Still Here W/Roe

Hello, Hello, Cadre fam. Welcome, welcome. Give people a second to roll in here. Good morning. Good morning. Happy Tuesday. Welcome, welcome. Still here with Ro today. Got a new day, new time. Tuesday, 9:30am Every week. I was on Monday for a minute, Monday Motion. The timing was a little bit of a pinch. I was forcing it to make it work because I really love this space. But I had to reorganize and find a new time. So if you're new to seeing this face, I am Ro. I was currently Mondays for a while, had to switch it up.

Now I'm doing Tuesdays, 9:30. So Monday motion wouldn't sound right on a Tuesday. So we're doing still here with Ro on Tuesday, 9:30. For anyone that's new hasn't seen my face or know me at all, my name is Rolando. I go by Ro. Coach Row rose 612 according to my Instagram handle. Hey, Jen, what's up? What's up? Good morning. Excited to be back. Took a little bit of time off some, a couple schedule changes and just kind of getting some things in alignment. And I'm back, super excited to jump in here because I love the Cadre space.

So let's get to it today. What I like to start things off with is if you're in here, I would greatly appreciate if you can give me a number and kind of gauge how your day is going, how you're morning from 1 to 1 through 10. Ten being it's the best day ever. One being is like, I shouldn't. I didn't want to wake up Mac now, essentially. Anyways, this week, what the theme that kept coming to mind and that was been around is PA Attention, right? Paying attention to us, the things around us, who we are, areas of development and all the things that just make up us.

Right? For me, for example, one of the things that came to mind was the idea and the fact that as I was looking back, okay, what do I want to focus on for this year or the season right now? Not necessarily tying into the whole year, but right now is paying attention to certain things that make me happy or unhappy or might have, you know, have some trauma interwoven through it. All, right? And for me, it was that one of the things is that I learned how to read a room before I learned how to be a kid.

Right? I learned how to read a room before I learned how to be a kid. And you know, I thought I was always intuitive, but no, it's like, congratulations, new level, unlocked emotional radar before your multiplication tables and Growing up, I thought, I can laugh about it now because there's a lot of healing that came in place, right? But growing up, I thought I was gifted, right? I thought I was just this intuitive guy, intuitive kid, smart, all these things. But there was a lot of trauma that was underneath it, right?

I thought it was a gift, but it wasn't. It was just safe not to be, you know, not to know how to read rooms. For me, growing up with parents and family members that were in an addiction, suffering from substance use, mental health, underdiagnosed mental health issues, abusive behavior, and just overall chaos. Every time I walked into a room, I had to read the room, right? I had to pay attention to eye movement, the sound of someone's voice, the tonality. I had to. I had to pay attention to the way their bodies move in, the way their.

Their demeanors, how hard they shut the door, all these things. And I had to learn these early on, right away because I didn't know which version of this person that I was getting, right? Whether it was aunt, uncle, mom, dad. I didn't know which version I was getting because they're suffering from all these things. And most of the time before learning that I didn't know what version I was getting until it was too late, right? Too late meant someone was getting hurt. Too late meant abuse. Too late meant that there was abuse.

That has nothing to do with me, right? What's up, Luke? I see you. So I adapted, right? I learned how to read rooms before I was. Before I learned how to be a kid. I see family members and all these other people that it could be a toxic and volatile situation. And it was up me from my own safety to learn how to read the room, to learn the conversation that's going on, the eye movements, the. The mannerisms, the body movements. And I had to do this to assess my own level of safety, right? And I adapted to that.

If I saw danger, I disappeared out of sight, out of mind, unseen, unheard, out of the way. All the things and that, you know, it taught me to read a room everywhere I go. And if I saw an opportunity for safety, I stayed small. And I tried to stay present in that moment. But moving on over into the adult years, this skill followed me into adulthood. And it became one of those things where now I'm not just being. I'm not just that intuitive guy, I'm not just, you know, the people's guy. But, like, what I was really being at this time was hyper vigilant, right?

Something that I learned early on Safety as an adolescent carried on to my adulthood. And I thought I was just, you know, I. It was a gift, right? Hyper vigilance, that word. Actually, I like to do this when I, when I, when there's certain words that I label things because I like to label things because then I know what I'm facing. But this word hyper vigilance, I say it all the time, I hear it. But like to hear the actual definition just, it does something to me, right? Hypervigilance is a state of heightened alertness, a survival mechanism where the brain constantly scans for threats, often as a learned response to trauma, leading to chronic anxiety, irritability, difficulty concentrating, sleep problems being easily started, startled, and physical symptoms like rapid heart or muscle tension.

And here as an adult, 34 years old, 35 now, I thought it was just the caffeine. I thought it was just me being a good guy, me being intuitive, being in these rooms where, like, I'm just have caffeine racing through me or, you know, all these other things that were sitting on top of the fact that I was being hyper vigilant because of the trauma I was exposed to growing up, where I had to learn how to read rooms, I had to learn how to adapt. Not having the language to describe what I was feeling or what I was lacking or what I was going through to fix it until later on.

And later on, growing up, right, as an adult, like in growing up because of these things, it felt like a gift, right? Because I could easily, you know, I can get along with people. I can, you know, I knew how to stay safe. I. I seem like I had it all buttoned up, but in the inside, like, I'm constantly scanning and I'm constantly bracing all these things and looking back on it. It wasn't maturity that was a trauma response. It was a trauma response that worked too well. It was the tool that worked and paying attention to it.

Paying attention. There's that type of act, no pun intended, but paying attention to taught me how to survive, but it didn't teach me how to rest. It didn't. It didn't teach me how to just exist and be at peace with the people around me, the people I care, the people I love, with I love. And that's what stuck out to me for this theme of reset and paying attention, right? Like I said, I'm not a big, you know, new year, new me, but there is new year, new opportunities for growth, for development. For me, another one is learning how to be financially frugal harder than I thought.

Turns out money doesn't grow on trees kind of. But this is the paying attention, creating. I had to create a safe space for myself to sit down and analyze the things in my life. Like, okay, what's running the show right now? What's calling the shots? When I'm feeling anxious in a room full of people that I care about and I love and nothing is wrong, why am I anxious? Why is my heart racing? Why am I constantly why I relax? And this actually just happened the other day at Embrace north, which I go to five or six times a week.

And I would go into the sauna, sit there for five minutes and bail. And then I'd go to the, the cold plunge for about a minute or so, do the same. But like the whole time I'm sitting there, I come and create the space for me to relax. But I'm constantly scanning for danger, for this or for that. And as I've been paying attention to it, I'm noticing the places that I specifically carved out for my own well being, health and wellness, that some of those things still lag over. There's still vestiges of those trauma responses.

And I, I was aware of them before, but as I'm paying attention to them and being intentional about it, I'm like, oh, this is deeper than I thought. So I have to ask myself continually, like, is this trauma? Is this grief, is this loss? Is this something that I learned as a childhood that never got updated? Am I mentally or emotionally still working with Windows 98 when we got MacBooks and DJI cameras and all this other stuff? So that aspect of paying attention involves one of the hardest things for me to do and that's slowing down and just existing.

Getting away from social media, getting away from the phone, friends, even the dog for a little bit, shout out Asoft. I put him away for this. He doesn't know how to keep quiet when I'm on the screen. But for me, paying attention saved my life. But it also, on the other hand, it stole my childhood. It robbed me of my childhood. And that's, that's the reality of it. But I don't look at it as defeat. I look at it as, hey, this is a new year, a new area in life where I'm at a stable, safe and emotionally healthy spot in my life where I can go dig this up and deal with it.

I get a chance to do something about it, right? And when it comes to January 1st runs around, it's a new year, new opportunity to reset. And this is the things I'm paying attention to. Paying attention to where I'm at emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, in all spaces. I can't just blame all my irritability on caffeine. So Shameless admitted their calf middle caffeine is. It's top tier for me sometimes. We're working on it. So I ask you two things today. Drop in the chat, 1 till 10, 1 to 10 scale.

How are you doing today to check in with yourself, Pay attention to yourself mentally, physically, where's your irritability, anxiety, all these things and give yourself a number. Ten is, this is the best state ever. I'm gonna win the lottery, right? And I hope you do. And one is, you know what? I shouldn't have got out of bed. Maybe I should reach out to a friend type deal. We all have those days. I'm at about an 8. Drop that chat, drop that in the chat or just take a mental recollection of the number where you're at.

And then also what are some. What is that you might not, you know, you're paying attention to? Or what is something in your life right now that you know is there that you're not paying attention to? Let's ask it that way. What's something in your life going on that you know is there? That's an issue that you're not paying attention to. You don't have to drop in the chat even for you can if you want, but I just challenge you, even drop it in the chat, like, hey, I got one right? But I challenge you to take a take a minute, take five minutes, ten minutes, whatever your schedule allows to sit, exist, technology free and just exist in your own, in your own space and ask yourself, is there anything in my life that I'm avoiding?

It's a new year. We get a chance to reset and pay attention to ourselves and get ready for what comes tomorrow. I am Coach Ro. This is my new Tuesday time. I appreciate you guys sharing the space with me. I'm glad to be back. I got a new time. You're going to be seeing me a little bit more. You're probably get tired of me, but you'll be all right. Other than that, have a great day. If you're under 10, I hope your day turns into a 10 by the end of the day. So considering all the things we're dealing with in the community and in the world today, we all get the chance to be a ray of sunshine in a cloud in cloudy times.

So that's a responsibility. I have joy. I'm gonna go out and share it with the world, and a lot of people aren't happy, so I'm gonna spread the joy that I do have. So grateful for you guys. Have a great day and see you next week.