Respect The harvest

Hello, Cadre. My name is Brittany Hagan. I'm a contributor. That sounds cool, right? Hi, Joshua. I want to tell you, I give you my cred, my resume. I am 15 years sober. I'm an army veteran. I am a divorcee and a single mom, and I want to talk about the word harvest. Hi. Hi, Mel. So harvest is a word I don't think that I use often. So it's really funny this. This month's theme is harvest. And I'm like, okay. I mean, when am I going to a place of using the word harvest? Almost never. But it really got me thinking, right?

Like, the whole concept of, hey, Rose, the idea that you plant stuff, you work hard, and then you get the reward, right? Like, that's how the linear idea of plant, grow, harvest works. And it works like that for some things in our life too, right? Like, there's that linear idea of I work hard. The gym. The gym. Because the gym's like my thing. I lift weights and I run, and I can see that progression, and I can see I can run faster sometimes I can track that. I can say, oh, now I can pick up this heavyweight and do this action.

Like, there's a really, like, tangible give and take with results. And even in myself, there's results. Like, if I want to measure a bunch of things, like, depending on where my obsessions lie or like, what's helped healthy for me is I go, oh, I'm noticing the scale is going to a certain point. Sometimes I want it to go up, sometimes I want it to go down. My arms or my body is reciprocating. There's a give and take with that. It doesn't always apply to mental health. And that can be so frustrating because a lot of you are like me.

You're working your a** off to do all the right things for yourself. And there's not always, like, a measurable way to see if that is working. I mean, like, yeah, there could be people in our lives that are, like, seeing progression. But, like, when we're in it, in it and we're working hard, it's not like a, hey, you did all the right things and now you get a gold medal. It's. Some days it's really hard to tell if you're even doing better. Especially when we're talking about mental health, sobriety, and, like, social growth.

That's another one I'm working on. There's no scale for, like, how was your anxiety today? Like, oh, my God, I've gone four days anxiety free. Like, how would you Even measure that. And when we can't measure progress, we can get super frustrated, right? Like, you can go, is this even working? Am I even getting anywhere? And I really want to talk about trying to find some measurable ways so we can see growth and know that, like, pat on the back, keep going, Stay strong when we're healing and working on ourselves.

Sorry, I wrote notes. I write notes all the time so it looks like I'm like talking to like a random person in the room. When we are. When we're healing and working on ourselves, progress doesn't always feel like progress. Isn't that so true? Like, again, people might be noticing, but people aren't gonna come to you and be like, hey, you were less of a this week. I mean, maybe they should. Maybe they do. To me, I could see my co host for sure doing that. You can be doing great work and you could be doing therapy meetings, coming to, you know, jumping on Cadre and journaling, staying sober and still feel stuck because you're not seeing that change.

And like, I want to start thinking of creative, measurable ways that you can see change now. These won't apply to everybody, and sometimes you just have to have faith that things are getting better. But I did try to think of create. I was on a run today and I was like, what are some creative ways? At least some people who are really driven by progress and numbers can see results. I feel like, honestly, this should definitely be like a group chat. Cause I was like, we should all be working on these.

Like, what are some creative ways in the community and within yourself that you are measuring growth so you can feel accomplished? You feel like you're going somewhere. Okay, so here's some ones I wrote down. Sleep. Sleep is super measurable, especially if you're. I know, I know these things are. They're stupid. I get it. But if you're somebody who's like, I want to see that number go up. I want to see that good sleep, there's like a million of these versions, things, these little trackable nonsense.

Or you can get the ring or the blah, probably wear like something on your face, but like, you can track or ol pen and paper. How many hours of sleep did I get last night? You wake up in the morning, you can even like start measuring. My sleep was like a two out of three and I slept for six hours. Watch that number go up. If you continue to work on yourselves and do the right things for yourself, like sleep training is such an important part of our mental health and we sometimes take for Granted that, like, we can play around with that number, but the reality of it is you'll get addicted to the idea of seeing that number and that sleep quality progress.

Hopefully, it will continue to progress. What was the other one? Oh, yeah, sobriety. Okay, this one drives people nuts, but count your days. If you're somebody who does feel like, hey, I'm working really hard on myself with my sobriety, that number, it's supposed to be a cheerleader. Be it one, two, be it 7,048. Like, it doesn't matter. That number going up should feel good, and you should feel great about it. And, like, attending meetings. Track that. Start tracking how many meetings you're going to and then, like, times in your life that were triggered.

Like, this is where that journal might come really into play. Is that, like, last night, I felt tempted and I didn't drink. And you can, like, create a calendar that you only know the code. You could have a calendar right on your wall. And you know that, like, the blue dot means that was a time I didn't drink. And you're marking that blue dot. So if it's in your zoom, who cares? They see a bunch of blue dots. I mean, I once shared with. I once shared with work, my menstruation cycle. I accidentally linked that to my outlook once.

So everybody knew. Hashtag blessed. But, yeah, like, that is super. That'll be helpful. As well as that. Tracking those days, marking times in your life where you felt triggered and didn't drink. Like, taking those victories and putting a number on it. Putting. Putting a moment on it and saying, there's four times this week that I really wanted to drink and didn't. All right, social life. Like, I'm trying to do this more. I'm such a productive, little busy bee that I sometimes don't buffer that in.

And I'm, like, realizing how isolating that can be. Even though I'm around a lot of people and doing a lot of things like this, I'm like, oh, my God, it's been, like, a month since I've just hung out with somebody. Luckily, I have JC here on the app, and he'll come and have coffee with me anytime. Which Love. Let's have. Like, these are really funny goals I was thinking of. Like, initiate a conversation with somebody that you see all the time. Like, this is a good one for if you're at the gym, if you're at work.

Start, like, creating a little bit of socialness in your patterns you already have, and mark it as a win. Today I started A conversation like that is measurable. How many times did you do that this week? That's something worth measuring. And the social event, like, I. Today I. Today I set like, once a month. I want to meet up with my friend Michelle. She fills my heart, she fills my bucket when it comes to socialness. And I want to start doing that once a month. I don't do that right now. So if I was marking once a month, I hung out with my bestie, Michelle, you know, what a game changer that would be, like, long term.

And also feel really good to mark that off the old. Like, I did that. That's measurable as well. And like, you can get back to basics sometimes. It's as simple as marking, Creating like an everyday little checklist. And you mark off meds. Took my meds in the morning. That feels good. You have 12 days in a row where you took your meds on time. Couldn't be me. Like, I wish I had that marked up. Like, you know, how much better, how good it would feel? God, I gotta do this. I'm like, excited. Should we.

I want to start. I feel like we got to start like an accountability group with things like this. Because I'm like, that'd be. Feel so good if I look back at the week and said I take my meds every day at the right time. Who am I? Lois Lane? Does she have a superpower? She doesn't. Right? She's just a journalist. Well, that's cool too. Ate breakfast. Like, that's a good one. Ate a healthy breakfast or just ate breakfast? Like, today? Every day this week, I ate breakfast, I showered. These days, it depends on what you're struggling with.

This might be a super great way to be. Like, look at the progression. I'm doing this every day and look at how that's changing my life. I can't stress enough. Our brains love data. Even somebody like me, I'm so ADHD and I'm so over the place, but I love seeing those numbers. I love seeing these stupid numbers. I love them. They're so addicting. They feel so good. And you will see your life changing. In AA we have something called the promises. The promises are like, when you first go to aa, you're like, what magical bullshit is this?

The promises are like, everything in your life will come to fruition. Not the way it is supposed to. It is like the craziest thing. It's literally saying a magical wand is going to come in and grant you everything you've ever wanted and things you didn't even know you wanted it. And that's in aaa. And the idea of it is. And, like, I can't stress enough. I thought that was. But, like, I've been sober for 15 years and I. The promises all happen because I did the things I was supposed to do and had my head down.

But it's almost like you have to write this down and see that, because sometimes you don't take that. You know? Like, I used to think it was silly when people graduated high school or college and they had a party. I'm like, you're already doing well. Like, what are we doing? It's because you're putting a bookmark in your life and you're saying, I'm celebrating. I'm noting this. I'm. I'm like, giving myself future fuel to see. Like, I work hard, put my head down, and things happen for me. And that's why we're celebrating those moments.

And you can do that for yourself as well. It's the idea that you just need to, like, note them because they're happening. They're happening right now because you're on this app and you're doing the right thing for yourself and you're creating a community and things are happening for you, but you might not be see it because you're too close to it and you're going, I don't know. And this is where that tracking is going to make you feel so freaking good. They're happening, I promise. And as long as you keep doing the things that are good for you and working on the goals that are amazing for you, the things are going to line up.

Now, here's a secret about the promises as well. They're not always what you think they are. Sometimes they're bigger and better, and sometimes they're just plain different. I thought I knew what I wanted. And the reality of it, the universe said you actually want something much bigger, much better, much more beautiful. And, like, someday I'll go into it if you ever want to talk about it. I just feel so strongly about when you're in it, you don't see the progress. It can be super frustrating. You don't know you're harvesting.

You don't know people are enjoying you. Because, like, especially here in the Midwest, nobody's going to lean in and say, you've actually been a lot better this week. I mean, like, with that, there's a conversation of, like, what was I last week? It's like how nobody wants to mention if anyone's body changes, right? Like, God forbid. And I get it. Like, I don't want to mention it, but, like, this person's working their a** off trying to get their body to where they want and nobody's saying anything.

And you're like, you gotta, you gotta put your head down and figure out what your measurable things are to get to a place where you go look around and all of a sudden you're at the top of the mountain. It's so cool, right? You're gonna see dips, you're gonna have rough weeks, missed workout skips, meetings, maybe a relapse, but that doesn't mean that that number doesn't keep going up. So maybe that sobriety date went from 50 to zero. All right, here we go again. I mean, you can do even a little caveat.

50, *, *, *, *. And then like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Or if like you and your sponsor and you and your journey feel great, you know, you can add that. Like it's your progress. And that's what's important, is you feel progression and feel good and feel like I'm working towards something. It's beautiful and I want to see that change. It means so much in the moment because you're getting there. You just probably can't see it. You're too close to that God d*** trees to see the woods. Maybe it's the other way.

I never, I never get sayings right. It's kind of my thing. When you can't feel progress, measure it. Remember that. Start measuring things and feeling good about yourself that you're taking the right steps, whether it's a sober day, a therapy session, or a moment of saying no when you wanted to say yes. Count it. Bank it. Buckets. You're building evidence to prove that you are getting stronger, smarter, better, faster. I know I'm singing a Kanye song. Sorry, I don't remember if he is the worst right now.

It feels good to see progression towards where you're going. Other people see it, but now you can too. Start measuring things. Measure it. Because guess what? Tis the harvest. And we're going to start harvesting little things first and we're going to feel really good about it. Someday we're going to look back and go like, oh my God, we're eating wheat. I don't know. What do people harvest? Is that it? I don't know. Either way, I hope you have a day. And I'm off to go measure my progress. Also, Cadre is one of mine.

I'm like, did a Cadre had fun doing it. And I write everything down, so love you guys. We'll see you later. We'll see you next week.