Sex is everywhere in this society. Out in the open. In the dark alleys. In the secrets. All over the Internet. And also in the joy. In the pleasure. In the connection!
Dan opens the stream from Santa Monica and frames today's theme of conscious living while referencing last week's focus on conscious couples. He previews a discussion about how society navigates sex and sets the tone for the episode.
Dan reflects on when people first learn about sex and gives concrete examples of seeing sexual content repeatedly in everyday media. He frames this immersion as part of conscious living and raises the challenge of embracing sexuality without shame or entitlement.
Dan recalls a graduate-school anecdote that captures historical messages that sex is 'dirty' and contrasts that with the mixed messages found on platforms like Instagram and TikTok. He points to healthier approaches and highlights 'Make Love, Not Porn' as an example of celebrating sex without objectification.
Jordan speaks about how sex is often mythologized as perfect and spontaneous, and how long-term relationships force a recalibration of those expectations. He shares personal learning about creativity and realistic navigation of intimacy.
Dan discusses how to mature conversations about sex, mentioning his wife's idea that 'sex is the barometer for the relationship' and suggesting physical intimacy can sometimes help reclaim connection. The episode closes with a playful sign-off and outro.
Happy Saturday, Cadre! And I don't know if you can see, but I am here in Santa Monica, California with the ocean behind me. I always do my little live streams from... from where? From my backyard. Yeah, that's my backyard that I'm off and doing it for. But I thought, you know what? If we're gonna have a bountiful discussion, we should have a bountiful view. Hey! So, you know, here's the deal, right? Last week, one of the things I talked about was conscious couples and the whole idea of like, how do couples talk about navigate sex?
So this week, it's more like conscious living in like our society, right? So think about when was the first time you talked about sex or heard about sex or learned about sex, when's the first time you saw pornography, when's the first time you saw somebody naked, I was thinking about it And I saw, let's see, I saw a breast twice yesterday. I saw an erect penis twice and a flaccid penis twice just yesterday. I wasn't seeking them out. I'm not talking about on only fans. I'm just talking about on your standard shows.
I mean, they might be like, you know, whatever for more mature audiences, ideally, but That's it. So it's like when you are constantly immersed in sex, right? Constantly immersed in a sea of sex and bodies, how do you navigate? 'Cause it's coming in, right? It's coming into your psychology, it's coming into your mentality, and this is called conscious living, right? The fourth Saturday is always conscious living. So how do we find a way to like consciously like embrace our desire, embrace our sexuality, embrace our bodies, embrace who we are without shame, but without grandiosity, without this entitlement that sometimes men especially can have.
When I was in graduate school, one of my professors had a little sign up on his door and it said sex is a very dirty thing. You should only do it with somebody you love. And That's kind of how our society is and has been for a very long time. And I don't think it's gotten better. Now, at the same time, you can go on Instagram, you can go on TikTok, and you can see things about sex. And there are couples talking about like, hey, how to learn positions and how to talk about like sex with your partner, or like talking about the whole idea of sexual addiction or talking about like sexual titillation and desire, communication and all of these different things, right?
But then you're immersed in this sea of all this other insane stuff that just doesn't feel or seem very healthy. I enjoy sex. I enjoy having sex. I enjoy sex alone and also with a partner. There's nothing to be ashamed about that. We don't talk about like that aspect enough. We can make jokes and then we can kind of talk about the grandiose or the kind of the more titillating kind of things. But then there's just like, how do you have just a normal, healthy, integrated sense of sexuality? So those are some of my thoughts, right?
Because it's like, you have the conversations, you read the healthy, articles. You go to some of the healthy channels or the healthy spaces in any number of places because they're there. They're out there and if you seek them they're there. There's even healthy pornography. You know about that? There's a pornographic or a channel called Make Love, Not Porn. And the person who created it was all about, I want to celebrate sex, I want to celebrate people's desire without turning it into objectification and misogyny and all the other stuff that pornography often has.
So anyways, those are some of my thoughts. I don't know, what do you think, Jordan? And hey, I'm Jordan, the assistant cameraman for a cadre, and helping Dan make a video today, and if he's gonna pass the mic to me, I mean, I would just say. Let me pass the mic one time. No, I mean, I think for me, like a lot of us. sex starts as a myth in our lives. it starts as like this thing we want to be absolutely perfect, passionate, romantic, natural, spontaneous. You don't have to talk about it. You don't have to compromise because the magic of two individuals whose passion for each other cannot be denied and erupts in a spectacular climax with rainbows.
I feel like that's kind of where, that's where I started. And what I expect every single sexual encounter forever And it's been a journey back into a little bit of a reality for me over the years in long-term relationships and learning to navigate my own expectations, my own super duper hyped up expectations of, you know, not only of like what sex is supposed to look like, but what's the lead up to sex like, you know? And I think in long-term relationships, you know, sex can kind of get blocked.
It can kind of, it gets harder to arrive at that mythical destination together. And I think learning how to navigate that and how to find a new kind of magic, it takes a lot of creativity. And I'm on the journey with you. I'm on the journey, I mean, not with you with you, but as your friend. And that's my two cents today. So I'll get back to cameraman duty and here's Dan. Well, I think that's wonderful, Jordan. And I mean, you said something that's really important is it's like How do we mature the conversation?
How do we keep it going? My partner and I, I love my wife, and she just really has some great sayings sometimes. And one of her sayings is, sex is the barometer for the relationship. What a great freaking line. Now, of course, I didn't really like that quote when we weren't doing great, because I just wanted to still have sex, even though we weren't communicating or there was a lot of anger and resentment. And her point is, is like, you shouldn't kinda want to just have sex if you're not really feeling that connected.
My argument, which I also think has validity, is but you can also reclaim some of that connection by making love and having that physical interaction and that kind of experience, right? So that is all part of it. So, this has been another Conscious Cadre, Saturday edition. DG Dan G, Dan, what is it? Delulu Dan. That's an inside joke, please don't repeat it. Bye. So, then there's a countdown. Three, two, one, boop!
