good morning good morning cadre. It's Betsy here with rules of engagement. here with rules of engagement. thinking about you hoping that things are here with rules of engagement. thinking about you hoping that things are going well for you. here with rules of engagement. thinking about you hoping that things are going well for you. i thinking about you hoping that things are going well for you. i um, things are going well for you. i um, lot of good things happening in things are going well for you.
i um, lot of good things happening in my life things are going well for you. i um, lot of good things happening in my life i've talked about things are going well for you. i um, lot of good things happening in my life i've talked about it um, lot of good things happening in my life i've talked about it here before um, lot of good things happening in my life i've talked about it here before when a lot in my life i've talked about it here before when a lot of good things are happening in my. here before when a lot of good things are happening in my.
Life. Hello, Brianna. here before when a lot of good things are happening in my. Life. Hello, Brianna. when lots of good things are happening in my. Life. Hello, Brianna. when lots of good things things are happening in my. Life. Hello, Brianna. when lots of good things are happening things are happening in my. Life. Hello, Brianna. when lots of good things are happening in my life Hello, Brianna. when lots of good things are happening in my life sometimes that's Hello, Brianna. when lots of good things are happening in my life sometimes that's when Hello, Brianna.
when lots of good things are happening in my life sometimes that's when my anxiety things are happening in my life sometimes that's when my anxiety spikes the most. things are happening in my life sometimes that's when my anxiety spikes the most. Um, so sometimes that's when my anxiety spikes the most. Um, so i've talked about that here a sometimes that's when my anxiety spikes the most. Um, so i've talked about that here a lot that spikes the most. Um, so i've talked about that here a lot that is spikes the most.
Um, so i've talked about that here a lot that is still true. spikes the most. Um, so i've talked about that here a lot that is still true. just spikes the most. Um, so i've talked about that here a lot that is still true. just update talked about that here a lot that is still true. just update folks. Uh, there's a. talked about that here a lot that is still true. just update folks. Uh, there's a. think i said is still true. just update folks. Uh, there's a. think i said something is still true. just update folks.
Uh, there's a. think i said something about this Uh, there's a. think i said something about this last week there's Uh, there's a. think i said something about this last week there's a project i've something about this last week there's a project i've been working something about this last week there's a project i've been working on there's a project i've been working on for six and a half years. there's a project i've been working on for six and a half years. i started writing a working on for six and a half years.
i started writing a book proposal working on for six and a half years. i started writing a book proposal during working on for six and a half years. i started writing a book proposal during pandemic lockdown years. i started writing a book proposal during pandemic lockdown in 2020. and uh took a and uh took a while to and uh took a while to write and uh took a while to write i i and uh took a while to write i i got the help of an editor. uh you know get some uh you know get some help uh you know get some help that's a good rule uh you know get some help that's a good rule of engagement.
uh you know get some help that's a good rule of engagement. help about uh you know get some help that's a good rule of engagement. help about how to uh you know get some help that's a good rule of engagement. help about how to get help i a good rule of engagement. help about how to get help i asked advice about how do a good rule of engagement. help about how to get help i asked advice about how do i write about how to get help i asked advice about how do i write a book advice about how do i write a book proposal?
And people said, well, so. advice about how do i write a book proposal? And people said, well, so. you book proposal? And people said, well, so. you you hire editors to help book proposal? And people said, well, so. you you hire editors to help them. I was like, great. uh and then it took uh and then it took a couple uh and then it took a couple years to find an agent with some bumps. uh and then it took a couple years to find an agent with some bumps. the way uh and then it took a couple years to find an agent with some bumps.
the way i i uh and then it took a couple years to find an agent with some bumps. the way i i was in the years to find an agent with some bumps. the way i i was in the process of years to find an agent with some bumps. the way i i was in the process of signing an bumps. the way i i was in the process of signing an agreement with bumps. the way i i was in the process of signing an agreement with an agent and she just. withdrew did not wanna uh follow withdrew did not wanna uh follow through on the work.
I don't. withdrew did not wanna uh follow through on the work. I don't. was asking withdrew did not wanna uh follow through on the work. I don't. was asking too many through on the work. I don't. was asking too many questions about this through on the work. I don't. was asking too many questions about this very weird through on the work. I don't. was asking too many questions about this very weird contract she asking too many questions about this very weird contract she was, (laugh) trying to get me to.
this very weird contract she was, (laugh) trying to get me to. so that this very weird contract she was, (laugh) trying to get me to. so that was this very weird contract she was, (laugh) trying to get me to. so that was difficult because this very weird contract she was, (laugh) trying to get me to. so that was difficult because it (laugh) trying to get me to. so that was difficult because it took i think that was difficult because it took i think another year to find my. that was difficult because it took i think another year to find my.
agent but i've i that was difficult because it took i think another year to find my. agent but i've i have this took i think another year to find my. agent but i've i have this agent I signed with her. my. agent but i've i have this agent I signed with her. i i think it was my. agent but i've i have this agent I signed with her. i i think it was four years ago now. agent I signed with her. i i think it was four years ago now. it was four agent I signed with her. i i think it was four years ago now.
it was four years in March. think it was four years ago now. it was four years in March. um lot of think it was four years ago now. it was four years in March. um lot of ups think it was four years ago now. it was four years in March. um lot of ups and think it was four years ago now. it was four years in March. um lot of ups and downs i had to it was four years in March. um lot of ups and downs i had to rewrite the lot of ups and downs i had to rewrite the proposal and it's entirety. i'm just saying to you six and i'm just saying to you six and a half i'm just saying to you six and a half years of work.
i'm just saying to you six and a half years of work. rewrite the i'm just saying to you six and a half years of work. rewrite the proposal uh i'm just saying to you six and a half years of work. rewrite the proposal uh not the i'm just saying to you six and a half years of work. rewrite the proposal uh not the core i'm just saying to you six and a half years of work. rewrite the proposal uh not the core ideas half years of work. rewrite the proposal uh not the core ideas but how I gave. half years of work.
rewrite the proposal uh not the core ideas but how I gave. access to it proposal uh not the core ideas but how I gave. access to it i had proposal uh not the core ideas but how I gave. access to it i had to rethink. but how I gave. access to it i had to rethink. the book it's a book but how I gave. access to it i had to rethink. the book it's a book about race for but how I gave. access to it i had to rethink. the book it's a book about race for white people. had to rethink. the book it's a book about race for white people.
and had to rethink. the book it's a book about race for white people. and um had to rethink. the book it's a book about race for white people. and um very book about race for white people. and um very helpful development editor. book about race for white people. and um very helpful development editor. uh this was book about race for white people. and um very helpful development editor. uh this was a book about race for white people. and um very helpful development editor. uh this was a development and um very helpful development editor.
uh this was a development editor and um very helpful development editor. uh this was a development editor somebody who obs developed editor. uh this was a development editor somebody who obs developed the editor. uh this was a development editor somebody who obs developed the ideas and how editor somebody who obs developed the ideas and how you put them forth with. editor somebody who obs developed the ideas and how you put them forth with. people so worked the ideas and how you put them forth with.
people so worked with Sam. the ideas and how you put them forth with. people so worked with Sam. then once that the ideas and how you put them forth with. people so worked with Sam. then once that was done, forth with. people so worked with Sam. then once that was done, my agent started putting forth with. people so worked with Sam. then once that was done, my agent started putting the book Sam. then once that was done, my agent started putting the book out in submission Sam. then once that was done, my agent started putting the book out in submission and i think agent started putting the book out in submission and i think that agent started putting the book out in submission and i think that was two years ago.
Two. agent started putting the book out in submission and i think that was two years ago. Two. half out in submission and i think that was two years ago. Two. half years out in submission and i think that was two years ago. Two. half years ago and if that was two years ago. Two. half years ago and if you think about what's that was two years ago. Two. half years ago and if you think about what's been going on in years ago and if you think about what's been going on in the world a years ago and if you think about what's been going on in the world a book about race, what's been going on in the world a book about race, feels more dicey now than what's been going on in the world a book about race, feels more dicey now than it did what's been going on in the world a book about race, feels more dicey now than it did five years a book about race, feels more dicey now than it did five years ago a book about race, feels more dicey now than it did five years ago when everybody was trying to.
dicey now than it did five years ago when everybody was trying to. they were dicey now than it did five years ago when everybody was trying to. they were all dicey now than it did five years ago when everybody was trying to. they were all about it ago when everybody was trying to. they were all about it after george floyd was ago when everybody was trying to. they were all about it after george floyd was murdered ago when everybody was trying to. they were all about it after george floyd was murdered So.
it needs the right editor it it needs the right editor it needs the right person. it needs the right editor it needs the right person. person it needs the right editor it needs the right person. person And, um, uh kind of uh kind of out of uh kind of out of nowhere a couple uh kind of out of nowhere a couple weeks uh kind of out of nowhere a couple weeks ago. intro a couple months ago, because a lot has happened in the world. intro a couple months ago, because a lot has happened in the world. the last time intro a couple months ago, because a lot has happened in the world.
the last time i wrote because a lot has happened in the world. the last time i wrote an introduction. because a lot has happened in the world. the last time i wrote an introduction. so out because a lot has happened in the world. the last time i wrote an introduction. so out of because a lot has happened in the world. the last time i wrote an introduction. so out of nowhere world. the last time i wrote an introduction. so out of nowhere but not world. the last time i wrote an introduction. so out of nowhere but not because six and a half introduction.
so out of nowhere but not because six and a half years worth of work, but it. but not because six and a half years worth of work, but it. feels a little bit out but not because six and a half years worth of work, but it. feels a little bit out of years worth of work, but it. feels a little bit out of nowhere when there's an feels a little bit out of nowhere when there's an editor who is all of a sudden interested. when there's an editor who is all of a sudden interested. in this book when there's an editor who is all of a sudden interested.
in this book proposal when there's an editor who is all of a sudden interested. in this book proposal for non-fiction. of a sudden interested. in this book proposal for non-fiction. write a of a sudden interested. in this book proposal for non-fiction. write a proposal of a sudden interested. in this book proposal for non-fiction. write a proposal it's of a sudden interested. in this book proposal for non-fiction. write a proposal it's a really book proposal for non-fiction. write a proposal it's a really lengthy document maybe you write a proposal it's a really lengthy document maybe you have a sample lengthy document maybe you have a sample chapter or two.
It explains. lengthy document maybe you have a sample chapter or two. It explains. the lengthy document maybe you have a sample chapter or two. It explains. the book's lengthy document maybe you have a sample chapter or two. It explains. the book's about sample chapter or two. It explains. the book's about it sells you sample chapter or two. It explains. the book's about it sells you know the outline of sample chapter or two. It explains. the book's about it sells you know the outline of the explains.
the book's about it sells you know the outline of the book and sells you know the outline of the book and annotated outline. Here's. sells you know the outline of the book and annotated outline. Here's. the sells you know the outline of the book and annotated outline. Here's. the chapters will sells you know the outline of the book and annotated outline. Here's. the chapters will do. book and annotated outline. Here's. the chapters will do. am i the book and annotated outline. Here's. the chapters will do.
am i the marketing all book and annotated outline. Here's. the chapters will do. am i the marketing all this Here's. the chapters will do. am i the marketing all this stuff i had to Here's. the chapters will do. am i the marketing all this stuff i had to learn Here's. the chapters will do. am i the marketing all this stuff i had to learn i knew i the marketing all this stuff i had to learn i knew nothing when I started. i the marketing all this stuff i had to learn i knew nothing when I started.
zero i got a sample had to learn i knew nothing when I started. zero i got a sample book proposal I started. zero i got a sample book proposal from someone, a writer. I admire a great deal. book proposal from someone, a writer. I admire a great deal. i paid a book proposal from someone, a writer. I admire a great deal. i paid a hundred dollars for writer. I admire a great deal. i paid a hundred dollars for her sample book proposal writer. I admire a great deal. i paid a hundred dollars for her sample book proposal i wrote writer.
I admire a great deal. i paid a hundred dollars for her sample book proposal i wrote my paid a hundred dollars for her sample book proposal i wrote my book proposal. sample book proposal i wrote my book proposal. then sent that to the sample book proposal i wrote my book proposal. then sent that to the editor i sample book proposal i wrote my book proposal. then sent that to the editor i worked with sample book proposal i wrote my book proposal. then sent that to the editor i worked with we book proposal.
then sent that to the editor i worked with we reworked it and book proposal. then sent that to the editor i worked with we reworked it and et cetera the editor i worked with we reworked it and et cetera et cetera. the editor i worked with we reworked it and et cetera et cetera. so you're getting the reworked it and et cetera et cetera. so you're getting the impression six reworked it and et cetera et cetera. so you're getting the impression six and a half reworked it and et cetera et cetera. so you're getting the impression six and a half years cetera.
so you're getting the impression six and a half years worth of work. Very. impression six and a half years worth of work. Very. discouraging moments in the last impression six and a half years worth of work. Very. discouraging moments in the last six and worth of work. Very. discouraging moments in the last six and a half years there were moments in the last six and a half years there were moments where i moments in the last six and a half years there were moments where i was going to quit there.
half years there were moments where i was going to quit there. moments where i just turned where i was going to quit there. moments where i just turned my attention elsewhere either moments where i just turned my attention elsewhere either because it moments where i just turned my attention elsewhere either because it was all you know attention elsewhere either because it was all you know when it was in my agent's hand. because it was all you know when it was in my agent's hand. that was great because all of a sudden it was in my agent's hand.
that was great because all of a sudden it it was in my agent's hand. that was great because all of a sudden it was like in it was in my agent's hand. that was great because all of a sudden it was like in her was great because all of a sudden it was like in her hands and not mine. all that is to say all that is to say there's an all that is to say there's an editor right now all that is to say there's an editor right now Who's interested in my book and. all that is to say there's an editor right now Who's interested in my book and.
If things go editor right now Who's interested in my book and. If things go as I understand they will. editor right now Who's interested in my book and. If things go as I understand they will. maybe in my book and. If things go as I understand they will. maybe tomorrow but in my book and. If things go as I understand they will. maybe tomorrow but i was in my book and. If things go as I understand they will. maybe tomorrow but i was told understand they will. maybe tomorrow but i was told today i would get understand they will.
maybe tomorrow but i was told today i would get an understand they will. maybe tomorrow but i was told today i would get an offer to review. tomorrow but i was told today i would get an offer to review. and maybe i will tomorrow but i was told today i would get an offer to review. and maybe i will work with this would get an offer to review. and maybe i will work with this editor to would get an offer to review. and maybe i will work with this editor to write my book. maybe i will work with this editor to write my book.
put it out maybe i will work with this editor to write my book. put it out in the maybe i will work with this editor to write my book. put it out in the world and uh editor to write my book. put it out in the world and uh you could see. editor to write my book. put it out in the world and uh you could see. if i am editor to write my book. put it out in the world and uh you could see. if i am someone whose editor to write my book. put it out in the world and uh you could see. if i am someone whose body out in the world and uh you could see.
if i am someone whose body thinks good things are out in the world and uh you could see. if i am someone whose body thinks good things are a threat. see. if i am someone whose body thinks good things are a threat. might be a see. if i am someone whose body thinks good things are a threat. might be a little agitated thinks good things are a threat. might be a little agitated it's been a thinks good things are a threat. might be a little agitated it's been a little rough and might be a little agitated it's been a little rough and i'm glad i might be a little agitated it's been a little rough and i'm glad i have my rules of engagement.
I. been a little rough and i'm glad i have my rules of engagement. I. i come here and been a little rough and i'm glad i have my rules of engagement. I. i come here and talk to you i have my rules of engagement. I. i come here and talk to you all because it means i i have my rules of engagement. I. i come here and talk to you all because it means i have to i come here and talk to you all because it means i have to i get to i come here and talk to you all because it means i have to i get to not have i come here and talk to you all because it means i have to i get to not have to get to because it means i have to i get to not have to get to review my rules.
because it means i have to i get to not have to get to review my rules. of because it means i have to i get to not have to get to review my rules. of Of engagement. Um, to not have to get to review my rules. of Of engagement. Um, and so another thing has happened in the middle another thing has happened in the middle of all of this another thing has happened in the middle of all of this when another thing has happened in the middle of all of this when my anxiety is high. um there are things and i've got um there are things and i've got a lot of work um there are things and i've got a lot of work to do as um there are things and i've got a lot of work to do as well um there are things and i've got a lot of work to do as well i mean um there are things and i've got a lot of work to do as well i mean I, things are bust.
um there are things and i've got a lot of work to do as well i mean I, things are bust. bustling a lot of work to do as well i mean I, things are bust. bustling Bustling in over here. and um one of the and um one of the ways i and um one of the ways i can tell i'm and um one of the ways i can tell i'm not working is and um one of the ways i can tell i'm not working is by and um one of the ways i can tell i'm not working is by reading another way I can tell. i'm not working is by reading another way I can tell.
I'm not working is by watching TV. another way I can tell. I'm not working is by watching TV. um i don't watch a another way I can tell. I'm not working is by watching TV. um i don't watch a ton of another way I can tell. I'm not working is by watching TV. um i don't watch a ton of tv i working is by watching TV. um i don't watch a ton of tv i don't think. working is by watching TV. um i don't watch a ton of tv i don't think. is my impression but i don't watch a ton of tv i don't think. is my impression but i do watch it.
don't watch a ton of tv i don't think. is my impression but i do watch it. and i watch the think. is my impression but i do watch it. and i watch the show off think. is my impression but i do watch it. and i watch the show off campus. think. is my impression but i do watch it. and i watch the show off campus. and if you think. is my impression but i do watch it. and i watch the show off campus. and if you have watch it. and i watch the show off campus. and if you have not seen off campus. and if you have not seen off-campus it's another hockey show.
seen off-campus it's another hockey show. uh another hockey romance seen off-campus it's another hockey show. uh another hockey romance show this time. hockey show. uh another hockey romance show this time. between you hockey show. uh another hockey romance show this time. between you know hockey show. uh another hockey romance show this time. between you know among straight people. romance show this time. between you know among straight people. or romance show this time. between you know among straight people.
or male female romance show this time. between you know among straight people. or male female couples i have you know among straight people. or male female couples i have no idea if you know among straight people. or male female couples i have no idea if they identify as you know among straight people. or male female couples i have no idea if they identify as straight or male female couples i have no idea if they identify as straight or not. or male female couples i have no idea if they identify as straight or not.
Um, and up my alley i enjoyed it and up my alley i enjoyed it very much i it and up my alley i enjoyed it very much i it was much and up my alley i enjoyed it very much i it was much better than I thought. and up my alley i enjoyed it very much i it was much better than I thought. it would and up my alley i enjoyed it very much i it was much better than I thought. it would be and up my alley i enjoyed it very much i it was much better than I thought. it would be uh and much i it was much better than I thought.
it would be uh and i actually one of much i it was much better than I thought. it would be uh and i actually one of the writers on thought. it would be uh and i actually one of the writers on the thought. it would be uh and i actually one of the writers on the show I interacted with. actually one of the writers on the show I interacted with. social media because actually one of the writers on the show I interacted with. social media because there was the show I interacted with. social media because there was a particular scene.
social media because there was a particular scene. That spoke so well. To work, paying off. To work, paying off. sometimes we do all this To work, paying off. sometimes we do all this I'm getting to a point here. To work, paying off. sometimes we do all this I'm getting to a point here. we do all To work, paying off. sometimes we do all this I'm getting to a point here. we do all this To work, paying off. sometimes we do all this I'm getting to a point here. we do all this work do all this I'm getting to a point here.
we do all this work and then it pays off. At some point At some point uh in when you're in At some point uh in when you're in the middle of At some point uh in when you're in the middle of it that's a great At some point uh in when you're in the middle of it that's a great song At some point uh in when you're in the middle of it that's a great song by jimmy in the middle of it that's a great song by jimmy eats world when you're in the. great song by jimmy eats world when you're in the. it's of the ride it's great song by jimmy eats world when you're in the.
it's of the ride it's really hard to tell. when you're in the. it's of the ride it's really hard to tell. also a great song when you're in the. it's of the ride it's really hard to tell. also a great song by caitlin ride it's really hard to tell. also a great song by caitlin butts she just also a great song by caitlin butts she just redid that song on country music. also a great song by caitlin butts she just redid that song on country music. Um, butts she just redid that song on country music. Um, it's hard to tell butts she just redid that song on country music.
Um, it's hard to tell how butts she just redid that song on country music. Um, it's hard to tell how well things are going. country music. Um, it's hard to tell how well things are going. it's hard to tell that country music. Um, it's hard to tell how well things are going. it's hard to tell that you're tell how well things are going. it's hard to tell that you're growing cuz tell how well things are going. it's hard to tell that you're growing cuz it kind of it's hard to tell that you're growing cuz it kind of feels the same.
it's hard to tell that you're growing cuz it kind of feels the same. one of the reasons it's hard to tell that you're growing cuz it kind of feels the same. one of the reasons it feels growing cuz it kind of feels the same. one of the reasons it feels the same growing cuz it kind of feels the same. one of the reasons it feels the same it's growing cuz it kind of feels the same. one of the reasons it feels the same it's not growing cuz it kind of feels the same. one of the reasons it feels the same it's not that growing cuz it kind of feels the same.
one of the reasons it feels the same it's not that my same. one of the reasons it feels the same it's not that my anxiety feels any different. same. one of the reasons it feels the same it's not that my anxiety feels any different. anytime the same it's not that my anxiety feels any different. anytime i experience the same it's not that my anxiety feels any different. anytime i experience i experience feels any different. anytime i experience i experience my anxiety. uh it feels uh it feels the uh it feels the same uh it feels the same it says the uh it feels the same it says the same things over and over.
uh it feels the same it says the same things over and over. so it's hard for uh it feels the same it says the same things over and over. so it's hard for me to same things over and over. so it's hard for me to tell sometimes that things are same things over and over. so it's hard for me to tell sometimes that things are better it's hard for me to tell sometimes that things are better but my it's hard for me to tell sometimes that things are better but my litmus test is. um am i feeling pretty um am i feeling pretty good most of um am i feeling pretty good most of the time?
um am i feeling pretty good most of the time? One um am i feeling pretty good most of the time? One and what does that mean for me? the mean voices the mean voices are less loud. uh when they show uh when they show up they're uh when they show up they're just less uh when they show up they're just less they're always saying the same less they're always saying the same thing, but they're less loud. less they're always saying the same thing, but they're less loud. they're less frequent they same thing, but they're less loud.
they're less frequent they show up loud. they're less frequent they show up less often than mean voices. if i'm pushing myself and if things if i'm pushing myself and if things are going really if i'm pushing myself and if things are going really well they they if i'm pushing myself and if things are going really well they they do show if i'm pushing myself and if things are going really well they they do show up, but I get to. things are going really well they they do show up, but I get to. how things are going really well they they do show up, but I get to.
how to sit things are going really well they they do show up, but I get to. how to sit as you they do show up, but I get to. how to sit as you know, aside them. they do show up, but I get to. how to sit as you know, aside them. them as opposed how to sit as you know, aside them. them as opposed to sit in them. and less lengthy when and less lengthy when they and less lengthy when they do show and less lengthy when they do show up and less lengthy when they do show up they and less lengthy when they do show up they last they're, they don't last.
show up they last they're, they don't last. in part because i have show up they last they're, they don't last. in part because i have all these don't last. in part because i have all these skills to handle it on the don't last. in part because i have all these skills to handle it on the front end have all these skills to handle it on the front end I've talked about having done. have all these skills to handle it on the front end I've talked about having done. this anxiety it on the front end I've talked about having done.
this anxiety so it on the front end I've talked about having done. this anxiety so i i it on the front end I've talked about having done. this anxiety so i i know. it on the front end I've talked about having done. this anxiety so i i know. when i know that about having done. this anxiety so i i know. when i know that i have about having done. this anxiety so i i know. when i know that i have towels for about having done. this anxiety so i i know. when i know that i have towels for an anxiety. so i i know.
when i know that i have towels for an anxiety. ramping up that so i i know. when i know that i have towels for an anxiety. ramping up that go far. have towels for an anxiety. ramping up that go far. uh when i dig have towels for an anxiety. ramping up that go far. uh when i dig this have towels for an anxiety. ramping up that go far. uh when i dig this inventory ramping up that go far. uh when i dig this inventory i realized those ramping up that go far. uh when i dig this inventory i realized those symptoms show up.
long before i experience long before i experience it long before i experience it as hello dr long before i experience it as hello dr jessica long before i experience it as hello dr jessica Good morning. those tells show those tells show up long before. those tells show up long before. i have those tells show up long before. i have this experience those tells show up long before. i have this experience of oh my those tells show up long before. i have this experience of oh my god oh my god those tells show up long before.
i have this experience of oh my god oh my god i i have this experience of oh my god oh my god i can't breathe. Sort of overwhelming. god oh my god i can't breathe. Sort of overwhelming. to the point that i'm god oh my god i can't breathe. Sort of overwhelming. to the point that i'm sitting in a god oh my god i can't breathe. Sort of overwhelming. to the point that i'm sitting in a free Sort of overwhelming. to the point that i'm sitting in a free state like it shows point that i'm sitting in a free state like it shows up long before that.
And. state like it shows up long before that. And. talked about what some of state like it shows up long before that. And. talked about what some of my tells before that. And. talked about what some of my tells are here before before that. And. talked about what some of my tells are here before you know before that. And. talked about what some of my tells are here before you know i literally before that. And. talked about what some of my tells are here before you know i literally ring what some of my tells are here before you know i literally ring my hands.
If that shows up. before you know i literally ring my hands. If that shows up. there are before you know i literally ring my hands. If that shows up. there are recordings in before you know i literally ring my hands. If that shows up. there are recordings in my head. my hands. If that shows up. there are recordings in my head. that show my hands. If that shows up. there are recordings in my head. that show up. my hands. If that shows up. there are recordings in my head. that show up. long my hands.
If that shows up. there are recordings in my head. that show up. long before my hands. If that shows up. there are recordings in my head. that show up. long before um my hands. If that shows up. there are recordings in my head. that show up. long before um i am are recordings in my head. that show up. long before um i am aw or used to show up. long before um i am aw or used to be before I was really aware. It would. or used to be before I was really aware. It would. to get to like a seven or or used to be before I was really aware.
It would. to get to like a seven or an eight before or used to be before I was really aware. It would. to get to like a seven or an eight before i'd aware. It would. to get to like a seven or an eight before i'd noticed that my seven or an eight before i'd noticed that my anxiety was pretty seven or an eight before i'd noticed that my anxiety was pretty high. Now it gets to a. seven or an eight before i'd noticed that my anxiety was pretty high. Now it gets to a. a noticed that my anxiety was pretty high.
Now it gets to a. a three noticed that my anxiety was pretty high. Now it gets to a. a three before i notice pretty high. Now it gets to a. a three before i notice that my anxiety pretty high. Now it gets to a. a three before i notice that my anxiety is ramping up. three before i notice that my anxiety is ramping up. sometimes i can't help three before i notice that my anxiety is ramping up. sometimes i can't help it three before i notice that my anxiety is ramping up. sometimes i can't help it from going anxiety is ramping up.
sometimes i can't help it from going to a four or anxiety is ramping up. sometimes i can't help it from going to a four or five or anxiety is ramping up. sometimes i can't help it from going to a four or five or six i'm i can't help it from going to a four or five or six i'm using all my tools. i can't help it from going to a four or five or six i'm using all my tools. but it ramps up four or five or six i'm using all my tools. but it ramps up less slowly four or five or six i'm using all my tools.
but it ramps up less slowly and it doesn't my tools. but it ramps up less slowly and it doesn't always go as high. my tools. but it ramps up less slowly and it doesn't always go as high. and i know slowly and it doesn't always go as high. and i know what's going on. slowly and it doesn't always go as high. and i know what's going on. the what slowly and it doesn't always go as high. and i know what's going on. the what really as high. and i know what's going on. the what really drove me to the and as high.
and i know what's going on. the what really drove me to the and i'm gonna as high. and i know what's going on. the what really drove me to the and i'm gonna get to the on. the what really drove me to the and i'm gonna get to the off-campus thing here in a the and i'm gonna get to the off-campus thing here in a second, but what really drove. me to do the inventory and do me to do the inventory and do all this extra work a me to do the inventory and do all this extra work a few me to do the inventory and do all this extra work a few years ago was when I.
me to do the inventory and do all this extra work a few years ago was when I. that i experienced me to do the inventory and do all this extra work a few years ago was when I. that i experienced my this extra work a few years ago was when I. that i experienced my anxiety rather than observed was when I. that i experienced my anxiety rather than observed my anxiety. I. was when I. that i experienced my anxiety rather than observed my anxiety. I. it was when I. that i experienced my anxiety rather than observed my anxiety.
I. it as was when I. that i experienced my anxiety rather than observed my anxiety. I. it as reality like anxiety rather than observed my anxiety. I. it as reality like the voices anxiety rather than observed my anxiety. I. it as reality like the voices in my head were anxiety. I. it as reality like the voices in my head were just correct. anxiety. I. it as reality like the voices in my head were just correct. this anxiety. I. it as reality like the voices in my head were just correct. this was anxiety.
I. it as reality like the voices in my head were just correct. this was overwhelming the voices in my head were just correct. this was overwhelming that i the voices in my head were just correct. this was overwhelming that i couldn't do it that the voices in my head were just correct. this was overwhelming that i couldn't do it that there correct. this was overwhelming that i couldn't do it that there was too much. correct. this was overwhelming that i couldn't do it that there was too much. on and correct.
this was overwhelming that i couldn't do it that there was too much. on and on correct. this was overwhelming that i couldn't do it that there was too much. on and on um that that i couldn't do it that there was too much. on and on um that i just experienced that i couldn't do it that there was too much. on and on um that i just experienced that as reality was too much. on and on um that i just experienced that as reality and behaved was too much. on and on um that i just experienced that as reality and behaved based behavior.
was too much. on and on um that i just experienced that as reality and behaved based behavior. on just experienced that as reality and behaved based behavior. on it, which since my anxiety started since my anxiety started when i since my anxiety started when i was eight since my anxiety started when i was eight often, that means I'm putting a 10 year old in. since my anxiety started when i was eight often, that means I'm putting a 10 year old in. you was eight often, that means I'm putting a 10 year old in.
you know was eight often, that means I'm putting a 10 year old in. you know a was eight often, that means I'm putting a 10 year old in. you know a very traumatized putting a 10 year old in. you know a very traumatized stressed out ten putting a 10 year old in. you know a very traumatized stressed out ten year old or know a very traumatized stressed out ten year old or 11 year old in charge of. know a very traumatized stressed out ten year old or 11 year old in charge of. life know a very traumatized stressed out ten year old or 11 year old in charge of.
life and, um, out ten year old or 11 year old in charge of. life and, um, that's not out ten year old or 11 year old in charge of. life and, um, that's not a good idea. as a fifty six year as a fifty six year old woman to as a fifty six year old woman to put a stressed as a fifty six year old woman to put a stressed out 10 year old in charge of my life. as a fifty six year old woman to put a stressed out 10 year old in charge of my life. not a great put a stressed out 10 year old in charge of my life.
not a great idea put a stressed out 10 year old in charge of my life. not a great idea so what put a stressed out 10 year old in charge of my life. not a great idea so what i learned how to put a stressed out 10 year old in charge of my life. not a great idea so what i learned how to do charge of my life. not a great idea so what i learned how to do was observe my anxiety. I still. was observe my anxiety. I still. sometimes experience it as real i'll was observe my anxiety. I still. sometimes experience it as real i'll get down the sometimes experience it as real i'll get down the path, but more and more quickly.
sometimes experience it as real i'll get down the path, but more and more quickly. am able to i'll get down the path, but more and more quickly. am able to say oh i'll get down the path, but more and more quickly. am able to say oh i wanna i'll get down the path, but more and more quickly. am able to say oh i wanna observe this. and more quickly. am able to say oh i wanna observe this. make decision once i can observe it oh i wanna observe this. make decision once i can observe it i can oh i wanna observe this.
make decision once i can observe it i can make different decision once i can observe it i can make different decisions around decision once i can observe it i can make different decisions around it decision once i can observe it i can make different decisions around it as opposed can make different decisions around it as opposed to just experiencing it. can make different decisions around it as opposed to just experiencing it. reality can make different decisions around it as opposed to just experiencing it.
reality and around it as opposed to just experiencing it. reality and believing these untrue messages in my these untrue messages in my head that these untrue messages in my head that are left these untrue messages in my head that are left over from a bunch of trauma. these untrue messages in my head that are left over from a bunch of trauma. and these untrue messages in my head that are left over from a bunch of trauma. and addiction as a that are left over from a bunch of trauma. and addiction as a young person.
that are left over from a bunch of trauma. and addiction as a young person. And of trauma. and addiction as a young person. And sometimes i can sit of trauma. and addiction as a young person. And sometimes i can sit back and of trauma. and addiction as a young person. And sometimes i can sit back and notice you young person. And sometimes i can sit back and notice you know this idea young person. And sometimes i can sit back and notice you know this idea one of my. young person. And sometimes i can sit back and notice you know this idea one of my.
engagement go sit back and notice you know this idea one of my. engagement go get that sit back and notice you know this idea one of my. engagement go get that problem like sit back and notice you know this idea one of my. engagement go get that problem like i went and i'm idea one of my. engagement go get that problem like i went and i'm getting the idea one of my. engagement go get that problem like i went and i'm getting the problem that problem like i went and i'm getting the problem of life is so good that my.
getting the problem of life is so good that my. anxiety's gotten higher well getting the problem of life is so good that my. anxiety's gotten higher well that means good that my. anxiety's gotten higher well that means i'm practicing receiving higher well that means i'm practicing receiving good things. And I've talked here a lot. practicing receiving good things. And I've talked here a lot. practicing receiving practicing receiving good things. And I've talked here a lot. practicing receiving skills.
And I've talked here a lot. practicing receiving skills. But there was a moment. Um, because I got sober. Um, because I got sober. uh you know i uh Um, because I got sober. uh you know i uh when i Um, because I got sober. uh you know i uh when i was nineteen i Um, because I got sober. uh you know i uh when i was nineteen i got sober in Um, because I got sober. uh you know i uh when i was nineteen i got sober in 1989, a couple. know i uh when i was nineteen i got sober in 1989, a couple. in a lot know i uh when i was nineteen i got sober in 1989, a couple.
in a lot of really know i uh when i was nineteen i got sober in 1989, a couple. in a lot of really heavy stuff that got sober in 1989, a couple. in a lot of really heavy stuff that I had experienced as a child. got sober in 1989, a couple. in a lot of really heavy stuff that I had experienced as a child. i lot of really heavy stuff that I had experienced as a child. i was shoving lot of really heavy stuff that I had experienced as a child. i was shoving aside with had experienced as a child. i was shoving aside with all these addictions I had.
uh let me know that it uh let me know that it was ready and uh let me know that it was ready and available to be processed. and i went and and i went and got tools and and i went and got tools and resources all and i went and got tools and resources all kinds of things. I mean, I went. and i went and got tools and resources all kinds of things. I mean, I went. two recovery resources all kinds of things. I mean, I went. two recovery meetings a day resources all kinds of things. I mean, I went. two recovery meetings a day i resources all kinds of things.
I mean, I went. two recovery meetings a day i got a therapist mean, I went. two recovery meetings a day i got a therapist i i mean, I went. two recovery meetings a day i got a therapist i i was very meetings a day i got a therapist i i was very blessed. All these things. meetings a day i got a therapist i i was very blessed. All these things. available meetings a day i got a therapist i i was very blessed. All these things. available to meetings a day i got a therapist i i was very blessed. All these things.
available to me meetings a day i got a therapist i i was very blessed. All these things. available to me um i i was very blessed. All these things. available to me um seven dollars a i i was very blessed. All these things. available to me um seven dollars a session things. available to me um seven dollars a session This therapist, somebody. things. available to me um seven dollars a session This therapist, somebody. at that from one of things. available to me um seven dollars a session This therapist, somebody.
at that from one of my dollars a session This therapist, somebody. at that from one of my meetings just hooked dollars a session This therapist, somebody. at that from one of my meetings just hooked me up dollars a session This therapist, somebody. at that from one of my meetings just hooked me up with a somebody. at that from one of my meetings just hooked me up with a therapist who specialized in one. meetings just hooked me up with a therapist who specialized in one. in what i was meetings just hooked me up with a therapist who specialized in one.
in what i was going through which therapist who specialized in one. in what i was going through which is not. therapist who specialized in one. in what i was going through which is not. common therapist who specialized in one. in what i was going through which is not. common Common, right. Um, in what i was going through which is not. common Common, right. Um, anyway, it was amazing. in what i was going through which is not. common Common, right. Um, anyway, it was amazing. and a few is not. common Common, right.
Um, anyway, it was amazing. and a few things happened. is not. common Common, right. Um, anyway, it was amazing. and a few things happened. some is not. common Common, right. Um, anyway, it was amazing. and a few things happened. some point is not. common Common, right. Um, anyway, it was amazing. and a few things happened. some point a few anyway, it was amazing. and a few things happened. some point a few years into that part of things happened. some point a few years into that part of the healing work and things happened.
some point a few years into that part of the healing work and that things happened. some point a few years into that part of the healing work and that part of years into that part of the healing work and that part of my recovery. i realized i finally i realized i finally came to understand. i realized i finally came to understand. that i realized i finally came to understand. that trauma i i realized i finally came to understand. that trauma i had experienced. i realized i finally came to understand.
that trauma i had experienced. was not the i realized i finally came to understand. that trauma i had experienced. was not the most understand. that trauma i had experienced. was not the most important thing understand. that trauma i had experienced. was not the most important thing about me. it's not the most it's not the most important thing about me. it's not the most important thing about me. me the most important thing about it's not the most important thing about me. me the most important thing about me is my sense about me.
me the most important thing about me is my sense of humor. about me. me the most important thing about me is my sense of humor. my capacity about me. me the most important thing about me is my sense of humor. my capacity to about me. me the most important thing about me is my sense of humor. my capacity to heal is up thing about me is my sense of humor. my capacity to heal is up there my courage and my thing about me is my sense of humor. my capacity to heal is up there my courage and my integrity humor.
my capacity to heal is up there my courage and my integrity these are there my courage and my integrity these are the most important things. there my courage and my integrity these are the most important things. about there my courage and my integrity these are the most important things. about About me not uh i'm not defined by this is uh i'm not defined by this is what i went through uh i'm not defined by this is what i went through when I was young. uh i'm not defined by this is what i went through when I was young.
So that was huge though. what i went through when I was young. So that was huge though. was what i went through when I was young. So that was huge though. was a what i went through when I was young. So that was huge though. was a huge understanding young. So that was huge though. was a huge understanding and realization. young. So that was huge though. was a huge understanding and realization. at some point was a huge understanding and realization. at some point I also realized. was a huge understanding and realization.
at some point I also realized. that and this realization. at some point I also realized. that and this happened maybe ten realization. at some point I also realized. that and this happened maybe ten years ago now. maybe fifteen years ago but maybe fifteen years ago but somewhere maybe fifteen years ago but somewhere in the last ten maybe fifteen years ago but somewhere in the last ten or maybe fifteen years ago but somewhere in the last ten or 15 years, I. maybe fifteen years ago but somewhere in the last ten or 15 years, I.
i maybe fifteen years ago but somewhere in the last ten or 15 years, I. i realized maybe fifteen years ago but somewhere in the last ten or 15 years, I. i realized was maybe fifteen years ago but somewhere in the last ten or 15 years, I. i realized was harder somewhere in the last ten or 15 years, I. i realized was harder for the somewhere in the last ten or 15 years, I. i realized was harder for the person listening. years, I. i realized was harder for the person listening. to hear what i years, I.
i realized was harder for the person listening. to hear what i had gone through. for the person listening. to hear what i had gone through. it was for me to for the person listening. to hear what i had gone through. it was for me to talk about it it what i had gone through. it was for me to talk about it it wasn't harder than what i had gone through. it was for me to talk about it it wasn't harder than me to for me to talk about it it wasn't harder than me to have gone through it. for me to talk about it it wasn't harder than me to have gone through it.
you know uh for me to talk about it it wasn't harder than me to have gone through it. you know uh cuz i harder than me to have gone through it. you know uh cuz i do get harder than me to have gone through it. you know uh cuz i do get that sometimes I'm like. through it. you know uh cuz i do get that sometimes I'm like. you think it's through it. you know uh cuz i do get that sometimes I'm like. you think it's really hard through it. you know uh cuz i do get that sometimes I'm like. you think it's really hard to get that sometimes I'm like.
you think it's really hard to hear what i have to get that sometimes I'm like. you think it's really hard to hear what i have to say get that sometimes I'm like. you think it's really hard to hear what i have to say about my get that sometimes I'm like. you think it's really hard to hear what i have to say about my young think it's really hard to hear what i have to say about my young life. Imagine living it. uh but i realized it was uh but i realized it was harder for other uh but i realized it was harder for other people to hear uh but i realized it was harder for other people to hear and that uh but i realized it was harder for other people to hear and that when I talk about it, when I.
for other people to hear and that when I talk about it, when I. my story for other people to hear and that when I talk about it, when I. my story now because for other people to hear and that when I talk about it, when I. my story now because i was when I talk about it, when I. my story now because i was public with when I talk about it, when I. my story now because i was public with my when I talk about it, when I. my story now because i was public with my story when I talk about it, when I. my story now because i was public with my story in 2017.
story now because i was public with my story in 2017. i went public and story now because i was public with my story in 2017. i went public and I understood. story now because i was public with my story in 2017. i went public and I understood. was story now because i was public with my story in 2017. i went public and I understood. was my with my story in 2017. i went public and I understood. was my job. with my story in 2017. i went public and I understood. was my job. basically be with my story in 2017.
i went public and I understood. was my job. basically be the counselor public and I understood. was my job. basically be the counselor and not the public and I understood. was my job. basically be the counselor and not the client. job. basically be the counselor and not the client. when i was talking about it to and not the client. when i was talking about it to understand it was and not the client. when i was talking about it to understand it was gonna be hard for a lot talking about it to understand it was gonna be hard for a lot of people to talking about it to understand it was gonna be hard for a lot of people to hear, because.
was gonna be hard for a lot of people to hear, because. there are a lot was gonna be hard for a lot of people to hear, because. there are a lot of survivors out people to hear, because. there are a lot of survivors out there who are people to hear, because. there are a lot of survivors out there who are either in the middle are a lot of survivors out there who are either in the middle of the work or haven't done who are either in the middle of the work or haven't done their work, or don't even know.
the work or haven't done their work, or don't even know. and it just hits the work or haven't done their work, or don't even know. and it just hits you in the work or haven't done their work, or don't even know. and it just hits you in this raw work, or don't even know. and it just hits you in this raw difficult way and i work, or don't even know. and it just hits you in this raw difficult way and i would get a just hits you in this raw difficult way and i would get a lot of whatever that was. difficult way and i would get a lot of whatever that was.
gonna come difficult way and i would get a lot of whatever that was. gonna come at difficult way and i would get a lot of whatever that was. gonna come at me difficult way and i would get a lot of whatever that was. gonna come at me and i lot of whatever that was. gonna come at me and i understood that and lot of whatever that was. gonna come at me and i understood that and i volunteered for it come at me and i understood that and i volunteered for it by going public with my story. and i volunteered for it by going public with my story.
because i was in and i volunteered for it by going public with my story. because i was in a healed and i volunteered for it by going public with my story. because i was in a healed enough public with my story. because i was in a healed enough place that. public with my story. because i was in a healed enough place that. was public with my story. because i was in a healed enough place that. was actually public with my story. because i was in a healed enough place that. was actually better public with my story.
because i was in a healed enough place that. was actually better for me was in a healed enough place that. was actually better for me to tell my that. was actually better for me to tell my story than it was for me to keep. that. was actually better for me to tell my story than it was for me to keep. other people's to tell my story than it was for me to keep. other people's secrets. to tell my story than it was for me to keep. other people's secrets. secrets so this is to tell my story than it was for me to keep.
other people's secrets. secrets so this is a me to keep. other people's secrets. secrets so this is a spoiler alert for me to keep. other people's secrets. secrets so this is a spoiler alert for the tv show off secrets. secrets so this is a spoiler alert for the tv show off campus if you spoiler alert for the tv show off campus if you haven't seen it, if you don't. spoiler alert for the tv show off campus if you haven't seen it, if you don't. know spoiler alert for the tv show off campus if you haven't seen it, if you don't.
know this spoiler alert for the tv show off campus if you haven't seen it, if you don't. know this then. spoiler alert for the tv show off campus if you haven't seen it, if you don't. know this then. off campus if you haven't seen it, if you don't. know this then. off now there's campus if you haven't seen it, if you don't. know this then. off now there's a scene campus if you haven't seen it, if you don't. know this then. off now there's a scene where one of you don't. know this then. off now there's a scene where one of the characters.
you don't. know this then. off now there's a scene where one of the characters. to tell now there's a scene where one of the characters. to tell someone else. now there's a scene where one of the characters. to tell someone else. she is a now there's a scene where one of the characters. to tell someone else. she is a survivor now there's a scene where one of the characters. to tell someone else. she is a survivor of an the characters. to tell someone else. she is a survivor of an assault when she was younger.
and there's a and there's a good reason and there's a good reason for her to and there's a good reason for her to tell and there's a good reason for her to tell this other person. and there's a good reason for her to tell this other person. story like she has and there's a good reason for her to tell this other person. story like she has a reason. and there's a good reason for her to tell this other person. story like she has a reason. isn't and there's a good reason for her to tell this other person.
story like she has a reason. isn't so to tell this other person. story like she has a reason. isn't so that he knows. to tell this other person. story like she has a reason. isn't so that he knows. it's so that to tell this other person. story like she has a reason. isn't so that he knows. it's so that he like she has a reason. isn't so that he knows. it's so that he has like she has a reason. isn't so that he knows. it's so that he has context for a that he knows. it's so that he has context for a project they're working on together which is has context for a project they're working on together which is one way to put it.
If you've seen. working on together which is one way to put it. If you've seen. the working on together which is one way to put it. If you've seen. the show there's way to put it. If you've seen. the show there's there's something way to put it. If you've seen. the show there's there's something he needs to the show there's there's something he needs to know before he embarks on this project with. something he needs to know before he embarks on this project with. needs to know something he needs to know before he embarks on this project with.
needs to know that she something he needs to know before he embarks on this project with. needs to know that she is a he embarks on this project with. needs to know that she is a survivor and. he embarks on this project with. needs to know that she is a survivor and. She does that. he embarks on this project with. needs to know that she is a survivor and. She does that. so needs to know that she is a survivor and. She does that. so So well, needs to know that she is a survivor and. She does that.
so So well, i've never needs to know that she is a survivor and. She does that. so So well, i've never really seen. that on screen or even on that on screen or even on the page that on screen or even on the page before where she just says to him, that on screen or even on the page before where she just says to him, i'm about to that on screen or even on the page before where she just says to him, i'm about to tell you page before where she just says to him, i'm about to tell you something really heavy.
to him, i'm about to tell you something really heavy. you're gonna to him, i'm about to tell you something really heavy. you're gonna be tempted to him, i'm about to tell you something really heavy. you're gonna be tempted to something really heavy. you're gonna be tempted to sit in the heavy part. something really heavy. you're gonna be tempted to sit in the heavy part. just need to tell gonna be tempted to sit in the heavy part. just need to tell you the heavy gonna be tempted to sit in the heavy part.
just need to tell you the heavy part so we heavy part. just need to tell you the heavy part so we can get to the thing we heavy part. just need to tell you the heavy part so we can get to the thing we need to heavy part. just need to tell you the heavy part so we can get to the thing we need to get to. heavy part. just need to tell you the heavy part so we can get to the thing we need to get to. Um, the heavy part so we can get to the thing we need to get to. Um, she the heavy part so we can get to the thing we need to get to.
Um, she does the heavy part so we can get to the thing we need to get to. Um, she does it the heavy part so we can get to the thing we need to get to. Um, she does it is and the heavy part so we can get to the thing we need to get to. Um, she does it is and she the thing we need to get to. Um, she does it is and she says i've done all the thing we need to get to. Um, she does it is and she says i've done all this stuff. I've done. done all this stuff. I've done. work i've done the counseling you know done all this stuff.
I've done. work i've done the counseling you know i've done done all this stuff. I've done. work i've done the counseling you know i've done my done all this stuff. I've done. work i've done the counseling you know i've done my therapy done all this stuff. I've done. work i've done the counseling you know i've done my therapy i've work i've done the counseling you know i've done my therapy i've done my know i've done my therapy i've done my work. You know, I've done a lot of. done my work. You know, I've done a lot of.
work on this and i'm you know done my work. You know, I've done a lot of. work on this and i'm you know i'm i'm in a done my work. You know, I've done a lot of. work on this and i'm you know i'm i'm in a pretty a lot of. work on this and i'm you know i'm i'm in a pretty good place with a lot of. work on this and i'm you know i'm i'm in a pretty good place with it but it's a heavy you know i'm i'm in a pretty good place with it but it's a heavy thing for you to hear and I'm. place with it but it's a heavy thing for you to hear and I'm.
tell you and you're place with it but it's a heavy thing for you to hear and I'm. tell you and you're gonna be thing for you to hear and I'm. tell you and you're gonna be tempted to stay there and tell you and you're gonna be tempted to stay there and let's move tell you and you're gonna be tempted to stay there and let's move on tell you and you're gonna be tempted to stay there and let's move on It was. fantastic and on threads one fantastic and on threads one of the writers fantastic and on threads one of the writers of fantastic and on threads one of the writers of the show was engag.
fantastic and on threads one of the writers of the show was engag. people and fantastic and on threads one of the writers of the show was engag. people and i fantastic and on threads one of the writers of the show was engag. people and i and i the writers of the show was engag. people and i and i just said the writers of the show was engag. people and i and i just said i just have to say thank engag. people and i and i just said i just have to say thank you so much. said i just have to say thank you so much.
for writing that scene that said i just have to say thank you so much. for writing that scene that way and said i just have to say thank you so much. for writing that scene that way and if the so much. for writing that scene that way and if the writer of the books i so much. for writing that scene that way and if the writer of the books i don't know if that way and if the writer of the books i don't know if they're in the that way and if the writer of the books i don't know if they're in the books or not.
I assume. books i don't know if they're in the books or not. I assume. is actually books i don't know if they're in the books or not. I assume. is actually l books i don't know if they're in the books or not. I assume. is actually l kennedy thank the books or not. I assume. is actually l kennedy thank you. L Kennedy. the books or not. I assume. is actually l kennedy thank you. L Kennedy. it was so the books or not. I assume. is actually l kennedy thank you. L Kennedy. it was so validating actually l kennedy thank you.
L Kennedy. it was so validating that not Kennedy. it was so validating that not every survivor has to be. Kennedy. it was so validating that not every survivor has to be. depicted as at the that not every survivor has to be. depicted as at the beginning of the work. that not every survivor has to be. depicted as at the beginning of the work. and in that be. depicted as at the beginning of the work. and in that difficult be. depicted as at the beginning of the work. and in that difficult stage it of the work.
and in that difficult stage it actually shows this of the work. and in that difficult stage it actually shows this picture of. you can heal and you can heal and grow it'll you can heal and grow it'll always you can heal and grow it'll always be part of you but you can heal and grow it'll always be part of you but it you can heal and grow it'll always be part of you but it won't define you. It's not the. always be part of you but it won't define you. It's not the. important thing always be part of you but it won't define you.
It's not the. important thing about you. always be part of you but it won't define you. It's not the. important thing about you. it won't define you. It's not the. important thing about you. it was remarkable and won't define you. It's not the. important thing about you. it was remarkable and then won't define you. It's not the. important thing about you. it was remarkable and then later another important thing about you. it was remarkable and then later another spoiler important thing about you.
it was remarkable and then later another spoiler alert important thing about you. it was remarkable and then later another spoiler alert later in the show. something happens that does activate her something happens that does activate her Oh God. And it, and she. something happens that does activate her Oh God. And it, and she. into her something happens that does activate her Oh God. And it, and she. into her little she something happens that does activate her Oh God. And it, and she. into her little she goes activate her Oh God.
And it, and she. into her little she goes into it a activate her Oh God. And it, and she. into her little she goes into it a little she. into her little she goes into it a little bit understandably she. into her little she goes into it a little bit understandably So. but she also you we get but she also you we get to see her but she also you we get to see her decide that but she also you we get to see her decide that other things are more, I. but she also you we get to see her decide that other things are more, I.
important her decide that other things are more, I. important important than the her decide that other things are more, I. important important than the old her decide that other things are more, I. important important than the old feelings that more, I. important important than the old feelings that were activated more, I. important important than the old feelings that were activated by the. the old feelings that were activated by the. situation that there's something that activated by the. situation that there's something that matters more activated by the.
situation that there's something that matters more to her. activated by the. situation that there's something that matters more to her. that she wants activated by the. situation that there's something that matters more to her. that she wants this there's something that matters more to her. that she wants this and she doesn't want. um to um to be um to be incapacitated. um to be incapacitated. her past and um to be incapacitated. her past and she's done um to be incapacitated. her past and she's done enough healing work that um to be incapacitated.
her past and she's done enough healing work that she doesn't that she and she's done enough healing work that she doesn't that she can draw on. work that she doesn't that she can draw on. To move past that moment. Beautiful. It was beautiful. Beautiful. It was beautiful. i would i'm i might Beautiful. It was beautiful. i would i'm i might watch the Beautiful. It was beautiful. i would i'm i might watch the show again just to Beautiful. It was beautiful. i would i'm i might watch the show again just to see would i'm i might watch the show again just to see that I'm a little choked up.
again just to see that I'm a little choked up. amazing to see this again just to see that I'm a little choked up. amazing to see this young woman. again just to see that I'm a little choked up. amazing to see this young woman. not at the very little choked up. amazing to see this young woman. not at the very beginning of this young woman. not at the very beginning of her process, but later on. because it is possible because it is possible to because it is possible to heal and feel better. because it is possible to heal and feel better.
if because it is possible to heal and feel better. if stuff even because it is possible to heal and feel better. if stuff even if it because it is possible to heal and feel better. if stuff even if it doesn't go because it is possible to heal and feel better. if stuff even if it doesn't go away because it is possible to heal and feel better. if stuff even if it doesn't go away our and feel better. if stuff even if it doesn't go away our relationship to it can be very. it doesn't go away our relationship to it can be very.
different it doesn't go away our relationship to it can be very. different because you know our relationship to it can be very. different because you know our challenges relationship to it can be very. different because you know our challenges never go relationship to it can be very. different because you know our challenges never go away the fact different because you know our challenges never go away the fact that we went challenges never go away the fact that we went through them in the past, challenges never go away the fact that we went through them in the past, always be challenges never go away the fact that we went through them in the past, always be a fact challenges never go away the fact that we went through them in the past, always be a fact about us.
that we went through them in the past, always be a fact about us. our relationship that we went through them in the past, always be a fact about us. our relationship to past, always be a fact about us. our relationship to them can change past, always be a fact about us. our relationship to them can change over time. our relationship to them can change over time. And that is remarkable. our relationship to them can change over time. And that is remarkable. so my our relationship to them can change over time.
And that is remarkable. so my relationship change over time. And that is remarkable. so my relationship to good change over time. And that is remarkable. so my relationship to good things happening is remarkable. so my relationship to good things happening is changing over remarkable. so my relationship to good things happening is changing over time. I'm learning. good things happening is changing over time. I'm learning. skills i'm allowing good things happening is changing over time. I'm learning.
skills i'm allowing stuff i'm over time. I'm learning. skills i'm allowing stuff i'm observing myself not over time. I'm learning. skills i'm allowing stuff i'm observing myself not just experiencing. i'm allowing stuff i'm observing myself not just experiencing. difficult as these good i'm allowing stuff i'm observing myself not just experiencing. difficult as these good things myself not just experiencing. difficult as these good things happen in myself not just experiencing. difficult as these good things happen in my life and myself not just experiencing.
difficult as these good things happen in my life and my myself not just experiencing. difficult as these good things happen in my life and my anxiety difficult as these good things happen in my life and my anxiety spikes difficult as these good things happen in my life and my anxiety spikes and happen in my life and my anxiety spikes and I'm tempted to think that that's. happen in my life and my anxiety spikes and I'm tempted to think that that's. messages about me spikes and I'm tempted to think that that's.
messages about me and my spikes and I'm tempted to think that that's. messages about me and my capacity and spikes and I'm tempted to think that that's. messages about me and my capacity and it's not. that that's. messages about me and my capacity and it's not. It's possible. and my capacity and it's not. It's possible. choose the bigger life and my capacity and it's not. It's possible. choose the bigger life rule of It's possible. choose the bigger life rule of engagement number sixteen from life rule of engagement number sixteen from gretchen rubin choose life rule of engagement number sixteen from gretchen rubin choose the bigger life.
because uh sometimes you can because uh sometimes you can tell because uh sometimes you can tell it's works. because uh sometimes you can tell it's works. it's because uh sometimes you can tell it's works. it's worth because uh sometimes you can tell it's works. it's worth it so because uh sometimes you can tell it's works. it's worth it so that's what because uh sometimes you can tell it's works. it's worth it so that's what i'm gonna it's works. it's worth it so that's what i'm gonna leave you with.
that's what i'm gonna leave you with. Cadre. Um, if you're so interested, that's what i'm gonna leave you with. Cadre. Um, if you're so interested, off campus that's what i'm gonna leave you with. Cadre. Um, if you're so interested, off campus it's with. Cadre. Um, if you're so interested, off campus it's pretty good with. Cadre. Um, if you're so interested, off campus it's pretty good fun show. interested, off campus it's pretty good fun show. and it's got those interested, off campus it's pretty good fun show.
and it's got those moments in interested, off campus it's pretty good fun show. and it's got those moments in it that interested, off campus it's pretty good fun show. and it's got those moments in it that are pretty good fun show. and it's got those moments in it that are worth noticing.
