the choices that you make and how your body responds. Your body will let you know if you're eating out too much or nothing. And if you feel like a basket case by the end of the week, make some choices. Push the car away from the pump. It is your responsibility to move away from the things that could also drain your fuel. And notice that it says, push the car away.

It requires effort. A lot of times, we are in situations where we feel overwhelmed and we're not being fueled well, and we don't feel like we have a sense of peace, but then we're just standing there and going, I'm just gonna wait until everything calms down. That is insanity. There is no waiting until things calm down. There is backing away, pushing, going another direction, and leaving the things that are not calm over in another place so that you can go find a place that is calmer. Let me take a sip and calm down.

Number four, call a tow truck. Phone a friend. Reach for some outside support, preferably someone else who has peace. Sometimes you won't call a tow truck, and the tow truck is going to be just like you. And then somebody shows up and you're like, why are you here? And you're like, will you call me? So make sure you're going to call and reach out to accountability. If you're really stuck and you know that you're not fueling yourself well with someone who can actually help pull you in a different direction, but don't fight them when they do.

And number five, have your car's tank professionally drained and flushed. Sometimes you're going to be in a situation in life where you realize, I have been fueled by a lot of the wrong things in childhood as I grew up in a difficult relationship and I can't reset on my own. So that's your moment to reach out and get professional help to help drain and flush your system of all the things that you've been carrying that are not helpful for you. The biggest takeaway that I want you to have from all of this is that you decide what fuels you, but you also have to pay attention to the things that are not the right fuel and the signs and the symptoms.

Even going back to what we talked about last week, if stress is showing up in your body, those are indicators that you're nothing. Choosing the right fuel consistently and a lot of times your motivation and your desire to move forward, or the things that you feel like you're grieving, the things that are overwhelming you are connected to wrong sources of fuel. Unplug your battery. Disconnect. Look at what's fueling you mentally and physically and spiritually and emotionally, and choose to push away from the pump and take charge of the direction of your life, because no one can make life better for you than you.

And I don't want you to miss out on all the amazing and great and wonderful experiences that are before you because you are too exhausted to enjoy them. Final thought one of the primary ways that we know a vehicle is not using the right fuel is that a cloud of gray, black, thick smoke comes out of the exhaust. So if you are in a moment right now and you find that you are fueling yourself, well, bravo. Note what you're doing to continue that process and keep moving towards what you value. But on the other hand, if you're in a state that you're like, you're exhausted, you're in that cloud of fog and overwhelmed, you've got some work to do.

But I don't want you to sit on the side of the road and just wait for someone to save you. I want you to push your vehicle away from what is overwhelming you until you get to a space where you can reset and flush and fuel, which may mean a little bit of time alone, a little bit of time to grieve and to reset and to cry and to be angry and to work through it so that then you can come out and have a fresh start. That being said, I hope you all had a fabulous, fantastic rest of your week. If you're listening to this live and in the moment, as a reminder, I will not be doing lives next week.

Heading to London tomorrow and then coming back to the States for an event and all of the times conflict. But I will see you the following week and we will of course, pick up where we left off, continue to listen throughout the day and come back and get into all the amazing providers and creators that are here. There are also a number of replays that are available for videos if you would like them in any way, shape or form. I will see you all soon. Bye.