Mindfulness at Work

Hey Cadre. Let's see. Last week I had a bit of a technical issue, so I'm hoping that doesn't reoccur this week. Last week I also had a crazy cold and my voice was very deep. And now you get the regular voice again. So I'm glad to have my voice back. It's a helpful thing as a meditation teacher. So this week I want to talk a little bit about some of the realizations that our mindfulness practice can lead to and the ways that they help us with stress. Hi Steph. I'm a Stefan, so I'm pretty sure that's Steph.

So one of the things that a mindfulness practice helps us cultivate is an awareness of the constant change that we experience in our lives. And that can be the way that our body feels one day when we sit to practice versus the next day can be two totally different things. It could also be how busy our mind is. So one day we can sit for practice, decide we're going to meditate, and our mind is calm like a nice still pond. And other days we sit to practice and our mind is full of chop and thoughts and stories running around rampantly, and it's more of a ocean on a stormy day.

And this nature of our minds and our experience to constantly change is something that intellectually, a lot of us know but we can forget, and our practice is a really helpful reminder of that. So one of the ways that shows up at work in particular is you could be working on a project. I mean, I was in the technology space for 25 years before I semi retired and just decided to teach full time. And I always had clients pop up that were not the most fun experiences. Right? Sometimes clients are awesome and other times clients are challenging.

And it was really easy to get stressed out about the challenging ones and really happy about the easy ones. But the rule and the law of impermanence and change tells us that the happy ones projects are going to end and the difficult ones are going to end as well. That could be that you're forced to work with a co worker who's challenging, and that can create a lot of stress. It can create challenge and obstacles for us to have to overcome. But bearing in mind that this too will end, this too will change can be really helpful, provide some relief.

I had another kind of example of this pop up in the past couple of weeks. I have two young boys, so I have a five year old, Charlie and a seven year old, Jo, and Charlie's in preschool, about to start kindergarten, and Joe is in. Just finished the first grade, and I had spent quite a bit of time towards the end of the school year, I'd say, frustrated with Joe. He had picked up some behaviors that weren't okay, at least in our house. And he had learned some things from some of his classmates that were creating challenges.

And it was hard sometimes because he is generally a great kid, but he would pick up these challenging behaviors, and I could feel myself, hey, Jules. Nice to see you. Good morning. I could feel myself resisting and kind of pushing back against these new challenging behaviors that Joe was bringing home with him. And it was causing stress for him. It was definitely causing stress for me because I was thinking, oh, gosh, did we lose the plot here? Did is this story taking a turn that we weren't expecting?

Because Joe was traditionally such an awesome kid, and there was a lot of resistance. There was a lot of kind of pushing back and trying to encourage behaviors that were. Well, I guess it was just we were trying to get his behavior under control, let me put it that way. And we had talked to the school, and we had tried everything we could think of, and then school ended, and within a day or two, Joe was back. All of these kind of behaviors that he had picked up from classmates and that were causing so much friction in our house all just kind of disappeared on their own.

And he was back to being kind of the normal, happy, curious, rambunctious kid that he was before and kind and playing with his brother nicely and interacting with adults with respect and all the things that we hoped for from him. And it made me realize again and refreshed that idea of impermanence, that this, too, will change. And there was so much time wasted in resisting and pushing with Joe to try and correct these behaviors that really were just kind of normal kid child development stuff. When reminded of impervance and the fact that this, too, will change, it provided great relief.

I can say I did learn this lesson a long time ago. There was a time when both of the kids really loved blueberries. Like, would eat cartons and cartons of blueberries, and I would buy cartons and cartons of blueberries. And then one day, they just changed their mind. They don't like blueberries anymore. And I have all these blueberries in the fridge, and it was like, what is going on? Why is this? What is up with this abrupt change in our diet? But at the time, I knew, like, everything changes. They're probably going to like blueberries again in a couple weeks.

Right now they don't. They may again soon. So through practice, it's one thing to hear me say or hear someone say that everything changes, but our practice helps us feel it internally. It helps us kind of get that sense in our bones, which is really helpful. So two weeks ago, when we practiced, we did a really simple attention practice where we moved our attention through our bodies and directed it to our feet and then to our torso and to our head and to our hands. And we were just experimenting with this idea of taking our attention and being intentional about where we place our attention.

So that's a really fundamental skill from a mindfulness perspective, is being able to direct attention, and in some ways, pretty profound, because the way that we direct our attention can shape our experience of the world and of work and of kids and of all the things that are happening in our lives. So as we work with cultivating attention, one of the next skills that is really foundational for our mindfulness practice is the ability to anchor our attention. Now, I live here on the coast. There's a marina not far from where I live.

And you see boats there all the time, anchored in the, out in the bay. And the idea of anchoring and anchoring with a boat in particular is that you drop the anchor. It doesn't walk the boat in place. The boat can still move, and, you know, it rises and falls with the tide, and it maybe shifts directions with the wind. So an anchor holds it in roughly the same spot, but it doesn't constrict it. So when we think about anchoring for a mindfulness practice, what we're really doing is focusing our attention in one specific place.

That doesn't mean that our mind is not going to wander. In fact, that's a really normal part of the practice and expected, 100% expected. So when we're anchoring, what we're doing is we're finding some place to direct our attention and. And hold it there. Now, a very common anchor in a mindfulness practice and meditation practice is the breath. So a lot of times you will hear instruction to say, bring all of your attention to the breath, whether that be the rising and falling of your chest or the feeling of the air going in and out of your nose.

Maybe it's the air in your belly. That breath is a really powerful anchor. It can be really helpful. It's always there. It is always accessible. But for some people, the breath is not a great anchor, and it can be challenging, particularly when we say to anchor with the breath, if that means that automatically you start controlling your breath. So instead of just allowing the breath to come in and go out. We are using our body intentionally to move the breath, almost like a breath work practice or a pranayama practice, which is very different than just observing the breath, right.

And so if our minds immediately go to controlling the breath, then maybe the breath isn't the best anchor for us. And what we're looking for in anchors is really someplace where we feel a sense of stability and steadiness, a sense that we can rest our attention somewhere. Not that it is going to be solid and it's not going to drift and kind of flow around with the tide instead of the breeze and the thoughts that come, but that there is a felt sense of stability as we rest our attention somewhere.

So there's a couple anchors that we can use in addition to the breath. Many, many. Actually, one of them is the feeling of our feet on the floor, just that sense of connection to the ground or the earth beneath us. And that can be in the feet. It could also be in your seat, right? You're sitting on a chair, you're sitting on a cushion. Maybe if you're standing, this doesn't work as well. Your feet might work better, but it could also be your seat as you're in this, as you're seated. Another really effective anchor for a lot of people is the hands.

So the sense of the hands resting in your lap, on the desk, on the chair, on your thighs, and all of the sensations that you can feel in your hands, the sensations of contact, the sensations of moisture, of dryness, of warmth or cool air. So focusing your attention on the sensations you feel in your hands can be a really effective anchor. Now, this one often doesn't work as well when you're meditating with an app or with some sort of guidance, but you can also use sound and the sounds in your environment.

So maybe there's a hum of air conditioning in the background. We're all living through a heat wave, or many of us are now. So maybe your air conditioning is running and you can hear the hum of that machine running in the background. Or maybe you live somewhere where you can hear cars driving by in the distance, or you live somewhere where you hear birds chirping and squirrels playing in the backyard. And it's not necessarily about trying to figure out what those sounds are. It's just allowing the sounds to come and being aware of them as they arrive.

So what does this look like in practice when we think about anchoring? And for a very short kind of demonstration or exercise, I would recommend finding a seat if you can and this is, by the way, an invitation. You could. I know the lives here are recorded, so you could always come back and practice this at another time. But it's finding your comfortable meditation seat where you're alert but relaxed. You don't want to fall asleep. That's napping, not meditating, where you are comfortable. Often in a chair, that means sitting upright.

Not leaning back against the of your chair, but sitting upright so your shoulders are stacked over your hips, feet flat on the floor, trying not to cross at the ankles. And then your hands can either rest in your lap or on your thighs, whatever's comfortable. And as always, you can practice with your eyes open, just finding kind of a soft gaze, not really focusing on anything in front of you, just allowing your gaze to soften a bit. Or for some people, it's helpful to close the eyes and that's okay too.

So you're finding your posture, finding your comfortable seat, and then just bringing your attention to the whole body. Sitting here, that means noticing everything that you can as your body sits, just starting to switch from that mode of doing things to just being here. Noticing any sensations that you may feel in the body. Noticing any thoughts that may be running through your mind, any stories, any memories that are replaying themselves like a movie. And any emotions that might be here now, whether that's joy or anger, maybe a bit of sadness, maybe happiness.

Just tuning in to what's here and noticing any impulses, urges you may be feeling. Sometimes when we sit for practice, this could be, I don't want to do this right now. Sometimes it could be, let's get on with it. What is this guy doing? Just noticing whatever's here. And then when you're ready, I'd invite you to just shift all of your focus first to your feet and explore this. Notice your feet sitting here on the floor. The sensations of contact maybe bringing your awareness to each of your toes one by one.

Or even the space between your toes. Noticing the bottoms of the feet and the tops of the feet, and feeling into any sense of steadiness or stability you may find here. How does it feel to rest your attention with your feet sitting? Maybe that's not the anchor for you today. And that's okay. Sometimes anchors change from day to day. So when you're ready, I'd invite you to move your attention up to your seat. Just noticing yourself sitting here. Sensations of contact with the chair or the cushion again, checking in with any thoughts or emotions, any impulses and urges, any sensations you're feeling and looking for that sense of stability and steadiness.

And from here, moving your attention to your hands, your hands sitting in your lap or resting on your thighs. Noticing the sensations here. If your hands are palms up, perhaps you notice the feelings of fingers curling a bit, moisture, dryness in the palms of your hands, sensations of contact with each other, with your legs in your lap. I'll ask a scorpio. And from here, when you're ready, I'd invite you just to shift your attention to your breath. Maybe that's the breath in the belly. As you inhale and your belly expands a bit and exhale and it draws back in.

Maybe it's your chest, the slow rise and fall with the ebb and the flow of your breath. If this anchor isn't working, feel free to move back to your hands or your seat or your feet. And also notice the breath at the nostrils. So the air coming in and going back out. Just tuning in to the sensations of the breath right now and reminding yourself that thoughts are natural. So when thoughts come up, it doesn't mean you're a bad meditator. Noticing that thoughts have come up and you've been distracted from your breath for a moment is actually a real insight.

It's a moment of mindfulness. And over time, as you practice, you're going to notice it much more often. People think they'll notice less, but you'll notice more, more clarity as your attention is cultivated. And from here you can stay with your feet, or your seat or your hands, the sensations of breath, or maybe the sounds in your environment, maybe my voice, the voice coming through your device, or maybe the sounds in the room where you're practicing again, searching for stability and steadiness.

We're going to close practice here in a moment by just taking a few seconds to reflect on what you're experienced as you moved your attention to your feet, to your seat, to your hands and your breath, to the sounds in the room and those that place where you felt the most steadiness, the most stability. And in your anchoring practice in the future, you can come back to one of these anchors and just rest your attention there. Set yourself a timer for a few moments, maybe five minutes, maybe two, and just focus on your feet, or your seat, or your hands or your breath.

It doesn't take longer. Anchoring your attention and then cultivating this awareness that lets you catch yourself when a thought comes and a story comes and you're carried away, catching yourself, noticing it with appreciation and curiosity that thoughts have occurred. And then bringing your attention back to your anchor. That's all there really is in the practice, finding an anchor, directing your attention there and holding it and coming back over and over and over again. If that's happening for you, then you're doing the practice.

Right. So thanks for practicing. If you were able to practice with me. If not, I hope you can practice to the recording later. And thanks for considering impermanence and change. And you'll notice as you practice this once or twice or a couple times this week, that each time you sit to practice, it's going to be different, because change is constant. And if we can slow down and stop resisting the change, things get a lot easier. So, thanks, cadres. Here. I hope you have a wonderful Monday, and I'll see you here next week.

Bye.