Luke Wentlant greets the audience, apologizes for technical issues, and names the series Tales of Leadership while setting a friendly, community-focused tone for the talk.
Luke Wentlant greets the audience, apologizes for technical issues, and names the series Tales of Leadership while setting a friendly, community-focused tone for the talk.
Luke introduces the topic of jealousy, signals that the conversation may be emotionally impactful, and asks the audience about experiences competing for roles to set up a personal anecdote.
He describes feeling frustrated, jealous, insecure, and experiencing a tailspin after a friend got a job he wanted, reflecting on how his younger self reacted and hinting at later personal growth.
Luke discusses comparison syndrome, ego, and self-esteem, gives examples of situations that trigger jealousy, and encourages asking 'why' and 'what' to uncover underlying causes and reframe the emotion.
He reiterates the two core questions—why is this happening and what am I jealous of—offers a third about resolution, and emphasizes pausing to reflect rather than festering.
Luke reminds viewers they can change their feelings quickly with reflection, wishes them a good week, thanks them for joining, and signs off.
Good morning, everybody. Luke Wentlant here. I apologize. I tried to go live earlier and I must have hit a button or something and unfortunately it unraveled for me. So I apologize. But my name is Luke Wentlant. I've been at CADRE since day one. I love it here. I live for this community. And this is Tales of Leadership. We are here. We are ready to rock. Thanks for joining me. This one's about jealousy. And this is one of those conversations that might hit you in your gut, it might hit you in your heart, it might hit you in your brain, who knows, but it's gonna hit you somewhere, I promise you that, okay?
Who here has ever worked somewhere where there's like you and maybe a couple other individuals applied for the same job, right? So it's like you and maybe you're working at a restaurant and you're applying to become the lead chef or the lead this or whatever it might be, right? Who here has done that? Raise of hands. Me for sure. So you've applied for a job, your friend has or somebody else has, and they got it over you, right? Who's that happened to? It happened to me. I wish that I was myself today when that happened, meaning I've learned a lot.
over the course of the last 10, 15 years, of how I would have reacted then, but I'm going to tell you how I did react. I was a little frustrated. I was jealous. I had comparison syndrome. I was insecure. My self-esteem was low, and in fact, it caused me to go down a tailspin, and I missed. I thought, like, this was the end of the world. This should have been me. Why not me? My friendship with that individual, I remember somebody asking me, like, He should have never got it. How could they possibly have given it to him?
Mind you, this is my friend that I'm talking about. Call it 25, 26 years old. Remember, like yesterday, right? Fast forward to today. Here we shift, right? So I'm 45 years old, been through a lot, been through life, been through challenges. I'm sure like a lot of other individuals here at Cadre have been, right? So now let's say for instance, I'm not gonna say job or responsibility. Let's say Cadre, Cadre goes up against XYZ company and for let's call it Florida Optum Insurance, not something we're working on, nothing like that, but I'm just saying, it's our organization against another.
And we go up, we present our product and service, they present their product and service, and at the end of the day, they're selected. My mind immediately goes to, this is where I'm not just being sarcastic, this is exactly where it goes to, gosh, we must have missed somewhere, let's self-evaluate, let's look internal. And then let's congratulate the individuals that now get to be able to cover and help other people. Right. So that's just that's me being very, very real. There's other organizations that are raising a substantial amount of money in this space.
You know, 8 million here, 20 million here. And, you know, here we are as the little engine that could and that that can continue to go and can continue to grow and develop and build and all the things. So you can have comparison syndrome over that, or you can just say like, we are exactly where we're supposed to be, and our number one goal is to help others, right? And how we're gonna do that, and this is the way we can do it with the cash infrastructure we have, comparatively speaking. So I think it's just one of those things where if you really take a step back and you think about yourself, when you become jealous, I would ask yourself these two questions.
Why is this happening? Why is this happening to me? And the second one is, what have I done to create this feeling in me? So like number one, why, and number two is what? And then before you know it, when you start to unravel that, you start to unravel the why, usually it's ego, self-esteem, Comparison. And look, sometimes things are valid, right? Where it's just not you and it should have been you and all the things. Okay, that's fine. So it's like, you look through those things and you'd say like, am I just insecure?
Can I not be happy for other people? Just start asking your why questions to yourself and just be really honest. Junk Food Junkie says, being jealous of someone does nothing but bring you down and end up dwelling on it instead of enjoying what you have accomplished so far in your life. What A phenomenal statement, Junk Food Junkie. I can't wait for next Taco Tuesday to see if that's a part of the post because I live for your posts every Tuesday. They're just amazing. If you don't know that here on Cadre, please check in for Junk Food Junkies.
They're just gold, okay? So that's that. And the second one is the what. Like, What is it that you're jealous of? Is it of things? Is it of moments? Is it of opportunities? Is it of financial? Like what is it that you're really jealous of? And then start to ask yourself like, are these truly some of the most important things in my life? Are these some of the most important things that I think are part of my life? Or do I really have like a pedestal over these things? And checking yourself on the why and the what is never really a bad thing.
So I encourage you to do that. And so again, take a step back. The very first blood moment in your heart, your stomach, your head, et cetera, goes to jealousy. And it's this jealousy moment of I'm jealous of Sally, I'm jealous of Tom, I'm jealous of whoever. And you start to, and I want you to ask yourself this, why? am I? Is it ego? We already talked about it. Is it ego? Is it feeling this? Is it comparison? Is it self-esteem? Is it what? are you jealous of? Okay? The next one is by Ro here. What a great comment.
The greatest battles are fought within. When I fight my jealous feelings, growth is always the prize at the end. Me too, man. Me too. I have many of story that I can continue to share about jealousy. And I've been there. Like, I'm not going to sit here and say, like, I don't have jealous feelings. I do again. I do have jealous feelings. I am a human being. Jealousy is a normal emotion. Jealousy is something that you have. How do you curtail it so it sits in a different spot in you, back to the point with Rowic just said, that it can become a growth.
That you can grow through it instead of festering and holding on to comparison and your insecurity or whatever that might be coming up in the moments. So take a step back and think about that today, and I really, really, really want your brain to go here the next time. You ready for this? The next time that jealous bone in your body hits you, and it will, I just want you to ask yourself, why is this happening? Pause and say why. Why am I feeling jealous? Number two, what am I feeling jealous about?
And then last but not least, if you ever wanna take it to the R word in anything in life, what is the resolution of this? What's the resolution of my why? What is the resolution of the what? And what you're gonna find is those individuals that can change the moment from like seconds and minutes, or excuse me, from hours and days to seconds and minutes are the real game changers of this life. You have the ability to change your feeling, your emotion, your mentality, literally by the flip of a switch.
It's up to you. So think about that the next time you're feeling jealous. You all have an incredible week. Thank you all for joining. Made my day. Peace be with you. Bye-bye.
