Are you feeling lost in grief? Find safety and comfort in repetition!
Roshni Kavate and Rebecca Sarvas talk about the power of repetitive rituals. What are these repetitive rituals mean? And how can they offer a sense of comfort when we feel lost?
A ritual is an action that we use to kind of mark a sense of time, a period of transition. In grief, there's asense of untetheredness. tapping into a repetitive ritual gives you back that sense of predictability. We would love to hear what type of actions you have found helpful with grief.
Do you have a favorite mug for drinking your coffee? Or you grind your coffee a certain way, you make your bed a certain way in the morning. Maybe you have the same sandwich over and over every day for lunch. Maybe you have a favorite blue shirt that you wear on every Friday. What are these repetitive rituals mean? And how can they offer a sense of comfort when we feel lost? Hi, my name is Roshni Kavate. I'm the founder of Marigold. Hi. And I'm Rebecca Sarvas, co founder of Marigold. We're a grief wellness platform rooted in culture, rituals, and storytelling.
And today we're going to be talking about the power of repetitive rituals. So, Rebecca, maybe you can just start us off with, what does a ritual mean? And then we can talk about why repetitive rituals are so comforting. A ritual is an action that we use to kind of mark a sense of time, a period of transition or something that we do with a sense of frequency from day to day, month to month, year to year. It's something that we take time to create an intentional space. I find rituals to be really comforting because especially in times of grief.
In grief, there's a sense of untetheredness. Like, you don't really have a sense of time just sort of flows. You don't know what day it is. You know, days melt into each other. You don't know really where you are, even in the season. So it can be a very cloudy time, and it feels like life is passing you by, and you're just, you know, sort of waking up and going, where am I? What am I doing today? So repetitive rituals can offer you that anchor and that sense of repetition and also reliability. Remember, when we're going through grief, life feels very uncertain and that we have the sense that we can't count on things, right.
We may have lost trust because we've lost a big dream or lost someone. So our whole life and that sense of trust is shaken up. So things may seem really unpredictable. And what is really comforting to our body and our mind is that sense of repetition. You know, it's like waking up and knowing, okay, I'm gonna eat peanut butter and jelly for toast. I'm going to take a shower, put on this lotion, make my bed this way, have my morning coffee or tea, you know, make it specifically how I need it. And that helps our brain know, you know, what's coming up, what's next, what to expect.
So it lowers our anxiety and gives us a sense of control when control is very tricky in life. Exactly. It's so easy, when you're grieving, to just feel like you're kind of out in the ocean. There's nothing grounding you, and you don't know what's coming up next. And like you said, roshani, it kind of skews the sense of time. You know, we often, in grief, we're stuck a lot in the past, and the future feels so uncertain and often so devastating. So tapping into a repetitive ritual gives you back that sense of predictability, which is really important for our nervous system, to allow us to feel grounded and not so untethered.
So one of the repetitive rituals that we would like to encourage you to tap into is, you know, upon waking, like, what is your go to drink? Do you drink tea, coffee? Can you spend a moment with that drink and kind of create a ritual with it? Can you do. Can you prepare it the same every day? Can you say a couple words while you're stirring your coffee or your tea to kind of bring you back into your body? What are some other rituals, Roshni, that you use in a repetitive way? For me, I like to start my day with just a little bit of movement.
Maybe it's dance, some yoga. It depends on the day. And just even five minutes of it, I can, you know, wake up. I'm feeling, you know, usually stiff or tired. But once I do that and I'm breathing deeply and moving my muscles and stretching, suddenly I'm, you know, here I'm present. I'm able to think about, okay, I am in this space. This is what my day is going to feel and look like instead of, you know, feeling distracted when I wake up. So it's a really nice way to just awaken and come into your body.
Yeah. And another thing that you can use as a repetitive ritual is playing a song. You know, sometimes getting through these really difficult moments in grief, everything can feel so ethereal and tapping into our senses and those kind of desires that come up in our body. Maybe you just really want to hear this song. It feels very beautiful and comforting to you, playing that song every day or every evening. You know, when a transition feels difficult to you, that can really bring you back into your senses, which helps you tap into your body, which helps you feel more grounded.
We would love to know, what type of repetitive actions have you found helpful with grief. See you next time.
