New Year’s Eve

I think it's connected. It said something weird. Hi. Hi. Welcome. Welcome. Me. I am so pumped to be here. It is January. Nope, just kidding. December 31, 2025. Which is wild because this last year has been a whirlwind for me. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to it. It's been a craz, crazy year. I can't decide if I'm like, pumped this year is coming to an end or kind of weirdly bummed about it, but all the feelings, it feels like such a reflective. Oh, hey, speak wonder. Always feel so reflective right when you are at the tail end of a year.

So anyways, my name is Brittany Hagan. I am a veteran. I've been sober for 15 years. I am a divorce, say, as of this last year. So that's why, I mean, like, for me, it's been a crazy year. Single mom of a three year old. I have a radio show here in Minneapolis, the Brittany and Kendall show. And I am just pumped to be a part of Cadre. This last year has been fun because that's been added to my life. So it's funny when you look back at a year, sometimes you can do that. Like, I don't know, it's been hard, right?

But then you also go, there's so many cool things that happen. I've acquired actual friends through Cadre. I'm like BFFs with JC and Shannon and Carrie. It's just been really fun to. To kind of remember to like, look back at the year of. Not only would it really hard things happen, like I bought my own house and. And all that stuff. Oh, sound cut up in my peace and joy. Can you hear me? I hope it's working. Somebody give me something. Give me something. Give me something. Tell me that the volume is working.

I've never been told people can't hear me because I'm a very loud person. So if you can hear me, give me some. Oh, I got a heart. I feel like that means you can hear me. Okay, then I'll keep rambling, which is what I'm really good at. Like I said, thank you, Rachel. Oh, shout out, Pennsylvania. You guys can hear me there. So. So again, it's kind of like weird how we find ourselves looking back at the year and being like, that was a rough year. Or we grab onto one thing and just like anything. It's funny when anyone asks me about my deployment, they said, how's your deployment?

It's like, well, it's hard to capsulate one year, right? So it's kind of like whatever tone you're feeling in that month or that last week is kind of how you're feeling. It's weird. I had a really intense last year. Like I said, me and my ex got divorced. I moved into my own little house here in Minneapolis. And it's. That's what sticks out, right? Well, this last two weeks has been a lot of gratefulness. I've been super grateful. One of the things I'm insanely grateful for is I was able to do my first home renovation by myself.

And, I mean, pay for it. I didn't make anything, but I. I put a fireplace in, which, if you're in Minnesota, you know how amazing. And it just feels like I. I'm growing new legs. And I really appreciate that. Now I really want to talk about sobriety. I definitely want to reflect on maybe, like, in a week or so, we can reflect on, like, what our years feel like and some intentions we want to put forward. But I really think it's so important right now to talk about sobriety. As we know, a lot of New Year's is around drinking.

It just is. Like, it's one of those holidays you're gonna find yourself, if you're newly sober, you're gonna want to bow out of things, which, like, honor that it's just one night. It's funny, even when I was an alcoholic in my drinking, I would say that's a night for amateurs anyways, but that's kind of a joke. But there's a lot of expectations around. Thanks. A lot of expectations around New Year's. Right? There's, like, the champagne of it all. The countdowns, the resolutions, the parties. And the reality of it is, is this is just one night.

You know, it's that same concept of reflecting back on a year. This is just one night. And I'm, like, right on the fence of does one night matter or does one night not matter? But I will say this. It's why I painted my nails. It's why I actually put on makeup. I know this is rare that I have makeup on and kind of did my hair. I mean, the best that I can do is I like the setting of intentions. I like the idea that, like, you know, I think it feels good. Sometimes you're feeling overwhelmed. It's nice to be at a place of new slate, new intentions.

If you're somebody who is kind of playing around with sober, curious. I know a lot of people go, well, New Year's is my backpack. Big night or whatever. And then I'M gonna do dry January. I challenge you. I challenge you to play around with being sober tonight. And you don't have to tell anybody. It doesn't have to be some grand gesture where you go out into the world and say, I'm sober. Like, this could literally just be your fun little secret to yourself, is that I'm not gonna drink tonight. And I don't have to tell people.

This can be something you hold near and dear, especially when you first get sober. I highly recommend you kind of. I mean, not keeping it to yourself, but, like, being very cautious of who you tell just because, like, anything precious, you kind of want to be protective around it. But I challenge you because I want you to think about what are the things that can come that you automatically put around drinking that you can still do while sober. And that seems dumb, but, like, a lot of people will be like, well, I have to drink to go out.

No, you don't. No, you don't. I have to drink to dance. No, you don't. I have to drink to be social. No, you don't. I think this might be more fun than you think. You can pretend like you're a secret agent. Happy New Year, Carrie. Carrie's. Carrie and I are gonna definitely do a live stream very soon because we had way too much fun doing one for Thanksgiving. Oh, Happy New Year to you too, junk food junkie. I think that there's a really fun aspect to going out in the world tonight and being your own little secret agent and having your own little secret of not drinking.

And I don't even mean it in the way that you have to be like me, because I'm one of those annoying alcoholics. The part of me that is an alcoholic, 15 year veteran, literally army veteran, is, like, very old school. I like calling myself an alcoholic, but you don't need that title if you don't want it, if it doesn't serve you. And that's something we should lean into this year is the idea of what serves you keep and what doesn't. Doesn't. And for me, being called an alcoholic serves me. But if you're somebody who's, like, playing around with it, go out in the world tonight, and I challenge you.

And it doesn't mean you're gonna be sober tomorrow, or it doesn't even mean you're sober all night. I challenge you to have a very intentional, maybe in an hour, maybe a whole night of being sober, interacting. And the things that you tie around sobriety, I promise you, aren't actually things that you tie around drinking aren't actually applied to drinking again. Like, I can't stress enough. There's a whole world of people that dance sober. I am one of them. And like, there's something really, like, I always call it, like, I have, like, the best memory.

Everyone always thinks I have a really good memory. And it's just because I'm the only sober one out and I can remember all the things. I want to talk about being a veteran as well. Oh, junk food Jetty said I prefer stay home off the roads on New Year's Eve because of all those that drink and drive. I get that. Totally get that. I play both things. I've been out hard recently where I went dancing all night a couple years ago. Tonight I'm hosting at my house with my parents, and me and my friend are gonna host a kind of like a fun, like game we're gonna do.

But I get it. Like, the roads are bad, people are drinking. Do whatever serves you, but definitely don't. I don't know. I also think it's something funny when you first get sober, you feel that need to, like, prove that you can go do it. If you don't have to prove anything to anybody, don't. How much money can you save and how much freaking, like, not having to walk around in this cold weather. It's lovely. I want to touch on also being a veteran, and there's a really weird thing that happens when you're in the military where you often miss holidays, especially when you're deployed.

I mean, obviously when you're deployed, you're gonna miss all the holidays. And it can be actually kind of hard to be back in the mix because you're not really used to really taking on those traditional roles and especially if you're a veteran who. Who is also sober. So it's something worth noting. I know I'm going to do a lot of things around veterans here soon, but I just want to like, touch on that that sometimes you have to cosplay as being. And this can apply to anybody really is like cosplay as somebody who civilian or somebody who's enjoying those moments.

And eventually they will come. And I know that sounds fake or like when you work through them, they will come. But for a long time after my deployment, I felt kind of silly celebrating the holidays because it felt. It felt like I had put that in a weird box in my brain for other people, for not me. And I think that happens with a lot of people going through big changes as you feel like you're cosplaying and to which I say cosplay. Lean into it. Do the things. I was really lucky when working with a therapist and kind of faking it till I make it that that will come.

Is surprising that there is a lot of things marketed around New Year's that are so unhealthy and so not gonna serve you. And I think that you just remember that's really important to touch on that. Things I always call it like the rotten tooth is like, you can touch on that. Remember that. Think it through. I saw some somebody the other day was like New Year, new me. And I really been thinking about that a lot. And like, I have a friend who lost £250 and he sends me pictures of him at his biggest weight.

And we both decided we're just not going to talk crap about the person that we were or the person that we are. And it's kind of like, does this make sense? Is that like, I am so thankful for the darkest parts of my life because it's why I am here. So I'm not in a place of saying new Year, New me, because it is a continuation. I wouldn't be where I'm at if I wasn't for my darkest places. And like, it's really funny like I said that weight loss one is so palpable, right? Like, he sends me old pictures of him and I'm always like, you know, I love that guy.

I love that guy. Because that is who you are now and that's where, like where your heart is. And I love looking back at my past years and I know that this will be one of them, this divorce year and this my last, like 15 years of sobriety. But I love looking even at the other years because it's such a continuation of who you are and how beautiful that can be. So we're not gonna New Year, New Year, New Year, new us. We're gonna keep growing. It's kind of like I have a great analogy because I'm rambling so much today.

I have like a whole outline that I've skipped the seed. Being mad at the seed as a plant grows and becomes beautiful flower, it's like you're mad at the seed for existing. Well, it needed to exist, it needed to be planted. It needed to be in the dirt to grow into the flower. So let's not be mad at the old us. Let's not be mad at the seed. Let's not be mad at the darkest parts of us. Let's not be mad at the growth let's not be mad at that person from 2025 or 2020 or 2018, because that's the seed us.

And that needed to exist. It needed to be in the dirt, and we needed to water that and we needed to grow. So to be the flower we are. Let's not get mad at the oldest because that's. It's. It's. It feels counterproductive. And I also feel like nobody grows if they don't need to. You don't. So why would you be mad at the idea that you took time to get better and be better? They talk about this in Hollywood a lot, is that when somebody becomes very famous, they don't grow from that age. And that's because all the walls and all the reasons to grow have stopped.

All you've got only yes. People around you, and there's no need for growth. Right? So that's why they say at that age, like, let's say you get famous at 15, you're going to stay at 15, because there's no reason to grow that. Everyone around you saying how amazing you are. It's not like you're going to go, hmm, I should change as a person or get a degree or learn piano or learn something, because my life is actually perfect right now. Everybody's agreeing that I'm amazing. So let's not get mad at the seed.

The version of us that we thought was like the deepest, darkest, let's continuously grow. I also, again, can't stress enough. I would love to hear. I wish there was, like, some way that we can talk about your secret agent moment tonight. When you take a reflection, be it 10 minutes, be it an hour, be it all night, where you are sober and you look around and you realize that all the things that you want you can have while sober. Because I promise you, I am such proof of it. People tell me that I'm a very happy person.

And they'll say, you were having so much fun last night. And I derive that from being present and being very, very aware of my surroundings or being in the moment. So you can have all that and speak wonder. Thank you so much for all you wrote. So many nice things you've wrote. You said smart at such a young age, and that's so sweet. I don't know how we got to the plant flower seed. Don't be mad at the seed, but I do feel like that's a good one. We might have to write that down. Somebody write it down.

I know I won't, because I am gonna go run off with my 3 year old and have an amazing new year. I hope everybody has a new year. And again, don't be mad at the seed. Don't be mad at the person you were before you became the flower. It's all progress. And again, if I, I wouldn't be sober. I wouldn't be here at Cadre. I wouldn't have a radio show had I not been an alcoholic, had I not been driving drunk and making terrible mistakes. And because I wouldn't have sat down and changed and wanted to be somebody else.

So I hope everybody has a good new year. Speak, Wonder Carrie. Who else is on your Carrie? Junk food Junkie. Happy New Year. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with me. I love this community because I feel like there's accountability. But it's also just like super fun to stop my day. I was just running around. My mom's in town, so she's watching my 3 year old. I can hear them playing K Pop Demon Hunters outside of this room. And my heart is full to have all aspects and all parts, so even the really messy parts.

And again, don't be mad at the seed. That's how you became the flower. All right, I love you guys. Happy New Year. See you next year. I know. It's such a dad joke or mom joke. Bring back mom jokes. Okay, countdown.