Kathy Joy's live · Sep 17

Hello! It's time to drop anchor. Hello cadre. Hello family. Hello friends. My name is Kathy Joy and my template or my handle for the cadre is SpeakWonder because I like to speak wonderful things into your life. This is caregiver day. There's so many things to offer on the Cadre and today is devoted to showcasing some of the contributors' words. I have a journal. I was just fiddling with it. And in fact, a couple of weeks ago on my live stream, we talked a little bit about the value of writing things down.

So this is my journal and I like to write big. and in different colors. It's fun. This journal has been collecting your words, words from contributors on the cadre, words that have sailed right into my waiting heart that I needed desperately to hear and didn't even realize it. Andy Joyful is in the room. Thank you. Good morning. Good morning from Erie, Pennsylvania. We are on Eastern Standard Time, so it's 1130 where I am. And our world over here woke up to fog. Pretty thick. But I tell you what, the mosquitoes were not deterred by the fog.

I think combined with that heavy humidity and the warmth, it's still warm here even though it's autumn or will soon be officially autumn. The mosquitoes were pecking away at me when I went out to feed the birds. Scoundrels. Your words, contributors, people who bring content to the airwaves here on the cadre are things I carry around in my journal and in my heart to encourage me so that when I look back on the pages, I can be like, all right, that's encouraging. I remember when she said that or when he said that.

So today's live. on Harbor Pilots is all about what others have said. And I just want to put sparkle on these gems. One of them is Betsy Hodges. And so a quote that I wrote in my journal is, if I can't share it, has too much power over me. I wrote that back in early June. And I think along with that, no, that was the next one that I wrote down was from August. We need to stop dwelling in the wreckage of the future. Wow. There's some poetry right there and some wisdom dropping from Betsy Hodges. We need to stop dwelling in the wreckage of the future.

And what she was getting at is we shouldn't borrow trouble from the future when we really don't know what's going to unfold. It could be wonderful. It could be mediocre. It could be as terrible as we think, but let's not borrow from it and let's not bring the future into the landscape of today. Let's just live today. Jen Varale, love Jen. She says, treat the symptom and heal the wound. And then she went on to say, the beauty is in your vulnerability. That's what Cadre is about, being vulnerable, being transparent, being organically real.

in the space we're in right now. Dr. Leslie Davis, she talked in late August about the guilt of letting go and how we maybe are willing to relinquish that thing, that conversation, that relationship, but we're not willing to let go of the guilt. Wow, that hit me. That hit me sideways with truth. So she says, letting go of the investment you've made in the relationship, that's what I'm getting at. She says, I'm asking you to relinquish the investment that you made in the relationship. You know, I had to mull that over for quite a while and then when I was driving somewhere, I think to see my mom and that's who I'm A caregiver too.

Those words, not verbatim, but words like that hit me saying basically you made a big investment in something that wounded you. You need to relinquish that. Sometimes we write words when we hear them or we hear them in a surface way, and then when they drop anchor in our heart, that's when it is life changing. So that was Dr. Leslie Davis on her topic, the guilt of letting go. Dan Griffin, just this past Saturday, he went on the live and talked about how he had just walked, I think, a 20-month journey with a dear friend who died from cancer.

His buddy passed away. Dan was sharing that he made some discoveries about death. And so the topic that evening on Dan's live is death is for the living and basically what I got from that is that funerals are for those who are living not for the deceased what we do is honor that person as best we can we honor their memory and their wishes but we make decisions that minister to those who are still walking around in our grief days funerals and death are for the living He said a lot in about 3 minutes.

It was amazing. Shannon Stauff, she talked about taking your own advice. I do not have the date on this one. Basically, Shannon did a real hard pivot on a difficult morning with her son who was on the spectrum and that is who she caregives. Very difficult morning. In fact, she mentioned in her live that she had awoken with a sense of curiosity and gratitude and She did all the mom things and was just rolling with it. And the day just came in sideways and things went wrong. And she felt guilty. She felt like a bad mom.

Difficult. Her son was experiencing some big emotions. And so she said, don't be afraid to take your own advice. And so she was wrestling with her morning, trying to figure out what she did wrong when she had her aha moment and then gave herself her own advice saying it's not your fault. You are a good mom. She gave advice that she would give to you or me. She gave it to herself. How healthy is that you guys? How healthy is that? Shannon I've learned as I join her live streams is not afraid to unless the support of counselors, friends, therapists, And also she can benefit from her own advice.

And so can you. And so can I. Shannon Paul says, rest in the inevitability of change and chaos. Rest in that because it is inevitable. Inevitable. It's a lot of syllables. Rest in the inevitability of change and chaos. If we rest in that, then when it comes, it won't hit us sideways like a tidal wave. It'll be something we're prepared for. Caitlin Andre is new on my radar. She is now a contributor and she is a joyful strategist. I invite you to watch her lives. Joyful strategy. Another one from Betsy Hodges.

This is rule of engagement number 13. Don't accept criticism from someone whose advice you wouldn't even seek. How many times do we do that? How many times do we shrivel or wither or hide under the shadows of criticism from persons that were not really wanting their advice? The way they speak into the world is not the way it speaks to us. So let's not heed that criticism. Many times it's unsolicited, most times. It's a good rule of engagement. And then she went on to say, I think in that same live, Betsy Hodges said, feelings are a great data point.

That's great. They're great data point, a great measurement tool, but they're not a great guide for decision making. Again, feelings are a great data point, but they're not a great guide for decision making. So acknowledge the feelings, live in the feelings, ride them out, but don't make decisions based on your feelings. You know what? I think a skeeter got into my apartment. I am convinced. I just felt a tiny hypodermic needle in my arm. I tell you, they're scoundrels. I wrote a poem, a haiku, inspired by Christy Larson, who comes on the Cadre weekly.

And here's the poem. And then I'll explain the content that Christy gave us that day. It's A haiku. One person's hustle is another's holy hush. Bookends work and rest. She's talking about how work and rest can complement each other and sometimes what looks like activity and frenzy is actually the hush of resting. Depends on the person. She unpacked a lot more than I'm unpacking. I'm giving you little tiny overviews of what I saw on some of these live streams. So thank you, Christy Larson, for that content that day.

There are so many others. I have journals and journals and journals, you guys. This is the one where I found the quotes I read to you today. But I have other ones, including that larger one I showed you. And as they fill up, I just stack them up. I love this one. This is like really leather bound. And so what I did was go through and glean some of the quotes. That's by no means all of them. There's so many. I invite you, if you're the kind of person that I am that can digest things more completely by writing them down, to have a piece of paper or a napkin or a journal right at your elbow when you're watching a live stream.

Because it will come back to soothe you when you're sad, to encourage you when you're doing great, to applaud you when you've had a victory, and to pick you up when you fall down. So I don't journal in the way that some people think of traditional journaling, such as, today I got up at 7. It was foggy. I fed the dog. That's worthy and of value. And some people like to chart their day. And that would be oh so sweet to be able to go back to 2001 and say, oh, this is what I was doing on this day in 2001.

I'm not organized. I don't do it that way. I write down favorite quotes like from the Cadre. I'm on another app that I get some fabulous quotes from on matters of health and wellness and getting on a fitness journey and staying on it. I have quotes from books that I read. As a matter of fact, that's next. So here we go. Thank you guys. Thank you for the heart. Thanks for being with me today. And if you're on the replay, please feel free to put in the chat something so I know you were here. Even if you weren't here live, if you come in on your break at work or whenever, that's fabulous.

And in the chat, if you are seeing this on the replay, if you could tell me Tell me your favorite season and why. I love icebreaker questions. So let's pretend we're in a room and it's a staff meeting and nobody knows anybody. So we're going around the room. What's your favorite season and why? Mine would be autumn because I got married in the fall. I love autumn and I love everything. The crispness of the air, sunny days with fall foliage. I actually love the muted cloudy days because I believe the colors on the trees kind of burst even more when it's a bit cloudy.

Ollie says hi. Omos says hi back, Ollie. Hello, Oliver. Cutie. This is a poem I wrote down from a book I'm reading. It's called Theo of Golden. In it, one of the characters is Tony the bookseller, and he's a hoot, you guys. He's so funny. Tony is like one of my favorite characters in this novel. And he runs a store called Verbivore. Verbivore, meaning we come into this bookstore and we devour the words. We eat the words. Emily Dickinson wrote a poem about swallowing the words. I'll have to bring that to my next cadre.

It's so cool. So this guy, Tony, is a very colorful character in this novel. And again, his bookstore is called Verbivores. And I believe his character wrote this poem. Are you ready? Herbivores eat Brussels sprouts. Carnivores eat birds. Cashivores eat dollar bills and verbivores eat words. I leave you with that and I invite you to join Miss Shannon Paul, Comedy Through the Chaos. Today, Caregiver Day, this afternoon and this evening is Dr. Cherise and the overview title of her talk is The Menopause Mind.

She always brings something of great value to her talks. Dr. Cherise Johnson, Dr. Cherise on the cadre and I'm ending by saying You're the best. You are a caregiver, even if you don't consider yourself one. Are you a mom? You're A caregiver. Did you help somebody carry their groceries today? You did some serious caregiving. You made somebody's load a little lighter. Are you actively hands-on hosting someone in your house, a relative, a friend, a sibling, somebody who needs 24 hour 7 care. Absolutely, of course you're a caregiver.

To the degree that we are walking each other home, to the degree that we are helping each other find safe harbor and tie that rope on that pier, climb out of that boat and get some rest, to that end we are caring for each other and you're doing a great job. m. Eastern Standard Time. I'll see you next week. Thanks.