Monday Motion w/Roe Time For New Tools!

Good morning. Good morning. Cadre Fam. We'll give it a few minutes for people to roll in. Welcome, welcome. It's Monday. It's a little snowy, it's a little icy. Be safe out on those roads today. I am coming to find you live from one of my favorite coffee shops, 5 watts. So if the audio isn't all that great, you can't hear me that good. It's because I'm at one of my favorite coffee shops on the road today. Everything took twice as long today because traffic, traffic was horrendous today. My typical 17 minute drive took about 30.

So that's always fun. So give us a few minutes for people to jump on board. But one of the things today, what I've been, I want to talk about and what I've been thinking about this last week or so that's been really hitting me hard is tools, right? All the tools we have, whether it's emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, we all have so many tools. But when we're first rebuilding or building our lives or tackling a new problem or things are popping up, there's certain tools that we learn that are good for certain situations in certain levels of where we're at.

Right. I've been doing a lot of self reflection and what keeps coming to mind is that how I get comfortable with the old tools that I had and trying to use them to fix new problems. The old tools that were easy to use, I know how to use them, but I'm trying to use them to fix new problems that I've never faced before. Right. And one of the things I'm learning that as we grow, not just emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, our challenges, they evolve and they grow as well too. And the tools we use need to keep evolving with that.

Right. Let me know in the chat, let me know in the comments if any of you ever catch yourself trying to tie in old tools to your new problems. Right. That thing that worked when I quit using drugs or I stopped using alcohol or to get rid of that old friend group, whether it's distance or building a wall around my emotions, my feelings and you know, that worked back then, but it's not working now. If I'm being honest, one of my situations, for me, I think I talked about it last week, if I'm being honest, is it was avoiding the hard conversations.

You know, growing up, we never had them, never had the hard conversations in life. And it doesn't always feel good. New tools that I'm learning and. Right. I might have been using a Hand, scoop, driver back then, you know, for dealing with my emotions and feelings. Now we need a power drill because things are getting deep and things are getting real, right? So for my emotional tools, I'm starting to reach out more and have those conversations and talk about it, right. I don't know if anyone else can relate, but these are just real life things that I go through.

And I don't know about you guys, but I've come from a dark side of life and I have a lot of ex gang bangers, drug like drug users, and a bunch of hardcore people that are in recovery that are healing as well. And I've been reaching out to them, like, hey, look, bro, like, this is a weird conversation for me to have. I'm not used to having it, but like, I don't think I was the best friend because I didn't let you in. I've been hiding things from me. Not necessarily. No, I'm going to call it what it is.

I've been hiding things, right? As far as how I truly feel my emotions and open that, opening that portion of my life and heart up to people, right? Being vulnerable. So the tools that I'm doubling down on is the communication, the vulnerability, the regulating of the emotions, right? The strength that, that silence strength that got me through prison, addiction and early recovery, it doesn't build intimacy. It keeps me safe from those things. It was a safeguard, but it's not going to help me build intimacy.

So those are some of the emotional tools now, the mental tools. Here, I got a list. Because I'm a space brain, sometimes we're in a coffee shop. So, like my eyes are like all over the place. Some of the mental tools, you know, for me is taking on different perspectives, right? I keep looking at my friendships in my life from one point of view, from mine, how to protect me and keep me safe, which is totally fine. But there's layers to that. I have to switch and adapt and look at my friendships from the lens of the person that's trying to be my friend, that is trying to get close to me, that values me, loves me and cares about me.

They want the best for me. And they're thinking and plot. How do we get close to this person without pushing him away, right? And I have to, I have to take that on, right? That new perspective, right? And also the self awareness is being a self and labeling it. There's things that I have to just label, like, hey, this is who I am. This is what I've been through. This is where I'm at because if I don't label it and I can't attack it and defeat it, right? And I have to be willing to just open up about my old beliefs, like, hey, this is what worked back then.

It's not going to work now. Time to hit the chalkboard, right. I can't enter that new level, you know, with last season's playbook, right. Same game, different level, different team. Right. So perspectives, self awareness and being willing to look at my old beliefs and habits and tools and get new ones. Right? So physical tools for me, brief overview of a rest, recovery, movement. Rest, recovery, movement, self care. Right. I got really good at the movement part. Not so good at the rest part because I'm one of those people, I go, go, go, go, go, you know?

But rest happens when I'm sleeping. So if I don't get that full eight hours of sleep, probably not. That's when muscles grow, right. I'm not going to be my full self. So when I'm in that gr. In that grind season and I'm getting five, four and a half, six hours of sleep, whatever it is, those hours of sleep, I'm taking them from somewhere essentially, right? So that's something. I'm prioritizing the rest, the recovery part, actually taking a day, maybe a day and a half out of the week to prioritize doing absolutely nothing or picking up that book or journaling.

And these are things that I do, but they become more of a task and I've gotten complacent over them where I have to kick it up here. I have to either double down on them or do it a different way, right? So same. Some of the same tools. We have to upgrade them. Okay. I've been journaling about this one topic, these one few topics. We have to switch. Journal about these other ones or from a different perspective, right? Because we. I, I don't know about you guys, but I like routine. But some routines get played out.

We need to rejuvenate them all. Right? And then the spiritual tools for me. Let me look at my notes here. So for mine, oh, those are easy. Prayer, meditation, scripture. But the hardest one for me is being still. Being still. It's so hard for. To be still because I have. There's always something going on, right? And it's usually good things going on in the community. You know, social aspect, community aspect, you know, gym. There's always something to the point where it's. I have so much going on that it was.

I didn't have any time for stillness. I didn't have any time to self reflect throughout the week and worry about the things that I need to work on. I've been so much stuck in this grind mode that I didn't have the time to stop and look around at my friendships, to worry about how they're, how they're doing, but also how they are with how they're experiencing our friendship. Right? It's like me, I'm so busy, I'm like, oh, they know I'm busy. But like, do they really or do they see it as you don't care about them?

Right. So that's what this all is kind of spawning from is from getting in that grind mode, overlooking my friendships and not wanting to deal with the fact that I have been putting time and effort into the current friendships I have and open up to them in the way that they deserve. Right. That new level intimacy with friends. If you're still joining Anime, welcome, welcome. So those are some of this just to catch you up a little bit. I went over the emotional tools that I do that I'm upgrading.

Emotional, mental, mental, physical and spiritual tools. The old tools that were working when I first got into recovery, out of addiction, out of jail, that mindset, they don't work as effectively now. Some of them don't work at all, right? Specifically that distance. And a lot of the tools just need some. They need some upgrading, right? Instead of that screwdriver that we're using before, we need a power drill now, right? And I look at it, I was on the drive here this morning to this coffee shop thinking, okay, if I was building a house, that shovel I used to dig, the foundation is not going to be the same tool I need to install.

The windows in our life, our growth, our development, our healing is the same thing. That distance that we took away from negative or toxic people or negative behaviors, places and locations, locations, that distance and avoidance, it was good at that time. But that's not going to be good when it comes to the time when we have real friends trying to create an intimate emotional relationship with us. That avoidance, that. That distance is going to be more hindering than anything. And I literally just learned that the hard way.

I peeled back that layer of the onion last week and it made me want to cry. But it's a new season to grow, right? I'm glad I'm people that can sit me down and we can have those conversations. So, new tools. I challenge you to look at the tools that works when you tackle that hard thing, whether it doesn't have to be addiction, it doesn't have to be alcoholism or jail or any things I've been through, but maybe it was in abusive situation, a mental health crisis, a situation at work, whatever. It.

There's tools that got you through that and out of survival. It's like, now that you've healed from that, if you've healed from that, what tools do I need to double down on to upgrade? Because some of those tools, they saved us at one point, but now it's time to pick up a new tool or revamp that tool. Because as we level up, our tools do as well too. I thought I was the best communicator in the world and I was super vulnerable. And what I realized this last couple weeks, like, yeah, you're great at all that, but there's a new level that you haven't touched down on.

And it's going to hurt. It's going to be sad, but it's going to be joyful. It's going to be happy. But you have to put in the work and use your new tools to get through it. And that's my topic of this week. So I challenge you, identify the tools that work during that hard time, if they're still working now, and what you can do better. We're always looking for new tools, new areas to grow and develop, new new areas to build it. There's always something. That's what I like about this whole healing journey and self development.

There is always something. The journey is never over, right? It's never over. So for me, I'm learning to speak up. I'm learning to let people in. I'm learning to build relationships in real time, not wait for everything to be solved to talk about it, right? Because that was comfortable for me. I can talk all day in front of on stage, in front of a group of a thousand people about the things that I went through. What about the things that are going on right now? Why am I so quiet about that? Because it's uncomfortable when it's a new level.

So that's my vulnerability for the week. It's uncomfortable, but uncomfortable is where the growth happens. I've never grown comfortable, so I'm excited for it. If you guys are on the same journey, I'm excited for you. And wherever you're at in your healing journey, have a good week. Let's stay grounded. Let's stay growing. Let's stay honest with ourselves. It's Monday and let's move with intention. Let's move with intention. It's Monday and we got motion. We're already up. We got love in our hearts and our lung Air in our lungs let's get after the day.

So have a great week. I'll see you guys next Monday.