Life, Loss + Layoffs

Hey, Cadre. I hope you're having a great Monday morning. Good to see you all. My name is Rosie Nest, and I'm having a really good chill Monday. I have this thing lately, as probably been the last, honestly, the last month, where I just have not gotten the best rest, which is so frustrating when you're, like, really tired and you really want to sleep and you can't fall asleep. And so I've been trying different nighttime routines, and I have some ideas of some things I'm going to be doing, even just, like, during the day to really support my rest at night.

It's just a new thing for me. So. Hi, good morning. Speak, wonder. So, anyway, with all that, my energy that I'm coming to you with is a little bit low. I'm being honest. I'm a little tired. Got my coffee just making me happy. But, yeah, energy's a little low today. How was everyone's energy today? I did do something, though, that was supportive of hopefully my rest this evening, which was I first thing I did, like, I woke up, I got right up with my alarm and I went outside and I just walked around my yard and watered some plants.

I just, like, felt the sunlight on my face for a few minutes, kind of like really near to me, even, like, waking up. And I know that whenever I do that, I feel better in my day and hopefully sleep better at night. So we'll report back. But, yeah, you know, Cadre, I've been thinking about and writing about. I have a substack where I do weekly newsletters and have been working on and writing about this theory of either chaos or calm. And I've kind of dubbed it as, like, am I being a chaos creator or am I being a calm creator?

And it's been a good gut check for myself, honestly, because I'm a person who fixates and over analyzes and gets stuck on things that maybe aren't important to get stuck on, aren't worth the energy that they're taking. And I'll fixate and I will overanalyze and I'll give a decision. All right, friends got cut off, but I'm just gonna jump right back in because hopefully it just picks me back up. My husband's really good at calling me in to say, this isn't that big of a decision. Make a decision. It's gonna be fine.

It's not the end of the world. If we get a couch we don't like, we can change it. You could return it if you buy a plant stand that you thought you loved when you saw it online, and then you hate it when it comes in person. You can either live with it because maybe it's fine, or you could exchange it. Like, I just really fix it on, like, am I getting the exact best one? And I think that maybe has to do with, like, when I was a kid growing up, my parents got everything secondhand. And to this day, I am, I would say, a queen of secondhand shopping.

Like, I really enjoy the thrill of the hunt. Everything. Actually, now that I say that, like, down to my shoes, everything I've gotten is secondhand. I really love secondhand shopping for clothing, for furniture, for artwork. My daughter's clothing, her all. Her entire wardrobe is completely thrifted. And I get a lot of energy from that. So when I buy something new, I kind of become a Chaos creator. I kind of. I'm like, I have to find the exact right special one at the best deal. Otherwise I like, why am I spending?

Like, why am I paying full price for it? Okay, I have a side story about that I'm gonna tell you. I keep coming back to this planter stand because it's something that I've kind of been a Chaos Creator about. My husband and I have a few spots in our house where we want to have plants. I mean, it stands because right now the plants are just kind of sad on, like, cardboard boxes and being propped up by, like, stools that they don't fit anyway. And so I was searching, searching, searching, being a Chaos creator.

A month later, I found the exact right ones. They're at ikea. In the meantime, I'm a part of our Buy Nothing group. And literally over the weekend, someone posted the two planter stands, brand new. Hadn't used them. They didn't fit in their space. Put them together. They didn't fit in their space for free. And I got them. So I got the planter stands that I was going to buy full price at IKEA for free from our Buy Nothing group. So the Chaos creator in me was so validated by the fact maybe that I, like, kind of created some chaos.

But then the end result was kind of this, like, ironic situation where I got these items for free. And my thrifting self was also really excited about it. But anyway, back to Chaos Creator. So something that I've been doing, a practice I've been doing, is really assessing for myself. Am I in this situation being a Chaos creator or a calm creator? Because there's a lot of things you cannot control, but with the things that you can, I think you have the agency to ask yourself, am I creating more chaos or more calm for myself?

Now, if you're around people that like chaos, that are some people that really love chaos, truly, like, beyond, just like, I can't decide which planter stand to get. It's like some people are chaotic and they choose, I think, to be to cause more chaos for themselves. Meaning maybe if you're a person that thrives on drama, you're kind of thriving on chaos. If you're a person that waits to the last minute, I do that sometimes. I'm a procrastinator. Wait till the last minute to do something. And instead of like slowly planning and having a really calm approach to finish a project, you've left it all at the end and then it's chaos, chaos creator.

But then the flip of that is a calm creator. And so what that can look like is, for me, I've been assessing, like, is this opportunity to go to this event gonna cause more chaos in my day or more calm in my day? You get to choose. If you know it's gonna cause chaos and you still choose it, then you kind of have to acknowledge or like, sit with yourself and acknowledge. Like, I'm kind of choosing this chaos. I think it's okay because it's an event that I really want to attend, but, like, my night is gonna be chaotic because of it.

So that's a chaos creator moment I'm willing to get behind, I guess. Or here's another example. I was recently asked to join a board of directors. And I really just had to think and sit on it and think about if it was something that I really wanted to do, something I was really getting energized by, was excited about, or if I was saying yes to it because I felt like I should. So I use this method. Am I creating more chaos or calm for myself by joining this board? The answer is chaos. Chaos. Because it was something that my heart wasn't in.

It starts there. My gut was kind of telling me no. Number three was a big time commitment. Number four was a big energy commitment, meaning outside of my time. There's a lot of reading, there's a lot of research, There's a lot of just energy on my end and work to be do. And if you're doing those things and you're not excited about it, you're creating chaos for yourself. Because if you say yes, if I were to say yes, when the moment comes where it's like, read these decks, prepare these slides, come to this meeting.

Having read, having prepared Having done all these things, you're going to feel like, I wish I would have taken the calm option. So I. I continue to explore this. I don't. I don't know really how it changed my mind, but I was just thinking of, you know, in this, like, content creator economy, was thinking, oh, but I think that there are people that I know that create more calm, that I'm inspired by, that I want to be more like. And then I know that there are people that also create chaos. So that's kind of how I pen those terms.

But I guess I would just encourage you in your week as you think about things that I always try to remind you to do, which is rest when you need it and rest before you need it. Think about moments in your week, in your day, where you can ask yourself the question, am I being a calm creator, or am I being a chaos creator? And if you're being a chaos creator, you get to choose a different path. If you're being a calm creator, lean into it. How can you be more of a calm creator? How can you remove some of the chaos?

It's really kind of a yin and yang approach, but it's, for me, been incredibly helpful. It's called myself in to, like, have a real honest conversation with myself. Like, Rosie, you're being a chaos creator right now. Change your approach. The road is gonna get bumpy if you don't. And also, like, you know, patting myself on the back when I have these calm creator moments and I'm being intentional. I'm choosing rest, I'm choosing calm, and that feels really good too. So take that if it's helpful.

Cadre. I love these mornings with you all. I really value our time together. I hope that you do too. I would love to hear from you on topics around life, loss, layoffs that you'd like to dive into a little bit more. I'm excited for October and coming to you with some insights there. I think we're gonna be back in the kitchen come October. It's my favorite season to cook soups and stews and broth and warm things. So I think I'm gonna have some Monday morning meal preps coming up, so I'd love for you to join me.

Until then, have a wonderful week and I'll see you back here next week. Be a calm creator. Bye.