ACTualized Living w/ Erik

What's going on, Cadre? Back with another live video here for you this afternoon here in Minnesota. Let's see. Following up last week, got a little bit ill, but I'm back in the positive swing of things, feeling better. And so, you know, last week we talked a little bit about acceptance, willingness, being willing to do the hard things, not bringing up struggle, resistance against these things that are difficult in our lives. And this week, I want to come to you about something that is close to my heart that I think is really important, which starts at this place called self esteem.

I don't know how many of you have ever struggled with self esteem, but it's. It's something that is pretty common in the human experience, unfortunately. And we often think of self esteem and, and pursue self esteem because when we do have self esteem, it feels pretty good. It's an indication that our lives are going the way in which we want it to. We feel good about what we're capable of and what we're doing in our life. Unfortunately, the reality of being human is we don't always feel that way.

There's things that come up, especially in the difficult times, that can get in the way of our self esteem. And so it's not a very reliable place to define ourselves with because it leaves out some important and real and unavoidable parts of our lives. And so, rather than self esteem being the cornerstone of how we relate to ourselves and what we expect of ourselves, I encourage you to explore this idea of self compassion and self compassion. Just like self esteem doesn't encompass everything, but it gives us a window to action.

It gives us a window out of feeling stuck in all the ways in which we wish things looked different, better, other than where we're at right now. And so if self esteem is that image of ourselves doing things well, accomplishing self compassion looks at the ways, the journey that it takes to get to those places. And so self compassion becomes relevant in the spots that are more sticky, the spots that are difficult to wade through, the times where maybe we don't do the thing that we wanted to do right.

We don't act the way that we want to see ourselves acting towards others. We fail a test, and we're upset. We get upset with our partner and say a word we wish we hadn't said. And instead of constantly beating down on ourselves for the way in which we're human, self compassion recognizes each and one of our own humanity, our flawedness, the fact that none of us are perfect and we're doing the best that we can. This window of self compassion is often a lot like talking to yourself the way you would talk to a friend when a friend is struggling, recognizing that it's normal.

It's normal to mess things up. It's normal to encounter this world around us and find situations that we don't quite have the blueprint for or the know how or experience to handle just perfectly. It gives us the room to be less people, pleasing to others, and be more of a person ourselves. And so the self compassion can be broken down very simply. And just recognizing when we're kind of doubling down on the fact that we make mistakes and it doesn't excuse them or say that we don't have responsibility.

But what it does say is that you're nothing other than human for having the mistakes you have. It gives us a window to be honest, to be vulnerable, to take responsibility, and not being the end of the road and not being an indication of why you're not good enough, because you are. And that's what self compassion is all about. So as you go forward here, I encourage you with the challenges you're facing, the things in your lives that.