Brittany Hagan is an army veteran. She lives about a mile south of where Renee Nicole Goode was shot. She says it's hard to band together when everything feels so divided. But there are common themes that you can find in all of that.
Brittany: Let's figure out some things that we can all agree on universally that we are feeling. She says there are universal truths about the human experience across the board. Brittany: We are trying to build a community.
Rachel: I want to talk about the nervous system. We've been iced in since Saturday. Highly recommend a space heater. I kind of just drag mine around to different rooms.
The nervous system is not meant to be something that you have running on high at all times because it will break down. Sometimes what me and Gogo like to do is we have slow mornings and I love slow mornings. Finding humor is how I've survived.
If you can't breathe, you cannot have a good fight. You're useless to all of us if you are not taking care of yourself. Say you want to fight out in these streets. You can't.
What is your version of oxygen? Is it turning off the news? And feel free to throw in the comments. Sleep is so important. If there's something that you do, kind of helps you reset, feel better.
The hardest thing for me this week has been not being with my three year old. Mine's a little bit of loneliness, which is always kind of embarrassing to admit. What are you carrying tonight?
What are you carrying tonight? If you feel compelled to write in the chat, I would love it. What helps you feel even 5% steadier? Where are you noticing stress in your body?
When the world feels unsafe, being alone feels louder. Really important right now is that micro connection. There's a Cadre support line you can call or text. FaceTime's super powerful too. Remember to be there when it counts.
"I don't always know what to say which is gonna please every side of every argument. But I know that showing up matters. My intent is having a big heart and being useful and lovely and downing tea in front of you, " she says. She hopes you're doing something for yourself this week.
So, Robot, do you have anything to say? Look how beautiful her ears are. She really wants me to go grab the mail. Isn't it crazy that they come at 8:30 at night? It's so impressive. I'm ending the live stream.
Hi. It's like the lamest. Hi. Hi. Hello. Hi. I'm starting early. I'm actually not going to start until 8. Oh. Just in case that's what people are doing is 8 o'. Clock. And so I'll wait. I'm with my dog, Robot. Robot. Let's show everyone. Let's show everyone your ears. Robot's got the best ears. And that's Murph and that's Robot. And they will vie for my attention. So. Hi. 2 ply 85. I'm hanging out until. Oh, it's 8. We can start our live. Hi. This is my dog, Murphy. That was Robot. They probably will be howling.
Hi. Speak Wonder. My name is Brittany Hagan. I am a veteran. I'm an army veteran. I was a combat medic. I am been sober for about 15 years and I live here in Minneapolis. Hi, Rachel. Hi, Ms. Shannon. Oh, I work with Ms. Shannon and I live in Minneapolis. I live about a mile south of where Renee Nicole Goode was shot. So I'm right here. Right here, nestled in Minneapolis, and there's a lot going on. You know what's really hard. Hey, Rachel. What's really hard about talking about all this is you can't really talk about it, right?
Like, can't open up with, this is how I feel. This is what's going on. Because what we found out in this world, in this divided world is like, we can all be watching the same video and see different things. And, like, in some ways that's cool, right? Like, when you're looking at art, sometimes it feels a little crazy when you're looking at videos. And tonight really isn't. I mean, Cadre isn't about debating. It's not about us figuring out solutions about what's going on in Minneapolis or sides or it's actually opposite.
It's about togetherness in times where it's really hard to feel community. Right? And Rachel wrote, your feelings are your feelings. And that's true. I know our feelings are our feelings, for sure. It's hard to band together when everything feels so divided. And I'm so guilty of this. I split custody with my kiddo. Mean, with my husband for my kiddo. And right now things feel a little lonelier than normal. And I don't really feel like going out or doing things all that much right now. It's also, like, you can probably hear my heater on as well.
It's very cold out. It's all the things, right. It's just. It's feeling a little bit more isolated it's giving 2020 vibes and we even talking about it just feels so heavy. I can't stress enough at these times. You shouldn't feel pressure to talk. We all don't need to be okay with everything that's going on and seeing the world the way it is. And you're welcome exactly the way you are always in any live I'm doing. And I'm an army veteran. Okay. Like, my social media is split. What people are seeing, what people are feeling.
But I can tell you this, that everybody feels divided and everyone feels lonely. There are common themes that you can find in all of that. Rachel wrote, it is hard, but sadly, that's the world we live in right now. It's difficult to know who to actually trust talking to. So true. So let's play a fun little game. Let's figure out some things that we can all agree on universally that we are feeling. And I think loneliness is like a really big aspect, right? And like, it is true. Rachel. Like, I'll work out.
I work out at this big old place called Lifetime and sometimes I feel like I don't know how to talk to people because I'm like, where are you coming from? What is your point of view? But the reality of it is, is like there are universal truths across the board. I have worked in the army. I have been on both light right leaning and left leaning. Murph. Sorry. My dog is licking himself. See, like, that's a universally funny thing. I've been in right leaning and left reading leaning radio. And there are universal truths about the human experience across the board and the power of sitting together and maybe not maybe acknowledging that we're not going to figure anything out, but like just being human and how powerful that can be.
Now, I know people are writing in and I love that. And we're gonna keep that going. I want you to say whatever you want right now. The nice thing about me, like I said, I'm a stream of consciousness. And on top of that, there's nothing wrong. You can say. You want to say a strong opinion. Go for it. You want to say, I, Brittany, you're the worst. Go for it. Like, we are in a very safe space when you are at my live. You can say what you want, you can feel what you feel, and there's really no wrong answer.
The idea of it is you're with somebody, you're with me, who's with Murphy, who is licking himself. So make sure you know that you can also sit quietly if you want to and just chill out, have me in the background, have me projected. I don't care. The point is, is we are trying to build a community. We're trying to like. I love living here in Minneapolis. I love living. To be honest, I hate the weather. I hate the weather so much. But I love Minneapolis and I love Minnesota so much. I love the people so much that I currently have a space heater under my desk because my house is like 100 years old.
But I choose to live here because I've lived other places and I've experienced other people and I love this community. I love this community because it wants to create a community and that is very powerful for me. So obviously we know like basic ground rules, like respect, you guys don't need to argue and we can definitely focus on how we're feeling and not fixing the world. I think that is pretty valuable. Okay, I want to talk about the nervous system. I am such a medical nerd. I am currently back in school because I love neuroscience so much and there's something like you have to know about oh sequences.
I believe there can be differing opinions and still have love in the room. A thousand percent breach speech wonder. Rachel, don't get me started with the cold. We've been iced in since Saturday. Okay, sorry. That's awful. Highly recommend a space heater. I kind of just drag mine around to different rooms like some R2D2 best friend. Now let's talk about the nervous system. Let's talk about stress on our body. Your body when it's in high alert starts kind of dropping off the non essentials and it can really with you, right?
If you're always at a sense of fight or flight if you're hitting that like top tier. So when people say things like when you start doing things like you're hyper vigilant, you feel like on alert for a long period of time. Doom scrolling on social media. You feel those like easily spikes of anger. You feel your body shutting down and then urges to numb. Well this is you pushing your nervous system to its extreme. The nervous system is not meant to be something that you have running on high at all times because it will break down.
Your body will break down your body. I mean I didn't want to put a Toyota Camry, but that's the first car that came to mind is revving at a Toyota Camry a hundred percent. And let me tell you, the car is going to break down. So these reactions are human. But you have to remember it's not like silly for you to be in a place of turning on Disney plus. That's just what we watch a lot at our house, Disney plus listening to I have a radio station, MyTAK 107. I don't own the radio station. I have a radio show, MyTak171.
It is super fun and gossipy and we laugh and we have a good time. And sometimes that feels stupid when big things are happening and I go into work and talk about, hey, are people gonna be rocking corsets all winter long because Wuthering Heights is coming out. But then I remember that there's actually a really important reason why I show up and do my job and talk about family stuff, celebrity stuff, TVs is because back in the day when we were like living in trees and fighting dinosaurs, I know we're not around.
When dinosaurs were just go with me. Our bodies would be at an extreme fight or flight. And then we would have to break down and go somewhere and find shelter and relax. We're not meant to be at high alert all the time in because of technology. Technology is great. That's how I'm talking to you. We wake up to 75, 000 alerts, alarms in our face immediately, like, this is us unconscious. Grab your phone. Holy, the world is burning. Right? Because how does media get where they get? They have clicky baby things.
They make things the worst. And sometimes, simply put, things are the worst and things are currently the worst sometimes. So jumping on your phone immediately maybe isn't the freaking vibe right now. Maybe it's kind of that Back to basics. Sometimes what me and Gogo, my three year old like to do is we have slow mornings and I love slow mornings. We don't get them all the time, usually on Mondays and on the weekends and we. Mom doesn't look at her phone. We either turn on music or honestly, sometimes a cartoon.
In the morning we'll watch an episode of Bluey and we lay in bed and we don't. We don't interact. Yet a slow morning. Highly recommend. So Rachel wrote, finding humor is how I've survived. Isn't that so important? And it's funny because we think we're. We're like doing the wrong thing. And I can't stress enough. This happens to me all the time. I made tea. Look, look at me. I'm cosplaying as a chill person. And sometimes I feel really silly because I like taking breaks. I'm a workout girly. I'm a celebrity gossipy girly.
I'm a real housewife girly. I know it's bad. And it's nice to just like bubble gum for your brain, right? But it really is like this needed thing that we have. I think. I think I talk about this all the time. I know I talk about this all the time. In sobriety, it's so important to find that balance, right? Because you feel guilty if you're not plugged in. And you also can't do this forever. You can't be in fight and flight all the time. I think that is really important. To go back to this. Sometimes sayings are sayings because they're just so dang true is you have to put your oxygen mask on first.
You can't help anybody if you can't breathe. Oh, Ms. Shannon. My whole vibe is using humor to process things. I know that for sure. Like, I know Ms. Shannon. And it's so funny because Ms. Shannon, I mean, I think people know this. She might be the smartest person I've ever met. And I'm not saying, like, for a comedian or for this or for that. Like, Ms. Shannon is freaking smart. Retains things like that. Like, her brain is magic. Also in that same human is somebody who enjoys comic books and superhero stuff because she knows her.
Her brain knows how important it is that she also has silly things in her life and fun things in her life. And I think that's really important. Okay, so we were on this whole oxygen mask thing first, right? You can't help Ebony, anyone. If you can't breathe, you can't have a good fight. Say you want to fight out in these streets. Say you want to, like, scream from the top of your lungs at things. You can't. If you can't breathe, you can't fight. You're useless to all of us if you are not taking care of yourself.
What does oxygen look like right now? I wrote that down and I thought this would be kind of fun to think of. What is your version of oxygen? Is it turning off the news? And feel free to throw in the comments. What is your version of, like, getting oxygen? That bubble gum for your brain? That, like, I need some self care, hydration, and food. That's always good. We do love that. I just made ice cream. I'm really into making my own ice cream. Spoiler alert. It's not as good as Halo top. So sometimes I'm just kind of like, why did I buy this ice cream machine?
But here I am calling up somebody. Is that your oxygen is calling somebody. And maybe not talking about everything or maybe talking about everything. For me, staying sober, that's always going to be a part of my oxygen. Super valuable to me. Sleeping. Oh, can we always talk about how two things about sleeping. This is my favorite thing about sleeping. I'll never get enough. And I'll never, ever underestimate how good sleeping is for us. And like, what's so funny? As when you're a teenager and you get all that flack for sleeping in.
I look back at that time, I'm like, why didn't I sleep till like 3pm? Oh, I love sleeping. I love sleeping. And sleeping is so good for you. It's so good for you. There's not a million studies can happen and it always comes back to is humans need more sleep. How great sleep is for the brain, how it's great for your nervous system, how it's great for everything. Weight loss, weight gain. If you're trying to gain muscle, your cognitive, your unconscious, your. All these things. Sleep is so freaking important.
And I know you know, it's like water. You can't have too much water. But sleep, I honestly, I don't know anyone who's getting too much sleep. Prove me wrong. But what is your oxygen? Throw in the chat. If there's something that you do, kind of helps you reset, feel better, kind of get back to you. This is an indulgent stuff. So, like you could put a massage, you could put nails done, get your freaking lashes done. I mean, it's 2026. We're in a real place of like, if it brings you happiness, you should do it.
I mean, that being said, like, obviously I don't drink. Maybe you shouldn't do drugs. I think there's those things. But like, I really am, like, if you want to go buy something for yourself, go get it if you want to. If getting your nails or doing your eyelashes make you feel special, I don't know, foster a dog. There's so many cool things going on with fostering right now too. If I know the bond between AKA secondhand hounds. They're doing emergency foster for families that need fosters in this situation.
I love when my teenager sleeps. Less work for me. Ms. Shannon, you know how painful it is to wake up Margot because she'll take a nap and I'm supposed to wake her up at like 4pm so she'll sleep at night. If she's sleeping, I hate waking her up. Oh, Rachel. Mindless art, coloring, watercolors. Rachel. I just got a color by. A color by number thing and I got it for Christmas from my aunt Peg. Had no interest in it. I'M not artsy. I don't care anyways. Go, go. My three year old was coloring. I picked up that bad boy and I was like, all right, let's give it a go.
It's better than puzzling. And if you know, you know, puzzling is amazing. I can't because I have a cat. And they will hit the puzzles. Color by number. Numbers. Time flies by and I'm such like a, a neat activity in my face all the time. Color by numbers is like scratching my ADHD brain. And a way like it's, it's like when you clean your ears, it feels so good. Okay, I have some more questions. If we want to do some. A little more engagement, I was thinking we could play some. I wrote gentle audience engagement.
I guess, I guess, like I'm a gentle parent now. Okay, no pressure, but let's reflect on some things that are going on with ourselves. Hmm. What's been hardest this week for you? What has been the hardest thing for you this week? Think about that. What has been the hardest? And it might be something simple, Like maybe it's grocery shopping. Maybe that's been something hard. And like sometimes putting a word on it is very powerful for me. It's been. I have no interest. I miss my kid. I got to spend so much time.
Me and my kiddo just traveled to Williston, North Dakota for my grandma's hundredth birthday and we spent so much time together. And she's at that age where she is a little mini me. We like to go to Starbucks. We like to go to Lifetime and Target. Like we are such. So my hardest thing this week for sure is not having my kid Margo, having out of Margo. I mean, obviously the world feels like it's on fire. And so that to me, when I have Margot, I have an excuse to really just focus on her when she is not here.
I'm not my best self. I'm. I'm. He will buy things, which I know is not awful, but like, I should not buy things. I should text people that I should not text. I stay up late. The hardest thing for me this week definitely has been not being with my three year old. What are you carrying tonight? What is the thing you're carrying with you? Mine's a little bit of loneliness, which is always kind of embarrassing to admit because we're not supposed to be lonely when we're alone, right? And I'm a little lonely.
So very thankful for this live talking to people. What are you carrying tonight? So again, our first one was what is what's been hardest this week for you. What are you carrying tonight? If you feel compelled to write in the chat, I would love it. If not, totally fine. What are you carrying tonight? Yeah, I'm having like. And I said it's not a big one. And actually even verbalizing loneliness. My golden is such a golden. Even verbalizing loneliness. It's like, that's so silly because most of my life I am not alone most of my time.
I have a very social job. I have my 3 year old with me most of the time. So it's funny to even say I'm lonely because, like, there are times in my life I'm like, I would love five minutes by myself. So I almost have to borrow from that woman who needs that five minutes and tell her, like, be here. And the other question I wrote, I wrote two more other questions. So if you feel compelled to write, totally do it. If not, that's fine. What helps you feel even 5% steadier? I think that we kind of covered this and like, what, what's your oxygen?
I Murphy just burped. I think animals for me, right? I like having my animals near me and even complaining about my animals feel right. Like, God, you're so this, you're so that. And then where are you noticing stress in your body? Mine's right here. This is where I'm feeling my stress. Ms. Shannon wrote, I think we can still be lonely around other people. Isn't that true, Ms. Shannon? It's actually usually the only time I feel lonely is when I'm going through something and I'm in a group and I can't verbalize the thing I'm going through.
That's actually the only, usually the only time I feel really lonely. Like in these moments, honestly, I will turn on Real Housewives and be just fine. Or like, attempt to make more ice cream. We'll see. It's not good ice cream. And I usually feel my loneliness when I'm with a group of people that A, don't know me very well or B, I have something big going on that I can't really verbalize. And again, where are you noticing stress in your body? I'd love to hear that. I'd love to hear where people feeling stress in their body.
I am so trying to hold off because there's a massage place not too far from where I live and I'm like, that's what I want. I want to put aside some money and get like a really good massage. Like a 90 minuter. I know, okay. Let's talk about isolation. Loneliness in uncertain times. I wrote let's Talk About Isolation. When the world feels unsafe, being alone feels louder. Isn't that funny? Because we're just talking about how, like, loneliness can come into play. And, like, that's a big theme for me because I don't feel lonely that often.
I'll be very honest. I have a radio station. I talk for three hours straight. Even before that, here's my other dog, robot. She's the one who sounds like a reindeer bolting in. I started getting monthly facials. Oh, that's so smart, Ms. Shannon. Okay, so I don't feel lonely very often. I'll be very honest with you. I have a very social job. I talk for three hours on a radio show. Ms. Shannon knows my talk is a very social place in general. I am around people all the time. My sister lives a mile from me, so it is rare I feel lonely.
So in a world right now that feels very chaotic and kind of scary, it's weird because I'm getting these little flashes of loneliness, of missing my kid in a way that, like, I'm feeling lonely. It's just really, the outside being so loud and scary makes me feel very aware of when I am alone sometimes. Really important right now is that micro connection. Maybe this is a micro connection for you. That shooting a text to one person sitting in on this live writing in the comments section. That micro connection to be surprised can go pretty far.
So keep those up, reach out to people, send people texts, send people videos, text people memes, whatever your way of feeling that micro connection. Because we can't always sit down and get lunch with people. It's just not realistic in this time to always have time to do that or the finances to go out to eat. So, like, shoot people, text. FaceTime's super powerful too. Remember to be there when it counts. And other people want to be there for you as well. And yeah, okay, I want to make sure to say some resources now.
Cadre is doing these nightly community lives from 8 to 8:30. Make sure you tell people, too. It's free right now. You can have a free account if somebody. You know. I think my dog is eating a plastic dinosaur. Murph. Ro. Drop it. So Cadre right now is free. If you know anybody who kind of needs a little hang. And I know that the code is together, all capital letters. And let's talk about other things. There's a Cadre support line you can call or text. 6512-62-6015. You can also email at support c a y d IO and then also there is the suicide and crisis lifeline.
That's a caller text 988 and you know how crazy a difference it made when they made the texting available. I read this in this big article. I like to give time and energy to to be continued which is this suicide awareness group that goes out to small towns. We when they turn the 988 crisis line to a text it was a game changer. So they are super available for texting. Any way to reach out is important and it can save lives. So make sure people in your life know that and that you know that. And then yeah, I think always checking in on people that you love and adore and showing up is not only helpful to them but it's helpful to you.
Right? Be helpful is helpful. I'm so sorry I'm yawning. It's. I don't know, it's 8:30. I got like some weird excuse. I'm tired and yeah, none of us are going to solve the things that are going on in the world right now and we don't need to solve it right now. This is not the type of thing you solve in a night, in a day, in a week. Actually don't need the right words to show up for people as well. I think that's really important. We always want to figure out exactly what to say. Even when I was going to come on this was like I better say the perfect thing.
When have I ever said the perfect thing? Literally never starting a conversation, being there for people, that's what's important. You know what's really like really, really powerful verbalizing. I don't know what to say right now but I'm showing up. That's kind of how I felt at this live today. I don't always know what to say which is gonna please every side of every argument. But I know that showing up matters. I know I have. My intent is having a big heart and being useful and lovely and downing tea in front of you.
But I think that showing up, being there, saying yes to things and knowing that like the nice thing about Minnesota is we were born on. We're born strong. We're born in the idea of connection. We're. We're going to get through this and we're gonna be stronger for it and you have to lead with love. I know that's a hard one right now because people have such differing views. What should happen to people in our lives. And listen, hate never fixed Hate. So come into things with love and understanding and that everybody is coming from their own perspectives.
So I hope wherever you are, you're feeling safe, you're feeling warm. I hope you're doing something for yourself this week. And please reach out in any way. I know that everybody here at Cadre wants to be a helper and how powerful it is to have community. I am gonna go chase my dog down because I can hear him chewing on a plastic dinosaur. I'm so thankful for this community. I'm so thankful for all of you guys for showing up, for all the people that commented. Rachel, Ms. Shannon, thank you for Cadre for setting this up.
It's funny how I started out being like, I'm very lonely. And now I'm like, I actually feel good. I feel like it's enough social time. 30 minutes of monologuing feels right for me. If you know me, 30 minutes of monologuing is really nothing. You're welcome because I could talk for days. But I'm very thankful. I'm thankful because I would not have done anything like this had I not set it up through Cadre. Have Cadre not set it up. So, Robot, do you have anything to say? Anything powerful to say? Look how beautiful her ears are.
She's got the best ears. She's from the Bond Between, AKA secondhand hounds. She really wants me to go grab the mail. The mailman just dropped stuff up. Isn't it crazy that they come at 8:30 at night? It's so impressive. All right. I'm sending so much love to you, your family, your community. And I know, I know things seem a little wonky right now, but trust and believe. We all are doing our best. And I know you are too. Okay, bye. I'm ending the live stream. Robot, anything? Last words? Thank you.
