“You Are Enough”… a reminder you don’t need to become someone else to be loved. Tune into my livestream to hear about how you can have things to work on AND be lovable as you are.
Michelle opens the livestream, welcomes viewers, and announces the central topic: that you are enough. This orients the audience to the video's purpose and tone.
Michelle states the key message and describes the common belief of waiting to be 'fixed' before dating. She highlights how that 'when X, then Y' mindset creates problems.
Michelle explains that growth is lifelong while healing from wounds can have an end, and reassures listeners that they can find love at any age and while still improving. This section reframes expectations about being 'finished' before dating.
Through a personal story about pretending to like hockey, Michelle shows how performative behavior is inauthentic and exhausting. She encourages viewers to stop molding themselves and trust that the right person will accept them as they are.
Michelle discusses how people delay dating for years, the impact on relationship goals, and affirms that insecurities and flaws don't make someone unlovable. She emphasizes that growth and being worthy can coexist.
Michelle recounts her GI struggles and how being honest with a partner led to acceptance, reinforcing that the right person will have compassion. She closes with an explicit call to stop waiting, put yourself out there, and a warm sign-off.
Good morning, cadre. Hi, good morning. I am Michelle. I am a dating coach from Unstuck by Michelle, and I am glad to be here on this stormy Friday morning. I feel like the storm is coming. My dog hides underneath desks during storms. If you have a dog, how does your dog handle storms? So today we are here, Erie, Pennsylvania. Hello, welcome. Today I'm here to talk about the simple concept that has so many layers to it is that you are enough. You are enough. And how this relates to dating is So many people that I work with in my own experience when I was dating, there was this idea that once I make more money, right, once I have my ish together, once I lose weight, once I am healed, then I can date.
And if it isn't obvious, those beliefs cause a lot of problems. They cause a lot of problems because If you're always playing the when, this, then I will, that is like chasing rainbows, chasing rainbows. And so the reminder of today's livestream this conversation is to remind yourself that you are enough regardless of where you're at in your journey. I see that your dog Gracie runs to the bedroom for shelter. Yeah, dogs are scared. They hear things like tremendously more intensely than us. And so like those little noises are like sirens in their ears.
It's probably scary. So With dating, something to remember is that love is not reserved for finished people. And I say finished people because everyone, we always have growth to do. That's my dog. Lucky, come here, buddy. Please shut your mouth. I'm leading. I'm on the live stream. that the reality, I remember I was just saying my dog disrupted me, is that, what was I saying? It was probably really good. Let's go back to that belief about you're enough. Oh, I know what I was going to say. I was going to say that a lot of times people think that you need to be healed to date.
And the reality is, I don't think that's true, right? I think we always have growth to do. We always have growth to do. If someone tells you they're done growing, that's a red flag to me. And that's different to me than healing. I think that healing does have an ending, right? If you've been through trauma or you have wounds, there is a process, there's treatment for that, right? That you can treat it and heal from it. However, growth is long-term, growth is always changing. And here is the deal.
at any age, at any age, I believe that you can find love. Like I believe that you can find love and you can be a work of progress and worthy of love at the same time. Like you can be both. Changing yourself to earn love is exhausting. It's exhausting. Real connection comes from being authentic, not from being performative. I remember when I was dating, I was maybe a little bit of a chameleon. There was this guy that I liked, and I thought he was so cool. And I wanted him to like me. And so I messaged him and was like, Hey, I got tickets to the wild game.
I did not have tickets to the wild game. And I was broke. I was broke and I didn't have tickets to the Wild game, but wanted him to like me. So I was like, I love hockey. Yeah, I have these tickets. Thank goodness he said he couldn't make it. Like, what was my plan? That was a little unhinged, right? But that was me like performing, thinking like, okay, if I pretend to like hockey, if I have these tickets, he will like me, right? And that is so inauthentic. That was like so inauthentic. And So we often think when we don't feel like we're enough, we think we have to change or we think we have to mold or adapt or be a chameleon in order to be loved.
And that is just fake news. The real thing, the real person for you is going to meet you where you're at. They're going to like you for you and they're gonna be with you as you both evolve and grow. So I want you to really get rid of that mindset of once I fix this, then I will date. I work with so many people who've had that mindset and so they haven't dated for years. Most of my clients that I work with are like 30 to age 70. So a lot of them are, I was gonna say older, but I'm 40 and I don't feel old, right?
I feel so young. A lot of people postpone dating. They postpone dating because they say, when I do this, that, whatever, then I'll date. And that mindset keeps people stuck. It keeps people from dating and meeting whatever goals you want in terms of partnership, whether that's long-term partnership, marriage, kids, family, all of those things. And so I want you to remember that you deserve love today. You are enough today. Having insecurities does not make you unlovable. Everybody has insecurities.
Most people have insecurities. And it doesn't make you unlovable. Having flaws doesn't disqualify you from dating. It doesn't. And it's important to remember that we all have character defects. We all have flaws. And unfortunately, I think a lot of people focus on those things instead of all the really great things that you have to bring to the table. Having goals for self-improvement, I think is really important. I think it's great, right? I think it is a sign of somebody who is open-minded, growing, willing.
And so I think having those goals is important. And so some things, again, to take with you is that you can grow and be enough today. Those things can both be true. You are allowed to be loved and in the middle or you are allowed to be loved in the middle of your journey. I remember another little story. This is a little not unhinged. All my stories are a little unhinged. I have GI issues. I have celiac gastroparesis and that just causes problems, right? And I was dating and I was having a lot of symptoms at the time and they weren't quite sure what it was related to.
And I was dating, which like that is hard. So I was like, okay, if I don't know what I'm having reactions to, I just like won't eat when I'm on dates. I sort of go on dates and I remember I was dating this guy and I was like, Oh no, I'm not hungry. I'm not. But I was drinking like so that imagine like but I was just like not taking care of myself because I was trying to you know, pretend like I don't have these issues and trying to like hide them and date. And like, that was so crazy. And I don't know if that guy, I don't think he would have even cared.
Right. But I convinced myself that I'm not enough right now. These GI issues are crazy. They're embarrassing. I'm not enough. So I'm going to shrink myself. I'm going to do unhealthy things so that I can date. That is wild. My husband, like when I started dating him and when I was just older and dating, I said, I have celiac, I have gastroparesis, these things aren't going away, these are lifelong conditions and let it go, be myself. So I would tell him, Hey, my stomach's really upset. I remember one of the first, we were at my condo and I was like, I have to use the restroom.
And my condo was so small and it was so loud and crazy and I was in there and I was like, Oh my gosh, he needs to leave, I'm so embarrassed, I can't go out there, I can't look him in the eyes again. And he texted me and I was in there, he's like, is everything okay? And I came out, I was like, hi. And at that moment I was like, I can be my authentic self. I can be my authentic self and still be loved, right? And that was just like a glorious moment of like learning to just like, it doesn't matter.
The right person is going to have compassion and laugh with you and accept you for the things that you're working on and the areas that you think you need to fix before dating. The right love will not require you to become someone else first, right? And so if you're holding off on dating because you're waiting for this or that or that or this, my encouragement to you is to stop. Just stop doing that and just put yourself out there. Put yourself out there. You have nothing to lose, right? By putting yourself out there and taking chances.
You miss every chance you don't take. And so life goes so fast and things happen, right? And it's so easy to get stuck in the doing nothing phase of life. And when you're feeling like you're not enough, well, you are. And I saw your comment that you're 60, get it, get it, get out there and get it. I do believe that there is so much love in this world. I believe that there's multiple people, four people in this world and you are enough. So write this on a post-it note, put it someplace where you can see it every day and remind yourself that you are enough.
And that's all I got for this Friday. I hope you have a glorious Friday and a lovely weekend. Thank you for tuning in, joining in. Have a good one.
