What if I told you that a lot of your stress isn’t because of how much you are doing, but how fast you’re doing it? If you want to start creating a personal pace but don’t know where to start, here are three gentle check-ins you can try.
Rachel Havocost is a writer and mental health advocate. She says the speed at which you operate is a direct reflection of how fast life is coming at you. Here are three gentle ways to start creating your own personal pace.
If I told you that a lot of your stress isn't because of how much you're doing, but how fast you're doing it. Hi, my name is Rachel Havocost. I'm a writer and mental health advocate and my only hope on this app is to provide you with empowerment tools and inspiration to move through your recovery at your own pace. I've struggled with perfectionism since I was a kid and in a society that rewards productivity, wanting to succeed benefited me for a long time until it started to physically and mentally harm me.
Years of overworking myself, having poor boundaries and refusing to rest led me to chronic fatigue, nervous system collapse, and burnout. It has taken me many years to learn how to balance my time, energy and productivity, and it's still a practice. What I've learned is that the speed at which you choose to operate is a direct reflection of how fast life will feel like it's coming at you. Let me explain. So let's say you get an email at 7pm on a Friday and you respond right away. And this is assuming that you work a 9 to 5 so you can adapt the time frame to meet mean outside your normal work hours.
There is now a 5050 chance that you'll get a reply the same night or over the weekend even if you're not working. If you didn't respond and waited until Monday, there is a 0% chance of a reply unless it's urgent or the person emailing you doubles down and sends a follow up, in which case they are definitely operating from a place of stress which you don't need to match. By acting with speed, you've opened up the door for speed to come your way. The same is true with our social life, physical movement, creativity, or anything that we can alter the pace of.
If we talk quickly or interrupt others in conversation, they'll match this tone to try and get a word in. If we race through a workout and try to do multiple exercises at once or without rest, we'll probably injure ourselves. If we don't wait for the paint to dry before adding another color, the pigments will not wait to blend and change color in order for our lives to unfold at the pace we want. And maybe for you, that's rapid fire and that's okay. We have to set the speed. So if I want to feel heard and understood in conversations, I too need to listen, wait my turn and speak with patience.
If I want to paint a big landscape painting, I need to take the process one step at a time. From stenciling to base colors to shading. If I want to improve my physical health, I need to listen to my body during movement, rest appropriately so my muscles can recover and and focus on proper form over intensity. Personal pacing is not about creating discipline in the pursuit of productivity. It's about redefining how you pace your daily tasks to improve your wellbeing. If you wanna start creating personal pace but don't know where to start, here are three gentle check ins you can try 1.
Notice urgency. Ask yourself, is this actually urgent or do I feel rushed because I'm afraid of falling behind? Urgency is often emotional, not factual. 2. Track your energy, not just your output. Instead of asking what did I get done today? Try asking how drained or regulated do I feel after doing it? 3. Practice pacing without justification. You don't need a dramatic reason to slow down. You don't need to be burned out, sick, or overwhelmed. To choose a gentler speed because this works better for me is enough of a reason.
Creating a personal pace isn't about doing less forever. It's about doing life in a way your body does not have to recover from. When you move at a pace that feels safe and supportive, progress stops feeling like pressure and starts feeling like something you can actually stay with. Let me know how you plan to redefine your personal pace in the comments. And you never know. Your plan could help someone else who is stuck creating theirs.
