Comedy Through The Chaos: Parenting Edition

Good morning everybody. Hello and happy Saturday to you wherever you are. It's been a week, hasn't it? And that's probably something that we'll end up saying often. Unfortunately, if you are joining me in the replay for the first time, I am Ms. Shannon Paul and I'm a variety of word related things like a comedian and a corporate speaker and a voice actor and an event embassy and a benefit auctioneer. I'm also the proud parent of an adorable 17 year old kiddo who happens to be high supports on the autism spectrum.

And I am happy to join you today for this parenting edition of Comedy through the Chaos, a conversation that we have about all the chaotic things that we are navigating as human beings on this giant rock floating around in the universe. And things are Hello Andy Mack, Good to see you in the chat. It's been a while since I saw your name. I hope that you are well friend. I think that you're a little closer to our particular chaos here that I was just going to kind of get to here in the Minneapolis region.

It definitely has been one of those complicated weeks, I think to navigate the strata of emotions that we have to strap have to navigate as human beings that things are going on because weeks can be very heavy and then there are still people that we need to care for and that we care about. And I think that often as caregivers and parents, we're put in that position of trying to figure out how to help navigate both of those spaces to help the people that we work, that we love and we care for stay regulated.

But also in a position where we need to maintain our own self regulation and figure out we're going to have to do. And that's a lot. And so a lot of what I think that we as contributors are covering here in the Cadre sphere right now is that concept of really figuring out how to start where you are. And that's one of the things that I kind of was talking about on Thursday as well, is how do you start where you are, especially when nothing feels normal. And for me personally, especially since I'm a comedian and a performer, a lot of that imbalance comes from the fact that a lot of what I do is supposed to be entertaining.

I'm supposed to be able to give you the levity in what is going on throughout life. And that normally is kind of organically what I do because that's how my brain processes. You know, it's not that I think everything is funny, it's just that things get processed A lot more quickly. And humor is how I kind of do a lot of that stuff. Stuff especially when we're in difficult situations. So that is how things have been playing out this week. I'm gonna reach over here because I'm feeling unmoisturized.

That's how things have been playing out lately. And the other thing that I think is complex about this situation is that even though some things are completely imbalanced and heavy and complicated, there are are some things that we are working on going. If things were normal, this is still the way it has to play out. So a number of schools here in our region are going to go to distance learning for a while while things are overly heavy and not necessarily the safest to be leaving on regular basis.

But my son's school is still in person. So that means it's still getting them up, getting them there, making sure that things are safe, trying to figure out what those, you know, mini travel days look like today, you know, it could have been normal, but in a typically unnormal fashion for him, he decided that today is going to be a sleep in day. So I just was texting back and forth with his adaptive personal trainer about, you know, whether she should come here today because she normally gets here at 11 o' clock central our time and he's still asleep and I don't know what kind of mood he's going to wake up in.

So I don't want to make her drive all the way over here and then have him be in a less than personal training type of mood. So that's a waste of everybody's time. So we decided to push that today and I'll find something else for him to do once he decides he's gonna wake up. So I think it's just reminding us that parenting and caregiving and all of those things don't necessarily pause when we really would like them to. You know, even though we would like to have a reset right now, even though there's a lot of external chaos, all of those things that we do as parents and caregivers don't necessarily pause because they still need us and they still need their routines as best as we can provide them.

For all of us, emotions are high and of course nothing feels settled right now. And accepting that uneven energy and for me, just letting today be today is really what has been the best course of action for me right now. And reminding myself that I can't sit there. Hello Carolyn. Good to see you. I can't fortune tell into the future on the good side or the bad side. But what I can do is let today be today and get through and figure out what we're gonna do. And the farthest that I try to look is a couple of days into tomorrow.

And yes, we still have our general goals for the future. Yes, there's still a lot of those things that we are going to strive for. But for me right now, one of the best things I could do for my son is modeling that calm honesty instead of trying to get into this panic of productivity. So some of our big, loftier goals in the family, I'm putting on a little. A little mini slowdown and go, you know, we're going to get there, but maybe we're going to get there more incrementally just because there's no point in putting in this super heavy burden when a lot of the energy that I think both of us need right now is the energy to put into self regulation and to figure out how to make sure that we are able to continue to provide the internal respite that we need so that we don't fry.

So that's my goal as a parent and a caregiver right now, is to figure out the best way to give us both grace like today. Go ahead and sleep in. The best way to make sure that we have our moments of joy and humor and levity. Because I truly believe, and a friend of mine shared this too, that joy is an act of resistance when the world is dumping chaos on you, making sure that we are holding space for our own anxiety that we have right now. And that that does not mean that we are off track. It doesn't mean that we are behind.

It doesn't mean that we are lacking, and it doesn't mean that we're bad parents or caregivers. What it means is that we are going to put our parenting skills into this bucket for the time being and we'll see. And these other things are going to end up working as well. So what I'm thinking on is I have a couple of prompts that I'm created for myself that I am using right now to help let today be today. So the first one that I've been noodling on is, you know, what does starting where we are look like for our house today?

So it's what is starting where we are look like for our house today? So some of that is, hey, I'm going to let him go ahead and sleep in. It's the weekend, he's a teenager. You know, I'm going to let him sleep in. I'm not going to sit there and push force into. You need to be up and there's an alarm. It's like, no, we're not that. We're not going to be that family today. So that's part of where I'm going to start. Where he is today. When he gets up, we'll do stuff, we'll figure it out. I have things, you know, we always have things and those things will happen.

And the other thing that I'm going to do is I'm going to decide what pressure I'm going to release as a parent in this next week. So for me, some of that pressure is the long term. I have to. It's okay. If we don't do speech and get every single moment in, is that gonna throw him off for the rest of his life? And that kind of just, just the, the way that we have a tendency to catastrophize, that's the way my brain works. And it's like, that's not right. Reality, Shannon. Get it together. Get it together.

So for this week, some of the things that I'm actually. Hello, Anna. Good to see you. Some of the things that I plan to practice to be able to release that pressure on me as a parent for the week is that I'm reprioritizing some things. There's some stuff that I had been putting off that I just knew was going to be a pain in the b***, honestly. Like some things like he needs to get a state idea and it's. No, it's not going to be thing. I need to get him a passport. I need to do some stuff like that.

So, so those are some of the things that I'm going to put into practice doing those instead of some of those long term hard things like, oh man, I got to do speech again this week. I'm going to get to all of those things. So those are the two things and I'm going to add in one more thing that I think is appropriate for what we're all dealing with right now is what feels harder than usual right now because maybe there's some things that you're just kind of really not processing. Maybe there's some things that you're going, you know, if I just don't think about it, then maybe it'll be better than I think.

Or maybe there's some things in your life that you're going. I don't want to admit that they're as hard as they are. And I think it's good for us to be able to look at that and admit those things. So be honest with yourself. What feels harder than usual right now and give yourself space to go. Yeah, that's the thing, you know, that's how my life feels right now. There are some things that, hey, you know, I'm still bouncing back from them. They are a lot more difficult than they were. So today I'm looking forward to the opportunity to have a boring day.

A day of folding laundry, a day of. Of getting through our pile of clothes, a day of maybe getting my kiddo to do an art project with me, or at least getting him to watch me do the art project. Well, he could tell me no and he doesn't really want to participate. I'm looking forward to that day and then I will look forward to whatever comes of tomorrow, and especially in this heavy time. Hopefully that will give us the ability to step by step get to our next moments of peace, our next moments of joy, our next moments of when the life can feel a little bit more carefree again.

And we hopefully will get there together. So everyone, deep breath, be safe. I hope that the day treats you well. If it doesn't, shame on it. Not shame on you. I do plan to see you back here in the Cadre sphere at, on Thursday again, just so we can check in. I'll be here on Thursday at 2pm Central for another opportunity for us to talk about all of the chaos that we have going on. And I'll let you know what amazing comedy things I might see in it in the meantime. So everybody be well, be safe, and we'll see you on Thursday.