Why I Stopped Saying “I’m Sorry” All The Time

Good day, Cadre. Hope you are enjoying your afternoon. It is great day for me so far. Hope I can share some of that energy. And if. If you're not feeling so great today, let's. That's fine too. Wherever you are, I hope you're. And whatever you're feeling, I hope you're just embracing. And so I love to start with just like a deep breath, just to kind of calm into our bodies, notice our bodies. You can even, like, hold your hands. Like, I do that sometimes just to literally hold myself. It's a good sensory experience.

I know that I've been working for four hours and my brain is a little more. So some. Some touch and is always, always a good thing to do. But after you notice your body and take a few deep breaths, I want you to just kind of feel deeper into your body, noticing your heart space, your belly, your hips. And just try to release any remaining tension because today's topic is about boundaries and connection and boundaries. And I want to start off with the story of when I stopped saying sorry all the time.

Because this was the trigger for me of learning that boundaries are. They start with. With us, right? We. And I had to learn how to stop apologizing for being human and making, like, simple mistakes. And one day I was walking through a parking lot and I was late for something and I hit a rear view mirror, like, so hard I didn't see it. I was just trying to zip through the parking lot to get into, like, my class, and I whacked the crap out of my arm and it literally, like, woke me up into. So I hit it and then I said sorry to it.

I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. And then I realized I literally. I apologized to a mirror, a rear view mirror. And it has no feelings maybe. I don't know. Jury's out on that. And it just kind of shook me that, you know what? Sorry has been my first language for a really long time. Like, I have been catering to what people, you know, need. I never want to inconvenience anybody. I never want to put more work on them. I'm trying to be super polite, kind of like people pleaser, ish. And this moment hitting myself and saying sorry to the rearview mirror woke me up from that.

It was like, okay, this has got to stop. Stop. Like, this is not helpful. And I. I just started asking, like, okay, this is not a healthy boundary that I'm constantly doing this to inanimate objects. So I started to ask myself, like, okay, where do I need to stop? Apologizing for just simply making a mistake, for. For being a woman in, in human life and living my day to day life. And from there on I was just like, I'm done apologizing unless I like, truly did something terrible wrong right where it warranted an apology.

But just bumping into a stranger in the grocery store or not getting the door to hold it open for them in time because the timing was off. Like, I'm done apologizing for that stuff. I was, I was done. And it made me realize that I need better boundaries. I looked at the boundaries I had with myself. They weren't great. Boundaries I had with others were not great. And I decided to come into my body and as always, right when we're, when we're in our bodies, we're less in our minds and our minds and egos are taking over less.

And so that was when I just really started, started to be in my power. I knew that I didn't want to say sorry anymore and I. But that meant that I had to step into my power because I was saying sorry as an insecurity, as a, you know, please like me type of mentality that I had been raised and living in for 20 plus years. So I had to step into my power. And when I did, I saw that I kind of had loose boundaries with, with discipline, loose boundaries with technology, work, and different, like work relationships or friend relationships.

And so I started to ask myself, like, okay, do I feel great with these people? Do I feel okay with these people? Do I not feel good at all with these people? Like, am I honoring my needs or am I trying to put their experience first? Like, I want to make sure that they're having a good time, that they're doing well. And instead of like, what do I feel about this? So it was a lot. I realized that I had a lot of work to do and thankfully I had some great therapists and some great coaches and I actually was able to learn how to say no because that was a huge thing for me.

I was never saying no. I agreed to everything. And I was almost in this like, performative era of trying to get people to like me that I thought that maybe they could help me to either like advance my career or my social status or whatever it was. And that had to go. So I started to say no more, Evaluate how I felt around people during and after I, I interacted with them and I definitely tightened up my, my inner circle for sure. And so, like, I realized it's not, it wasn't like my Job to make everybody feel comfortable.

It's life is uncomfortable sometimes for everybody and as it should be, you know, So I, I hope that you know, as, as you evaluate your boundaries because this has been, the February theme of connection has been a really prominent one and one that's always really good to constantly reevaluate. You know, our time and energy is so vital to our well being and being around the wrong people and vibrations really can kind of make or break your, your mindset, your, your feeling, your, your healthiness, you know.

And so after, you know, I had evaluated my boundaries with myself and just accepted myself for being human and then evaluated my boundaries with my friends, my family, work, stuff like that. The other thing that I want to mention is that getting rid of behaviors such as people pleasing, which is what I was rooted in for so many years, when I started to get rid of that, I gained so much more respect. So much more respect. I saw how when I stood up for what I needed or, or wanted or set a boundary, people respected me more and they treated me with this like, acceptance of like that's okay.

Yeah, like if you need that, you do, you, you know, and I wasn't catering to people anymore. And so some people liked that and some people didn't. And so it definitely, you know, rocked my, my social circle for a little bit. But like, I say it how it is now, you know, I, I, I don't want to beat her on the bush with anything. I don't need to over explain myself to, to feel better or, you know, let it out. Like this is what, what's it called? Smart Brevity. One of my favorite books. This is how I feel.

This is what I need. Yes or no, Boom. Like, keep it concise. People can't remember much detail anyway. And so I just started getting clearer and really like stepping into my power was, was a huge part of, part of that. And so I hope that if you struggle with that, being a people pleaser or just trying to have everything be like harmonious so that there's no friction or conflict or you're afraid of conflict or anything like that, ask yourself why like, and connect with your body and say like, where am I feeling this?

And like what am I holding on to that's making me continue this repetitive behavior over and over or this cycle? And do you want to break out of the cycle? So boundaries are tough. I know that as soon as I had that aha moment and really started working on it with some professionals and practicing with my friends and my family, my Life got a lot more clear, got a lot more expansive and open, more fun because I was actually like paying attention to myself instead of trying to read the room of what everybody else wanted or needed.

And so ask yourself, like, am I inconveniencing people right now or do I ask myself that often and, and switch that with like, do I feel okay here? Do I feel safe with this person? Do I feel like I'm growing and that we're on a similar path? Like, do I feel lighter after doing this? Do I have my good boundaries in place with my health, with my work and my technologies and, and things like that? Just some self inquiry to, for you to ask. Because if we aren't aware of what we're doing, we can't change it.

So ask those uncomfortable questions and work through it. And when you have capacity, it's tough and it takes time too. Don't rush. Just feel what you're feeling and meet yourself where you're at. And we're not perfect, we're only human. So forgive yourself for being human and making mistakes. Work on your self boundaries first and then start to, you know, solidify your boundaries out with others and you know, continue this journey of, of stepping into your power and letting people be who they are and whether they grow with you or not, that's.

That's life, baby. She's, she's gonna keep on going. So great to connect with everybody. I hope that you are doing well. It's, it's been an interesting 2026 for sure. So. So hang in there and you know, go back to your body. Breathe, feel, release, scream, shake, journal, write, do whatever you got to do. Let some of it out and remember to step into your power. It'll feel so good and it might feel a little crazy at first, but it will pay off in the long run the more you step into your power and be about it.

Yeah, super person pose where you put your hands on your hips like this and you just stand tall like, like Superman. You can call it Superman. They say that that literally will exit, you will exude more confidence. Just neurochemically it will help you feel more confident. So go be a super person today. I believe in you. Enjoy and hope to see you next Friday. Be.