Jen Varale samples a non-alcoholic Negroni Spritz and shares first impressions. She then explores rest and stillness in sobriety, discussing societal pressure and guilt around taking time to rest.
Jen welcomes viewers, introduces her dog Copper, and presents a sponsored non-alcoholic Negroni Spritz she received from Little Saints. She tastes the drink and shares initial impressions.
Jen transitions from the drink to the episode's focus on rest and stillness, noting societal pressures, busyness, and posing questions about how people experience rest and guilt around resting.
Hello, hello. Welcome in. My dog's here too. His name is Copper. He's a golden doodle. You can follow him on Copper Doodle Roo on Instagram if you like. Yeah. Hi, Speak Wonder. Hi everyone. Yeah, Jen Varale here. Sober, not somber hour. And yeah, here we are in June. Happy June. You know, I saw someone post the other day that we were at halfway day and I don't think that's right. I think July 1st is halfway day. Like, let's not speed things up, right? I don't know. To me, May 31st marked the completion of five months.
of 2026. So halfway day, I don't think it's until July 1st. I don't know. Check me on that. But anyway, regardless, welcome to June. It is hot and steamy in Minneapolis. Let me know where you're logging in from and how your week's going. Thumbs up sort of in between or sort of at a low point. I've experienced all ups and downs already this week since yesterday and it's only Tuesday. So in Sober Not Somber hour, if you've joined before, if you're watching the replay, what I love to do is talk about a sober celebrated life.
I have 11 years of sobriety and I also highlight some favorite non-alcoholic beverages as we talk about the subject at hand. So today as we get started, I've got this little goodie from Megan Klein, she's the founder. of Little Saints and they do products in non-alcoholic beds that have a slight adaptogen component to it. So they happen to have a functional blend of reishi, mushroom and botanical terpenes and they say it was formulated to arouse positive emotions and inspire unordinary evenings.
Okay, here we go. How's that for a happy hour? Marketing, right? Like what are we promising people here? I don't know if a drink can deliver that much. I sort of question that, but here we go. We're going to try it. This is the non-alcoholic Negroni Spritz. Comes in like an 8 ounce, fluid ounce bottle. One serving per can and it's only 5 calories. So drink up. Cheers, speak, wonder. Anyone else who's coming in, welcome. Oh, wow. That is interesting. I would say. Oh, wow. Mixed mixed feelings on that one.
And again, I usually have tried and what I do recommend in my other shares are things that I've usually tried and love. Verdict is out on this one. Monk fruit juice, citric acid. Yeah, we'll see if as I sip it, it starts to do its work anyway. So yeah, today I would love to talk with you all about rest. And I was thinking about the idea of stillness and sobriety. And I'd like to just pose that question today because rest and what we need to sort of do in general in society to allow ourselves to rest or feel not guilty about resting when we need to is huge.
I just guided people at a retreat this weekend and we were talking about rest and how so few people actually feel like they get the rest they need? Or if they are resting, do they feel like it's guilt free rest? Like, yeah, I'm resting, but I'm also missing out on maybe some work that I could be doing or my kids need me or all these other long list of things that never seem to go away that we could always be human Busy bodies, right? Like I think we can just always keep doing. So this idea of stillness and rest came up this weekend.
And yeah, like I said, I just want to pose the question to you. Like where where are your stories about rest and being able to take rest? Where do they come from? And as we started digging into this with the group this weekend, and what I ask you to do is thinking about maybe your childhood or when you were first modeled to, what actual rest meant. And for some people in our group, that meant seeing a parent take a nap like midday on the couch when they were exhausted from work or all the demands of life and seeing them take that unapologetically led to some good behaviors around the people that I was guiding.
They were saying it led to some good behaviors for them. However, they've created some news stories about rest given society today, which means we have access to work 24/7, our laptops are open, we're working at night, we're working in between all the places in the past where we might have paused or had conversations with people because we are so connected to work. And to get away from the busyness and the human doing and to embrace a human being and what that means is even more difficult. And so relating this to early sobriety, I was thinking about the busyness of always figuring out when am I gonna be able to have like my next drink?
Who am I with? How am I carving out time and getting all the things done so I can spend time drinking? And that took up a lot of space. I did not allow myself time for rest. And in active addiction, that just looks like you just keep going and you never have time to process or truly rest. And the impact that has. Someone in my guided sauna said, I've been on like the rat race, the corporate rat race for two decades, over 2 decades and absolutely burned myself out. And he said, now that I know what it is to rest, because he had been let go of that company, Now that I know what it is to rest, I will not be going back into that version of myself or that way that I looked at rest as reward, or I could only rest on a certain time during the weekend.
And if I needed rest, I didn't allow myself to take it. So the toll that takes on the body and being able to successfully transition and process things in your life. There's just a lot of unprocessed things that can happen over 2 decades in his case that he sort of just stuffed down and just kept working because he was on the corporate ladder and another person shared that as well. So I just wanted to call that out to everyone that You know, rest is, it can be hard to come by and we can have deep seated stories about how we allow ourselves to rest or not.
I know rest was confusingly modeled to me through parents who happen to just be extremely productive in their life and work. However, I would see my dad take a 15 minute nap every day during his lunch break. And then he always worked very hard like during the day and would come home and do things outside and with his hands. He was always busy. So I think I kind of took some of his activity and always moving the movement piece to heart with how I am in the world. But I also love that I now I will take naps.
I rarely feel guilty about them because I I'm changing my relationship with rest and I understand that I'm more productive and I am better as a person and can be more creative if I am well rested. So I just encourage you to think about that today. And obviously for my story, you know, connected to sobriety, I always say I slept the first year of sobriety. I just was like, oh my gosh, this is what good quality sleep looks like and feels like. It's amazing. We had some moms in the room who had younger kids still at home and they said one of the gifts that was given to them was, you know, their family or their husband said go on this weekend and, you know, leave the kids with me.
You need the rest. So Rest can be not only a gift to ourself, but if we see others who may need a rest, may need help, I think one of the biggest things we can do is encourage them to do that. And it could mean supporting them in a way that, you know, maybe you're bringing a dinner that you've made to a busy mom so that she can have just, you know, a couple moments of rest to herself. Makes a huge difference. So yeah, I'd encourage you to think about maybe journal about your origin stories about rest.
Where did they come from? Did they come from your parents? Did they come from, you know, someone in your life who was very active or, or someone who really modeled rest and confidently was like, I'm taking it, I need it and I'm going to take it. And here are the steps I'm going to take to make sure I am well rested. So let's all do that. I think we could all use a little bit more of that and carving out space for rest that isn't based on reward or doing, but just being and just feeling into what we need.
So that's my share for the day, everyone. It's not too late to go take a nap. I'd encourage that. Thank you. We'll see you next week. Cheers.
