Rachel opens the live, does tech checks, and greets viewers while settling in. This short intro sets the informal, conversational tone for the rest of the stream. Rachel introduces the week's topic—slowing down—and frames it around the very relatable example of furnishing a new apartment.
Rachel opens the live, does tech checks, and greets viewers while settling in. This short intro sets the informal, conversational tone for the rest of the stream.
Rachel introduces the week's topic—slowing down—and frames it around the very relatable example of furnishing a new apartment. She explains her tendency to rush and nest, and why she's trying to give herself permission to move more slowly.
She shares concrete examples of impulsive purchases (wobbly tables, cheap appliances), how placeholders create extra work, and admits to slipping into online shopping. The segment highlights her learning process and the difficulty of resisting immediate needs.
Rachel ties her furnishing dilemma to the broader mental-health theme of tolerating in-between spaces and anxiety. She offers practical coping advice—especially the 24-hour pause before acting—and explains how delayed gratification can prevent reactive decisions.
She talks through budgeting, decorating choices, and practical tips like using command strips (humorously misnamed) and waiting to hang art until furniture placement is settled. These details show how small practical decisions can support the slower process she's aiming for.
Rachel announces she will step away from Cadre after June to avoid burnout and manage a new job, thanks the community, and reiterates her commitment to slowing down. She ends with warm goodbyes and a reminder about the 24-hour pause.
Hello. Just making sure this is working because when I just did it, like froze. So hopefully this is working. I'll wait and see if people can join. I got my apple. Okay, we're in business. Wow, that was a really in your face thumbs up. Sorry about that. I'm having a snack at 5:00. It's been one of the days, y'all. Hi, Rach. I wonder how many times people watch this back and can't see like your comments, Rachel, and think I'm just talking to myself when I say hi to you. Wow. We're almost done with June.
What's happening with time? It's very confusing to me. But we are here. Hi, Speak Wonder. Hello. Hi, Jules. Just wanted to say thanks for last week. Timing couldn't have been better. You're so welcome. You're so welcome. I'm really obsessed with the cadre topic this week because it feels very relevant. It's about slowing down and like what happens when you slow down, which is something I'm constantly working on. I feel like I talk about that a lot. But yeah, I am like constantly just like moving at the speed of light, hence having a snack at 5pm, like not giving myself a break.
and not slowing down and trying to do a lot of things at once. But something that I'm really working on when it comes to slowing down specifically, like to see what's possible. And this might feel this might seem like not mental health related, but but it is. Trust me, I'll loop it in is furnishing my apartment. So I am like a big nester when I move into a new place, when I get to a hotel room, Whenever I'm in a new physical environment, I like to immediately make myself feel at home, make myself feel cozy, make it feel like it's my space, my space.
And I tend to really rush that process because it's hard for me to live in the in between. And so I will buy pieces of furniture or pieces of art or, appliances or hardware or whatever it is, and I'll buy things and tell myself like this is good enough for now, meaning I just want to have something, even if it's not the right thing, even if it's not the thing I want, even if it's not the best functioning or working thing or in the best shape, just because I have a hard time not having it. So for example, like I'll buy a really, really shitty toaster, used toaster oven because I need a toaster or I'll buy a table that has a wobbly leg because I really need a table.
And then what ends up happening is I buy these placeholder items because I'm rushing, but then I'm still looking for those items because they're placeholders. So I'm not actually saving myself energy because I'm still looking for something. In fact, what I'm doing is creating more work for myself because once I do find an item that's actually the right thing, I then have to go through the process of getting rid of the placeholder. So I'm trying really hard this time around, especially because I'm starting from scratch, like zero furniture, to give myself permission to slow down and not impulsively buy things just because I need them.
I mean, obviously, I have things that I super need, dishware so I can eat and toilet paper, there's a, there's a fine line, but trying to give myself permission to slow down so that I can get things that like I actually love and that work. And that has been really hard. Like I definitely slipped a little bit this weekend and did like when I had an online shopping extravaganza and I was like, I gotta get all this stuff. I can't not have X, Y, and Z. I can't not have a dresser. I can't not have a kitchen table.
I got to get it all. I got to get it all. And I'm already feeling like I really why did I buy that? Like I'm trying to cancel some stuff I ordered because like I bought something that wasn't really exactly what I wanted or needed. So I'm learning as I go, but I'm very, very excited to see what happens if I allow myself to slow down and to see what what kind of space I will create for myself if I let myself slow down. And I have noticed, this is where we tie it into the mental health, that in the moments when I feel that rush of I got to do it now, I got to do it now, like that is so much anxiety and so much discomfort with being in that middle space.
Like it's discomfort with Yeah, it's discomfort with being in the middle. And ironically, that's what I write about all the time is that messy middle space of how do we-- because that is life, right? There are so many times in life when we're in between, whether it's like we're in transition or we're grieving something we've lost and we don't have something new that sort of fills that space of the thing we lost. or a really big change or when we're between jobs or between relationships or whatever it is, like we're constantly in life in these in-between spaces where we're not.
We're not in the after yet and we've left the before and we're in the middle. And it's hard, it's really hard to be in that space. It's very hard mentally, it's very hard emotionally. And so we look for ways to control that anxiety, to control that uncertainty. And oftentimes that manifests in lots of different ways. We all cope with it really differently. And so I'm trying to give myself permission to like, be in that discomfort and trust myself enough to trust that by going slow, I'm going to do it right for myself.
There's not like a right or wrong way of period, but like right for me. And and that's it's different. It's really different for me. Like it's not normally how I operate and. Yeah, it's it's. It's something that I want to do just in general in my life is to slow down because I don't I can't remember if I talked about this last week, but I I made a little like Instagram reel and edited like a bunch of clips of me like moving in and I was watching back all the clips I recorded and I was just like oh my god like watching myself in these videos was stressing me out because of how fast I'm moving like I can see myself in these videos like doing a doing a lot at once moving moving like really really quickly and I was just like girl you're stressing me out like stress myself out watching these videos back being like you are you're moving so fast.
Like there is no need. There is no need to rush hanging that shower curtain or like unwrapping that mattress like you can slow down. And so I think that like in general in my life, I operate at high speed and it doesn't always serve me. I think it serves me Sometimes in that I get a lot done, but then I'm burned out. I'm exhausted. I don't do things well because I'm rushing or I'm doing multiple things at once. And so in the moment, it can feel like, oh yeah, by going fast, I'm actually being more productive.
I can rest sooner because I'm getting things done faster. But then I actually need to rest harder because I'm moving too quickly and I'm doing too much. So yes, Jules, delayed gratification. I am really, really trying to work on delayed gratification. That's exactly right. And so yeah, it's super hard. Hang on, let me read these comments really quickly. Air mattress for the win. Himpulse buying is hard. Yeah. Have you tried waiting like a day when you find something that will work? Oh, that pause.
I yes, that is such a good reminder. It's a really, really good skill, like implementing that pause. I have used this a lot when it comes to dating, like that 24 hour rule. Like if I'm having anxiety about like texting someone I'm dating or making a decision about if I want to keep seeing someone, not quite sure how I feel about them or not quite sure about how I feel about what someone has said. This also applies to like conflict, like if I'm having an argument with someone. and I'm like feeling very emotional and notice myself like wanting to respond right away, like get 24 hours, like wait 24 hours.
If you feel the exact same way tomorrow, great. Send that message, send that e-mail, buy that piece of furniture, whatever it is. But like chances are you might feel differently in 24 hours, right? So I think that's a that's a really good I should write that on a post-it. Thank you. Delayed gratification 24 hour pause or 24 hour rule. I like that. That's really smart. Not that I've been able to buy anything forever, but in the past, yeah, this is like the first time in my life where I've had a job that allows me to buy things that are not free or like really, really used and cheap, which is a blessing.
And I am feeling grateful and I think I think slowing down will help me also figure out how to properly budget because I also don't know how to do that very well. Also having some things that make you happy on the walls is good. That's an easy, yeah. Yes, I ordered some Commando strips. My dad, because I was talking, the walls in my new place are like the, it's like cement and they're kind of like, I don't know if you can see, but it's like that rough textured thing. So I don't know like if I can I'm just like anxious about nailing stuff in.
And so he was like, just get some commando strips. So I have like, I placed my art on the floor like where I want like on the walls that where I want for them to go onto the walls. And hopefully my commando strips come tomorrow and I can start hanging art because that does help. I don't know about you though. Like I feel like I want to wait to hang art until I know where the furniture is because sometimes the way I place it or like how high it goes is determined by the furniture that's against the wall or in the room.
So some things I'm waiting until I know that. But yeah, that does really help. And the commando strips, like you can just pull it off and redo it. So always helps to hear from someone else. Commando strips. Are they just command strips? Why did I think they were commando strips? Oh my God. That's so embarrassing. I don't know. I want to go with commando strips. That's so funny. Command strips. Ow. Well, the more you know, the more you know. Yeah. So anyways, slowing down. Let's see what's possible.
And hopefully, like I said, haven't been perfect at it, but it's a progress. It's a process. It's a process. And I'm progressing. There is progress. What are words? Progresso. The other thing that I wanted to share with y'all and I like I will say this again next week for anyone that wasn't here but as you know I got a new job and my hope was that while I had this new job I'd be able to handle all of my like side things like being on cadre and freelancing and it's been a challenge in the last like two months to try and juggle all of it and I fear that if I continue to try and juggle it all I will burn out so I've already spoken with the team at Cadre and sadly I, after June, won't be a contributor here, at least for the time being while I figure out my new schedule and my load, like my workload.
So next week will be my last live stream on Cadre. And I'm really sad because it's been such a joy to be part of this community and get to know you all and connect with you. But I know that you're in good hands with the people that are here and you know that you can find me elsewhere. But please keep using this app. It is such a beautiful space. And if my, you know, if my bandwidth increases or if, you know, once I figure out how to have a Monday through Friday nine to five and have the energy for other things, I will absolutely be back.
But I'm still figuring out how to I had to keep my my day balanced and not burn out and I have to take care of myself so I just wanted to let you know personally and I will make a reminder next week too but maybe you should just do it oh my god please be that would be so great can you just be Rachel yes just yes that's I'm here for it I would love that Rachel just becomes Rachel and goes live that would be amazing Why not? You should. You should. So yes, I will be here still next week, but it will be my last week.
And that's yeah, that's my spiel today. I love you all so much and I'm really glad you're here and I'm proud of you. And yeah, let's keep the delay to gratification the 24 hour pause, 24 hour rule, command strips. I'm gonna keep saying commando strips. I can't not. Love you all dearly and I'll see you next week. For the last time. For now. For now. Okay, love you. Bye.
