Caregiver Connections

Good morning, you guys. Good morning all of you in the Cadre sphere. I hope you all are having a good start to your Thursday and here on caregiver day. So this morning I have my, my hug and a mug, as I like to call it, my little bit of self care. Good morning, Kelly. Good morning, Luke. Do you guys have your little bit of self care this morning or your hug in a mug? I have been trying to cut back a little bit on caffeine, but today, today calls for caffeination station day. So, so here we are. I'm cutting back most days, but today, today, today called for a little bit, a little bit of caffeination and it is in my.

You've got this mug. So sometimes we all need a little reminder, a little affirmation to get started for the day. Oh, good. See Luke, you're being so good with your decaf coffee. It's good to see you guys. So, yeah, today this is what I had to tell myself. Today you've got this. So today I wanted to talk to you guys a little about prioritizing. So for those of you who don't know me, I am Stephanie Irwin and I'm a mom of two wonderful and wild neurodivergent kiddos. My daughter was diagnosed with autism in 2023, and I work for a nonprofit that supports children with cancer and their families, both inside the hospital as well as the community.

So, you know, caregiving in multiple realms. And I'm here to share with you guys some joys and some challenges of my authentic caregiving story. So we are in this together, you guys, and even though your caregiving story may look a little different than mine, we are all here for one another and we are here for you. So as we've been going through the last couple years, you know, my daughter has been the priority, taking care of her therapies, getting her set up with all her resources. ABA Therapy has been coming to the home, working with her.

So she has made some great strides and feel like we're getting to a good place. You know, here and there it definitely comes in waves. But recently, you know, my son has, has been having some struggles both at school and at home. We've been dealing with, you know, lots of, lots of behaviors and he's really been through a lot with, going through everything with, with my daughter the last couple years. And so my priorities are kind of shifting right now and I'm seeing where I need to be putting my focus a little bit more.

So, yeah, some, some things are going to be Put on the back burner. And we've got these little fires that pop up and sometimes you gotta put them out where they come. And some things you just gotta let go. So this, this is my, I'm going through this life journey, learning all the lessons as I go. And you know, so that, that's a whole nother topic for a whole nother day is just the dynamic, the family dynamics that come with caregiving for somebody with maybe developmental needs or ph needs or medical needs, what are.

Whether it may be one of those or all of those. So that is definitely a whole, a whole family dynamic that we are just figuring out as we go along. So these next couple weeks are definitely like crazy hectic. And they are like the granddaddy of all weeks. I feel like, you know, if you talk about football, what do they call it? The Rose bowl is the granddaddy of all the college football games. I feel like I'm in the Rose bowl these next couple weeks here. Well, this week and next. And, and the floats in this Rose bowl parade do not have all of, all of the flowers in there, all of the pretty flowers.

I may have some, some filler flowers here on, on my float. But you know what, we're making it work and we're. I'm doing the best I can. Right? That's what we have to do as caregivers. So, so just thinking about all the things that, and driving kids to and from everywhere. We have events for work this week and next week and going out of town for work. And my husband has an event for, for his job for his teacher of the year ceremony tonight. So we just got a lot of juggling things and, you know, bouncing around and trying to find care where we can find care.

So it is, it's a little wild. Some days we feel like you're, you know, you're surfing on top of the waves and you've got this. And then other days you're like barely just, just keeping your head above, above the water. So, you know, it comes in waves, pun intended. So I just want to talk about different things that have worked for me. And yesterday when I was just sensing all this overwhelm, I had to sit down and just really take a deep breath and be like, okay, where are my priorities right now?

What do I need to figure out first? What do I need to do first? And take it in small bite sized pieces. So it's really important to acknowledge your emotions first of all. Good morning, Elizabeth Vineyard. Yeah. Just acknowledge your emotions and acknowledge what you're feeling at this moment, if you're feeling overwhelmed or maybe you're feeling a sense of accomplishment. Accomplishment, or, you know, maybe you're feeling depleted. So just when you go to prioritize, just acknowledge how you're feeling first and then look at what is actually in my control right now.

What can I control and what can I let go? So that's something that I'm continuing to learn every day. Yeah. What can I let go this week? What is not a priority? What do I need to put my focus on? And then also looking at what's realistic, what can I actually do? What do I actually have time, mental space and bandwidth to handle? Because some weeks, you know, you may be able to handle more than other weeks. And that's just gonna depend on what's happening in your life and how you're feeling emotionally.

So it's really just important to check in with yourself and have some self compassion too through all of this, because you're only one person and it's not even humanly possible to get everything done. And you know, balance. People talk about balance, but it's not. There's no way to be completely balanced. And I love how Dr. Charisse, good morning. Speak wonder. I love how Dr. Sharee calls it harmonizing instead of balancing. Because you're, you've got, you can't put 100% into every aspect that's, that's going on in your life.

But yeah, so being realistic about what you can actually do and what you can handle. I like to write down just a general priority list of what I have to do for the week. And sometimes that can make me feel a little overwhelmed. And sometimes it makes me feel good that I'm actually putting it on paper. So on those days where I feel really overwhelmed about writing everything down, then I will condense it and say, what do I have to do today? What do I have to get done in the next couple hours? And prioritize that, like, what is my number one, what is my number two?

And look at it that way and break it down into pieces that you can actually handle at the moment. Because if not, if you're looking at this huge list of things that have to happen, sometimes people can feel a sense of just, just overwhelm and exhaustion. So feel yourself out. See what works best for you. But I do believe in writing stuff down and just getting it out of your head and onto that paper. It's really beneficial for a lot of people. So communicate your needs. Call on your village. Those of you, you who know Me know I don't like to ask for help, but this week we really didn't have a choice.

So we've called on my son's baseball friends, neighbors, friends from school. So we've just had to utilize our, our village and our friends and our resources to, to help us out and get things done this week and next week because there's just no way humanly possible that, that we could do this on our own right now. So call on that village, you guys, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Just, just know that you know somebody is, is there for you and is your friend. They're, they're going to want to help you out.

They are going to want to help you out and then one day, you know, you might need to help them out. So don't be afraid to call on your village. And also, what can you control in your own health? I know sleep is a great thing to prioritize and I know sometimes that's easier said than done. Yes, Speak, wonder. Call on your village. I know that you are needing to rely on your village right now too with everything you've got happening in your world. Yeah. So what can you control with your own health?

Can you control the nutrition you're putting in your body? Can you control how much water you're drinking? Are you able to control like going on a walk? I have this week. I don't have as much time as I want to. In the last couple weeks I've been really prioritizing exercise and nutrition and this week I'm having to squeeze in those little snacks of exercise, you know, here and there, a five minute walk, a 10 minute walk, you know, five minute deep breathing or mindfulness meditation in the mornings.

Just squeezing it in when I can and knowing that I'm keeping that habit going even if I can't do a full 30, 40 minute walk. So you know, get, get in what you can and don't beat yourself up and just know that you're doing the best to help yourself and to help your family or the loved ones you're caring for. Yeah, taking what can you control? My healthy snacks. I've just had to have stuff that's like easy to grab because I really haven't had time to make full on meals as much this week. So do what you can, do what you can and know that you guys are doing enough and that you are enough and it's important to know that.

And you guys give yourself the grace and the love and the self compassion that you need and get your sleep when you can. As much as you can. Easier said than done. And I just want you guys to take care of yourselves. Sorry. This was a long one today. All right, cheers, y'all. From my hugging a mug to yours, you've got this.