Live with Dr.Charryse 🧠: “Addition by Subtraction”

Good morning, Khadra Sphere. It is Wednesday. I'm proud of myself for actually knowing what time of what day of the week it is, because I'm gonna be honest, yesterday I was talking, I could not remember. So I'm heading in the right direction. I hope your week is also heading in the right direction. Welcome to another moment, another opportunity for us to connect together and for you to stop and check in. This is your first time here. I'm Doctor Charryse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner, and author.

And I come to you typically on Wednesdays and Fridays so we can get into all things. Life, grief, what you're going through, all the different dynamics, but most importantly, so that you can work towards having harmony in your life if you're willing to do the work. Most of you have already noticed. Hello, Jules. That I am not in the same place. So I'm excited. Good morning, Sherindria. To be repping a new city today, a new state. I'm currently in New Jersey, so start two ways for me. One, let me know where you are in the world.

It's always just an exciting and beautiful dynamic of us being together. Good morning, Audrey. And then let's rate your week. One, your week has been rough in the dirt struggle. Bus ten, you're having the most fantastic week of your entire life. This also helps me keep a good point pulse on all of you. What you're feeling and everything that you're experiencing. And that's important to me in a very quick way. Let me turn my light back on. Sorry about that. So thank you. Fire outfit. It's a lot of tan.

I was like, oh, if I would have thought about that, I actually would wear a color, but I appreciate that. Oh, my light just doesn't want to stay on. Hold on. It might be out of battery. There we go. So, that being said, I want to rate my week as well. Say my week is a solid nine. It has been a fabulous, fantastic week. Good morning, Virginia. Good morning, South Carolina. And I'm very grateful for everything that I have been able to experience this week and heading back home today, and it'll be wonderful.

That being said, as you continue to rate your week and share. Hello, northern Minnesota. Let's get into it. You've heard me talk about wanting to make sure that we are focused on seasonal shifts and changes. So the first question I have for you today to reflect on, and this is an invitation for you to share in the chat, is how is your energy and capacity right now? What's the difference energy just means are you waking up? Are you feeling ready to go? When you wake up, do you feel like you can be as productive as you want to be during your day?

Capacity means how much you feel like you can mentally handle. So how is your energy and your capacity in this current season? Now, this may not be true for everyone, but we typically see that our energy and our capacity shifts with the seasons. We have a different level of energy and capacity at the beginning of the year when we want to set all of these new, what are they called? At the beginning of the resolutions, then that shift a little bit to the spring, summer, we want to kind of dial down, and you might find that right now you're kind of struggling to get things done.

Once you're in your in, you don't want to be back out. You may also find that you don't feel like you have the same capacity to handle things, that your tolerance level is lower. But let me know what you're noticing, because some people find that this is actually a time that things begin to increase. Let's also add Joycelyn. Thank you. I was actually going there, and I'm so sorry that you still have to work even though you're sick and you're exhausted. This is also a time that, because we've run so hard and done so much earlier in the year, we find that our immune system is different.

There are a lot of people that are finding that they're sick, and when we don't feel physically well, that impacts us mentally. You may even find that the season's changing, things starting to bloom. Different trees is messing with your allergies. All of those things matter. So while you may not think it's important to your mental aspect, remember that we're integrated, so our physical health and our mental health are always going to be connected in a certain way. And when we're in a season that's different, and I'm just going to use the word different because your season is going to be unique to you.

Here's a concept that I believe can have great value for you. So I want you to consider addition by subtraction, and I want you to think about that. And before I share you, tell me what comes to mind when I say that even if it's I'm thinking of elementary math and not liking things addition by subtraction, I want you to consider that a specific skill and tool that you can use to help you navigate whatever season of life that you're in. Well, Maria, no need to apologize for being tardy. There's no tardy.

The party doesn't start until you're here. So whenever you arrive is when you need to be here. When we remove things from our life that we do not want or things that are no longer useful, we make more room for the things in life that we do want, that we do need, or we do want to develop. It's not ideal or sustainable to think that we're always going to operate here every single day. We have to make adjustments. We have to look at what needs to be added and where do we need to subtract things off of our plate.

Now, even though when I usually say addition by subtraction, people typically just think of task, I want you to take it a little bit deeper. If you have a piece of paper, create four columns, I'm going to give you four columns. You won't write in them yet, but then I'm going to give you a set of questions or areas to consider. The four columns are relational, financial, and emotional. And why I'm breaking it up for you is that certain areas are going to bring a greater amount of energy and capacity.

When we add and subtract, sometimes we think, oh, I just need to take something off of my plate. We say no to something. And then we wondered, why don't I feel like I have more energy? Why don't I feel like I have more capacity? Because perhaps you didn't actually use addition by subtraction in the right area. So I want you to kind of be able to break it down to what does it mean to do addition by subtraction? Relationally, what does it mean financially, vocational, emotionally? I'll give you an example for myself or relationally, by the nature of life and the work that I do, I constantly have people who are like, let's meet for coffee, let's meet for coffee, let's meet for lunch, let's meet for coffee.

If I followed through with every person who wants to meet for coffee or for lunch, I would have zero downtime because it would require me to use up every single ounce of lunchtime or spare time that I have in order to get it all in. And that's not sustainable for my capacity. So I personally made a decision and told the people in my life that for the remainder of the year, I will not be taking any more networking events that aren't already a part of something that I've already, I'm already doing, because I know that this is the time of year where my energy and capacity is lower.

So I have to tend the energy and capacity that I have greater. And you might think, oh, my gosh, I can't believe you did that. That's so harsh. Everybody was fine and was like, wow, that's a really great idea. Now, if they want to talk on the phone and have a phone call that I can still do sitting in a chair, wrapped in a blanket while resting my body, I'm open to that. But what I'm not open to is trying to run in the streets and constantly be on the go to meet the needs of someone else at the expense of myself.

So that was a way that I added energy and capacity back to my life by subtracting the part of me that feels like, well, if somebody reaches out, you need to make sure that you respond to them because you don't want them to think about you a certain way. They're going to think whatever way that they want to think. No matter what I do, what's most important is what I think of myself and that I'm able to lay down at the end of the day and feel like today was balanced and I have enough energy to get back up tomorrow and do the things that are important to me.

So in those four categories, here are five things that I want you to consider as you think of addition by subtraction. Where could you utilize addition by subtraction? And how would it help you improve efficiency? So it's not always just about tasks, but it's also looking at, are you doing things in a manner that is inefficient or less efficient than it could be? Maybe this means you're doing too much for other people, and as a result of that, it is making you less efficient in the time that you have for yourself.

Second thing, where could addition by subtraction help you eliminate certain elements of your life and certain processes in your life? And this may fit a little bit more under financial or vocational. We can get very stuck in. This is the way that I've always done things. But just because it's the way that you've always done things doesn't mean it's what's best for you right now. If your mental capacity is different, then your cognitive capacity, your ability to focus attention to tasks is going to look different.

So maybe there's a different system, a different process that you want to put in place as you head into fall. I'll give you another example. My rhythm in my morning looks different in the fall than it does earlier in the year. My body needs more rest, so I'm not getting up as early as I naturally do, January through July. And so I work with that shift. I roll with it, and I adjust things down, and I subtract some parts of my morning that aren't absolutely necessary so that I can get more rest, but still keep the things that make me feel grounded and help me navigate through my day.

So improve efficiency, eliminate certain elements and processes. Where would addition by subtraction help you remove what's toxic or who's toxic and unnecessary? Side question, two of them. What are you currently doing that is unnecessary and what is currently subtracting value from your life? You could even say, who or what is currently subtracting value from your life. Because sometimes addition by subtraction means that we need space from people who are draining us. They can be a great person, but too much.

Two more things to consider in your four categories. What mindsets and perspectives need to be added? Where do you need to focus your work? Do you notice that you're in a season of complacency? Do you notice you're in a season of self doubt? Do you notice that you have little focus or motivation or goals? And if that's you, for example, what mindsets and perspectives can you work on adding to your life so that you kind of re energize and don't necessarily spend this season spinning your wheels? Now, let me say this before I kind of give you the fifth one.

I am in no way encouraging you to feel like this needs to be the time of year where you work as hard as possible. I personally and professionally don't believe in all of the things that you see that will say, there's only four months left in the year. There's only three months left in the year. What are you gonna do? Make it as hard and as great as you can. I mean, you can if you want to, but that's not how our circadian rhythm is wired. There's a reason seasons change. There's a reason it gets colder and darker, because this is the time that we're made to draw in and draw deep.

The fifth one, where are you adding pressure because you haven't marked the right things off of your listen. So where are you adding pressure to your life because you have not subtracted the right things? Because we do a really good job of, oh, I'll do this and I'll do that, or I won't do this. But it's actually not the things that you need to address. This could be social media. Social media you could put under relational, you could even put it under emotional. Maybe it's a space that at one season of your life, it added value.

It's okay if you're currently in a season that you realize that's now subtracting value from my life. And so in order to regain some of that head space, that's an area where you need to subtract so that you can add that energy back into your life in a different way. You all know I love trees. I love that this is the time of year that trees know. It's time for them to change. That is one of the coolest things about trees. They know when to be green. They know when to turn colors. They know when their leaves need to fall.

They know when to be bare. But in every one of those seasons, some things are happening, and they don't resist it. They know this is just what I do, and it's actually what makes them beautiful and wonderful. It's what nourishes them. They're preparing to go deeper, as they do in the winter, so that they can get deeper into the root of things and find the nourishment that they need. Addition by subtraction not only allows you to kind of energetically refuel and to really manage your mental capacity, it's also an extremely powerful way of you going, what else has kind of come up from the root and come to the surface that I've kind of been pushing off and I've been moving around, but not really dealing with or working through.

And so I want you to consider this season to be something that is very important in terms of pace, in terms of how you care for yourself, finding that delicate balance between rest and productivity. But most importantly, I want you, over the next week, invitation always to really consider where can you use addition by subtraction as a tangible way to create more harmony in your life. Some of you may be unfamiliar with this. Notice that I don't say balance, because balance isn't real. That's not real.

You know, if you do more here, less is gonna be done there. Then you feel bad, and you go back and forth like whack a mole. Harmony means that everything is playing well together, so there's enough of the right sound and movement at the right time in the right season that it sounds beautiful, and it feels good, and it resonates well. So really think, where can addition by subtraction be incorporated in your life to bring about a greater sense of harmony and help you maintain the energy and the capacity that you have, not only for today, but for all the weeks ahead.

Also, keep in mind, you may have felt like, oh, this is so good. But if you don't do anything with it, it will be ineffective in just something else that you heard. Knowledge is not power without application. So maybe choose one specific way. It doesn't have to be in every area. Maybe your work to start is just that. You answer these questions in each area and then next week you look at where you can put these things in place. But remember, Harmony doesn't exist if you don't do the work. And you're worth it.

And I want you to live life well. I want you to live well, I want you to love well, and I want you to play well. As always, I'm glad that you chose to be here with me today. I love being here with you and sharing and hope that you heard something that will encourage you and give you something tangible that you can use in your life. And I look forward to connecting with all of you who are with me on Fridays as well. Have a phenomenal, phenomenal rest of the week. Talk to you soon.