Coffee Chats with Dr. D ☕ Join Dr. D every week for real talk on relationships: romantic, friendship, or family. Come for the connection, stay for the reminder that you're never navigating this alone.
Dr. D opens the livestream with casual greetings, jokes about being late, and small talk about coffee and National Coffee Day. This brief intro sets a friendly tone and invites audience interaction about coffee preferences.
Dr. D warns the topic may be triggering and asks viewers to reflect on moments of loneliness or crisis. She names the interpersonal theory of suicide and reassures viewers that help and connection are available, mentioning Cadre as a support space.
Dr. D discusses how people reach out when in dark places, sharing client stories about finding the courage to ask for help and sometimes being met with rejection. She acknowledges how painful that can feel and normalizes the experience of seeking connection.
Dr. D challenges viewers to prepare a list of people to call for different needs, explaining that friends serve different roles and availability varies. She emphasizes choosing people who will answer in a crisis and reminds viewers of non-person resources like the 988 suicide prevention lifeline.
Dr. D urges viewers not to be ashamed to ask for help, affirms that everyone needs connection, and thanks the audience for joining. She closes by celebrating National Coffee Day, previewing upcoming content, and signing off.
Hello, everybody. It's me, Dr. D. I've been having some trouble getting on the live stream, so please forgive my tardiness. And I almost spilled my coffee because this table just moved. But welcome to my coffee chat. And here's a fun fact. If you didn't know, today is National Coffee Day. So how perfect is that? for our coffee chats today. So if you are joining late, watching the replay, let me know what is your favorite brand of coffee. So if you had to just do like a pour over or if you like the Keurig or Nespresso, what brands do you like?
I have been into like the Nespresso machines, but I found out that I prefer the Nespresso brand of coffee. So hopefully this is still working because it says my condition. Yeah, that's what I like to get. I thought I was liking the Starbucks brand, but it's just not hitting. So I do have my coffee today is nice and hot. Oh, there it is. Check it out. So I can't drink it just yet. But I do want to get into a topic that I think it might be a little trigger for some. So I apologize in advance. But let's talk about what it's like to reach out when we need connection.
And this is more specifically for times when we're feeling lonely, when we're feeling like we don't matter, when we're feeling like we're on the edge of maybe making a choice that could have permanent damage. And so I want you to consider those moments, if you've had them before, what helped you get through? Now, I've talked before and it's been a while since I brought this up, but There is a theory, it's called the interpersonal theory of suicide, and it talks about how the meaning of connection is important to keep someone alive.
So we can have thoughts of death, we can have thoughts of harming ourselves, but what happens at Missing Peace is that when we feel like we don't belong or we feel like we are a burden to others and we have the means to harm ourselves, that is the driver of someone thinking about ending their life to actually take action on doing that. And so if you're in that space, I do want you to know that you're not alone, that there is help, and hopefully you're able to see this video and know that there are people who do care about you.
Cadre is a great space to connect, even though it's virtual, but we can help you get connected to the right people. Now I want to talk about how do we combat this sense of loneliness and those dark moments when we don't know who to talk to. We just know we need to talk to someone. Now, I've heard so many stories. I've had clients who have come to me to share their experience of being in that dark place and finally reaching out to get a therapist. And the therapist that they matched with told them that they could help them and how dark and lonely that felt that they finally had the bravery the confidence to ask someone, please help me.
And they were met with, I can't help you. I can't do that. I can't imagine how that feels. And to be honest, maybe I have not been in that dark place to experience that, but I do know, I think we all might know what that feels like to be rejected in a moment where we need connection. And so today I want us to think about making a list and who's on your list. Now when there are times of crisis, when we are feeling so alone and so dark, it's easy for us to tell ourselves like nobody wants to hear what I have to go through.
And then we don't get the help we need. But what if we made this list in advance? And this is the challenge you have for the week, is making a list of people that you know you can talk to and for different reasons, right? There are people in our lives who can hold different conversations with us that speak to parts of ourselves. So we might have a friend that we know we can talk about work stuff with, and we can't talk about anything else. They're our work buddy, right? We have friends or family that we can talk about relationships with, and maybe they don't want to talk about anything else.
Or maybe there's spaces in community where you can talk about the things you have in common with that specific community, and there's a person from that community you know you can reach out to. So your challenge for the week is to make a list of those people that you can call on and what you can talk to them about. But also, I want you to consider the people who are going to answer. Now, this may change over time. I was actually having this conversation with one of my besties, and we realized over time, like we've been friends for over 20 years, probably 30 years.
And We realized over time how our lives individually changed. They got busier, we have things to do, but that didn't mean that we weren't available to each other. We just didn't reach out for different reasons. And now we're in a space where, you know, we used to talk years ago, we used to talk all day, every day. And then life came, you know, we get, you know, kids, work, husbands, right? And we stopped talking for a period of time as frequently as we did. But we knew if we need each other, we could always reach out.
But maybe we hesitated to do that, knowing how busy the other person was. And then we had this conversation recently about, if you ever need me, I don't care what time it is, you can call me. And there are people in our lives that we know if we call them at 2 o'clock in the morning, that they're going to answer, right? And we know there are people who love us still. , that they're just dead asleep, like they're not going to pick up the phone. So that might not be the person to put on your list when you're in a crisis, okay?
Maybe that person is good when they're wide awake and they're alert and available to you, but you got to have those people on your list too who are there anytime. It doesn't matter what time of day or night that you know they're going to answer. They may need time to get alert, but they're going to be there for you. I know for sure I have that person and I'm blessed to say that I do and I know so many people don't. But even if it's not a person, I want you to consider the resources that are available to you.
If you're ever in a crisis, you can just dial or text 988. That's the suicide prevention lifeline. And so if you're ever in the dark space where you just need to let it out, you need connection and it's an immediate need, you can call that number, okay? So don't be afraid to do that. Don't be ashamed to do that. Don't feel like if you do that, you're weak. We all have our moments. We all need a space to vent. We need a space to just know that we matter. And in this space with Cadre, I'm grateful to know that we all matter.
So thank you for your time today. forget to go get your coffee because it's National Coffee Day. We have to celebrate. Even if it's like coffee cake, I'll accept that, okay? But I am so grateful to wrap up this month with you and I'm looking forward to October with a new topic, new series. And so I am grateful for the space and I will see you next Tuesday for our next coffee chat. Bye.
