We're working, we're live. It's working, yay. Hello everybody. I'm gonna give folks a few moments to trickle in. We're here. We're here. I'm very happy because my life has not been working this month, so yay, yay. Hi Luke, hello, hello, hello, so good to see you. I'm so happy that my live stream is working. So today, let's talk about a few things. But today I want to talk about, is this your new place? I'm in a sublet right now, so I'm subletting until I find a new apartment. So it's my place for now, but sure, we'll say yes-ish.
which is kind of funny because it relates a little bit to what I was going to talk about today, which is not comparing your timeline to somebody else's and pacing. Because I know for myself I have a tendency to, and I'm a lot better at this than I used to be, but a tendency to compare my life timeline to other people's. Like I feel like I should be further along, I feel like I should have certain things figured out. I see other people my age doing certain things or accomplishing certain things and I'm like, why am I not there?
And I can also do that within my own timeline. Like I can create this idea for myself of what I want my timeline to look like. Like by this date or this time of year, I'm going to have X, Y, and Z done. And if that time is approaching and I'm not there or I haven't arrived there, I can get really almost panicked, like I get really stressed out and a lot of anxiety. And this has been showing up for me right now because I'm in a sublet while I look for a permanent space. And sorry, I ate lunch, so I have a sandwich in my teeth.
And I'm supposed to be out of here in two weeks. And so now I'm trying to figure out like, okay, where am I going to go next? And because I haven't found a place yet. And instead of just like, extending here for another couple of weeks while I figure it out, my brain is like, no, but you have to find the next spot. You have to figure out what's coming next. You have to line things up. And I get really stressed out and I get really panicked and it's hard for me to focus on anything else because I feel like I have to get this figured out in order for everything to feel okay.
I know a lot of that is because as human beings, we really love to have security and stability. And like at baseline, one of those things that makes us feel safe and secure is our environment, is our literal housing. And when that feels in flux or not stable, it's very hard for us to then, like Maslow's hierarchy, it's very hard for us to even think about meeting our other needs, like our emotional needs, our psychological needs, our relational needs. So I know there's an element of that is very human and there's an element of that is Rachel and perfectionism and feeling like I need to have things figured out rather than letting things be kind of messy.
Like what if I just was here for the rest of the month before finding another place like this? It's truly not the end of the world. It's 2 weeks, but in my brain it's not okay. And so it's very important that I remind myself as often as I can that there's actually no timeline. Like it's all made-up. I made it up in my head. I made every single timeline up in my head around where I should be in life, around what should be happening, around what I should have accomplished or what should be like solidified.
And it's arbitrary. Literally, there's not like some external person or governing body that's like, if you don't have these things done by this date, you can't be a human being anymore. We're kicking you out of human world. You're done. Like I have literally made it all up myself. But I think we can get really down on ourselves when we don't meet these timelines. And it feels as if we're going to be punished. It feels as if something bad is going to happen. But the truth is, nothing bad is going to happen.
No one is going to punish us except maybe ourselves. And so to combat that anxiety, I have to find a lot of self-compassion, and I have to find a lot of flexibility in my mind and my nervous system to be able to adapt when things don't go exactly as planned, and to be able to remind myself, like, you know, things are a little messy right now, things are a little uncertain right now, and I'm actually okay. Like, it does not mean that something bad is happening or has happened, but that can be really hard to do.
It could be really hard to do. So, I need to send you a site I found with Reasonableish Rentals. Sure, feel free to send it to me. I think I'm gonna try and, what the other thing is, I just got a new job. So I don't know exactly yet, but I will make a post like in the community on Cadre. My lives will probably change times based on what my new work hours are. I just don't have them yet, but I will know next week. But yeah, so because my work is changing, I'm thinking I'll just sublet either another place or this place until I have a better idea of what I can actually afford based on my new work.
So I'm sort of holding off on finding like a permanent rental until I know more, which is I think also where my brain is going to this whole like neurotic, okay, well now I have to figure out something else that's also going to be temporary. instead of feeling like I'm figuring out something with all the, I still have all the information. And I have to remind myself, like, just because I don't have all the information doesn't mean I can't make a decision and, go from there. So, but yeah, it's so hard, I think, to also with social media to not compare ourselves to what everyone else is doing and compare our timelines to theirs and be like, oh, well, Sally and Joe are buying a house.
I should be buying a house or these people are on vacation, I feel I should be on vacation. Like whatever that is, like we can compare ourselves so often. But as some brilliant human has said, comparison is the thief of joy. And it is very, very difficult to not do that in this modern world where everyone's life is online. And as much as we can, we have to be able to remind ourselves that there is no right timeline, period. There's not. And nobody is going to punish us if we don't meet a certain timeline.
It is all made-up in our brains. It's not just you though. Society focuses on timelines so much. The pressure is real. We can definitely internalize it to different degrees. Sometimes have to remind myself it's okay to not be where it seems I should be. Yes, 100%. I agree. I made a video about this that's on my profile. It's like a little more in depth on like finding your own timeline. And I made another one that also kind of talks about like doing too much, which is another kind of byproduct of this sort of anxiety world of like feeling like we should be caught up and therefore we start doing more things, which ultimately leads to burnout or not being able to do any of those things very effectively.
So I made a video about that too, which is related. It's so hot here. I need to remember to hydrate more. If you drink water today, this is a reminder to drink water. Okay my loves, well I'm just going to double down on there's no right timeline. Nobody's going to punish you if you don't meet a timeline in a certain capacity or form and chances are you're doing enough. I love you very much and I will keep you posted on my new live time. As soon as I know I will make a post about it. And also it'll just, I'll change it in my scheduled lives.
Okay honey buns, I hope you have a lovely rest of your Thursday and I will see you next week, different time, same place. Okay, bye bye. Drink water, drink water.
