Rachel’s Room🛋️Showing Up As You Are

Happy Thursday. Hello. I first just want to say I'm sorry if I had. I had two lives scheduled for today. And it's because I pre scheduled all my lives at the beginning of this month for my normal time, which is this time. And then at the beginning of this week, I went in to go schedule my lives, and I was like, oh, the two o' clock spots already taken. I'll have to do it at three. But the two o' clock was me. So this is my lifetime. I'm not going live at three. Anyways. Okay, so today we're gonna be talking about showing up as you are.

That is the theme this week. And last week we talked about being honest with yourself. So if you didn't check out my video that I posted about that, that's on my page. And I went live about that last week, too. But today we're talking about showing up as you are. So what does that mean? I feel like, you know, for a lot of folks who struggle with their mental health, that can kind of look like a lot of different things. That can look like taking off masks that we wear just in general with our personality because we're afraid of being liked or not being liked, of not being liked.

And so we try to show up as somebody that we're not in order to fit in or belong. That can mean, you know, the ways in which we maybe withhold or hide, you know, things about our mental health out of fear of being rejected or misunderstood that can, you know, show up like people, pleasing and reducing that so that we can honor what we need and who we are in social spaces and actually, you know, have our. Our needs met. So this is really, like. This is something that I have struggled with for a long time and I'm so much better at.

But, you know, I spent a lot of my teenage years and twenties really trying to be who I thought people not necessarily wanted me to be, but be someone that I thought people would like. So that meant I was pretending to like certain music or clothes or be interested in certain hobbies so that I could match what other people were interested in to fit in. It also meant that I was, like, suppressing or not owning the things that I did like out of fear of being rejected, because maybe it was different.

And Milo Miles, like, don't do that, girl. And what I found is that that would work initially. Like, that would initially get me in. But in the long term, I oftentimes felt socially incredibly invisible. I felt like nobody actually really knew who I was. So a lot of My needs weren't being met. Nobody. Like, people didn't really know how to show up for me, or, like, stupid s***. Like, on my birthday, people would buy me stuff I didn't like, and I would feel really disappointed and really unseen and misunderstood.

And a lot of that was because I wasn't actually giving people the opportunity to know the real me. So I was not able to actually experience real deep connection because I wasn't providing them with an opportunity to really connect with who I was. So I've gotten a lot better, you know, in my 30s, at really owning the things that I like and don't like being comfortable with liking different things than other people being okay with not knowing things. This is a really big one, too. Is like admitting not to know something.

Because, like, if I'm in a conversation and someone's talking about, you know, let's say it's a movie that I had never heard of. Instead of pretending like I do and nodding along, thinking that if I do that, then I can stay included, I just will say, like, I've never heard of that before. And then they can teach me about it and I can learn about it. And then there's an actual moment of connection there because I actually know what they're talking. Um, and. And so, like, really being able to. To own what I own what I like and don't like, and also, like, be okay with not knowing and being different.

The other thing, too, is I was so scared to show up as I was because I was afraid that who I really was was gonna scare people or people weren't gonna like me. And as a result, like, oftentimes in conversations, I was always the listener or the person holding space or asking questions, but never really revealing anything about myself. And I also was like, I can't talk about who I am or what I'm going through or, like, even share. Like, this is something that happened to me this week or happened.

Like, something basic. It doesn't have to be, like, super deep because I felt like I had to be asked first. And I felt like if somebody didn't ask me, they probably didn't want to know. And the truth is, like, sometimes people just don't know what to ask or just. They're just. They're just. You want to just talk to you. And I had to realize, like, oh, I actually have to also learn how to show up as I am by showing up. Like, I have to actually show up and talk about myself and share things about myself.

And not in a way where I'm like take. Excuse me, Taking over the entire conversation. Or like, what's the word I'm looking for? Not dominating. But there's a word for this. Not dominating. Like, taking. I can't think of it. Dominating the space and, you know, not creating room for other people, but also creating room for myself. And I think sometimes showing up as we are also means taking up space. And it means allowing ourselves to take up space in the. In the spaces that we're in and really be there.

And I know that's really, really hard sometimes. So, you know, it's not, like, going to happen overnight. But it does really help to start with, you know, if I want to show up as I am, I have to know who I am. And so really, like, more familiar with who you are, whether that's like, what are you. What are you interested in, right? Like, what music do you like? What colors do you like? What kinds of places do you like? What food do you like? What do you not like? What lights you up? What. What brings you joy?

What sucks? Your energy, like, getting more aware of these things and, like, comfortable with them. So that when you're ready to show up as you are, you have this vocabulary to work with because, like, pretending. Pretending to be somebody we're not is exhausting, and it actually doesn't get us anywhere. And as hard as it is to be who we are and show up as we are and how scar and, like, how scary that is, the reward is so high. And I think this also, like, has to do with, like, showing up when we're not okay.

Like, I think sometimes showing up as we are also means, like, meeting ourselves where we're at in the moment. So if I'm not having a good day, like, showing up that way, like, if I'm. If I'm feeling sad showing up sad, if I'm tired showing up tired and showing up to our lives where we are like, as we are, rather than trying to pretend everything is fine or that we have energy that we don't or, you know, whatever that might. Wait, whatever that might mean that we still show up, even if we're not perfect.

So this is. It's an interesting topic for sure, because I'm working on this right now, and I'm really proud of how far I've come. And there's. There's definitely still work to go. So I hope this live is working. I'm wondering if it's not just because my normal people aren't here, but maybe y' all are busy. I'm not going to take it personally, but hopefully this works and gets posted. I know there's been a couple glitches that they're working really hard to fix, so crossing my fingers. I love you all very much and I hope that you're taking really good care of yourselves.

And I will see you same time. 2 o', clock, not 3 o'. Clock.