Sober Not Somber Hour

Foreign. Hello. Hi. Hi there. Happy Tuesday. The sun is out in Minneapolis and I am so happy about that. This morning I was on a call with someone from Chicago and she's like, oh, it's sunny here. It feels great. And this morning in Minneapolis, it was not. It was overcast once again and we, we're getting tired of it. So four o' clock's a whole different story. The sun has come out for us today, which is always feels so good. So. Welcome in to Sober not somber hour. I'm Jen Ve, your host. I'm here with my golden doodle copper who is probably due for a walk.

Some of you that have been with me on these sober not somber hours know that this is the time of the day where it sort of pushes his patience. But, but usually I can hold off until after we chat. So today my beverage of choice is Tada Even, Even Bev. And there's four varieties. This is a Cosmo. I love all, all their varieties. They have four varieties. This one in particular has cranberry, orange and a citrus to it. Really, really amazing. I don't even have ice in here. This is chilled just from the fridge.

So I'm just gonna go with that. Today, local company really, really love their product. I bring them to events and serve them all the time. Oh my gosh, that's so good. So happy hour Sober not somber hour usually includes highlighting a non alcoholic beverage of my choice. And today, as mentioned, it's even. And then we also just get into the topic on the Cadre sphere of the month and more specifically the week. So the month February is all about real connection. That is not lost on me considering it's the month of Valentine's Day and love.

So real connection. And then the sub theme for the week is to show up as you are. And yeah, I like to connect that back to sobriety. What I'm thinking about today is asking the question, when in the past was I sort of performing and I was showing up and then what did it look like when there were times where I could just sort of show up as I was. And I was thinking back to early sobriety in those times where it was absolutely humbling after a relapse or return to use to go into the rooms of AA that I had already been in and declared sobriety.

And then I was working on it and then to have to show up as I was after a second return to use and, and show up and ask for help and be totally kind of raw in that space and devoid of any facade that I could possibly conjure up to, like, perform. Going into that. That room on that day where I once again asked for help, I definitely showed up as I was that day. And as hard as it was to do that and all of the. The pain that that was about, there was still just a comfort. And, like, there's nothing more to be done.

There's nothing more to prove. There's no more, you know, seeking around, sneaking around, hiding my sobriety, being in secrecy about my drinking. And that was the last four months of my last return to use. It was four months of sort of secrecy and hiding, drinking from. From those closest to me. Not great. Not a great feeling. So a lot of not showing up or trying to pretend I was in a different state of mind or mindset, and all of that can be so exhausting. So I don't know if any of you have experienced that, a little bit of an exhaustion around showing up all the time and putting on a performance.

So I want to prompt that question, but I also want to ask, you know, when were there times where you felt like you could show up as you were, and how did that go? Was it a scary feeling to kind of walk into a space or be in a space and just tell yourself, I'm just gonna show up as I am? Or maybe you didn't even deliberately think of it, and your nervous system sort of overrode the facade, and you just ended up kind of being in your emotional truth or showing up as you were because you just needed to.

There was nothing else to do. I think about coming into the rooms with total strangers in the beginning of aa, and somehow even those strangers could sort of see me and hold my truth because they could relate. And also in their role, they were allowing me to show up as I was. That was the other kind of interesting piece to thinking about showing up for yourself and what that can. How that can impact others. So I think by showing up as you are authentically, and that's how I take to mean showing up as you are versus, like, unprepared or just sort of coming into a space without intention or thoughtfulness.

But showing up as you are to me means authenticity. So what does that do to others in that same space? It totally changes the dynamic. Think about coming into a meeting or a zoom meeting, and you're behind a screen. You can't get a sense of the person's, like, emotional state before all of a sudden, they're just on screen. You're on screen. I've had this happen many times lately. Where it's an early morning call or I just don't feel like my best self or maybe prepared for the call, but within a moment, if I'm asking the question on a human level, before we get into the business of the conversation, I always feel like that authentic showing up as I am, you know, like, I'm usually wearing a hat or I'm into like half of my first cup of coffee may not be my total 100% self, but I think by doing so it allows others.

I can't tell you how many times people have appreciated that when I've allowed them space and vice versa. So I think it's really important, I think it's extremely important now to not gloss over all of the challenges that we have and ask those questions. I think it's really important. Yeah. Oh, my gosh, that is so good. So again, I am consuming even today for my happy hour. And I would encourage you to think about the spaces where you, you know, find the most reward when you show up for yourself.

And that can be a scary practice. So how are you going to practice that this week? I'd love to hear drop in the comments if you are catching this at a later time. You know what's going to be your challenge? To maybe show up in a space as authentic and vulnerable. Maybe it's a space you haven't done that to quite the extent before. So I'd love to hear, what are you going to do this week? How are you going to show up and show up as you are? Thank you all. Have a great week and we will see you post Valentine's Day.