Sunday Serenity - Does Everything Really Happen For A Reason?

Good evening to everyone in the Cadre sphere here with you. Sunday night. Sunday Serenity. My name is Jason Lennox and I am your resident recovery champion, which means I'm a champion for recovery. With recovery, in recovery, just all things. Recovery is what my life is about and I've been doing it for a little while. So happy to be here. My Sunday Serenity series is just all about kind of the things and the actions that create peace in our lives, serenity and just everything that keeps us from going back to looking for those dopamine hits elsewhere.

And I believe serenity and peace are probably the biggest things that keep us from going back to the old lives that we live. So I focus a lot on that and it's good evening, Jules. Good to see you here. Speak wonder. I know. It is a nice tree. I'm so excited. I'm gonna do that for probably the next six weeks. If I'm telling the truth, this thing will probably be up until, who knows, March or April. I usually get it down, not because keeping the Christmas tree up that long, but it just doesn't bother me and doesn't become a priority.

But excited to be here. And I titled tonight's session does everything really happen for a Reason? And I want to share a couple things tonight, but primarily what was driving. This is I was at a surprise birthday party for a friend of the family yesterday about an hour south of where I live. And I rode down with my cousin. She lives in Shakopee, I live in Hopkins. We're about 15 minutes apart. So we rode down together. I drove, got us down there, and on the way back, I was pretty late. I don't know, 10 o' clock or so by the time we get back to kind of the metro area.

And I'm driving and I can see coming down it just like one of these moments where it's like just something doesn't feel right about what I'm seeing. And like it just took a second to register. What was happening was there was a vehicle coming down the exit ramp toward us. And as I started to put the pieces together, I realized this thing was on the exit ramp and it was, you know, headed to the northbound lane going south. So we end up getting up just in front of this, this car as it comes on to the highway and it continues to speed up.

And I just knew it wasn't going to be good because the car then gets behind us and there's a car in each lane behind us. And I see this car split those two. It was right in the middle. I think the car in the right lane had to swerve off to the right a little bit. But that car didn't even attempt to move. The car going the wrong way and it was speeding up at that time. I don't know, it was going 70, 80 by then, by the time it hit the highway, but it was moving. And again, it was making no attempt to move.

Like those cars didn't phase it at all. So clearly there was something going on. Either that person just was in a different state of mind or maybe had some kind of intention. I don't know, I don't want to speculate, but I looked over at my cousin and I said, that's not good, that is not going to be good. Because I could just again see that this wasn't just an accident getting onto the, to the highway because the person didn't stop. Again, they made no attempts to move over. They had all the signs that they were going the wrong way by that point.

So we're the last car literally to drive on this highway going north without facing that thing head on. I get dropped off about five miles to the north of there. And my cousin's driving home and she calls and she said there's an accident, there's a bad accident on the other side. It looks like maybe two. And I knew right away that that was the person that we saw. And so of course, like looking it up, watching the news, all the things just a little bit down the road, that car went head on with another, pushed that car into another truck.

And so there were three vehicles involved in this thing. And the car that got hit head on was a young woman. She was transported to the medical center nearby with non life threatening injuries. The truck, the two people in the truck didn't have injuries. They kind of got hit by the car that ricocheted into them. But the person driving the car passed away. And it was just really just a scary kind of series of events. And I started thinking about that and you know, something that came to mind is we often think, because here's the thing, we were driving and I was actually, when we left, about an hour before we got up there, I was ready to stop for a bathroom break.

I needed a drink. Just something I kind of get me through. I don't like driving late at night. But we didn't stop and we just kept going. And I was thinking in my mind, gosh, if we stop there and it takes 2 minutes, 3 minutes, it could have been a completely different story is my point. And you Know, it brings me back to the saying that I hear a lot and then I've never really agreed with, I shouldn't say never, but lately I've just agreed less with. And that saying is everything happens for a reason.

So there's a reason you didn't stop, there's a reason this, there's a reason that. And I think as humans we tend to look at things that happen in our lives and we try to create meaning. We look for the reasons, we look for the cause and the effect. It's just we're trying to make sense out of the way things happen in our lives. And I understand that completely and I do realize there's cause and effect. But my issue with it sometimes is something like this. I shared a little bit on social media and I think I got some of the comments that were contradicting the exact thing I was saying in the post is that I don't agree with that because frankly, for me to go, well, if I would have, you know, stopped here, stopped here and I could have changed the whole thing, but I didn't.

So that's the reason I didn't. Blah, blah, blah. Well, somebody still died and a lot of people were, I'm sure, scarred because I saw comments of people on the, on the post that it was originally put out on people who had to swerve and get off the road and they were just horrified. And then of course you got people who were injured by taking a head on crash at that kind of speed. So my point in all that is there are a lot of people still impacted and it would be very, very, potentially very damaging for me to go, well, I'm glad I didn't stop.

And that's the reason I didn't do this. So I wasn't hurt and this and that and just ignore the fact that somebody ended up dead and a lot of other people ended up either probably traumatized or hurt. So I just think for me it comes down to the awareness and how we phrase things and what we say and how that actually impacts other people. Because if you're a family member of somebody there, you're going to look at that and go, you know, like, how selfish to sit and say that my loved one is hurt, my loved one is gone, blah, blah, blah.

So that's a little bit of why I think it's everything, everything happens for a reason. I mean, there are a couple reasons. First is sometimes I also think it gives us a reason to just stop. Like, you know, that didn't work out there's a reason that I'm not going to make this work and kind of give up on the matter. Whether that's recovery, business, relationship, anything. Sometimes it becomes a justification for us to not push forward and do some of the things that we can and maybe should be doing.

So I think that's one element, and the bigger one is how are we impacting other people and how are we being aware of what we're saying and how our own lives and the things that are happening for us actually could come across to other people? And I'll give you one more example of this, and then I'll end. I was at a recovery meeting last week, and it was the first time I'd been to this meeting. So I kind of sat and I listened. And, you know, there were some new folks there. In fact, they thought I was new.

So they were, you know, talking about the three new people and just keep coming back. So they're making some assumptions that, you know, okay, I kind of get it, but, you know, it's. There were some assumptions made. Another thing that was said about the new people, again, kind of included me, is they just kept saying, you know, there was a guy who had 51 years. He had celebrated 51 years in recovery, which is amazing, by the way. But people kept saying, you know, that is so powerful. It's so great to see.

We need to hear that. It's maybe, you know, the second most important person in the room who can celebrate their anniversary, the first most being these new guys who are here. Because, you know, anytime I see the new guy, I'm reminding it, you know, just of how bad it could be. And. And I've heard that over the years. And it's another thing that, along the same lines as this, everything happens for a reason. I just don't really agree with all the time. At least not saying it. Like, the reality is, when I see somebody in tough shape, when I go to a jail, when I go to a treatment center and I see this, I'm taken back to that and I go.

I remember how hard that is. But for me to kind of spit it out sideways going, you're the most important person here, because, you know, your suffering reminds me of how bad it is. So, I mean, like, for me, I'm putting myself in the shoes of these people who might be new to recovery, going, well, I'm glad that my suffering is benefiting you today. And I just think we have to be very careful when we speak to people, when we speak about people, and we even speak about our own experiences, fortunes, misfortunes.

Because everywhere that there's a bad for every good and everything good that happens in my life, I need to be in the very mindful that other people might be struggling with something. And again, the newcomer being the most important because you remind me of how bad it is. It's just, you know, there's a way that can be perceived and I think we just have to be careful. And of course, everything happens for a reason thing where, you know, my blessing, my fortune, my luck, whatever you want to call it, might be a real damaging comment to somebody else who maybe lost someone.

So. Yeah, I appreciate that. Speak wonder. I think I was thinking a lot about this as I was getting ready, making some dinner here tonight and I realized as an empath, a highly sensitive person, just somewhere in that spectrum that I fall, it works. It's a blessing and a curse, but it's a blessing in this case because it helps me put myself in the shoes and I can understand how people feel. And I just try to be cognizant of that because, you know, the things we say can be the make or break for somebody in their day and their month, in their life, in their recovery journey.

And just being very mindful of how we show up and what we say and what kind of impact that has on people is something that I take, you know, seriously because we've got a duty to do our people well here while we're here. So I don't know, everything happened for a reason maybe, but I think we try to find the reason a lot of times and there's cause and effect certainly, but I don't have to go down that path of trying to figure that out. I can just realize that everything happens as it happens and there are some cause and effect things that happen and maybe some dots we can connect later.

But at the end of the day, the biggest thing is am I being mindful in how I'm presenting that and sharing that and not taking my own fortune again, luck, all the blessings, etc. And stacking those up against somebody else's trauma, tragedy, loss, etc. So that's what I got for you this week. Hope you're all enjoying November wherever you are. In Minnesota we had a record breaking temperature, I think on Friday and Saturday in the 70s, which was phenomenal. We're getting back to the cold stuff, so looking forward to catching up again next weekend.

And if you ever have anything you want to chat about or want me to run through here, make sure you drop it in the comments, find me, message me. Let's chat on the app, social everywhere else. So hope you all have wonderful weeks. Until next week. We'll see you then. Thanks.