It's a simple way for you to keep a pulse. Again, productive has purpose. Guilt can have purpose. Guilt that is misplaced or manipulative is completely different. Most importantly, as you go throughout this week, give yourself full permission to be 100% yourself.
If your plate could talk, what would it say? What would it tell you about what you're carrying, metaphorically, mentally? Rate your week. It's a simple way for you to keep a pulse.
Last time, we talked about the difference between passive pain and productive pain. productive pain is going to be something in our lives that is time sensitive, that it has purpose. I love that concept so much that I want to pull that into our space and how we question ourselves.
Would you consider those things more passive or more productive? Again, productive has purpose. What can move something from passive to productive is us taking action. Which do you see most present in your life right now?
Guilt can have purpose. Sometimes guilt, if it's healthy and it's appropriate, can help us move from an area back to something that better aligns with our values. Guilt that is misplaced or manipulative is completely different.
Here's what I want you to tell me. Invitation what has guilt been like for you lately? Where are you noticing any levels of guilt? Is it coming from a place of health or is it pushing you to an appropriate place? Most importantly, as you go throughout this week, give yourself full permission to be 100% yourself.
Cadre. What is up? It's the end or beginning of the week, depending upon how you look at it. But either way it goes. You know what we do on Sundays? We gather together and we discuss. If your plate could talk, what would it say? What would it tell you about what you're carrying, metaphorically, mentally? Hello, Andrea. Hello, mom Bohan. Hello, Dr. Teresa. What is your plate telling you about all the things that are going on in your life, as well as what is your plate telling you about how you've been eating?
Hello, Jules. This is your first here? I'm Dr. Charisse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner, and author. And I'm glad that you chose to come in this space. So whether it's your first time here or. Or you are here all the time, you know what to do. Hello, Leslie. You tell me or let me invite you to tell me. Where are you right now? I'm in Charlotte. And rate your week. You know, I actually started doing the Rate youe Week with my young adult children where I just kind of reach out to them and say, Hey, 1 to 10.
They kind of like it. It gives me some good insight. So reminder. Hello, Dr. Leslie. That this is something wonderful that you can also do with people that you love. And you don't always need to respond. You don't always to tell them what they need to do. It's just a very simple way for you to keep a pulse. Hello, Philly. What's up? My week. I would give my week a solid seven, maybe even an eight, which I'm really happy with because it was definitely up and down. You're visiting South Carolina this week.
I hope it's for something fun. So let me recap, because last time we were here, we talked about pain. Is there ever purpose in your pain? And we talked about the difference between passive pain and productive pain. Recognizing that passive pain is not necessarily what we want because it's continuous. It wears us down. It beats us down. Where productive pain. Hello, Steph. Irwin. Is going to be something in our lives that is time sensitive, that it has purpose. Hello, Tarina. Look at this. I mean, you guys are coming out the woodwork.
I want people. What I should be asking you is, where have you been? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But it's great to see all of you here. And productive pain is, in essence, the kind of pain that we know. It's temporary. It's because we're achieving a goal. It's because we are working towards Something, and at some point it's going to end. I love that concept so much that I want to pull that into our space and how we question ourselves. Here's a question I have for you. First, just as a recap, I haven't even gotten into today yet.
When you think about where you are right now and all the things that you're carrying, all the things that's on your plate, would you consider those things more passive or more productive? Again, productive has purpose. It's time sensitive. It's hard, but it's pushing you forward. It's worth it. Passive pain is like, I don't know what to do with this. This is not coming off of me. I don't see this ending. It feels attached to me. It's sucking the life out of me. It's making me anxious. It's making me depressed.
Which do you see most present in your life right now? And remember, what happens in Cadre stays on Cadre. So this is honestly, this is your space. Most people, unless they take the time to listen to everything, they won't even know what we're talking about. But passive or productive, what are you noticing out of yourself? Here's what I would say for myself, because I always want to make sure that I'm inviting myself into this so that you don't think I'm here. And I'm telling you something, because we're a family.
I feel like there have been passive moments and seasons in my life, maybe over the last month that I am working to turn productive. So I want you to key in on that. We can have passive pain points that we are like, oh, I've been dealing with this too long. But what typically makes them passive? I love that. The percentage, 75% passive, 25% productive. What can move something from passive to productive is us taking action. It becomes passive and just tears us down when we decide, well, I see the pain, I'm looking at the pain, I see the struggle, but I'm not going to do anything about it.
I tell you so often, you are the greatest threat in your life. You have the greatest influence in your life, hopefully. Right? Which brings me to the focus of today. I want to talk about guilt. When we even consider the dynamic of passive and productive pain, sometimes one of the things that keeps us holding things on our plate that needs to come off is we feel guilty. Tell me this. Have you ever looked at something that was on your plate, a responsibility, something that you're carrying, something that you're dealing with, and you know this is Weighing me down.
This is too much. This isn't really mine to carry. But you feel guilty considering moving it off your plate. I want you to think about that or let me know if that's something that you experienced. Guilt can have purpose. Sometimes guilt, if it's healthy and it's appropriate, can help us move from an area back to something that better aligns with our values. For example, let's say you're coming off of a very productive season. But you also know you are not sleeping well. And you know because you're not sleeping well, you've been a little moody.
And you know because you're moody, you haven't treated the people in your life the way you normally would. So recognizing that and feeling guilty about I'm off and it's impacting me and other people, that's an appropriate level of guilt. When guilt is healthy and is helping you recenter and anchor you back to what you value, whether that's moral standards, cultural standards, ethical standards, then that's a really great guard. Well, but misplace guilt, the kind of guilt that comes to the surface when other people say things to you that you don't appreciate.
The kind of guilt that comes to the surface when you're trying to change and evolve and grow. I feel that one right just in different points in my life. Tell me this. Have you ever had a situation where you were working to better yourself in any area and you had people in your life that tried to make you feel guilty about your growth? If you've been there, heart reaction or. Yes, I have. I want you to remind yourself when you are noticing some guilt, that healthy guilt will move you back to your center.
It will anchor you in appropriate ways. Guilt that is misplaced or manipulative is completely different. It will feel bad. It's meant to keep you small. It's meant to take away your confidence or to second guess yourself. I was actually talking to someone today and they said, well, how do you keep from feeling guilty when someone, someone else says something to you? And here was my response. I said, it depends on whose voice has the most power. Ideally, we are intended to have the loudest voice in our life.
That means whether it comes from our value system, our spirituality, whatever it is that anchors you, we want to make sure that the loudest voice in between our ears is the one that we've worked to cultivate. However, if we haven't done a great job, or if we're not intentional about how we pour into ourselves, we will allow people, sometimes people that don't even know us. Well, sometimes people that don't deserve the right to speak into our lives, to say things that will make us question who we are.
It'll make us question our desire for growth, our desire for change, our desire for new opportunities. And then that will hold you back. Here's what I want you to tell me. Invitation what has guilt been like for you lately? Where are you noticing any levels of guilt? And you can think about core life domains, spiritually, physically, financially, socially, and emotionally. Are you noticing any guilt in any of those areas? When you think about what's on your plate, are you feeling any level of guilt?
Because there's a part of you that thinks I'm not managing my plate the way that I want to. And then I want you to ask yourself, where's the source and the root of that guilt? Is it coming from a place of health that's trying to kind of keep you centered and anchored, and is it pushing you to an appropriate place? Or do you realize that the guilt that you've been experiencing or what you've been listening to are coming from other people who are trying to keep you from shifting? Are they coming from other people who have their own issues and their own mindset that isn't healthy?
Because unhealthy people love. Right? They love to share their thoughts with us. But you want to be able to filter through what other people are saying and remind yourself, you know what? I actually don't have to accept everything that other people say. I don't have to accept everything that other people think as truth. Thank you for your share, Joycelyn. Yeah, Relocating, making a change, moving forward in life in even good ways can make us feel guilty. Here's another thing. I'll end you with this.
If you are at a place in your life where you know you're at a turning point or a crossroad, you want to step into something new. You want to really begin to refocus and recenter on yourself mentally, physically and spiritually in healthy ways. I want to encourage you not to feel guilty for that growth. Always consider what's the root of what you're experiencing? Whose voice is at the center? Let me also add, sometimes the voices that we hear are people that have been in our lives ancestrally or generationally.
Sometimes we have generational guilt that comes and makes us feel like it's not appropriate for something that's a whole other topic. Maybe I'll get to that later. But whose voice is the loudest? What is the root of that? And then is it a kind of misplaced guilt that you need to challenge. And challenging it means what makes it true and what makes it false. And being able to put that on paper, sit down, step back, observe it, and then move forward from there. Most importantly, as you go throughout this week, I want you to give yourself full permission to be 100% yourself.
Right? I want you to communicate with clarity. I want you to communicate with confidence. I want you to use your voice. I want you to be okay with the good things that are happening in your life, and I want you to try not to blame yourself for all the other random things that are happening. And if you find yourself struggling and feeling like you're not doing a good job, come back here, listen to my voice or the voice of many of the amazing contributors that are on this space, and let us pour into you and let us encourage you.
But most of all, let us remind you you are not alone. We are all in this together. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're doing the best you can. And everything that you're giving is more than enough. All right, as always, thank you so much for coming and joining me during this time. I hope you heard a little something that you can use in your own life or share with somebody who needs encouragement. And I will see you all on Wednesday. Have a good week.
