Conscious fear, how are you in this moment? Come in, let us know where you are in the world. It's a powerful way, whether you're watching live or on replay, that we connect and remind ourselves that we are all in different places. all working through many ways to be well but we come into this space and this is where we have community which is one of our pillars and this is also a space where we get to preserve dignity which means that regardless of what you're going through and what you're experiencing hello Wisconsin you are still wonderful and valuable and great today I want to talk about boundaries and seven boundaries that protect your well-being.
While I get started with why this is important, tell me, how have boundaries looked for you lately? Hello, Statesboro. What are you noticing about boundaries in any areas that are important to you? Are you keeping them? Are you not? Give me the tea. All right. Opening quote, A boundary isn't a wall that keeps people out. It's a gate that helps you decide what gets access to your energy. I'll say that again. A boundary isn't a wall that keeps people out. It is a gate that helps you decide what gets access to your energy.
Sometimes you may find that you're in situations where you are exhausted and it's not necessarily because you're doing too much, but because you're allowing too much. Maybe you're allowing too many opinions. Hello, Erie, PA. Maybe you are allowing too many demands, too much guilt, too much access. And here's what I've learned about all of those dynamics, both clinically and personally, is the people who burn out the fastest are often the people with the biggest hearts. Not because they're weak, not because they're selfish, but because they've confused limitless availability.
And so I want you to recognize that boundaries are not about making you hard. They're about helping you stay whole. So what is a boundary? What they are, what they aren't. Boundaries are clear limits. That's also sometimes the most challenging aspect. Boundaries are healthy expectations. They're protection for your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, and they're a form of self-respect. Love the boundaries that you're putting in the chat. And if you are watching on replay, please still put yours in, participate, engage in this moment.
That word that you're using, Jackie, I will is a declarative statement and really triggers something in the brain that helps us follow through. So that's great that you're using that. Boundaries are not punishment, although people will try to make you feel that way. They're not rejection. They're not necessarily control or you being mean or making people like you less. Those are all things that unhealthy people may try to make you feel about the boundaries that you need to keep, but at their core, that is not what a boundary is designed to do.
In fact, healthy boundaries often reveal which relationships were dependent on your lack of boundaries in the first place. Did you catch that? The people in your life that push against your boundaries are often the people who were benefiting from your lack of boundaries. That's why they're uncomfortable. not because your boundaries are wrong, but because they change systems. They change the way that you interact with other people. And here's why that matters. So research consistently shows that chronic stress, people pleasing, emotional overload, and a lack of recovery contributes to things like anxiety, depression, burnout, sleep disruption, increased inflammation, emotional exhaustion.
Do you realize that a lack of boundaries and giving the wrong things and the wrong people access to your energy actually creates inflammation, which wreaks havoc on your health and your body? So mind body is so big. So from a neuroscience perspective, every time you override your own needs, to manage someone else's comfort, your brain learns their needs are more important than mine. And if you do that long enough, your nervous system starts living in survival modes. And so boundaries really teach the brain I matter too.
So here are 7 boundaries that protect your well-being. I'm going to just list these seven and then over the next several weeks, I'll go into them in a little bit more detail. Number one, the time boundaries. Stop giving away time you don't actually have. If you're guilty of that, just put in the chat, it's me. Like we'll be honest and at least take inventory as we go through these. Number two, the emotional boundary. You are not responsible for regulating everyone else's emotions. If you felt your heart flutter and acknowledging that made you go, that might mean that's a boundary that you need to work on.
You're not responsible for regulating everyone else's emotions. Number three, the energy boundary. Not every conversation deserves your energy. There is so much power in sometimes hearing people and just letting them continue the conversation without you giving it a lot of energy. Number four, the access boundary. Everyone doesn't deserve unlimited access to you. Number five, the guilt boundary. Stop negotiating with guilt. A lot of times we mistake guilt for guidance, but guilt isn't always wisdom.
Sometimes guilt simply means I'm doing something different than what people are accustomed to. And these are very different things. I will definitely go into that when I cover that one. The identity boundary. This is six. You don't have to stay who everyone expects you to be. I feel like I want to say that again. that there's somebody listening that might need to hear that. You don't have to stay who everyone expects you to be. And number seven, the peace boundary. Protect your peace even when it disappoints people.
This doesn't mean avoiding difficult conversations, but it does mean refusing unnecessary chaos. All right. Over the weeks to come, I'll go through these boundaries in a little bit more detail and then give you a simple tool that you can use as you're navigating how to implement, re-implement, create, work through some boundaries that you know would be extremely helpful. Let me repeat those seven at 7 again. Number one, The time boundary, seven boundaries that protect your wellbeing. Number two, the emotional boundary.
Number three, the energy boundary. Number four, the access boundary. Number five, the guilt boundary. Number six, the identity boundary. And number seven, the peace boundary. Okay, before I wrap up, which of those seven do you feel like, ooh, that's the one I need to hear about or work on? Maybe give me your top three, closing thought. A lot of times we think that boundaries separate us from other people, but healthy boundaries are what reconnects us to ourself. The goal is not for you to build a life where there's no one that's disappointed.
That's not possible. The goal is to build a life where you are no longer disappearing. And with that, thank you for being here and being in this space. I hope you heard at least one thing today that you can take and grab hold of it and you can use it in your life. Come back to this space whenever you need it and I'll see you soon.
