Sunday Serenity

Hey, good evening. Happy Sunday to everybody in the Cadre sphere. Jason Lennox here with you. Coming to you tonight with Sunday Serenity, February 15th, Valentine's weekend. I hope you all had wonderful weekends. And if you have a special someone that you all got to celebrate, enjoy that time and just celebrate the big day. And if you don't, I hope you get to do something fun. Anyway, I know I got to spend the day working out, kind of catching up on some things, watching my younger cousin play some soccer, and then got to take her out for a little acai bowl for dinner.

So it was a lot of fun. Got to spend some time with people I love. So just wishing everyone had some version of that. I wanted to talk a little bit tonight about a few things. I was reading through my journal. Actually. It's 15 years ago when I was in this halfway house, this treatment program in Owatonna. And last week I was driving by there. So I pulled out my journal just because I drove by, took a picture, it just kind of went back down memory lane a little bit and opened up the journal and was just taking a look at all the things I was writing.

And I was doing some more reading again tonight, and it was just very fascinating that I was just under two months into recovery, just over two months into recovery, and really just talking about how good every day was. And I remember when I was in treatment, they told me that was the pink cloud, or the treatment high, as they called it. And they said, this is what happens. You'll feel good while you're here and then kind of go back out to real life. And I came to my own conclusion on that. I never really agreed with that after that because I felt like what was happening there wasn't necessarily an artificial thing.

I always felt like the reason I had that serenity, that feeling, was because I was, for once in my life actually trying to align with who I could and would be. And I feel like that was just the grace, the mercy, whatever you want to call it, that feeling that comes with being aligned with. With who I could have been and would have been all along, because most of my life, that's not how I lived. I was so far from my potential and where I could have been and what I could have been doing. So there's just always that inner turmoil.

And when I went to treatment, even though my life was in shambles and it was a complete disaster, I didn't have anything. Those moments, those months inside that place where I was striving to get better, trying to understand what My issues were trying to improve them. That's what I regularly journaled about. It was just exciting to kind of be in these groups and understand how I could just do better and be better. And I believe, again, that it's not some artificial feeling that has to be temporary.

That's just a result, a consequence of me doing what I think I was supposed to be doing all along. So, again, I want to talk about a few things there that have just been a formula, because I still do a lot of journaling today. And, you know, it's. It's ironic how similar some of the journaling from then is to today, because most days are pretty good and, you know, grateful for the things and talking about all the things. So. But three things that come to mind in terms of that formula and why that keeps happening, why that felt so good.

Then you know what today is like. I think those three things. First, it starts with just doing the right thing. And they used to always say, just keep doing the right thing. That's what they told me in recovery rooms. And they said, it will. It will always work out. And it drove me bananas early on because I just felt like they didn't understand where I was and how challenging life was. I don't know how I was going to pay bills. I didn't have a job, I didn't have a home, I didn't have money. I just didn't have anything.

And just do the next right thing and it'll all work out. Seemed like a bunch of fluff. I later found out that very much they're right, but I think doing the right thing is kind of the baseline. And again, thinking about that. That grace and that treatment high and everything, like, we just started doing the right thing. And early on, for me, that just meant, don't do any more of the wrong things. Like, I don't. I didn't always know what the right thing was. What does it mean to. To take actions that would align me with, you know, spiritual practices?

I don't know. I couldn't define that, but I definitely knew what I shouldn't have been doing. And that was the way I was living my life for a long time. So doing the next right thing and continuing to just show up and do the right thing was always just for me, the baseline. If I can get there, I think what they're trying to say is, like, that's where the. The magic can happen. From there, if I can keep my baseline straight and I can keep my, you know, life clean and just kind of serene. And free of all the.

All the wrong and all the bad, you know, I've got a chance to do something. And so that's the first thing I always think, you know, if nothing else, I just need to make sure I'm doing the right thing. Second thing is growth. I think the word growth is incredibly important. And as I said, as I was journaling, growth was very apparent. I wrote almost every day about the groups and about what I was getting out of those and about how excited I was that not only had I come a little ways in terms of growing already, but that I could see all the other improvements and all the growth that could be happening in the future.

Here I am 15 years later, and I'm telling you, I still get excited about just continuing to expand. So growing. Growing always has to be a part of the equation. I have to do the right thing, keep the baseline there. Then I learn to grow. And that's spiritually, that's physically, that's mentally. That comes in all different forms. We can do a lot of things. Right now, I would say I'm heavily focused on growing physically with nutrition and with fitness. And again, I mean, the amount of evolution that's happened over 15 years is incredible.

But it is just limitless in terms of what we can do and how we can continue to grow. So growth is key. And then I think as my life grows, as I learn to grow, the biggest thing. This is the one you want to remember. This is the thing to write down. This is the thing to take with. For me, has always been service. When I can be out there and when I can be in service to people, that's when life changes. And then it just becomes like this little bounce back and forth, playing off each other. I grow and I'm in service.

My service is higher than. My level of growth gets higher. And it's just this upward trajectory of growth and service. Again, baseline, continuing to do the right thing. But then I learned to grow. And then with that growth and the way my life has progressed, I can serve and I can serve in a way that looks different than it did back then. I was writing about serving at the NA and AA meetings, you know, putting together the coffee, and I was just happy that I could contribute. Today, that looks much different.

You know, if it's helping out my little cousin, we're going on trips. If it's, you know, getting out and walking 1,776 miles over a few months, they have expanded a ton. But again, that comes from the growth that's happened in my life that allows me to serve in different ways, in greater ways. And when I serve in greater ways, the level of growth that happens is just much greater. So it's just kind of this, you know, the opposite of the kind of pitfall, the spiral, if you will, that happened before, which was, you know, Jason would not feel good.

The only way Jason knew how to feel good, as he learned at a young age, was drinking and drugs. And, you know, to get to that place with no resources meant I had to be harming people, doing things I didn't feel good about. And then that pit in my stomach just caused a level of pain that then forced me to do what? Go back to the drugs and the drinking, which is back and forth on a downward trajectory. So, again, now my life is about maintaining the baseline by doing the right thing, just showing up.

And again, what does that mean? Just maybe not cutting people off in traffic, maybe not cussing people out, maybe not flipping people off. Stuff's happening all the time, and I'm no saint. I get upset. I have days, I have moments, I have emotions. I have all the things. But generally, you know, understanding that I can keep those things in check doesn't mean I don't get upset. It just means that I don't let those feelings turn into action. So doing the right thing in any way that I can, and most importantly, just not doing the wrong thing and not harming people, I think that's always good stuff.

Start. But then it's growth. And how do I grow? You know, personally, spiritually, mentally, physically, financially? I just need to. Professionally, I need to keep thinking about ways that I can continue to grow and not look at that as a kind of race where there's a finish line, because I can just continue to grow and grow and grow until I'm not here anymore. And 15 years of growth proves that. And then the last thing, just the winner, in my opinion, is service. And how are we serving people. I feel like it's an absolute blessing to be able to serve the people in my life, whether it's my family, whether it's my friends, whether it's my clients, employees, anyone that I interact with.

The rest of the world. People I don't know, people that don't know me here on this app. Just finding ways to contribute to the lives of other people in society is really a blessing. And it's the opposite of what I used to do. Not because I was a bad person, but because I had a disease. A disease that put me in places and had me Doing things that I didn't feel good about and that were not good for others. But today, I get to experience the other side of that. So to wrap that all up, keeping the baseline again, I can't say it enough.

We just. We do the right thing and the good things start to happen. And I believe doing the right thing just is the foundation that opens the door for Jason to continue to grow as a person, as a family member, as all the above. And as I grow, my life gets bigger, my life gets better, my life gets fuller. And with that, I have the opportunity to do bigger, better, fuller things for other people and for this world. And as a result of that, life gets a little bit bigger, a little bit better. And so that cycle continues, hopefully, until I'm done here on this planet.

Hopefully, that's the path I take. No telling what happens, but that little formula, three steps. It's been on my mind as I was reading again. It's interesting that 15 years ago, just a couple months into recovery, that I could feel that good and already be in this state of wanting to serve people and wanting to grow and to get better. And, you know, it looks a lot different today, but it's very much the common thread that had me journaling about great days then, journaling about great days now.

So look forward to continuing this conversation next week. Again, I hope you all have wonderful Valentine's weekends. You can have those whether you're with someone or not. Last couple years, I've not been, and I've had just a great time on Valentine's Day and just, you know, love living life. No matter if that's with someone or without someone. Life is really that beautiful. So it can be, and, you know, we'll see where it goes from here. But I hope you all have wonderful weeks as well. And we will catch up again next Sunday for Sunday serenity.

Bye.