Comedy Through The Chaos

Hello everybody. Happy Thursday to you Cadre Sphere. I hope that the day is treating you well. If it is not, shame on it. Not shame on you. Hi Everybody, I am Ms. Shannon Paul. A variety of word related things as far as my career goes. I'm a comedian and corporate speaker and a voice actor and event MC and a benefit auctioneer. I'll be benefit auctioneering this Saturday in effect supporting an organization in town called Laura Baker Services. They work with our Northern hello Speak Wonder. Hello Speak Wonder.

I was just saying that Junk food Junkie. Good to see you as well. I'll have to look for your post. I I don't know if I missed one, but hello to both of you. I was just mentioning that as far as the benefit auctioneer, sign of the things that I do and thank you for the hearts. I appreciate you. I am supporting as a benefit auctioneer this Saturday organization here in Minnesota called Laura Baker Services and they support our friends with developmental disabilities from youth to aged in the southern part of Minnesota.

So I'm happy to be supporting them this weekend. Hello the Witness. Good to see you as well. The Witness you. That is a good screen name and very in alignment with what Speak Runner was talking about earlier today. So I encourage you to go check out her post here in the Cadre Sphere and Speak Wonder. Before I move on, I do want to say much love and hugs to you my friend during this very difficult time that you and your family are going through regarding your cousin. So thank you for sharing that and peace to you while he is going through all of that.

So speaking of going through a lot of what you may hear us talking about as we are wrapping up 2026. You're welcome my friend. As we were wrapping up 2025 and moving into 2026 is that concept of gratitude and reflection and those things. And so here in this week's Comedy through the Chaos Caregiver edition, there will be a conversation about that. And first I want to talk about the concept of reflection. Especially as a caregiver and a parent or someone who is dealing with a variety of different complex situations and trauma potentially.

I know that we are not always as prone to wanting to rest in reflection because reflection also means you have to look back at all of the terrible, crappy things that you had to deal with. And so often reflection leans focusing on all of these things that you are so glad you don't have to deal with anymore. So you don't want to think about all the stuff that sucked. So I understand that. And so I Encourage us to reframe the way that we think about the concept of reflection, where it is not only something where you're looking back at negative things, but where it also gives you a chance to look back at all of the amazing things that happened around those negative things, especially as we are moving through the tail end of this year.

And so I am one of those people that has to practice this on a regular basis where so much of the good stuff gets wrapped up in the negative and the trauma that you forget about the good stuff too. So it really has been a practice that I work on for Freudian Slip the Earth. See, I mean, I'm already moving forward, you see how it is. But I also understand that, you know, you need to look back. And so that's what I've been trying to do, is look back and just really be cognizant of how quickly time can move forward.

Especially if you have a brain like mine. There's like, press, press, press, press, press, go, go, go. And life feels like a sprint. And so, you know, when looking through my personal reflection, it's amazing to me that I'm coming up on year two. It'll be two years that my son, who is an adorable 17 year old who happens to be high supports on the autism spectrum, it's gonna be two years that he's been with me full time and gone no contact with my ex husband and his father. And that obviously was not something that I ever expected was going to be the case.

And it really has been a interesting journey moving into this and the griefing, the, the grieving process of what I thought the relationship was going to be like, what I thought things were going to be like and going, no, but we are in such a good place. And giving myself credit for the amount of work that I do when I care for my son because he is my heart. And you know, it really doesn't seem like it's been two years because time has a tendency to fly and it does this thing where it moves fast and then it moves slow, then it moves fast.

So what I wanted to encourage all of us to do is think back over 2025. I'll say it right this time as I slow down. Think back over 2025 and there's a couple of homework assignments that I encourage you to do for yourself that has been very beneficial for me. One, think back over the last year over something that proved to yourself that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Think back over something over that happened over the last year. That proves that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

That's part of the reason why I started with the conversation about my son being with me full time over the last couple of years is Steve Miller Band said the best song, fly like an Eagle. Time keeps slipping. It does. It slips. It slips really fast sometimes. And there are so many times when I am thinking about the care that I give to my son and for my son that it's just something that I do naturally because I love him. Right. Thank you. Thank you. Witness. So you obviously don't have to have an answer today, but you have, you have some time to think on that.

And it's not until I give myself time to, like, rest in that reflection, to think back about this journey that it's like, wow, you really have worked hard for him to be able to thrive in the situation. And you and he have really come to this great bond in this great place. And I'm very proud of, of all of the, the strides that he's made over the last couple of years. But it has been a very different experience than what I thought it was going to be when I thought that I'd be in this co parenting situation for years, which evaporated.

So that's what the first question is. I encourage you to think back over the year and think of something that proved to yourself that you were stronger than you thought you were. So that is the first thing that I encourage you to do. The next thing that I encourage us to do, as we are thinking on the concept of reflection and gratitude for all of the work that we do as caregivers over the last year, is think back. Second question. So take notes. And I'm glad that this is recorded because you can listen back to the replay if you're like, she moved too fast.

The next thing is. So often we only allow ourselves to give ourselves pats on the backs and awards and celebrations about things that seem massive and gigantic and the most. Then we're like, you know what? I deserve a plaque for that. That's great. But sometimes it's those teeny things, those small things that you also should be giving yourself great credit for and roses and all of those things. And so that's the second advice. Thank you. And that is the second thing that I encourage you to do, is think back throughout the year.

What are some of those examples of teeny things that you should have been giving yourself credit for? I'm going to give you an example today. So yesterday, man, okay, so my kid's 17 he hangs out. He's one of the youngest kids in his program at his school. And so it. I wasn't paying attention to what was going on astrally, I'll be honest with you. But he woke up grumpy, just woke up in a mood. Which happens with teenagers. I know, but it was just like, okay, today is the day. And so it took a bit to get him to school.

We got out of the car, then it was more negotiations, mini meltdown, stuff that we hadn't had to deal with in a little bit. And I'm like, oh my gosh, what is this deal? And then I start talking to his teacher and his primary para at the school and they said all the kids, all the kids were off. All the kids were off. And so we're like, is it a full moon? And then we look and today, today is a full moon. So the universe is not assisting us. We walked headlong into full moon drama. And maybe in your world it doesn't matter.

I in the woo woo borderline voodoo situation that I navigate through, it absolutely matters. I'm like, oh yeah, okay, that plus it snow just enough. Crabby, crabby, miserable. Most. The most. Yes, exactly. You know what? You know, here's the thing. I have seen the occasional Dracula lore where he did not seem crabby and pensive, but that usually had something to do with like a Jim Carrey type actor or something that was playing it. But he has been in a better mood. Junk food junkie. Because he is a winter kid.

He is very happy, very happy. I know. So it probably was just coming at us from all astral and oryx type things. But junk food junkie, My kid likes winter. He's much happier now that it's cold. It was minus four today and he was excited about it. He was outside thriving, thriving, living his best life. I have on three or four layers. He's. He intentionally. I asked him to take his big coat today and he's like black coat, which is what I consider his fall jacket. But that's what he wanted today. So I'm like, you know what?

Cool, go, you're in a better mood. So the fact that today he felt autonomous enough to pick his own jacket, got dressed without a lot of protest. Protestation? Yeah, it's a lot here right now. The witness is a lot. Got dressed without protestation, ate his breakfast, got ready to go. And some of his provisions that he keeps at school, like Gatorade and some spare clothes and stuff. I needed to restock those. So when we got out of the car, we had two six pack of Gatorades that needed to manage to make it into the building.

And you know what I asked him, I said, you want to carry it? So he said, carry it. And I handed it to him. And then I was like, you want to carry them both? He's like, carry them both. I'm like, all right, Mr. Big Kid, go ahead. So he took his two six packs of Gatorade and walked on inside, as a teenager should do, you know. No, no, I understand what you're saying. No, you're right. He had Dracula summer. All, all, all, all summer. It was vampire summer. He was just hanging out in the dark. But in the winter, that's when he comes out and it's, it makes sense because it's dark outside all the time too.

He was outside last night at 9pm which is pitch black in Minnesota this time of year. You are welcome, you know. So this, you know, he was outside. I'm like, so we're going outside now, huh? Do you live your best vampiric outside in the cold? I don't know if they're special winter vampires. I didn't watch all of the, the, the Twilight series. I saw a little bit where they seem like they were in the cold, but I think that's because they were fighting werewolves. I don't know. I will check. I will check.

But he's less of a vampire in the winter is what I'm trying to get at. Junk food junkie. So I'm very proud of him today. He carried all his stuff in and took it in, took his provisions. I'm like, good job, big kid. Get your life together. Go ahead. So we'll see what kind of mood he is going to be when I pick him up this afternoon. Because I don't know, I'm presuming that will be fine. Because we have been having more days that are fine and we are content than the days when we are not. So that is the next thing.

So that is the small thing that I'm giving us credit for. There are so many more moments of autonomy, moments of him vocal localizing what his needs are, figuring out a way to communicate that with me. Over the last year that it's happened in such little mini spots, I haven't always noticed. I'm like, wait a minute, he's doing so much better if you add it all together. So what are some of those other tiny small wins that may have happened for you over the last year that you just haven't been giving yourself credit because you were waiting for whatever gigantic massive thing to happen so that you could give yourself a parade.

And I'm going to mention that to you again, Speak Wonder, because congratulations. I know you're working on your book. As someone who's also working on book, give yourself credit for all of the announcements, all the other little things about that book, not just oh, I'll give myself credit when it's done. You know, we're doing great work and I am very excited to read your novel when you are finished with it. So that is the second thing that I do. So we have two now. So you have both of those ones.

So hopefully you had a chance to get through those both of those things. And then I have a final, a final question. You're welcome. So here is my final question that I encourage you to think on. And it's back to the subject of what do we do as far as giving ourselves space to rest and looking back over the last year and going all right, when is it? So thank you very much. No problem. Thank you. Junk Food Jelly So here's the final question and it goes around the concept of what do we do when we rest and what are some moments of rest and recovery that you can give yourself going forward so that you have more space when you reflect?

So what are some moments? So now we had two things where we looked back and reflect and now something that's going to help us as we move forward. What are some things that you can do to help you rest and recover and give yourself space as you move forward? So we have two things that look back and one thing that's going to help us move forward and I'm a good example of that when I'm back on because I don't really do New Year's resolutions. I'm not that kind of person. But what I do do is I do reset intentions and then as you're looking at things going okay, what did fell off?

So see, is that a thing? All right, so good. And that's why I said you don't have to have the answer today. Take notes, give yourself time to think on it. But I will hold you accountable. So if you pop back into the live and you're on my live stream on Saturday when I'll be back here at 10am or if you come see me in the future down down the road on our our Thursdays at 2pm and junk food Junkie is good at helping me keep track. So if you need appropriate accountability partners, that is what we do here in the Cadre sphere.

Yeah. What do you do to rest and recover? Because maybe I, I have a very tenuous relationship with the word relax. I don't know if I really do that. So. So I like the word recover. If you're good at relaxing, then doing that. Yeah. So if you could find me time and those things. So even if for me sometimes it's just once I get him off to school, school drop off, it's just he's out of the car. It's just sitting and being able to be like, oh, wow, okay, we made it, everything's cool. And that to me counts as recovery time because it does sometimes feel like I was running and running.

And after you finish running, you need to stop and then give yourself time to like maybe do that lap where you stretch back out where you end up recalibrating, calibrating and re regulating. And so that's a good time for me to re regulate. Just to sit there and go, okay, don't rush off to the emails immediately. Don't rush off to everything else. The other thing that I said that I was gonna do is you guys see the witness. You may have seen this, but I've shared. I have a downstairs workout room and in it I have a sauna.

It's one of. It's supposed to be portable, but I don't know who takes this down and puts it back up. But it's a fana that I put in there. So, you know, pers. Unnecessary. Chris. Protection. Ah, you know what? Everything. Yes and no. So I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to answer your question because most of the things that I have for holiday decorations I use going to a monastery this weekend. Ooh, good for you. Speak wonder. I'm very excited to see how that works out for you. I feel like I would have a very difficult time with that.

I have a hard enough time with my journey with meditation. So what I. The reason why I'm using the sauna one I think is good for me because I just did like a parasite cleanse and I think sauna is good for you. But the second thing is because it is so hot and steamy in there, it means I can't take this device and I can't do all this stuff. So I did use it once this week and I was very proud of myself that I sat in there for 10 minutes and could not go, oh, I don't like what songs playing on my headphones.

I can't this, I can't that. Just gotta be in there with my thoughts. So that is. That is great. Oh, fantastic. I'm excited for you. Speak one or the Benedictine sisters. That is fascinating. I have heard of retreats that have no words to them. And those other things I do, I. I do like the portable sauna. I'm the witness. I do like the portable sauna. So I'm going to commit to using that at least twice a week, if not more. And I'm gonna try and get my kiddo to check it out, you know, here and there.

And so I'm going to do that. And I did promise myself. And now I gotta hurry up because we're in December. I told myself that before the end of the year I would try cold plunge. So I'm working up the nerve to do that. And I don't mean, like, I'm gonna go and do, I don't know, one of those charity ones. I'm just gonna do the. Let me get in the coldish water and see how that goes. Because some of my practitioner friends have been saying, it'll be good for you, it'll be good for you. It'll be good for you.

Your anxiety will appreciate it. So on behalf of my anxiety, I have to at least try cold plunge once and see if my anxiety goes. Thank you. That is what I have been looking for. So that is on the agenda and I promise I'm gonna do it before the end of the year. So you have your assignments, friends. Hopefully they are not too burdensome. And remember, there is no right or wrong answer. There are just answers. So hopefully the answer makes sense for you if you need to tweak the questions a little bit to be more appropriate for whatever journey you are currently on.

Feel free. Feel free. We like to adapt here and do all those things. So. Speak Wonder. I do not anticipate seeing you. I'm looking back. So when do you go to the monastery? When do you go to the monastery, my friend? Because I'm presuming like, so in Erie, Pennsylvania, they have a. They have a monastery. I mean, a Benedictine sisters monastery. I. Who knew? I have not googled your town. I should do that. I'm like, I'm sure we have something like that in Minnesota, but I will just live vicariously through you.

Speak, Wonder. That is fantastic. So, yeah, a junk food junkie. Trust me, Me. Just me in there with thoughts and sweat. It's glorious. So I'm gonna give it a shot. I'm gonna stay on it. I think that this is a good time for me to start it because, you know, as I said, we're in the midst of the winter. You know, we're here, it's minus four today. The high is going to be 14 degrees here in Minneapolis, Minnesota. So if any time was a good time to try and get more accomplished with doing that kind of things, that was it.

If I had tried it in the middle of the summer and be like, why am I going to go from humid to humid in my basement? So I'm going to do that. So everyone, I do hope that that was of value. It's been very a value and cleansing to, for me personally to be able to go through that practice and work on those reflective questions. To give myself more credit for some of the things that have been incremental adjustments, incremental wins throughout the year. And hopefully it is something that is of equal benefit for you as you do that.

So there will be a variety of content that is here in the Cadre sphere. As always, we try to make sure that we are giving you what you need at the moment. And that's why we try to make sure it's very searchable and very tangible and hopefully something that, you know, gives you what is missing. And we know that you have to pop around to find that. And so everybody has a different vibe and that's what we love about the Cadre sphere. So whatever the day holds for you, I hope that you navigate it well.

I hope that you have some moments of peace. I am going to go and rescue my, my child from the bonds of school and education. So I'm gonna rescue him. We got one more thing this afternoon because he has a speech therapy, virtual speech therapy on Thursday. So we'll see how that goes today. So everybody feel free to send me some positive eyes as we work through speech therapy because again, not his favorite, but necessary, necessary. So I will see those of you who are available this Saturday at 10am Central back here for the Parenting edition, where we all have some other things to bond on and bond with and about.

We'll talk about that. I do also plan to be back here next Thursday as well. So in the meantime, feel free to always drop some notes in the chat. I try to do a pretty good job of putting in some just touch base videos, if not every day, often throughout the week. So that is the goal, to continue to keep doing those kind of things. And everybody, it is a complex world and many of the things that we care about seem like they are continually in a dumpster that is being put on fire. So please be kind to yourselves, take care of yourselves, take care of your communities.

Make sure that you remember that we are part of that community for you and that we are here for you. As things continue to get complex, you do not have to navigate all of it alone. So as I mentioned when we first started, I hope that the day treats you well. You if it does not, shame on it. Not shame on you. So thank you all for joining me. Hopefully if I will see you again down the road. And if you have any questions on those questions, speak Wonder the witness and junk food junkie. Just send me a little note.

So I'll see you all soon. Have a great day everybody.