My family’s experience with my sister’s bipolar disorder ❤️🩹
This weekend was my older sister's birthday. My sister had bipolar 1, so very intense mood swings between mania and depression. I'm always curious about other people's experience of bipolar disorder. I would love to hear about your own experiences of that.
This weekend was my older sister's birthday. This is the 12th one that we've celebrated without her. She took her life in 2013. My sister had bipolar 1, so very intense mood swings between mania and depression. She had had ECT over the course of her lifetime. She'd been hospitalized a bunch of times. She had also done medication for a long time. And my sister experience what a lot of people experience on mood stabilizers, which is a general flattening of affect, right? That inability to feel very strong emotions, either very negative, which is good, but also an inability to feel emotions that were very positive, which is less good.
That general feeling of being a bit of an emotional zombie, of not being able to feel much, was a principal reason why my sister came off medication multiple times over the course of her lifetime. That would often precipitate a manic episode during which she would act in ways that were reckless and irresponsible. And the depression that would kick in after that would lead to a lot of self recrimination and regret about the way that she had behaved. Now, my sister was much more than her illness. She was a huge and sometimes quite embarrassing person to be around.
I loved her very much, but we also weren't particularly close, especially towards the end of her life. And I always regret not having made more of an effort to connect with her around the topic of mental health. This is a long time ago in my life, so it's something that I feel like I've processed. But I'm always curious about other people's experience of bipolar disorder, their experience of medication, their reasons for coming on and off medication. If it's also similar side effects that have caused them, that some of the other frustrations and disappointments and challenges of bipolar, I would love to hear about your own experiences of that.
It helps me keep it fresh that this is something that is a big part of people's lives, but obviously does not define them entirely as people. So please comment, sound off and let me know what's going on.
