Cadre Today: My Pants

Good morning Cadre. How are we doing today? It is sunny where I am sitting, as you can tell from the light on my face. See how shiny my big forehead is? How are you doing? I hope you are doing great, Jules. I hope you're doing great. But if you're not doing great, here's that daily reminder that that is a. Ok 2 Mel. Mel. Even if you're not doing great, you still have great capacity to do something today. To do things you want to do, to do things that you have to do, to do things that you never thought you would do.

Good morning Emily. And not only do I want to remind you that if you're not okay, you're still incredibly capable of doing some pretty rad stuff. I also want to remind you that whenever we move into this space, when we enter the Cadre sphere, that there's gonna be someone who's glad that they're here and they're gonna be glad that you're here and they're gonna share things that they know Andi Mack and they're actually going to be doing that sharing because they care about you. Those are your two daily reminders that you'll get from me every day, no matter what.

And even if you don't hear it from me, know that this space is always here waiting for you. Jules, I am so glad it's the end of your week and that means you throw some sunny smiley suns at us. So on Thursdays you see people often share about the idea, the reality, the obligation, the profession of being a caregiver of other people or other beings or other or ideas or work, so on, so forth. And today I want to tell you about my pants. So I am the youngest of seven adopted in there, three halvesies in there and and then one full Z in there.

But I am the one out of the seven. Plus my parents who've never been divorced. I always joked because I hadn't been married till I guess over five years ago now, but seems like recently I always joked it's like haha, I'm the one who's figured out how to not get divorced in this family because I didn't get married, but now I'm still married and haven't been divorced. But because there's so many divorces in my family, there's a lot of people who I have been family with by the way that we decide who is family with marriage and in laws and halves and steps and exes and so on and so forth that fit into those boxes of, of former or used to be's.

And one of my former sister in laws, her father passed away this past week. So I have nieces and nephews, my brother's kids who are coming into town for their grandfather's, my former sister in law's dad's funeral. And I got a message from my former sister in law and I keep saying former not because I don't still see her as family, but, but because that is, that is reality. Right? But I'm not a person who does a lot of nuclear family stay in touch. My family is often people who I feel connected to.

I love my nuclear family, but I don't innately go, okay, you're my nuclear family, I'm going to spend a lot of time with you because I'm supposed to, I'm not very good at doing things I'm supposed to do. So my former sister in law is someone that I don't stay in touch with a lot. And she messaged me earlier this week and getting reminiscent and keeps messaging me this week and I reflect and I reply and then she messaged me yesterday. It's like, hey, can your nephew, my nephew, her son, borrow some pants and some shoes and yada yada yada because it's a military funeral and he doesn't own those things and he's traveling and I'm like, okay, da da da da.

When can I, when can I get things over for the funeral? Today? I don't have dress pants, I don't have dress shoes. But I figured all those things out. And late last night I drove them over to my parents house where my nieces and nephew will be staying in order to have some place to stay for the funeral today and then they'll head back home tomorrow. Long story. C. long story. Tighten it up. How often do we have the opportunity to be a part of people's stories and moments of need and people who we may not be incredibly close with or maybe there's been some burned bridges or tired times.

I know a lot of hearts go, gosh, I need to be everything for everybody. And if I can't or I don't want to, then how do I, how do I cut it off? How do I say no all the time? My reminder today is that everything is on a spectrum, right? My former sister in law needed someone to go ahead and act like her brother in law again and sending me messages and memories and lots of emojis, so many emojis. And I was able to be in that moment with what I had to give and nothing more because I didn't have more than what I had to give and it was enough.

And now my pants and my shoes, which, well, now they're pants and my shoes because I went out and bought them, are going to be put to some use because someone who I used to maybe be more within the space of caring over and about, and now that's less I was able to be there. Don't give yourself a hard time if you can't figure out how to say, gosh, I don't want to be in the same relationship with this person anymore. But also there may be the day where they go, hey, I know we don't talk anymore, but in those moments, you can give what you want to give without breaking the idea of you having a hard line of changing of a relationship.

So what are your pants doing today? We'll see you tomorrow.