Dr. D briefly introduces herself, troubleshoots audio/connection and mentions her coffee setup. She invites the audience to join the informal conversation. The segment sets up why friendships are worth honoring and talking about.
Dr. D briefly introduces herself, troubleshoots audio/connection and mentions her coffee setup. She invites the audience to join the informal conversation.
She explains discovering National Best Friends Day and introduces her 'cup of tea with my bestie' idea. The segment sets up why friendships are worth honoring and talking about.
Dr. D describes recent social posts about women who stopped initiating contact to see if friends would respond and one woman's 'breakup' with her best friend. The story raises questions about mutual effort and authenticity.
She shares her strengths as a supportive, emotionally present friend and explains that her friends often serve as mirrors in different ways. This section explores differing roles friends play and whether relationships require balanced give and take.
Dr. D talks about having momentary besties like coworkers and the possibility of one long-term best friend if you grow together. She also gives permission that it's okay to find close friendships later in life.
She thanks viewers and the support team, hopes the live worked, and encourages everyone to call their best friend rather than only texting. The episode ends with a warm sign-off.
Cadre, it's me, Dr. D. I'm hoping this works again. We're going to keep trying every week until we get it right. I do have coffee, but it's in the other room because I was trying to find a space where it can pick up the Wi-Fi and I'm actually, I don't know if you can tell. I am just like in the curtains by the window because that seems to be the best spot. So I'm Gonna go with it. So join me on this journey today. But I don't know if you saw my post yesterday, but yesterday was, hey, speak wonder, yesterday was National Best Friends Day.
And I only knew that because a few years ago I started this, what I call a cup of tea with my bestie because I noticed the shift in how we connect with people and our best friends are probably sometimes our best friends are more intimate relationships than romantic partners. And I think that's for different reasons. But tell me what you think about this. But I know our best friends usually are the keeper of our secrets and they probably someone that we knew before our romantic partner and they have a lot of history with us and they probably have seen all the versions of us, good and bad, and they decided to stay.
Sometimes in romantic relationships, our romantic partners can see all these shifts too and decide that they don't want to stay and they don't have to and they will leave, but your best friend is always there. And so I think best friends, best friendships, I don't know how to say that, but that particular relationship is something that I believe needs to be cultivated and appreciated and honored. So when I found out about National Best Friends Day, I thought that's really cool. And why aren't we talking about this?
Why are we not celebrating friendship out loud? Okay. So let me get into another story for you. Lately on my feed, and I don't know if this is popping up because I need to talk about it or maybe, you know how sometimes you can get things on your algorithm, like on Instagram or the reels that you watch and it's like, oh, they're speaking to me, right? But lately in the last few days, I've noticed some videos of women in different ages, so younger women, even women, in their 30s or 40s and even older that are talking about the shift between them and their best friend.
And they noticed that they were giving more than what their friend was and they made a decision to pull away. And so they didn't necessarily ghost their best friend, but they stopped reaching out first as a test to see is their friend going to reach out to them. And they found that the longer they waited, they noticed that never changed. And so they started to question the genuineness of that relationship and that connection. And there was one girl in particular, she said she call it breaking up with her best friend.
She broke up with her best friend two years ago. and how she tested this theory of is my friend really my friend like I'm always reaching out to her I'm always inviting her to my events I'm always inviting her to spend time together but I never get the same initiation on on her side so she wanted to see what would happen and two years went by and her friend her friend never reached out and that made me question was that really a friend in the first place so Let's get into this conversation about what you require in a friendship.
And if you can, put something in the chat for me. So when I think about my own friendships, I am the type of friend that I want to show up for you no matter what you have going on. I know what my personal gifts are. I know how I can emotionally hold people I know I'm super supportive I'm a cheerleader and it feels good for me to be in that space for myself for someone else but I also recognize over time that my friends don't necessarily do that for me but it's because I don't necessarily need them to so my friends show up for me in different ways where I don't need them to be my cheerleader I don't need them to hold me emotionally but sometimes I do need them to give me space to like verbalize what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, or help me be creative or to remind me of who I am.
So most of the time I would say my friends serve as mirrors for me, but I don't need them to show up in these other ways that I show up for them. And so I'm wondering if that's been your experience, if your friendships are based on mutual give and take, like do you do the same things for each other? Or have you noticed that there are differences in how you're showing up in each other's lives? And that's what draws you together, right? So a lot of relationships, there's the, you know, the yin yang, right?
It's like, it's even, it's balanced. And so if it's going to be a balance in relationships, you can't be the same person. You can't be just like they are, although you might have a lot of things in common, maybe similar interests or similar things that I think the best moments in friendship is when you can laugh together and laugh at something where no one else knows why you're laughing. Like those secret conversations without words. Those are really special. And so those are, yes, you have commonalities, but the way you show for each other might be different.
So let me know your thoughts on that. But yeah, I wanted to talk about besties. And I've also noticed that I think there is a shift happening where your bestie can change as you change. Meaning you might have that one friend that has been in your life consistently for a long time and they really do know all your secrets. But then you might meet someone that is your bestie for a short time. Like maybe it's a coworker. It's like, that's my best friend. Like people say they have their work wives or work husbands, right?
Because in that space, that person is your best friend for that moment. And that doesn't mean that your best friend has to be the same person consistently throughout life. That's my thoughts on that. I don't know what people would say about that, but that's my philosophy. I think you can have a best friend for moments of your life, but I believe that if we allow it, if we give space to grow together, that there is a one person that is consistently your best friend throughout your life. But some people have late blooming in developing relationships.
And I'm noticing this shift with my son. He's now early 20s, and I think he's now in the space where he wants friendship, where before that wasn't even an interest of his, and now he's developing more close-lit relationships because now he knows more of who he is. So it's okay if you don't have a best friend. It's okay if you find that best friend later in life. And I'm giving you permission, give yourself the permission to know that your best friends can be for a short time. Okay. All right, y'all.
So Speak Wonder and Mel Myers, thank you for joining me. I hope this live stream worked the entire time. We will see. And hopefully there is a way to watch the replay. I know they're working behind the scenes. Shout out to Cadres team. Like they are amazing and we all have to be patient with them. So I hope you guys have a wonderful week. And if you have a bestie, make sure you talk to them. Okay. Like literally have a conversation. Don't just text them. Right. We need to hear each other's voices.
But you guys have a wonderful week and I'll see you next time. Bye.
