Coffee Chats With Dr. D-Second Chances

Me. Dr. D. I am trying to get my camera together. I just got out of a session and it was really a great conversation with the client. I'm just really excited today. This has been an amazing 24 hours, and I'll tell you why in just a little bit. I'm gonna wait for a couple people to sign in joins a day. And I don't have my coffee because I just got out of session. And so I didn't get a chance to make another cup. But I am. I'm ready to talk about second chances today. And so I'm just gonna jump right into it.

And at the end, I'll wait for more people to join if you do. And I know this is a holiday week, so for those of you who are able to watch the replay, I hope you're having a wonderful week. Hopefully it is during the holiday season that you're able to watch this. Hi, Ms. Brittany. And so I want to just get into the topic today. So it's about second chances. And this topic came up for me for different reasons in the past couple of weeks. And I think I told you guys earlier this month that I'm just kind of going with the flow.

And I'm just sharing with you straight from my heart, nothing that needs to be planned because I really want it to be something that's applicable to what's going on in my life that maybe will bless you too. So let me rewind for you. And the way second chances is coming up for me is coming up in two different ways. So when I think about second chances, I think about how we should give people second chances, how we need to allow people to mess up and know that people are going to mess up and. And just allow them some space.

High speak, wonder, allow people space to redeem themselves. But we have to allow that space to happen. And I think when we don't allow second chances, I think about what does that do for the individual that didn't show up as their best. Right. It can be very debilitating. And I think sometimes, and maybe I believe I've experienced this when I was younger where I may have done something I wasn't necessarily proud of. And if I wasn't afforded a second chance, I would have stuck with that idea of who I was when I messed up.

And just to think, how would that affect me for the rest of my life? And I think about little kids, how impressionable they are when they are learning, right? It's evident, like, they're gonna mess up. We all mess up. But if we're not allowed to mess up and have a second chance to redeem ourselves, we can get stuck in that place and identify with the parts of us that messed up and just let that run with us for the rest of our lives. And so we can't do that to other people. We need to give second chances, but we need to also embrace the ability to have a second chance.

But I also think second chances show up in a different way. Sometimes second chances happen for us when something that doesn't quite feel so good happens in our lives. And we need a second chance to recreate a better memory of what happened. So I'm gonna tell you what happened to me. Okay, Y' all ready for this? So you guys know I trained Jiu Jitsu. And so earlier this year, I decided to leave the gym that I was training with for the last eight and a half years for different reasons that I won't get into.

But I left that gym, and it just really left a bad taste in my mouth, the way that I was. I would say disrespect. I'm not gonna lie. I felt a little disrespected by the gym that I was at. And so I remember the way I left. I tried to leave in a classy way, but I also left with my dignity. I left with really great memories, long memories. But some of those memories were tainted the day before I decided to leave that gym. And so just this past weekend, here's my second chance that came in. So I was invited to an all black open mat.

So open mat just means that people from all gyms in the area can come together and train together. And it's just a beautiful space. And these were all black ninjas. I'll call us where we came together to train together. And that's a very rare occasion because typically, black people in Jiu Jitsu were either the only one in the whole gym, or there might be two of us. But to have a room full of black people who trained Jiu Jitsu is very, very rare. So it was a very special occasion. And there was a meetup, and it was at a gym that I wasn't familiar with.

Come to find out, it actually wasn't at that gym. And it. The location changed at the last minute, and the location changed to my former gym. And I remember being asked, well, how do you feel about going in there? Because I haven't been there since April, since the day I left, right? And I honestly, I felt fine. I was like, I'm okay being in that Space, because I know who I am. I know why I left there. It's a matter of, are they going to be comfortable with me being in their space? Right? So I showed up, I went back to my old gym and my second chance.

I'm explaining this for you. So when I left that gym in April, I was considered what's called a blue belt. I was supposed to get promoted to my next color belt, which is purple. And so I left knowing that I should have been promoted. Didn't happen. The disrespect that comes with that and me choosing myself, I decided to leave. And so when I came back just this past weekend, I walked back into that gym, second chance, with a purple belt on, with people who look like me. And I felt safe and secure.

And I got a second chance to be in that space that I trained at for eight and a half years and to hold onto that new memory in such a positive way. And so I am just so grateful that I had that second chance. Okay, that's one way second chances have showed up for me in the past week. Now, here's another announcement for you guys. So if you remember, I've shared a few months ago that also earlier this year, my social media was hacked, right? Everything was gone. I lost all my Facebook accounts, all my Instagram accounts.

Everything that I used to stay connected to people, to market myself just stripped away from me. I don't know why it happened, but at the same time, I got a second chance. I was able to restart it. After a couple of months, I was able to start new accounts, which means I had to rebuild. So if you found me on Instagram and Facebook, thank you for subscribing or following me. And that happened just a few months before I was asked to do a TEDx talk. TEDx found me. So when I thought that everything was lost, all my connections, all the marketing I've done, all the momentum I was building for my career, because I had goals this year.

I wanted to be a speaker. I wanted to reach more people. I wanted to be globally recognized. I got a second chance even though things were stripped away from me. And so here's the announcement, y'. All. Yesterday, my TEDx went live on YouTube. Not only did it go live, I didn't even know it. My TEDx coach called me. She didn't even know because they didn't tell us when they're going to release it. But it also made the editor's pick list. It's very rare. They say less than 1% of all TED talks globally are chosen for the TED editors pick list.

And my talk was chosen. Here's another second chance, y'. All. This is behind the scenes, so nobody really knows this. When I gave my TedX talk, I messed up on stage. I messed up. I blanked out. I, like, froze, forgot where I was. And the second chance came in. It's okay that you messed up. This still is going out to the world. It's still gonna help people. And not only you just gonna be released on YouTube like all the other TEDx talks, but we're going to put you on the editor's pick list. Second chances, y'.

All. So, yes, Speak Wonder. It is amazing. And thank you, thank you, thank you. So make sure you go to YouTube today or the next 24 hours if you can take a look at it. If you just put my name in there, you'll find it. But second chances happen for us sometimes when we don't even ask for them. I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for the opportunity to go back to my old gym. I didn't ask for the opportunity to do a TedX. They found me, right. The opportunity to go back to my old gym found me right?

So when we have second chances, sometimes I want you to just be open to embracing the ability that second chances can come up in your life when you least expect it, and for the reason you don't necessarily know why. And it's okay. So maybe there's something you've done in your past that you're not proud of, where God will give you a second chance. Just wait on it. Maybe there's something that you experienced and it didn't go the way that you wanted to experience it, and it left a bad taste in your mouth.

But be expecting of a second chance. Okay, that's all I want to tell y'. All. And you guys have so many. And I can't really see the comments because the way the lighting is today, but yes, thank you. Thank you for joining me today. And so this is also something that I just want to say that I'm grateful for. You know, Thanksgiving is coming up in a few days. I'm excited to eat some good food, and I'm excited to get a day off and just rest and be with family and friends. And I hope you all have that same opportunity to be around people that love you and that you love.

And if you're in that space with some family members that maybe last year didn't go so well, this could be an opportunity for a second chance. So this week, start paying attention. Are you being afforded a second chance, and are there opportunities for you to give someone else a second chance? Okay. That's all I got. I think that is wrapping up the end of the month. And I'm not sure what the theme is for next month, but we're going to move into December. I love wrapping up the end of the year with looking back at, you know, some accomplishments, some things that we're proud of.

And so I want you guys to start thinking about that, too. So for December, we're going to celebrate, celebrate all the things that have happened, good or bad, because sometimes the messy parts are the things that we need to help us grow. So I hope you guys have a wonderful day, and I'll see you all next Tuesday. All right. Bye.