Pause & Appreciate: A 5-Minute Reset

Good morning. Good morning, everyone. In Cadre world, I am Dr. Jessica Green. And today we're going to talk about mental health and we are going to focus on personal growth. But I want to tell you one thing. If you listened to Luke's live this morning when he was focusing on day pep rally this morning, because he was live this morning and he wanted to make sure. Good morning. Good morning. Everybody was ready to go. Everyone, good morning. Remembered their purpose, remember their passion, their focus.

So, Luke, thank you so much because I know several of us needed that this Wednesday morning, but especially me, to be able to reset, be able to refocus. Because when your passion and your purpose meets, it can be a beautiful thing. So when we talk about beautiful things, I want to focus on the importance of savoring the moment. But before we talk about savoring the moment, moving and transitioning into fall. Good morning, Jules. Has been beautiful. I tell you what, last night, the humidity was not high.

It was felt like a crisp autumn evening. And I am here in sunny Myrtle beach. And the humidity can be very powerful at times. Three weeks ago, I felt as if it was so hot, but now you can feel that transition into fall and the time is going to change really soon. So again, we have to reset for that. Good morning, Michelle. But this morning, it was not too shabby. So I am definitely happy for that. Yes, like Michelle said, it has been beautiful. The weather has been beautiful. It's given many of us opportunity to be able to have lunch, even dinner, sitting outside.

So we cannot complain about that weather. And from this morning, it looks like Luke was enjoying the weather where he was. Where he was as well. So again, for today's content, we are focusing on savoring the moment. All right, we're going to take a look at those simple but powerful practices and things that we can focus on to allow ourselves to hit that pause button and show that appreciation. Savoring those moments. Because many of us wear those hats where we're a caregiver or parent, we work full time, and sometimes it's hard to savor those moments.

So when we think about what savoring is. Yes, Speak, wonder. It's about a moment to pause and a moment to ask ourselves that intrinsic motivation. What am I appreciating right now? What am I appreciating right now in this moment? Because when we think about our brains, right, Our brains are wired to focus on those problems, you know, those negative things that occur. We tend to catastrophize where we're taking one small situation A scenario, and we're creating an entire movie. But we're also thinking worst case scenario.

We're focused on what's wrong, but not what about. Not about what needs to be managed. And I hate to use the word fix, because in life we learn how to manage them. You know, we may say we fix them, but we're learning and thinking, okay, what can I do to make this work? So it's not fixing, it's learning how to manage. Okay, so not fix, but manage. So when we think about managing in the saving the moment, you know, this can keep us in a constant cycle of stress when we're not saving in the moment, but then it tends to allow.

We think about savoring again. If we define savoring and take a deeper dive, it's the practice of slowing down and noticing and appreciating the good, no matter how small it may be. And when we think about research, research shows that savoring not only boosts happiness because it allows us to be in that moment, but it also reduces that anxiety and it builds that. Resist the resilience. Okay, so we're decreasing that anxiety. We're focused on what will happen, not what may happen, but it builds that resilience because it allows us to be courageous.

You know, sometimes in those moments, we have to build those connections with people, but then it builds that resilience because we have to have that compassion, understanding what others are going through. So I want you to think of savoring the moment. Like building. We'll say a muscle for joy. All right? And I think about a muscle for joy because this morning I was on that walking pad for at least 30 minutes. And I tell you what, it almost got the best of me, but it didn't. So I want you to think about building a muscle for joy.

You train your mind to spot the good instead of always scanning for the negative. And those of you who have joined me before, we talk about Brene Brown's term dress rehearsing tragedy, where it's like, oh, my gosh, I want to be in that moment. I want to feel that joy. I want to feel that excitement. But then our brain allows us to focus on the negative that could happen. You know, for example, I'll, you know, put my child down for the night. I'm thinking, what could happen? You know, they could roll over.

This could happen. That can happen. As opposed to thinking about my child sleeping peacefully, Some of my parents, your kids are going to school. Instead of savoring that moment where they're entering School, they're excited. It's going to be an amazing year. We dress for her as tragedy, where we think about what could go wrong. My parents, again, who just sent their student either back to college, or that freshman who's enjoying that, that moment of college. You know, we dress, rehearse tragedy, thinking worst case scenario, what could happen, as opposed to saying, hey, you know what?

We were made for this moment. We allowed it to happen. We knew it was coming, but we had to be excited. But we dress rehearsed tragedy, thinking worst case scenario. So when we think about savoring the moment, and I call it the savoring check in. And with the savoring check in, it is pretty simple. So right now I want you to ask yourself, what am I appreciating in this moment and what you're appreciating in this moment. It does not have to be big. You know, it could be, you know, that morning coffee.

And for me, it is that, that morning coffee that I have. You know, it could be a text from a friend, and it can even be a feeling of just sitting still for that moment. Maybe in the morning, you have that extra 30 minutes before everybody wakes up and needs a piece of you. So you take that 30 minutes to listen to a podcast, to read a book, to drink at your coffee, you know, outside on your patio or outside on your deck, but you're allowing yourself to be in that moment. And when you're in that moment, something that I want you to remember to do, I need you to remember to pause, I need you to remember to breathe, but then also let yourself feel the appreciation so it actually registers in your nervous system and we feel it.

You know, it's not just a movement that we do, but it's a moment. It's a moment where we feel that intrinsic motivation. So here are a few ways and some best practices that we can iterate. Savoring the moment. Check inside into your to your regular daily routines. Okay, so the first is that morning reset. So before you check your phone, all right, before you check your phone, I want you to notice one thing you appreciate about the new day. And we can actually do this in a moment of journaling or even, you know, notes section on your cell phone or writing this down on sticky notes.

All right, So I want you to think about, I am so excited for the day because so this builds that momentum for the day, and we're excited about what we have coming up. And it could even be with your spouse or your children, you know, when they wake Up. I want you to ask them two things. What percent are you on today? And then what do you need from me that allows us to know where they are that morning? And then what do you need from me so you can be your best self? Now, when we talk about bedtime, reflection or even when we get home, this is something you can also do as well.

You know, when they come home, what percent are you on and what is it that you need from me? And in that moment, this allows us not to become innocent bystanders. You know, we get hit about, you know, work was horrible. School, it was not a great day. They come home, we ask them how their day was, and they're like, oh, my gosh, today was a horrible day. Let me tell you. Or I don't want to talk about it. Hey, what we're sitting you on? And what do you need from me today so that allows to recognize, number one, when they come home, do they need some me time just for them?

And then, number two, hey, if they need that break, knowing it's okay, it's nothing that we did. But in order for us to get the best of them, they need that moment to be able to reset. So let's talk about meal moments. All right, so what I want you to think about is pausing before eating and appreciate what we're eating. The food, we appreciate the company, and even those quiet moments. So one best practice that we can utilize again at mealtime. I call it two roses and a thorn. So everyone goes around and we talk about two positive things that happened that day, and then maybe one thorn.

And as we talk and we have that discussion, we allow ourselves to savor the moment, talk about those positive things that happened that day. And then whenever that individual talks about that thorn, we think about ways we can turn that thorn back into a rose. Jewel, she says, I asked my kids to tell me three things that were positive. Absolutely. And in the meantime, after school becomes lifelong skill and also life hack. Absolutely. Absolutely. So when we think about bedtime reflection, I want you to ask yourself, what did I savor today?

Before falling to sleep, what did I savor today? Also, it could look like this. When journaling again, writing down five positive things that happened that day. Our days may seem as if everything is going wrong, right? But I want you to think about five positive things that happened today. So even if we think about yesterday, Right. So yesterday was Tuesday. Thinking about five positive things that happened. You know, I was able. I attended a meeting. I had lunch with. With a great friend. I purchased some Items for a football tailgate.

I was able to see some clients and I had a wonderful dinner and was able to have great conversations with my mom, you know, so those were even six things. And all I want you to do is just be able to name five, five positive things that happened today. And we do that before we go to bed. We tuck our kids in. We can do that with them before we tell them good night. But we are thinking about those five positive things that happened that day. And as we think about these moments, you know, they may be small moments, but there are small moments of awareness that create that big, those big shifts over time.

The importance of communication with our kids, with our spouses. Because as we know growing up, it's tough, you know, so it allows them to communicate with us and they may have those critical and crucial conversations that they need to have with us. But through this daily communication, it reduces that sense of fear or sense of judgment with them and parents. When we have those moments and they tell us things that either anger us or increases our anxiety, it's important that we don't show it. You know, we feel it inside.

But we continue to ask those open ended questions and not those closed ended questions because what we don't want to happen is we didn't savor that moment. So they go to someone else asking the same question, but guess what? They didn't get the best advice and they go off what that person tells them as opposed to them being able to reach out to us. Michelle? Yes. Put this in that daily journal as a reminder to do this, to be able to savor the moment. So as we close, this is my challenge for you.

I want you to do one savoring check in daily. Again, I want you to pause, I want you to breathe. But then I also want you to name what you are appreciating right now. And you will be surprised how quickly this shifts your mood. It gives you that sense of gratitude, makes you excited for that day, knowing what percent you were on and what you need from others so you can continue to be the best of you and have that personal growth. All right. Because when we think about personal growth, personal growth isn't always about doing more things.

Sometimes it's about noticing what is already here in the moment. So I thank you all for listening. And until next time, I want you to keep checking in with yourself, saving the moment, but then also savoring the good. As always, continue to build connections, continue to have compassion, continue to connect with others, be courageous and then also be true to yourself. Have a fantastic Wednesday. And also remember, there are lives and content available on Cadre, so if you search Jessica Green, you will be able to find recorded content, live content, and some additional information.

So until next time, have a wonderful Wednesday and I will see you soon. Speak Wonder. She has a little book titled Sleeping with Bread. It suggests we discuss a name 1 conciliation and dissolution from the Day so the family can help the child talk through both the good and the not so good. Absolutely. Those roses and those thorns. Thank you, Speak Wonder, for that great insight and that best practice. And again, that book is called Sleeping with Bread. Sleeping With Bright. Have a wonderful Wednesday and I will see you next Wednesday as we continue to focus on personal growth and mental wellness.