Existing Expectations To Following Your Path

Foreign Happy Friday was running into a few technical difficulties. Apologies for the delay. The two minute delay here. We'll get started a little bit. Try to wait for some people to pop in. But it is a beautiful Friday. And there we go. Hi, Amara or Amar. There we go, Jen. Hi, Jen. Happy Friday. I know that I'm looking forward to the weekend. It's been a long, long week for me. I was in Iceland last just yesterday. And so it's, it's a beautiful place. Excuse me. Beautiful, beautiful country. But we'll, we'll start with just kind of taking a breath.

I've been on a new kick lately of just whenever I shift to do something new, I'm trying to just like breathe and feel and kind of like come back to earth. Come, come back, ground a little bit. And so just start to notice air coming into your nose and fill up, expand and slowly just let something go. Taking a deep breath always feels good. I love the reminder of what a breath is. Right? You're. We're in and out, everything is flux up and down. And it brings me back to the moment, right? And we're in this moment.

Like we are free. Like right now, we. This moment, I am free. And I'm grateful for that. It's not always the case, but right now I can bask in just being. And it's, it's a, it's a lovely, lovely place to articulate our next step, our next task, whatever it might be, just coming from this, like, grounded, free space and a little less in our, in our headspace. So today I want to talk about expectations and, you know, the ones that we set for ourselves, but also, and more so the ones that we've inherited, the ones that our families give us or society.

And it's tricky because when we're young, we don't know we're just growing through life. We are dependent on our caregivers and it's out of our control what gets put upon us. And you know, within that there's expectations being built of, you have to go to school every day, you need to eat your veggies at dinner, you need to not, you need to go to bed at this time, whatever it is. There's all sorts of expectations. And as you know, I've grown up, I have started to notice these. And I really started to notice it when it was time for me to figure out, like, oh, you're going to college, what are you gonna do with your life, right?

Like, now you're becoming an adult, you're 18, what's this next step. And, you know, I grew up in a family where, you know, they believed in hard work, they believed in safety, low risk, and just like, building security for yourself and your family, it was a huge thing, is, what can you do to build security for your family? And so in my family, that meant medicine. Like, I needed to get into medicine. I needed to go into the medical field. My grandma was a nurse. My mom is a physician's assistant.

And it was just pushed down, like, oh, that's an easy career. It's. Well, not an easy career. It certainly is not. But, like, that's an easy path for me to take. It's. It's already in my system. It's. It's. You can make good money from it. You can raise a family on it. And that was what I was told. And so I didn't. It was hard because I. That's when I really started to, like, be like, I don't. Like, I don't know about this. Like, I don't. I understand. I had to go to school, although I guess I didn't really love going to school either.

Just because I wanted to play, I wanted to be out. I wanted. I didn't want to sit all day. But I just, you know, that was. I was younger. I didn't really understand. But when it was like, okay, now it's, like, time for me to figure out where I'm going, I said, no, like, I don't want to be in the medical field. Like, I didn't fit that mold. That's not my path. And so it's not that I didn't care about health or healthcare or medicine. It's that I really cared about it. And I just saw that it wasn't being done the best way.

And I don't believe that Western medicine is truly trying to get to the root cause of things. If you go to medical school, they. They teach you to treat symptoms, and it's a wonderful profession. I love doctors. I am not knocking Western medicine at all. If I get into a car accident, that's the first place I'm going. Some traumatic thing. Yes, that's where I'm going. However, I just wanted to prevent it. I wanted to be in the proactive side of medicine and not just treating symptoms. And so when I realized that, like, my grandma was like, well, what are you gonna do?

Like, I wanted to do personal training. I wanted to help people, like, be healthier rather than work with sick people, per se. And so I did that. It was great, but it was hard like, it was different. I couldn't relate to my family about it. And I felt, like, a little bit guilty for, like, letting my family down. And I felt guilty because, like, I wasn't making the money that they were, that they made. And so then it was like the I told you so's and not necessarily said, but certainly felt. And so it just felt, like, disappointing.

But then after I got used to it and got better at it and started making better money and all those things, like, I was like, okay, this is. This is good. I'm. I figured it out. I didn't figure it out. We never figure it out. I feel like we're always learning and evolving with that. But my whole point with sharing the story is that, like, your family wants this for you, and they think that that's how it has to be. Your job wants you to do this, and they think that that's how it has to be. And I think we as humans have the right to question things, be curious about other paths or alternatives and bring them up.

We don't have to fight it, per se, but we can just bring it up and have a conversation, have an adult conversation about it. And so it's important to listen to those little, like, soul whispers. That's what I call them. I'm like, so. It just doesn't feel right. It's like a gut thing where you're just like, ah, no. Right. And so doing. Doing what I wanted to do and helping. Helping others with their health and wellness goals, like, that meant a lot to me. It. It still does. That's why I'm on here is because I'm so passionate about it.

And did I end up doing personal training forever? No. But it led me to this other path. It led me to yoga. I never thought I would be a yoga teacher or do yoga. It led me to Cadre. It led me to different, like, events that I've hosted or talks that I've given. And so I just think it's super interesting that our expectations are never gonna be reality. We're always gonna think, oh, I should do this. I can do this. It's gonna work out this way. Like, it usually doesn't. It usually hopefully works out better than we think it's going to.

Sometimes it works out worse, but usually everything works out. And when I was in Iceland last week, I heard about this Icelandic cultural word, theta redast. Theta redast. It means that. And it's usually said when things are, like, looking gloomy, things are looking glum, not in a favorable outcome. And somebody is usually the one to say that during that particular challenging time. And so I love it because it really means everything is going to work out. It's going to be fine. You're going to be okay.

And it's this idea of building an optimistic mindset, of hope, of renewal, and to just, like, feel resilient in going through these tough times. Right? And so I'm curious, like, if any of you are going through something really tough, that you're just like, it's hard to look. Hard to look at the good times or at the silver lining when there isn't one right now. And that's what that saying means, is like, there. It will work out. There will be a silver lining. We just maybe can't, like, see it yet, you know?

And just that, like, mental switch, that is freedom, right? The expectation of the story I was told and given when I had that switch of just like, I don't want to do that. I want to do something different. I'm not sure what it is yet, but it's going to work out. It's. Something will come about, and I'm going to figure out my path. I had no idea what the heck I was going to do. I was one of those kids that knew what they wanted to do when they grow up at all. And so, you know, that has helped me.

I know I've come into other. Hi, Rachel. I've come into other situations in my life where I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going, but I'm just gonna follow this nudge. I'm just gonna believe in it, and I'm gonna have hope and be optimistic about it. And it has paid off because I found that worrying is such wasted energy or, like, complaining or naysaying or just being in a bad mood, even though sometimes it's totally warranted. I deserve to eat ice cream and be sad for a little bit, right?

Like, Beyonce gives herself, like, a day. She's like, you have a day to be sad about it. And so there's room for that, for sure. But, like, fretting over the details of the house and all that is just. I don't want to do it. And so if ice. Icelandic Icelanders. Icelanders can live in the winter with two hours of sunlight a day and still be, like, the third happiest country in the world year after year. I mean, they're being optimistic. They're letting go of expectations. They're just. Their North Star is focused on optimism and Hope and building resilience in the meantime.

And so, you know, I reach out to the people that feel like they don't belong. Right. I was always kind of the black sheep of my family, went against what they wanted me to do. And the people that like, are even maybe stuck in like someone else's blueprint or the life that they were told that they were supposed to live and now they're living it and they're like, what? I mean, it happens. But you can always redirect or, you know, be resilient through it while you're making the most of it or getting to where you want to be.

You know, it's, it's courageous to choose your own path. It's hard to veer against what you've been told or what you've been given or even guilt tripped into. You know, it's like, well, I paid for your school or what? Like random things like, my mom didn't pay for my school. But I've heard that in my family and from friends. Like a girlfriend of mine, her mother was very, very hard on her. And so, you know, she did, she went that path and it's worked out. And so everything does work out eventually.

It just, it feels kind of icky and messy in the meantime. And so it's like finding your path requires you to release expectations. Yours, your family's, society. Like, sometimes you just have to dream, like, what would my best life be if money didn't matter, if I didn't live here, whatever. Just to kind of get into that like, higher space, that higher headspace so that we're not just like down in the dumps and being confined. That's what's very tricky about freedom is the confinement in our day to day life from our friends, our family.

Like, I literally sometimes don't tell people things until it's done because I just don't want to hear their doubt, I don't want to hear their opinion about it because they're, you know, giving me their fear or what, what have you. And so, you know, if you're standing at a crossroads right now or you're just tired of having expectations put on you from like being in like a family role or a friendship role, right? Like we all kind of go into our roles when we reconnect with people that are very important to us.

And so, you know, I offer you to try something different, to listen to that inner whisper and maybe even break a cycle. It could be uncomfortable, but that is where you grow. Not in your comfort zone, your discomfort Zone. And so, you know, disappointing expectations might be part of that. Or saying, no, I know that. That comes up all the time as a recovering people pleaser. Right? And when things feel uncertain, that's usually because you're on the right path. When things are certain, you're cons, you're confined into a box, and usually that is restricting and you're not, like, gonna flourish.

Right. Humans, we're supposed to expand and be open and not just like Chuck along on, oh, yeah, I did this. I got married, I went to college, and I had kids. Right? That's like the classic thing, you know, mantra I was told growing up, and it was okay that I didn't get all those things done, you know, and so want to just share that it will all work out. Theta redast. It will all work out. Especially when you choose yourself and you choose your path that's true to you. And remind yourself that when it's hard, when you're veering off doing your own thing, there's gonna be haters, there's gonna be naysayers, there's gonna be, you know, this, that, and the other thing.

But when you choose yourself, you're free. Just like we did at the very beginning of this video. We just. We breathe, we come back to our bodies, and we come back to that free state of releasing expectations and following our path. So I hope everybody has a wonderful rest of your day and that maybe you reflect on your path. Where are you at right now? Where are you going? What is your trajectory right now? And if it's good, great. If there's work to be done, say so. What are the steps? What insights do you need to research or anything like that?

There's always time. We have time, and you'll be fine. You'll be okay. So thank you so much for, for listening today. I'd love to hear anything that you're working through or if you've started going down a new path. And broke, broke free. Break broke free from the mold. You know, I'd love to hear that too. We're all in this together. And, you know, the Cadre family is pretty tight knit, so if you need help, please let us all know. But I wish you the best weekend ever. And I will see you next week, next Friday at about the same time.

But with that, take some deep breaths, be free, be present, let go, and good luck following your path.