Leading With 💕

Hello, Cadre Sphere. Anila here and I want to talk to you about our year end reflection. My gosh, it is already December. How the year has flown. It's been a wild one. I am a key voice here in the Cadre sphere, hoping to share my personal journey of growth and transition and transformation and choosing to lead with love with you as I believe love is the answer to whatever ails us. Hello, junk food junkie. I hope I'm pronouncing that right. Welcome, welcome, welcome. We are in the start of December.

Hello, Andrea. Or Andrea. Always hard to know a pronunciation. Good evening. Good evening. I am here tonight wearing my Keith Haring love pajamas. I don't know why, but by 8:00 clock on Thursday I am spending bent. I am ready for bed. And so. But I enjoy these, these moments with you because it's a beautiful way for me to reflect on the, the day and share a little bit of whatever piece of wisdom comes to me in the moment and. One second. My son is in the shower. I'll be right back. Stay with me.

This is the other part about doing this when it's bedtime. One second. Yes, what? Can I use that bar? A little bit of that stuff up there. Okay, sorry. Probably lost you all with that one. My 8 year old needs direction on which soaps to use and which shampoos to use. And I am sharing how I'm ready for bed. I noticed that a lot of the other folks that do Cadre videos like get decked out and you know, have good lighting and all this stuff and I promise one day I'll get there. But part of the reason I don't do that is because I want to show you real life.

I want to show you like as much as we all have it together, you know, I just want to be in my pajamas. I'm sure you do too. And I think it's good to see all of those different sides of people. Right? So you get. Yes, 100%. He was asking, He was absolutely checking to make sure he was doing the right thing. And the shampoo was a little bit higher up. Usually we bring it down so he can reach it. So he was, he was doing exactly what he needed to do. Asking for help. Right. They're right. There is another lesson from these kiddos of ours, I think.

You know, I don't like calling them my kids or our kids or even though I just did, I don't like to. It's just habit because that's sort of how we've been grown up. That language. But I truly believe they're a gift. I truly believe that we were put together for a reason, that they are teachers. My two sons are my teachers. My two sons are here to help me see things within myself that may be holding me back. And also things in myself that I need to focus on and grow and harness so that I can be who I'm meant to be and vice versa.

Right. Where as parents, we're meant to teach them about the world, teach them ways to think, we teach them how to think, not what to think, how to believe, how to trust in themselves, etc. And together it's just a beautiful combination when you think of it that way, that we're both here to learn. Right. So this idea of he's just wanting to make sure he's doing the right thing, he wants that little support and I want to be there for him. Kids are the Future. Yep, that's 100% true. I actually, I actually got the opportunity to speak at.

It was called the Inspire Conference at the University of Minnesota a few weeks back and it was a room full of 200 high schoolers. And I got to share my story of, you know, managing a mental health condition called trichotillomania, which is the compulsion to pull out hair. And how that pain led to the purpose of starting the company that I run called Habitaware, helping people take control of those conditions. And I went through my whole journey, right, losing my dad when I was in high school, hiding this pair pulling condition because I was so ashamed, sharing that condition later on in life, coming up with this idea and making it happen and helping others and some of the lessons along the way.

And at the end I really, you know, when I speak sometimes I have my script and I know what I want to say. But toward the end I was just like, I am here today because I want to inspire you to find your purpose, to find, choose your pain, find your purpose in it, don't run from it. And exactly that junk food junkie that we need these kids that are in high school who have already raised their hand saying, I'm interested in medicine, I'm interested in technology. And that's why they were at this conference that at that young age that they know what they are interested in to, to harness that and to start solving problems now because, oh my gosh, we got so many of them.

So, yeah, this idea of leading with love and. Hi, Brianna, I'm just seeing your name come up here, can't go back. So I'm not sure if Anyone else? And hi, El Mar. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to eight o'. Clock. With Anila leading with love. I am prepping for bed wearing my love pajamas and my neck warmer that my son made in kindergarten. He sewed the. I don't know if you can see this here. This is, like, one of the activities they do is they sew. And I'm wearing it because my house is freezing. My husband likes it cold, and I like it, like, as if I was living in Miami.

So I have to wear lots of layers so that I can feel like I'm in Miami. And that's how I lead with love because it's easier for him to be. To use the temperature gauge to make the temperature cool. And for me, I can just add another layer. And I can hear my sweet child calling again for some help in the shower. So let's go check on him. You obviously won't see that, but I don't know what he's doing. He's ready. You can just leave that. I relax a tiny bit. I'll fix it at the end when it stopped. So at the beginning, it was like this.

He's the sweetie guy. Sweetest. Yes. So at the beginning, like, it was pouring down right then. Always has a story. Yeah, I short it. And one more that. Yeah, it's gonna move a little bit as the water pressure changes. Yeah. Will you hold that? It's gonna fall. Okay. All right. He is the sweetest. Sweetest, sweetest, sweetest. He wants to know who I'm talking to. He doesn't remember. He joins me sometimes on these. He's probably. He's probably gonna be mad. I'm on my Cadre. Yes. He wants to do the right thing because of our teaching, our examples.

It's exactly right. It is. I'm trying to teach him to lead with love. I'm trying to teach him to lead with his heart, to lead with what he thinks is right. And that was kind of hard because it took me like, 20 tries to say, hey, you got a shower today? Why don't these kids like to shower? I don't know, but it is the right thing to do. So as we wrap up the first week of December, we're almost into the next year. Think about, who are your teachers? Who have been your teachers this year? Has it been your kids?

Has it been your boss? Has it been a younger employee? Has it been the person at the grocery store checkout today? I was at a coffee shop, and it was a caribou. And, you know, the person behind the register I saw her ask someone, what's your rewards number? Took it, then came in one more person. She asked, what's your rewards number? The person said, not today. And then after the transaction was done, the person was like, wait, can I give you my rewards number? And she was like, I'm sorry, I can't now that the transaction is complete.

And she was so beautiful. That person was kind of annoyed. The customer was annoyed that that happened. And she was like, I'm very sorry. I thought you said, no, I'm very sorry. The cash register, cashier, like, stayed so calm throughout that whole exchange. And then someone else came over from the Caribou and was like, oh, don't worry, you know, here's your receipt. You can just go into the app and do it. And the person was still annoyed. But they both, those two folks at Caribou just maintained their composure, apologized multiple times.

And that was a teaching moment too, right? How to stay calm when other people are screaming at you or upset with you or, you know, passing judgment on you. How do you stay true to yourself, which is leading with love. Still leading with love. And at the end of the day, I, you know, in that moment, I didn't say anything to them, but as I was leaving, I said thank you to them for just being there. And so, yeah, you can find teaching moments in so many different places if you just keep your eyes open.

And you can be a teacher in so many ways if you keep your heart open. So I'll leave you with that. Reflect on who's been a guide to you this last year. Maybe send them a message of thanks or give them a big, tight hug the next time you see them. You make me laugh, and I'm wishing you love, strength, and awareness. Have a beautiful night. The bite.