What’s In Your Toolbox?

Hi. We're doing my thing over here. We're just gonna start. Hi, everyone. It is Tuesday. We're still in the same house, but we've moved locations. We needed to switch things up from the last two weeks. We were coming to you straight from the kitchen, and now we've moved into the office. So in the office, you know, thanks for sitting with us at our table as we have our toolbox. Tuesday talk. If you don't know who we are, quick little refresher. My name is Mary in the space buns. This is Jill in the Nike.

We own a company called Girls Mentorship, where we teach life and personal development skills to teen and tween girls. And at the foundation of that, we happen to be best friends, which society tells you not to work with your friends or your loved ones. And I just want to tell society that clearly they've never gotten a chance to work with their friends or loved ones in a healthy manner, in a healthy way, because you have heard horror stories when partnerships have not. Whether it's business partnerships, whether it's marriages, we've all heard the stories of them not going well.

We have. What we will say is that we didn't get lucky. We've put in the work, and the work that we've put in in our partnership, in the foundation of how we operate together is how we also operate individually. And it's the conversations and the tools and the practices that we talk about on this with you. Right. We've tuned in to so many of the other creators on this app and just relish in the things that they're talking about, because they are practices that we have implemented into our life on a daily basis, which one of our favorite sayings is, it's simple, not easy.

Simple and easy do not equate to the same thing. So implementing these practices is wonderful, and it takes intentionality. I think that's something we touch on every single time we jump on these live streams, is you have to be intentional with change, because the one thing we know about human nature is we spend about 5% of our day making conscious decisions, meaning everything else is on autopilot. Our body gets so used to doing the things that we do that it takes over. And motivation, willpower, determination, don't change those things.

Intentionality changes that you have to be intentional with how you want to refire the synapses in your brain, or you will wake up the same person every single day of your life taking the same action. So we love being on this app. Yes. As creators, however, we love being on this app as consumers because it's something that we draw inspiration from every day. And one thing I want to call out in Jill is she's the queen of finding inspiration. She could be in the grocery store checkout line, seeing the national Enquirer and reading a headline and being like, oh, we're going to talk about that.

And today's conversation is no exception to that rule. We've been in the beginning stages of planning for our summer camp. So one of our big offerings throughout the year is summer camp for girls who are ten to 13 years old, as well as for girls who are 15 to 19 to come in and act as camp counselors. And we are looking for brand partnerships and people who want to sponsor this effort to make it the biggest, coolest summer camp known to the world. And we have this email in our inbox, and the sign off is, profit is our reward for delighting our customers.

And Jill showed this to me. I saw it, but I looked over it. She sees things different than I do, and she goes, this really struck me. This really struck me. And I want you to. I want you to tell them why. I'm gonna tell you guys why. Because as a company, I want to invest in companies knowing that they're not just out to make money. Yes. Is money needed and necessary in order to make a greater impact? Yeah. But I love this philosophy around that profit is their reward for going above and beyond for their customer experience.

So it's, what are the small interactions? And even in our small interaction with them, it was lovely. And I'm like, wow, how do we actually take that, that philosophy and look at it for ourselves? So for me, I'm thinking, what is my reward? What is my reward if I show up authentic to my daily interactions, whether it's my kids, my family, my business partner, my best friend, the lady at Starbucks who's taking my order, what happens if my profit is relationship capital and those relationships then support us in the goals that we have within growing our business?

Or if I ask for help, someone is willing to step in to support us? Because I really pride myself in being authentic, knowing that I'm gaining. I'm gaining so much by just being me. And realistically, it's the difference between looking at your relationships transactionally or looking at your relationships transformationally, because it's very easy to look at someone and say, what can I get from them? What can they give to me? Rather than thinking that's very short term, I feel like rather than thinking long term, how can we have an equal energy exchange.

And honestly, I feel like so much would change in this world with that slight shift of perspective. Instead of acting selfishly within relationships, how do we act more selflessly? We teach this to our girls within the rule of reciprocity, right? A girl does not want to sit necessarily the majority of girls that we work with, with her mom while doing homework at the kitchen table. That girl would rather sit in her room, close the door with her airpods in and get done what she needs to get done. But the way that we frame it is we guarantee you one of your mom's love languages, if not her top love language, is quality time that doesn't need to look any other way than you sitting at the kitchen table doing your homework without exchanging any words.

It will fill up her cup knowing that you are sitting right in her space and wanting to be around her. And guess what that does for you? It opens up the door for her wanting to do more for you because she sees you trying. So we're filling that rule of reciprocity, giving to get. Now we don't want to paint the picture for girls to say just do this to get something. But we're hoping that's the jumpstart for them to be able to see that when you do for others, it comes back to you tenfold. Oh, amen. That's the prophet.

So I think the question today that we wanted to ask you guys is what is your profit in order for you to show up and, and be selfless in your day to day interaction? What is the reward that you're seeking? And it's knowing that you're not giving it to get anything in return. It's like giving it out away for free. Just like this company's philosophy, they know that the profit is in money, but they want happy customers to keep coming back. So what is your mantra? What are you seeking today that you're gaining because you're giving, and I think that is so important.

And I was sharing with Mary that last night I was having a conversation with my two, my two boys. I have two boys that are eight and ten and they're already talking about, oh, the uplift. And I'm like, boys, okay, so friend one is going for this guy, friend two is going for this guy. And it's this big conversation and debate that my kids are participating in, which is fine, healthy debate is healthy, but it's when one person calls someone else down because of their opinions or what they believe in.

And at this point it's obviously their family's opinions. Correct. So a lot of that is being projected, and we have this really interesting dynamic of not just, you know, succumbing to what your friends believe. If you don't believe that, like, it's really being okay to kind of be different, to stand in your own power to say, I don't believe that, and that's okay. But how do you respect other people's opinions while having your own is so important? And I think for them, that made them be like, huh, okay, I can be an opposition of someone else's beliefs, but I can also be kind to them.

Well, and I think that depicts the rule of reciprocity so beautifully, is giving other people grace for opinions that they might not have even asked questions about. So maybe it's not even, what's your mantra? Or what is, how do you give something to somebody without expecting anything in return? I think it's something that you can even just ask the question of where you could show up for somebody else in that manner. Absolutely. So maybe you don't even know that you're operating with your blinders on, or you're quick to react to somebody saying, I mean, we have to prepare for it, right?

It's 2024. We know that election season is upon us, and we're gonna start seeing ads, and we're gonna start feeling that divide between people who may think differently than us. But what is the question that you can ask yourself in terms of being present with the human that's right next to you? Because these people we're electing into office or asking to run our country are no different than us. So how do we open up the space to ask questions rather than throw accusations? And maybe that's the rule of reciprocity you need to sit on today.

Maybe that is your capital. Maybe that is your profit in terms of your one on one relationships. That's, how do we do this year? A little different. Because what Jill is teaching her boys is to not, you know, shove somebody aside because their opinion is different. It's teaching them to give somebody grace, which that might hit them in a way that to then give the next person grace when they're having a conversation or a debate when they don't see eye to eye. So, reciprocity, that rule may not come back to you in the way that you expect it to come back to you.

And that is the quintessential definition of expectation. This is giving without expectation. And I guarantee you, even if it doesn't come back in the way you thought it was going to. It will come back in a totally different way that will surprise you. So how can you, what this company did meet over exceed the expectation that you had for somebody that you don't even know? I love it. And junk food junkie, you made a really beautiful comment around. It's like in the little things. So just like Mary said, it's in those little moments when you could react or respond in a way that leaves somebody with a bad taste in their mouth.

It's showing them grace, it's walking with them. It's showing them empathy. Those are the little things that can truly make humanity like you see it for its goodness. Because sometimes it feels like it's us against them and them against us. And that's not life. That's not the world that we want to be in. Cultivating, cultivating and showing our kids that that's how it is as well. And what's cool to land this plane is that company with that tagline. We got to have a conversation with them on Friday.

And if you've gained anything from us, you understand that we show up in full, boisterous moods. We want to match energy or bring the energy up. And we met our match on Friday. It was an incredible conversation. And because we saw who they were as a company and who they were as humans, they instantly wanted to work with us. So they hit their tagline, I mean, dead on, straight in the middle, by leaving us feel just so special about what we were doing and wanting to be a part of that. So now we have a partnership with them.

They're going to send us some gear for camp. They're going to be on our podcast. We're going to do some IG lives. And that's cool because now we get to impact their community and they get to impact ours. So two totally different communities that may not have ever heard of one another simply by showing up full of energy and wanting to create something beautiful in this world, that is our reward for delighting people. So I hope, we hope that you can take this little Tuesday message and implement it into your week somewhere that makes a difference in someone's life because it will also make a difference in yours.

That's so good. Go out and surprise and delight someone because I know a good surprise and delight. And let us know in the comments or on the community feed as well what that is for you. We're here to meet you where you are in your wellness journey. And thanks for tuning in today, you guys. We'll see you on the next episode of Toolbox Talk video Tuesday Toolbox Talk has come to a conclusion. Bye, everyone. Bye, everyone. Have a great rest of your day.