Your Resilience Coaching Studio

Congratulations. You're here. You've made it this far and you're amazing. You 've got so many skills. You've got so many strengths. You're very resilient. You've got your own unique resilience that has grown through the years and it's gotten you this far . Have you ever taken time to pause, taken a deep breath and pat yourself on the back to say yes as you may have heard me say before sometimes let that voice come up from within you and say when we realize just how strong you are because you are strong.

You're a star and even take time to think about all the things that you've gone through the things that you've learned. I will speak under. Oh Kathy, I'm glad you're here. For whether or not you're joining live or you'll see the recording of this perhaps you're showing up at a time when you're feeling great . Like perhaps as you saw we're going to do something a little bit differently. I've got several quotes for us to look at, peel apart maybe, perhaps agree with some of it and disagree with others but find that this time of thinking through some of these quotes, feeling through where we're at, that there can be some real goodness, some new energy that comes from it, energy we could use for the hours ahead and the days ahead and strengthen your own unique resilience and my own unique resilience.

Perhaps you're here or perhaps you're watching and you're feeling great, perhaps you're feeling rattled. In one way we can show up in so many different ways and still take time to acknowledge all right I've gotten this far, I've learned from the past, I can take what I have and move forward with everything from uncertainty, maybe feeling unsafe but also in the balance there is this confidence I've gotten through things before, I can get through things in the future and resolve is the key word for this evening and really so good you're here hello and let me just see who else is here hi everyone it's so good to see your friends I've been looking forward to being with you and I love quotes as you know like many of us do I love words and can nerd out on words sometimes and I think we're going to nerd out on some quotes as we take a look at the definition of resolve to decide firmly on a course of action you'll soon be glanced over here because I've spent I've worked the past 16 hours live without any sleep getting ready for our time together and but I'll look over to my notes to share with you some of these quotes and think through how can we strengthen our resilience to maybe even take a deep breath right now and pause join me in taking a deep breath and just settle into where we're at and think through about the choices how do we resolve to make a choice what choices do we make especially if we're going through some kind of transition and not feeling completely solid on the path um Brie I was enjoying your recent talk and for those of you who are on now watch her recent live the same with Kathy's speed pointer as well as Jen's who's just a little while before she was very you know being very bold and honest very genuine about the transition issues in and we go through phases don't we well sometimes it's one phase to another and part of what I believe when what I found when something's changed when there's some kind of transition the first thing to do is to slow down and observe the observant to do mainly one thing and that is to seek wisdom the more we can slow down the more we're going to lower the blood pressure we're going to lower the cortisol level and and to be intentional about seeking wisdom because it's with that wisdom we can make the best choices for ourselves and for the others in our lives are you going through any kind of transition right now one word or a phrase that might describe what comes to mind is there something perhaps it's something that's taking a while perhaps you've just entered into a new era or phase or maybe it's something that's just for this week or for this uh these hours ahead of us what is it that you are here thinking about as we think about applying some resolve deciding with a sense of definitiveness making choices about the actions that we're going to take moving forward when I slow down I feel less angry yes and that's so key that that anger and I'm familiar with that especially through surgeries four five and six on my left knee it spanned a few years and there was a tremendous amount of anger you know in the mix with everything that I was experiencing to have a surgery be asked to wait a year see it can sometimes take a year for this to work and to then see it doesn't work there are a range of human emotions and it's only natural anger is a natural human emotion it's what we do for it and with it that matters the first quote I want to or let's let's first do this let's tune in the three steps of resilience tune in plan and be our best what transition are you in how do you feel what's what are the one perhaps primary emotion that you're feeling and let me ask you this are you aware of the benefits of what we're doing right now being intentional taking some time to be purpose ful about slowing down taking that deep breath acknowledging validating that anger and finding a way to at least for the moment release it and the reason why I asked you are you aware of the benefits is that and I'll just use of maybe some of you have seen the statistics that we have on what are the benefits of strengthening doing things that pursues strengthening our resilience it does lower our stress and gives us more confidence to move forward in each next phase and whatever we 're going through in general it's like 56% more or less stress it's 44% greater confidence so there are true benefits to actually taking time as we do in this studio your resilience coaching studio to practice and work on our resilience so the first quote I wanted to share with you is this resolve and thou art free long fellow resolve and thou art free don't we seek to be free from anything that seems to be worrying us stressing us questions that were not sure if we've got the answers for we're not sure where we're going to find the answers but when we resolve when we make definitive choices about taking action there's half of an equation that can make all the difference in the world because we've made a decision I'm going to take action in this way and just being that taking that time to look at options and making choices is something that does set us free feeling discouraged a little frustrated and those two go hand- in-hand breed don't they we know that well the one there's discouragement there's frustration at the root of all frustration are unmet expectations perhaps and only if you want like to share by all means but consider are there certain expectations that are contributing to that discouragement I expected something to go like this I expected someone to say yes to this request or I was expecting someone to engage me in a way with more I've expected more respect I expected more kindness I expected love I expected something whatever it might be at the if we're discouraged things that means things aren't going the way we expected them or one of them to in some shape or form and at the root of all frustration if we think about it our unmet expectations and and so my my heart goes out to you I'm a holder of hope for you you know that too Kathy and for anyone watching and if we hold hope for each other then perhaps there's some freedom in that too if for example you're in a place where I'm frustrated I'm discouraged and I don't have there's perhaps there's a void of hope in there let it I invite you to consider all right let someone else hold that hope for you and be free in that moment so that I that quote resolve and thou art free if we have made a choice then there's an answer to at least one question what am I going to do next or how am I going to do this or do that there's a freedom in that that makes it possible to then move forward and take action any particular thoughts on on that resolve and thou art free thank you won't go I like how short that is the next quote is this by Horace a good resolve will make any port Kathy I thought you might like that a good resolve a good set of choices a good determination a good setting your sales perhaps coming about letting the sales fill in a different way in a different direction that will get us to the port a good resolve will make any port so when we take time to make decisions and look at options in effect by virtue of this part of the conversation we're in the second step of the three steps of resilience we tuned in to thinking about art what transition are you in what are the feelings that are coming along with that and now in effect by virtue of entertaining these questions we are and on these quotes we're thinking about options we are planning we're trying on different ideas for size yeah I like that I've had hadn't seen that one before if if you may encourage each other we are all here with different frustrations we're in different times of transition and there can be a lack of safety and feeling safe on one hand be you can be safe or you can be not safe but then there is that emotion of how safe do I feel I'm not feeling very safe I'm feeling very safe or somewhere in between it can be an emotional seesaw and roller coaster ride thinking about it I when I started I deliberately said I wanted to applaud you for being here for being where you are having accomplished everything that you've accomplished taking time to look back and say I've gone through this I've gone through that and I've made it through I've learned a lot along the way and reflecting on that well personally I feel especially since because wow it's going to be October it's going to be six years this month since the seventh surgery and since my knee has been a state of trauma and I deal with daily pain it's been many years since I haven't experienced agony multiple times a day and on one hand I don't feel safe every day I wake up or every night I wake up I never know when the next last pain is coming and yet I am my mental strength and my emotional maturity has never been greater these past couple of months have been especially exhausting and overwhelming more with more pain and just a lot of a lot of stuff going on and on one hand I feel it more but there is this recognition and I believe it's important for us to recognize my my mental strength is stronger than ever and my emotional I'll say my emotional intelligence and my emotional strength is greater than ever I believe even though I can say that I can be honest about how challenging these past weeks have been and this week I'm seeing by focusing on it acknowledging that I'm seeing myself coming about it and reg aining some new strength of it I worked out each of the last three nights in a row it'll be interesting to see if I do that when we're finished here this evening but I've found it on one hand both validating to acknowledge all of that but reinforcing if you're feeling and when you're feeling frustrated and let me just use the words that you had this the discouragement the how do I want to put this and let me just see I see your new feudal the winds to a heart and port oh that's wonderful by Emily Dickinson thank you Kathy feudal the winds to a heart and port when we're in port we are in the safe place when and the winds won't get the better of us the winds will whip up the water the winds will snap limbs off of trees but we are safe in the port so to a great extent it's that that idea of what do we need to do to at least in the mix spend time in the safe harbor in the port and and and there will be times when we need to leave leave that safety and take steps and take action to advance whatever we need to advance to try to solve what we need to solve to heal what we need to solve and I believe it's important to recognize how recognize that we might feel discouraged we might feel frustrated we might feel exhausted but that doesn't mean weakness that's you have strengths the strengths are still there it's just that there's the tiredness have I shared with you the the thought that our resilience is made perfect in our exhaustion and there's something to be said for allowing us to realize that to remind ourselves that we are resilient and maybe when we're feeling exhausted or even in the pit it's worth remembering all right I've been there before I know I'll come back out my resilience is going to kick in at some point the key is to do those things that feed our resilience to give put new energy into it new life into it and sometimes it might be a conversation like this sometimes it might be reading a book talking to a friend it might mean working out mixing things up in different ways embracing something new to do and in fact that's what going back to this word resolve deciding with a firmness decide firmly on a course of action and then the thing to do is to take the action when will when the will is ready the feet are light as a proverb when the will is ready the feet are light in other words when we make that decision it's a whole lot easier than to take action and run with it so being resolved looking at your options making a choice being deliberate being purposeful and this is all in the mix because it's a journey to process there's no light switch that we can turn on and change things right away that if ever that can be done it's rare the thing to do is to understand that or on journeys there will be twists and turns of all kinds along the way and choices to make this this one by Thomas Edison our greatest weakness lies in giving up the most certain way to succeed is always to try this one more time and in effect so much of what we do here is encourage each other to keep on trying trying something new Kathy you do that breathe you you do that you raise questions and you look on help us all look honestly at living gen you do that as well so thank you all thank you all for all you do for all of us and for for cottery our greatest weakness lies in giving up the most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time that's a way of looking at resolve last quote by Bob Gough great author positive guy live a life of conspicuous grace and courageous resolve live a life of conspicuous grace let it show let it be revealed and courageous resolve courage in the mix is so key actually if you wouldn't mind just letting me know if I'm still with you I know sometimes our connections can skip out and we come back sometimes or sometimes but am I still on Kathy if you wouldn't mind giving me a quick signal that that the connection is still here so in effect if we've taken a look at these different quotes and thought about different ways of looking at whatever kind of transition that we're going through and embracing not so much embracing change but embracing the ways we navigate change thank you very much thank you break so so many times and I used to take issue with this the people who've all heard it embrace change embrace change but embracing change doesn't it got to a point where I'd say that's not good enough for me because if we embrace change on one hand all right what does that really mean what does that look like but I 'd rather think in terms of embracing those things that we can do to navigate the change or the transitions that we're experiencing because there are our ways to do that and we we all share with our conversations different perspectives what here's what's worked for me here's what's worked for somebody else we see in these quotes wisdom and also challenges to us and invitations to us to look at resolve so that we can be free long fellow experience that freedom and therefore wrote about it and in effect likewise when we experience by taking action making choices and taking action we become the drivers of change change happens often by virtue of circumstances not in our control and and it's in that lack of control that it can be a lot of pain and a lot of worry and what's that quote I don't know who said it but what worries us masters us it's too easy it's so easy to let worry create whip up into that looping storm of thought emotions and more pain and that can be a traffic and be hard to get out of that sometimes it can take more than minutes sometimes it can take hours depending upon the intensity of whatever is challenging disappointing and frustrating but when we're if we are take some resolve or apply resolve a bold choice of take action to to let that worry go to resolve and thou art be free from the worry when we're taking action we're focusing on something positive we become the drivers of change whether it's the way that we're crafting our story of what we're experiencing or taking specific concrete steps to make something happen and bring us take us down a road or make a turn in the road that serves us well and maybe even serves others well curious to know your thoughts have any questions I'll read this last one again by Bob Gough it's so good live a life of conspicuous grace and courageous resolve so perhaps I'll come close to concluding with a few thoughts including how what a unique combination grace letting it show that that means being bold about it being generous about it elevating love in the mix love of yourself and for others and that courageous resolve being bold in the way that we look at our options and then now take that third step within the three steps originally as we tuned in we've done some planning thinking about options thinking about being encouraged and challenged by these quotes and what we're sharing with each other and now the third step being your best make a choice and then take some action what might you choose to do right now and it's something that you'll follow through on maybe it's in the minutes ahead through the evening or maybe it's tomorrow is it a way to change the the tenor of your being this evening so that you can get a good night's sleep maybe it's a phone call that you'll make maybe as some steps to do something for your your professional life or your personal life that has to do with boundaries that helps you feel safe or safer maybe it's um what what might it be what might it be what might be the one thing and thinking through sometimes I believe and I have you ever found here's the problem and actually looking at it means we need to do the exact opposite I need to do the exact opposite this is an working let's say so the solution might very well be I need to do something that's opposite of that and sometimes freeing ourselves even thinking in those terms can be a gift I choose to reach out to my long-distance daughter before the day is over good just to touch base and express love so yes be your best week you you're the best because you take action and because you love when we love we are at our best and sometimes the the greater the challenge whether it's the discouragement the frustration whatever it might be the more love we put into it for ourselves and for others that's one way and perhaps can't get any better than that to be our best I hope this has served you in some way I hope this has encouraged you if you've got any thoughts or any questions if you want to peel back the layers on any of these quotes just let me know or might there be simply oh has this been a break where you've been basically not so much anything that I've said but I heard you of you being here and thinking that these things through you're feeding yourself and that's worthwhile you're worth it and it's good to recognize that's your unique resilience at work if you have any other questions thank you so much Brie thank you very much and both Brie and Kathy I hope you have wonderful evenings I'm going to pause just to see if you share any more thoughts or any other questions before I sign off and I mean just see this I feel more relaxed thank you very much appreciate that and I'm glad happy for you I'm happy for you being relaxed is so key is so important in the mix because there's so much stress that comes from especially any kind of angst isn't it like then we get tense and was it you that was asking were you holding the tension and I think it was if not I'll give you credit for it I mentioned how I hold it in my throat and my shoulders definitely in my back as well and it's good to relax all of that and we're we deserve it you deserve it you deserve the best so yes thank you Kathy steep in them like a good teabag before I read teabag I was thinking up when I saw the words deep let's soak in the goodness of our resilience st oking the goodness of your love and pat yourself on the back you're resilient you're I'm like are strong but you've got strengths and you're using them and you're using them to help others which is absolutely wonderful perhaps the best of all so thank you so much I'm going to sign off now I hope you have a wonderful nights let that state of relaxness in fact I feel that feel it it says if it's contagious it's helping me relax both of you are the best and holders of hope for you and I look forward to seeing you again next Tuesday take good care and good night out