Thoughts about creating a life you want to live in, from someone who has had to do it herself.
The speaker greets viewers, names the episode 'Rules of Engagement,' and sets up the topic of celebrating victories by promising a personal story.
The host recounts being moved by the Rodney King verdict, explains how that moment shaped their life choices and long-term mission, and outlines the aim to move millions toward anti-racist advocacy.
This section walks through writing the book proposal during the pandemic, working with editors, finding an agent, and enduring years of rejections — leading up to the rule to celebrate small victories.
The speaker describes ongoing celebrations along the journey and shares the current win: a book deal with The New Press, explaining why this milestone marks both an ending and a new starting line.
The host shares how visualizing seeing their book in bookstores and bestseller lists sustained momentum, clarifies that ambition is tied to impact rather than ego, and urges celebrating progress along the way.
Hey there, cadre. Rules of engagement, I was going to change the name and then it wouldn't let me change the name. Because today we're going to talk about celebration and celebrating the victory in hand. I'm sure there's a lot. It is September 1st today as I'm recording this, but it is, you know, whenever you're listening to this, welcome. And why do I have this smile on my face? I'm gonna tell you a story. I'm gonna tell you a story. Some of you know that in 1992, I was metaphorically struck by lightning a little bit, thinking about race and the verdict that acquitted the officers who beat Rodney King in that day, literally that day, I decided, April 29th, 1992, I decided that my work, at least part of it, and part of my mission in life, was to enroll white people in the work of racial equity.
And it's animated every decision I've made since. It animated my decision to go to graduate school in sociology, as opposed to psychology. I thought I was gonna be a addictions counselor, but instead here I am. And it animated the work I did in nonprofit world and fundraising, and it animated the work I did in local government as a council member and as mayor. And it has been the focus of at least one of my business dreams of my work since leaving office in 2018. And one of the big projects when I turned 50, so next Monday, September 7th is my 57th birthday.
5 million white people toward active advocacy for anti-racist policy change. 5% of a population, you can move the whole population. And that's my mission. And I said, okay. And the first step in that, the first step in that was to say, all right, I need to figure out, I didn't quite know this was the first step, but I had already been noodling about white people and what it takes and what's getting in the way. And I think about white people who believe racism exists and think it's bad. And what gets in the way of us actually advocating for the policies we know are good or will work or can make a difference.
And when we're constantly being invited, to lend our shoulder to that wheel. And I started figuring out some stuff. So as part of this 20 year project, I said, well, the first thing I need to do is I need to write a book to get all these ideas out there in the world in one place, because the thinking I'm doing is different than what's out there right now. And it takes a lot of bubble wrap, as it turns out. And so the book itself would be the, here are the ideas. Now let's talk about what to do based on this set of ideas.
ideas that is different, that are different. So during pandemic, even beforehand, I started working on the idea for this book and I wrote the first book proposal during pandemic lockdown in 2020, starting that fall of 2019, thinking, you know, putting the outline together for this book and then It took a couple years, and I worked with an editor to write this first proposal, like someone I just hired using some grant money from the Atlantic Fellowship for Racial Equity. I'm getting to a point here, I promise.
And then I spent two years after writing this proposal, which took a year or two, two years to find an agent. God bless her, Regina Books at Serendipity Literary Agency, knew what she had in her hands, said yes. She also said, it needs to be rewritten in some key ways. And so then I spent another year with a different editor, Sam Nicholson, fabulous development editor, used to be an editor at Random House, now helps people like me put our book proposals together, rewrote the entire proposal, and even I could tell it was like a million times better.
And then Regina has had that proposal in her hand, and all told, the project that Regina has had the book from the beginning, you know, the proposal. for four years, sending it out to, in this newest proposal for the last couple years, sending it out to editors, getting feedback. I guess my point is seven years, seven years I've been at this. And number 10 rule of engagement of mine is celebrate the victory in hand. And so there have been many celebrations along the way. One, I celebrated my birthday and I celebrated that I decided to do this project.
Two, I celebrated when I had a proposal I could put out. I celebrated every rejection. I kept a spreadsheet of every rejection from every agent that I reached out to who said, no, this isn't for me. Some of them I had a couple places where we had conversations, didn't work out. One very close call with someone who I am glad it did not work out. I celebrated those rejections because I decided to collect the rejections as opposed to just find an agent, right? Because knowing that, it just takes a long time.
And then I really celebrated when Regina and Serendipity took me on. That was a big celebration. Celebrate the victory in hand, celebrate all along the way. But the reason I am bringing it up today is I have something to celebrate today. I have this spring. after a little bit of drama on my part. And in the midst of that, Zakiya Henderson Brown at the New Press reached out and said she was interested in my book. Hi, E 90. Nice to see you. She reached out and said she was interested. And that happened, I think, in April or May.
And it is September 1st. And as of right now, it is published that I have a deal with new press books for this book called A Better Bargain about race and white people and my framework and my thinking. And the new press, the same press that published The New Jim Crow, for people who are familiar with that, it's a non-profit press. It is a really great home for me and my book. I am so excited to celebrate the victory in hand, and I'm really taking this moment to celebrate the culmination, the getting to the starting line of this next phase, right?
It's an ending line of the can I sell this book phase, and it is the starting line of the write the book, get it out in the world, get my ideas in every household in the United States of America, every white household in the United States of America. celebrate the victory in hand, but I don't want to glide over seven years. I celebrated all sorts of things along the way. I believed in this vision. I believed that this was possible. There were a lot of people who gave me a lot of helpful suggestions along the way about pursuing another path because traditional publishing paths are difficult.
And I just knew, and I just trusted what I knew here and kept going. Seven years. That's a lot of years as far as I'm concerned. It's gonna feel really short in about two or three months when I turn this final manuscript in. Seven years is gonna seem like a short time because after that it'll be 18 months till the book is out. Stay tuned, cadre. Celebrate the victory in hand. I am very glad I have been celebrating all along the way for a variety of reasons. One, because it felt good to do along the way and each step was worthy of celebration.
Two, I strengthened my celebration muscle. I strengthened my celebration muscle. So today I know this is so big. Part of what I did, I will say this, for years I just had a membership to Publishers Weekly and I would look at their newsletter every week, you know, come on my screen or my daily or whatever, I'd look on the website And then I would, every time the publisher's marketplace would announce these books, particularly nonfiction books, particularly about race, but any book, I would just look at it and say, someday that will be me.
They're going to announce my book. I could see it. I could feel it. I could taste it. I was like, this is going to be me. Someday. Someday, publisher's marketplace, there's going to be an announcement. I would see people online, and they'd have their little paragraph from Publishers Marketplace already, and they'd put it on their social media, you know, some personal news, and I'd say, and I'd be thrilled for them, right? I'd practice being thrilled for them, celebrate for them, and I'd say, because that's me too.
That's me too. I want everyone to celebrate when I put mine up, so I definitely want to celebrate for them, because I know how much work it is to get to that, just that announcement. Well, I just posted on my social media, the Publisher's Marketplace. They made it a deal of the day even. I just posted on Publisher's Marketplace, on my social media, the Publisher Marketplace announcement of my book with Zakiya Henderson Brown at the New Press and Regina Brooks of Serendipity Literary Agency. The New Press has acquired my book.
all of those times that I just looked and I saw my book. There it is. Now, I do this every time I go into a bookstore too. Every time I go into a bookstore and I see that table of books up front that everybody's excited about and I see the staff picks and I see the, oh, this is the best, you know, I go to the airport, you know, these are the best sellers, you know, #1. There's my book. I imagine, you know, I imagine seeing my book in airports. I imagine seeing my book in bookstores. I imagine my book on the front page of whatever online place you buy books from.
Anytime I look at the New York Times bestseller list, I see my book on it all the time. Just for fun. Just for fun. And it helps. It helps. It helps keep me going. Just that imagination. And the reason it's important to me is not just because I want to be fancy, although I do. There's nothing wrong with that. You know, let's hear it for ambition. But my ambition is for me. But my ambition is also for my ideas and my ambition is for the impact my ideas can have on the world. I have a lot of ambition for that.
So celebrate those victories in hand is what I say. And I imagine there are a lot of Minnesotans on here and that we are like allergic to bragging as Minnesotans. And this whole thing might have seemed bragging. I can hear the little Minnesotan in the back of my head saying, oh, you're just bragging about how great you are. It's like, did you hear the part where this took seven years? Seven years of rejection after rejection after rejection getting an agent and then rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection from editors?
If there's anything to brag about, it's just my persistence. It's just the persistence. I just kept showing up and doing the work every day. And there's a lot of lessons in there because I do my best to show up and do the work every day for all the things I care about, including my life, including my mental health. And there are days when I could not get up and do the work. I should say that very clearly since we're on a mental health app, for crying out loud. There were days where it was just like, I cannot.
But Those were days where I also said, what do I need in order to be able to persist? And those are the days that I talked to friends and got help and some days I yelled and some days I cried and some days I just went completely numb. I never drank over it, which is a miracle in and of itself. Persistence, I just kept showing up. So celebrate the victory in hand. Persistence and continuing to show up eventually just feels like enduring something horrible if I don't celebrate the victory in hand.
It's one of the reasons it's such an important rule of engagement. Have a great week, cadre. Next time you see me, I'll be 57. Today I'm 56. This is my last Tuesday as a 56-year-old. My birthday's on Labor Day this year. And I have some celebrations planned, which I'm guessing you'll hear all about next week. But until then, celebrate whatever victory you have going on in your life. Some days I celebrate getting out of bed. But today, I celebrate that. I just got to publish my, I just got to post my publisher's marketplace announcement of my book deal.
Have a good one, cadre.
