What's In Your Toolbox?

We are live. We are live on this beautiful Thursday. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Caretaker Thursday. I am your host for this 11:00 hour. If you are hanging with me, Pacific Standard Time. m.. Central. Let's see. m.. Eastern. So welcome. Excited to have you all here. Hi, Jungfu Junkie. My name is Jill, and I am part of a dynamic duo of girls mentorship, and we help support, uplift, empower young girls and their families. And why it's important for me to be a part of this amazing day is because parents are looked at as caretakers.

So whether you are a parent, whether you aren't a parent, whether you're an uncle, an aunt, a mentor of people in your life, you are welcome here and happy to have you part of this conversation. Hi, Chris. Junk food Junkie. Loves seeing both of your names on here. So today, what do I want to talk about today there has been some interesting, I would say, energy in my, in my family life, in particular with my kids playing sports. So if you have had kids or if you have kids that are actively involved in music, theater, sports activities, you know that your life at a certain point is really about their schedule and being in this work.

Having. Having a business where our sole focus and our aim is to develop kids through life skills and through their character so that they can be the most successful is obviously it's really important work, and we love it so much. But we also need to educate parents in the type of conversations that we're having with their kids. So that is my background. That's what I do. And when I am, when I'm not wearing the hat of business owner, I'm wearing the hat of mom. And what I'm noticing going to these baseball games is just the dynamic of parents and kids.

And it's been really interesting because I have this perspective. I have this foundation of knowing when to really kind of lean in and pay attention when flags go off of like, ooh, that doesn't seem right. And I also know when to involve my kids in certain conversations that are adult specific or when I need them to know kind of what's going on so that I can coach them if they go to baseball practice or a baseball game, that they're not gonna be immersed in some of the yuckiness or background conversations is what we like to say.

So let me give you a little example. Over the last week, actually, it's been a few weeks now, there has been some, there's been some drama at the baseball field in terms of fairness. So certain teams have, like the, you know, the best players, and other teams are kind of like the bad news bears. So parents are creating a real commotion and uproar around, well, why is this happening and pointing fingers and throwing stones at glass houses when they're really not taking a step back and noticing the facts?

So my husband is on the board of the little league and is now, you know, and it's a volunteer position. If you're coaching, if you're on the board, it's a volunteer position. And I don't think a lot of people consider what it takes to be a board member, what it takes to be a coach and give up your time and pour into these kiddos. It takes a lot of effort, it takes a lot of work. And when things don't go right in certain people's opinions, that's when conversations come up. And what we're hearing is these background conversations around a certain team who is performing at a higher level.

The coach, you know, told kids that they needed to throw the tryouts. There's a lot of stuff going on. And now what we're seeing is the parents who are frustrated with the little league is now showing up through the kids. So my kiddos coming home and regurgitating things that he heard at practice through other kids and through other. And it's just, it's creating such a yucky environment that, a, the kids don't want to show up and participate, and b, the parents are really frustrated to show up and act in a way that, you know, that that is caring and they can let go of the stuff.

So it's creating. I wanted to paint this picture because I want you to find yourself in an example, maybe in your life, where you have. You've stepped into a space and you can just kind of feel something's off because of conversations that people are talking amongst each other or they're talking about other people and you're just noticing, like, you know, know what? That doesn't feel right. So what have I noticed? Being more aware and knowing that I really do give people the benefit of the doubt.

I'm noticing that certain people don't know how to have conflict in a healthy way. So when you're in these type of situations, being able to have opposing opinions is totally fine. It is. It's healthy. It allows other people to see other people's perspectives, to express compassion and empathy. However, if you don't know how to manage that, that's when you can feel like it's my way and no other way, versus, like, hey, my way might not always be the way. And I'm going to welcome your point of view.

So what's happening in the little league here is that it's very much. I feel hurt. It's about feelings, not facts. People are asking to know the facts. People are just kind of like, it's the game of telephone. Oh, well, so and so said that, and, oh, my gosh. And it just continues to cycle and spiral, and now it's. It's. It's erupting. It's this huge problem, and it's impacting not only the families, but it's impacting the kids. And what I have shared with Mary is my sadness for these kiddos to see their parents and their coaches and other people that they admire in this light, that parents are dealing with adversity or with conflict in not a healthy way.

It's actually very unhealthy and it's toxic. And now our kids are seeing that that's okay. That that's the example. And we sit here as a society as a whole saying, man, kids are getting bullied left and right. And finally, I'm starting to, like, see, well, you know, you know why our kids are getting bullied? Because they're. They're not seeing examples in their life to lead them and show them the right way. So, parents, my message to you today, or caretakers who. Who are raising this next generation, is checking in with yourself and knowing that your way doesn't always have to be the way.

And how do we show up and teach our kids? Also, that same sentiment, because what's happening in the little league is now these kids are saying, I don't want to play that team anymore, and the parents are okay with that, or I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna shake their hands because they're poor sports or whatever the story is that we're believing to be true, and that's not okay. Having. Not showing our kids sportsmanship, not showing our kids adversity, that you're not always going to win the game or you're not always going to be on the best team sometimes those are the lessons that we need to be in in order to grow as a person and as a community.

Because where else in their life are they going to be on a team or maybe in a job that. That they don't like it or it didn't go their way? Are we going to throw a fit and cause a ruckus to prove our point? And what's the cost. There always comes a cost. So my message to you today is checking in with yourself first. Because if we don't, it literally is like we're trying to poison the other person. But unfortunately, like, we're impacted first. Like we want them to feel bad, we want them to go down, but it's like, like it's robbing us of our time, our effort, our energy.

And that is what our kids are watching. Things are caught, not taught. Mary and I say that all the time. All the time. So whether you're moving about your day, it's knowing how you're showing up. How are you showing up for the barista at Starbucks or showing up through that drive thru as you're navigating this lunch hour, how are you showing up in a way that isn't, that is kind and compassionate. As simple as that is. Simple doesn't always mean easy. And it's a reminder for us today as caretakers, especially because when we are caring for other people, oftentimes we lose ourself, we lose our patience, we get stressed out.

We were overwhelmed, and that's where the eruption happens. So take a moment today. Take a moment today to reflect on how you're showing up and know that every action, every thought, every move that you make, other people are watching. And we want to be remembered for the good things because people are going to remember how we made them feel. They're not going to remember in particularly the conversations that we're having with them. And it starts, it starts small. So that's my gift for you today.

That's the challenge on this caretaker Thursday. And whether you are a parent dealing with some drama on the baseball field like my family is, or whether it's something totally different in the realm of you caretaking your loved ones know that you need to be whole and complete and filled up. And that's exactly why this app is so incredible for you to jump on and tune in. So for the rest of the day, there's going to be one more person who's going to pop on after me, and that's Miss Shannon Paul, and she's going to be talking all things what's on your daily.

I did it. Listen, so make sure to tune into that as well, because the more that you can make time and space for you, the more that you can show up and make an impact for those that you love and that you're caretaking for. And with that, guys, thanks for tuning in. If you're catching the replay, I hope that you took something for yourself. Today that you can carry in for the rest of the day. And we will see you next week on Tuesday and Thursday and enjoy the rest of your week. Bye, everyone.