If My Plate Could Talk: “Setting Priorities that Support your Mental Well-Being”

Hello, Kaja Sphere. I hope the week has been manageable for you. If you're listening to this live and in person, it is Sunday evening and as we always do, write your week. I want you to think about where your week started, how the week progressed, and where you're landing right now. I would say that in this very moment I am happy to announce that my week feels like a 10. It was not a 10 midweek, but it progressed. I was able to do some things and it's ending in a really beautiful place. And of course, let me know where you are in the world.

My home base is Charlotte, North Carolina. I was just in Nexhead beach at an incredible conference for women. Hello, Jewels and I enjoy it. Hello Jade and mommy. And if this is your first time here, I'm glad you came. I'm Dr. Charisse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner and author. Hello. Audrey and I come into the space a few times a week to help you consider, think about, work through emotions, well being and all things life. But particularly on Sunday, this is our time, right, to prepare ourselves for, for the week ahead.

I want to start a little different, you know, different than our typical like, rate your week and where are you? I'd like to know, how are you feeling about the flow of your weeks? So if you take the last few weeks in your life and you think about the things that you need to do, hello, Statesboro, the things you want to accomplish, maybe even that three category system that we talked about last week, how are you feeling about the flow of your life over the past few weeks? Because the whole dynamic of looking at what's on our plate metaphorically and tangibly is also going, is there harmony there?

I like to use harmony over balance because in truth, things are not always going to be balanced, but they can work in harmony, they can blend together well. And a big part of that is how we go into the week, setting an intention for that week, knowing, oh, we just came off of a busy week. For example, I just came off of a super busy week filled with ipa, intense people activity, which I loved. But that also means that this week what I need to prioritize is restoration. So that might mean a little less one on one or in person activity all throughout my week, a little bit more rest, so really balancing out.

But how's your week flowing? What are you noticing? What are you proud of even, or what do you feel like? Here's an area that's not going too well, so a little full, but I think I'M managing it. Micro breaks. That is phenomenal. We definitely want to see some of that. As you're putting that information in around how do you notice the flow of your weeks? Constant and placing high priorities in order. That's wonderful. I want you to take a moment. I want to start with this, and then it's going to help us draw your circle or write your list.

However you're doing it and what's on your plate. You can think about it for the week or you can think about it in terms of overall, what are the things that you're carrying, who's on your plate in terms of people that you're caring for or you're worried about, what concerns, what emotions are you noticing, what goals? So take a moment. You can always put in the chat a few of the things that are on your plate. I will mentally do this same task, man. And of course, now that I start that my mind goes blank, which happens, I would say, when it comes to what's on my plate.

Getting my rhythm back is on my plate. In essence, I've been traveling a lot over the last month, and so I'm very ready to put, you know, returning to rhythm on my plate. So it's not something that's there yet, but it's something that I'm looking forward to. I have a specific rhythm that I keep when I am traveling, but it's just not the same of when I'm home. So I'm really looking forward to get that back. And sleep is something that I have tried to manage but needs to be on my plate as well. After you do that, as we typically do, I want you to then consider what have you noticed about your appetite?

What are you noticing about how you're nourishing yourself and what's on what you're plating? I will say for myself, my appetite has been as chaotic as my life has been over the past few weeks. But I've been aware and I've paid attention to that, and I don't feel overwhelmed by it, but I'm noticing it's very, very different. Those two things are helpful. Yeah. Making adjustments and know that making an adjustment to your diet or indulgences is not wrong. It's a way of kind of resetting and getting back to rhythm.

So when I say getting back to rhythm, I am talking about movement, but I'm also talking about really getting to the wheelhouse of the things that I eat that I know that make me feel well, that are going to be different than the things that I eat when I'm traveling because someone else is providing meals. So that's an essential dynamic for the focus of today. I want to do two things. I want to talk about the dynamic of pruning, pruning people out of your life. And you might think, well, how in the world does that match up with organization?

We not only organize our time around our task and our responsibilities and our goals, but all of us have people in our lives that are also important to us, are also a part of our lives, whether those are people that we talk to all the time or people that we talk to every now and then. One element when it comes to the dynamic of pruning that I feel like doesn't get enough attention. It is the loss of people that you thought would be more consistent in life. And you get to a point that you realize you may need to deprioritize your time with them, or you need to shift the nature of the relationship, or you need to put a boundary in place because something about this person has changed.

Something about this person may not seem as healthy as it once was, or you're in a different place. And so it can feel like, oh, I feel different when I'm in connection with them. It's much more challenging. It doesn't have the same reciprocity. And so I want you to also consider all of the people or groups of people that currently exist in your life within kind of a given month or two, and really ask yourself, are there any people that I need to reprioritize? So these are people that, as you prune and kind of move people to another place, that you need to kind of get back connected to certain people in your life, you've lost touch with them, you haven't been as intentional for whatever reason.

And who are the people that you realize? You know what, as much as I like them as friends, as much as I want to be there for them, they are potentially taking up too much of your time and too much of your space. So as you go into the week and you look at everything that's on your plate, I want you to also consider two things. One, a brain dump. That just means that tonight, that would be my encouragement. You sit down and you pretty much kind of write down all the things that are on your mind in terms of what needs to get done, who you want to spend time with over the next few weeks, goals, priorities, getting it all out of your mind so that you're not walking around with a cluttered mind, and then feeling like, you know it's too much.

Oh, I love that. That is so key. S Littleish, you're in a different place, so some people can't have more time. Oh, I cannot like heart that enough. If I could give hearts back to you. There we go. I would. Part of pruning is also knowing when you're in a different season, so people may want more of you and you don't have it to give. You don't have it to give maybe in terms of your actual physical time, but you also may not have it to give mentally and emotionally. And it's important not to beat yourself up for that.

Not to think that you're letting people down because you can't be there for them. We all have people in our lives that we will push past ourselves in order to connect with them or help them. But absolutely, you will be in situations and moments where the time that people want from you isn't possible. If you are in a place like that, communication is your friend. But also pay attention to the people that don't respect your time boundaries. So if you are trying really hard to kind of regroup and reset and reprioritize certain things and you're letting them know, hey, I don't have as much time.

I'll follow back up with you in a few weeks or a few months. And they seem contentious or they have a hard time with that. That is a red flag. Anyone in your life who pushes against your boundaries with time and attempts to make you feel like what you're giving isn't enough is an individual that we would say is a red flag person in your life. And when it comes to your whole dynamic of how you're organizing your energy, because your energy is a primary resource. So when we talk about the dynamic of pruning people, it's not just about who needs to be placed where.

It's also about you have a finite amount of energy every day, and that amount of energy is going to be conducive to all the other things that are in your life, all the other responsibilities, all the other stressors, how you feel physically, what's on your plate that can't come off, that has to stay there. And as a result of that, you will only have so much energy in order to give other people. So I'm curious, when you're in a situation where your energy and capacity is not high, do you honor that or are you the kind of person that you try to push and create more capacity than it's there so you know your energy capacity is Low for multiple reasons.

Do you honor that or do you push yourself to the brink and go, no, no, no, I've got to find it. I've got to find it. I'm going to try to find it. And then put yourself in a situation where it's not ideal and it's not good. I always want to answer these questions with you for myself. I feel like it depends on who's involved. Right. If it is family or someone that I deeply love and care about, I may try to push past E and find something for them. That's not always a great thing. Sometimes it is useful and helpful.

But anything that we're doing and we notice consistently that the cost of it is too high, we want to pay attention to that. So, yeah, it can be a little bit of both. I love that she's like, nope, I've learned to honor my life and capacity and I'm quick to hide. I love it. Yeah. You know, and it's great that you learn to honor that. Like I said, I'm better at honoring it, I think, than I used to be. But I do struggle when it's someone that I love and care about or when it's family, because there's just that part of me that wants to push past it, but again, to kind of pull it back together.

What's on your plate? What are you noticing about how you're nourishing yourself? Where do you need to prune people? Where do you need to deprioritize or shift how much energy you're giving people? And let me also say how much energy you're giving to people that are pulling on you and not doing their work. So you really want to take a very honest inventory. And it can be family members, it could be a child, it could be a colleague, could be someone that you just know. But if you find that you're expending more energy than you have, then you really want to look at that and try to manage that differently.

You know, for multiple reasons. One, so that you can maintain your own sense of well being. But also we don't want to keep people from believing in themselves. Like, consider that when we don't prune, we become choked out. We become overwhelmed by too many people pulling on us, and then we don't have enough left to really even ask ourselves, what's going on with me and how can I help myself? It is not wrong to hold back enough energy so that you can support your own well being. If your mental health and well being is not in a decent Harmonious place, you will be less effective in every other area of life.

So pruning is a part of prioritizing yourself. And then as you go throughout the week, just to hit that skill again, do a brain dump. Write everything down that you know you need to accomplish. I would still say use that three category system in terms of what's necessary to do, what would I like to do, and what really isn't important. The wording that I gave in that last week is much better, but you get the gist of, you get it all out of your head and then you put in those three categories to make sure that, that you're not focusing on the things that are just nice to do and easy and not avoiding the things that are really necessary to do.

I'm a huge proponent, both personally and professionally of do first what you do best, but also the things that you fear, do those first. Get past the hard things that are there. That way when you're like, oh my gosh, that took so much out of me, then the energy that you have left, you can use that for the other smaller task. The other thing we talked about last week that I want to reiterate is the two minute task. So if there's anything that comes up for you that you can get done and accomplish in two minutes, just go ahead and get it done, knock it out and don't let it stack up.

Do you have any thoughts or questions about anything that I've talked about today? I need to make a mental note to give you all more opportunities to ask questions about anything. When it comes to kind of organizing, setting up your week, organizing your brain by doing the brain dump, by using the three category system, by using the two minute task priority, all of those things help brain functioning. So it's not just about, oh, I don't understand how this fits. Anytime we can organize what's in our brain, organize our energy and capacity, and make sure that there's a good rhythm and flow to our week.

That's the difference between getting to Wednesday and feeling like you're about to fall out and or getting to Friday and feeling like it's been a great week, but you still have plenty of mental energy and physical energy to take you throughout the week. And as always, don't neglect your physical movement. Movement is absolutely essential to our mental health and well being. It's great for endorphins. It helps when it comes to digestion. So if you are noticing some different things on how you're nourishing yourself, that's a really important process of digestion and elimination.

It helps our cells, it helps our oxygen, it helps our blood flow, it helps our joints. Whatever movement you will do is the movement to do. So try to incorporate that as well and making sure that you maintain yourself as the top priority on your list. I look forward to seeing all of you on Wednesday, and I hope you have a fabulous, fabulous weekend.