The speaker greets viewers, introduces herself as Speak Wonder from Pennsylvania, and announces the episode theme 'Harbor Pilots.' She hints at a mishap she plans to discuss and asks for engagement from the audience.
The host describes recent fraudulent activity that compromised her bank information and explains how a prior incident in 2023 was even worse. She summarizes the mitigation steps taken so far, including freezing accounts and reissuing cards.
She explains how fraud departments help speed resolution and recounts a calm, helpful meeting with a bank representative named Nate. The host emphasizes that approaching the situation with curiosity and calmness helped prevent panic and made the interaction more effective.
Quoting Jon Kabat-Zinn, she outlines mindfulness as befriending oneself and responding with curiosity instead of panic, and strategy instead of fear. She encourages avoiding self-blame and choosing curiosity to learn from the event rather than harboring anger.
Using the harbor pilot metaphor, she celebrates friends and professionals who came alongside to steer her to safety, from a friend who urged immediate action to the bank agent and her daughter who offered practical and emotional support. She notes she'll meet more helpers as she notifies creditors and continues resolving the situation.
She reflects on the mental-health benefits of the Cadre community, reports being able to focus on her mother's 95th birthday thanks to the help she received, and invites viewers to upcoming shows. The episode closes with warm thanks, affirmations, and a farewell.
Hmm. It says unstable. What does that mean? I think I've entered the live stream. Can, uh, you send me some hearts if you see me? There's Emily. I think that means we've gone live. Yippee Skippy! Hello everybody, come on in. This is Thursday, I'm your girl. Harbor Pilots, um, is my theme. I'm known here on the Quadrosphere as Speak Wonder and I hail from the fine state of Pennsylvania in Erie next to the lake, next to one of the Great Lakes. Thanks for being here. Caregiver Day. Gracie's glad to see you too.
Hi Gracie. Can you just kind of calm down a minute? I guess she wants to be on the cadre today. All right, you guys, I've got something to report that's going to make you mad alongside me. But I want to tell you how I dealt with it. In fact, I don't want to spend so much time on the mishap as I do on how I dealt with it. We'll see how that goes. I'm still kind of upset have you been a victim of a scam any kind of money grabbing hack I I think a lot of us have um I was also victimized um through a fraudulent portal on e-mail um in 2023 that was a lot worse than this most recent one on Tuesday and I actually went to a legitimate store asked for help and the agent inadvertently gave me information that ended up compromising my bank account.
So it wasn't malicious from the human being that delivered the information but the person waiting on the other end had malicious intent. And so This became a week to be a caregiver of myself, of my soul, my psyche, my well-being. And recently I had run across this wonderful quote by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It says, Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience. Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience. It's entering a circumstance with curiosity instead of panic.
It's coming into a difficulty with strategy instead of fear. I was able to apply mindfulness to this scenario and I do believe I save myself from working up to an unnecessary level of panic. The scam was mitigated. It was interrupted. And so far as I know, on this day, which is Thursday, May 7th, 2026, you love my hat. Do you love my hat? As of today, I don't think one penny has been taken that hasn't already been replenished because I did all the things. I froze my bank, stopped my cards. I'm in the process of having cards reissued, all my account numbers had to be reestablished with brand new numbers to protect me.
Fraud has become so rampant that banks now have fraud departments. You probably knew that and they've probably existed for a long time because fraud existed before it was online. Fraud has always been around. Good morning, good morning. Good morning, thank you. Junk food's on. So banks typically have had fraud mitigator people in place for a long time and because of that the process of restoring your accounts and getting things set right is a lot quicker. m. Eastern. I waltzed in there and asked for a teller or a banker who could help me with my recent fraud case.
And he sat down with me and his demeanor was calm, collected. And I had, as I've told you, been befriending the experience rather than being angry at it, looking at it with curiosity instead of chaos and figuring things out with a sense of calm instead of anger. And it was remarkable. Things are not completely resolved. Far from it, in fact. I have to go to my creditors either through a phone call or an e-mail or some means of communication to warn them that when they go to debit money from my account they won't be able to because everything has been locked temporarily and then very soon we'll have those new account numbers and I have to give them the new account number all the things all the things there's so many layers I see this experience as informing me for the next time because y'all we have to stay alert and we have to stay ahead of the game if possible.
When we have a cyber experience that wants your money, that wants to manipulate you or to get your information, you become wiser for the next round and perhaps can stop it before it starts. So I want to tell you that something that's echoed in my head since Tuesday when the hack happened are some things that I hear here on the cadre. Things that are echoing in my heart of hearts. One thing is JC often will say, I hope you're having a good day. If you're not, that's okay. It's okay not to be okay.
And I need that validation because We can't roll around life in a happy sparkly bubble all the time. It wouldn't be real. It wouldn't be human. It wouldn't be gritty and organic as life does unfold itself in many ways. I like that about JC. I also like it when Miss Shannon Paul says, I hope the day is treating you right. If it isn't, shame on the day, not on you. Isn't that a wonderful turn of phrase? So often if something goes south or plunges left or yanks me out of my safe harbor into the choppy open sea at no notice, if that happens, I blame myself.
I don't know if you do that. I find ways to say, well, if I had done this or if I hadn't done this, if I noticed this, We can sometimes be extra hard on ourselves when in fact it's the day that has been the offender. Something that happened, another human being with malicious intent got to me. Shade on them, not on me. But I don't want to spend a lot of time with hatred in my heart toward the person that did the crime. It's an energy sapper. Instead, I'd rather lean in with curiosity and say, what did I learn from this?
And how can I befriend this experience instead of... shun it or ignore it or wish it weren't so. Again, I'd like to read that quote. Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience, being kind to ourselves, looking at the experience, being curious about how it unfolded. And you know what I've noticed in this whole deal? What's really come to the front for me are my harbor pilots. I love to talk about harbor pilots in caregiving, in life, in the metaphor of other boats coming alongside to steer us into safety, to help us find the pier where we belong, and to help us find shelter and respite so that when we're ready we can launch out to the open harbor and then the open sea.
Harbor pilots are wonderful. You have friends who are there for you. Those are your harbor pilots. I went out to dinner as scheduled that night after the hack and my friend, my harbor pilot, said to me, we're going to the store where this first began. We're going directly there. We will not be going to your house first. I had different plans for the evening. This harbor pilot said, we are going to start resolving this problem ASAP. What a lovely harbor pilot to guide me to where I needed to be. Different people have come to the front as helpers.
Yeah. The bank fraud gentleman at my bank, his name is Nate, as I said, he became a harbor pilot to me this morning. When he got in his vessel, which knows the waters of fraud and the myriad coves and caves and unseen things under the water, sandbars, he knows what to avoid, what to steer around. And he gently, in a very calm voice, professional, warm voice, guided me through the steps I need to take to protect myself and my bank accounts from further destruction. Harbor pilot. I'm sure there are others.
My daughter is a harbor pilot. I told her what happened and she didn't make me feel badly. She didn't say, well, how could you have not noticed this? because those accusing voices were already starting to rapid fire go through my head. And she stopped that by treating me as a real person who was a real crime victim. Harbor pilot. I'm sure I'll encounter more harbor pilots as I contact my creditors and say this is why. my money wouldn't come to you because of this and it will be resolved soon, that type of thing.
When we have a perspective that doesn't self-blame, when we have a perspective that is curious instead of chaotic, when we have a demeanor that is calm instead of fearful, we see new things. We see different things come to the surface. I'm so glad for this mental health space called Cadre. I feel like I belong here as a contributor and as a consumer. Each and every 100% of the time I join one of the lives or do a replay, there is a benefit to my health, to my well-being, to my perspective on life.
There's education, there's reassurance, and there's validation. in the quadrisphere. As a result of getting this turned around fairly quickly, I can concentrate tomorrow on my mom's birthday. My mom, June, known to the nursing home as Junie Bug, she's just a cutie. She's turning 95 tomorrow. 95 trips around the sun. 95. seasons of the four seasons in the calendar year. Very special lady. We have been actively doing a card shower. We meaning myself, my siblings, my kids, my friends, my neighbors, people mom doesn't even know have been sending her cards and the goal is to achieve 95 card count.
We're as of Monday, I think we're around 60 plus and she has reported to me that we've had a lot of cards come in this week to the home. Haven't seen her for a few days, so I'm not sure of the current count. Tomorrow we'll get it and I think it's going to be 95 plus. That's my optimism on full tilt. but I think she's going to go over the mark of 95 and I believe she'll have some cards trickling in. And who doesn't love that? Who doesn't love a birthday that is extended by more cake and more cards in the ensuing days after the actual day?
Yeah, so Mama was born in 1931. She's turning 95, May 8th tomorrow. And because of the harbor pilots who have come alongside to help steer me out of this strange and choppy water of being um scammed because of the people assisting me I can now turn my vessel toward my mom and sail toward her and fully and completely enjoy her birthday celebration tomorrow peonies are in season here they're just starting to bloom and I found a bouquet in the store where they're a little more advanced and you know they I don't know what they do they force the bloom they do something and I have peonies to take to mom she loves those she also loves lily of the valley lots of wildflowers and I just totally look forward to a fully immersed joyful day Caregiving certainly has its ups and downs and I'm so glad we arrived at 95 with mom still on the planet Earth, still with her humor, her influence, and I cherish every moment.
We all have different caregiving scenarios and I bless you and commend you with yours. I invite you too to join Shannon Paul, Ms. Shannon, with Comedy Through the Chaos later today. And then Rachel Havacast with Rachel's Room. And also later today, Adria Gerber joins us for a talk on boundaries building. So check into the cadre for those times in your time zone. And remember, if you're unable to watch it live, you can always do the replay. And then there's this wonderful category. When you get on the Cadre home page, there's a place where you can tap and look at all the categories and choose a pre-recorded video that will just bless your heart.
I love you and I leave you. Go and continue being human today because you're marvelous, you're worthy, and your place in this world matters. I will see you next week in the harbor for harbor pilots on the Cadre.
