Savoring Love In Your Life And Relationships

I hope this is going through. It said that it should be so. Hello. Hey. Hey, Cadre. How's everyone doing today? Hope, you're doing fantastic here. I just got outside for the second time today. I had a great walk with one of my best friends. She brought her dog, I brought my dog, and we had a hoot getting together going through the forest here. And so that was just beautiful. Love, love having those connections and beautiful walks out in nature on, on a gorgeous day. It's not funny, but it's, it's.

It's still lovely here. Hey, Nikki. Hey. Speak Wonder. Yeah, I was just saying hi. Hey, Mar. Got all the friends coming in today. Yeah. So it was just great. I hadn't seen my. My bestie in a while, so it was just great to walk. Hi, Kim. Forest bathing? Yes. Speak Wonder. That is exactly what we were doing. And she is one of those friends that I can do that with. You know how sometimes some people are just like, what? She definitely is one of those. So it was great to catch up with her this morning.

And I definitely practiced savoring my time with such a good friend. And it was great because it was very fitting for the talk today. It's like, wow, I didn't even plan that at all. It just happened to me going on a walk with one of my favorite people and savoring the moment with me, her, and both of our. Our puppies. So it was a great way to start the morning. And I hope that everyone is able to get together with somebody that they love today or this weekend or. Or sometime this week. Show enough, okay?

I love that name. And if that's what you're going for, you absolutely need it. Show enough, Okay. I forget what that's from, but it's great. I love it. Love the friends you can forest bath with. Yes, Nikki, it's. Forest bathing in itself is an act of savoring. Right? It's. You have to be present to. To feel and just notice all the green. I read somewhere that the, the color green. Humans can see the most shades of green out of any other color due to our evolutionary patterns of always having to like, scrap for survival and safety.

And I thought that was wonderful and very fitting. My favorite color is green. So it. That was a fun little fact for me to learn the other day. The occasional primal scream when necessary. Yes. That's amazing. Yeah. I saw in Chicago they have a get together where they go scream out on Lake Michigan and people can just get all their, all their stuff out and just scream. There's A fun video about it. I think that there should be more community events like that since it seems very needed. I took. Amar says that I took three mile walk and met a neighbor, which feels good.

Going outside. Yes, nice. And three miles, that's. That's a long one. So I bet that felt really good. And probably a little humid after three miles too, so I'm sure it was. I'm sure it was fantastic. Um, and let's, let's kind of. Let's shift gears here. We're getting to the end of the month already. Holy cow. It's the 22nd. Just. I just feel like it. It goes by so fast. And with that, it's even more of a reminder of, okay, pause and notice this moment going. Notice the season just flying by. You know, if.

If we don't stop and savor every once in a while, we're going to miss it. It's just shifting and changing so fast. And yes, I highly recommend checking out the Scream community. It's somewhere in Chicago, that's all. I know Google can probably help you out, but I was reflecting on that in journaling the other day about how this time is going so fast and with my. My mom, she has a lot going on in her life right now and one of her friends just passed away and. And she was just such a sweet woman. I knew her and I just a total, total light to this planet.

And it reminds me how short of a time we really do have. And when we're young and healthy, we think we are invincible and we have all this time. Time. But at some point in our lives, nobody in your neighborhood knew that it would be the last day you all would be riding your bikes in your neighborhood. Nobody knew that it would be the last time that you're hanging out at your friend's trampoline or outdoor park. And that would be like the last time that you would see them. And it same with my mom.

She didn't know that the last time she saw her friend would literally be the last time she saw her. And it could go for any relationship, friendship, our parents. I mean, I know it's. It's tough seeing. Seeing them get older and seeing them struggle with things and mobility and mind things. It's tough. And so really being present with our people is crucial to finding this fulfillment in ourselves and in the community or the people that we're interacting with. And so I'm curious how you guys go about having or remembering a fun or lively, vibrant experience or memory that you have with somebody you love.

Like, how do you keep that alive? And how do you get or seek more of them? Right? Like, so sometimes we're just on autopilot and we're like, okay, I'm gonna go see my mom. We'll have dinner and then we'll leave. Like, that's me thinking that I can just see her again next time, any day that I want. And that's, you know, probably not the mindset that I really should be having. I. I really am trying to point a mirror at myself with. With this recent. You know, nothing teaches you more. Well, a lot of things can teach you, but death teaches you a lot of things, right?

When somebody close to you passes. And so not to make this morbid, but I do just want to mention that we have to express gratitude while we can. Like, I can't remember the last time that I told my partner that, thank you so much for listening to. To me when I needed it, or thank you so much for, like, giving me an extra long hug when you knew I needed it. I can't remember the last time I told my mom, thank you so much for being. I mean, I hug her all the time and tell her I love her, but there's so many people that don't get that opportunity, and I know I could do it better, and so I am.

This is my declaration in front of all of you that I want to commit to the important people in my life. And with that means fully showing up not only as myself, but with them in an authentic, mutual connection that is reciprocal. And I know that the people in my life are very reciprocal. It's a give and take relationship. But sometimes I send photos of memories with a card in the mail to capture something we did together back in the day. Yes. That's beautiful. I love that speak. Wonderful. And mail is never going out of style.

I don't care who disagrees with me, but, like, who doesn't love getting a handwritten card in the mail? It is so special. And that reminds me, I used to send postcards to my grandma everywhere that I would travel because she couldn't travel as she got older. But I would always send postcards. And she just, like she said it was a highlight every day. And so I'd be miss doing that. But Amar says I usually speak to my parents and I usually speak to my mom, but I would stress her out with questions.

Yeah, it's. That's a great point, Amar. It's easy to utilize the relationships that are closest to us, kind of taking them for granted a little Bit or utilize them because we're so used to having them be there for us and not really second guessing what we're giving or taking just because it's a given. Right. And I'm feeling this as I'm saying it, that it's easy to just assume that they're always going to be there for me. They're always going to answer my questions. And sometimes we might have to.

To step back and be like, what are they going through right now? You know, how can I maybe, you know, give and take, we're going like this. And sometimes, you know, if I'm usually the one that's like this, then maybe I need to little bit go that way to kind of offset or balance out the relationship. Because there is no 50. 50. Some days it's 60, 40 some days 70, 30. And I think that I'm sure, Amar, you help her out in other ways as well. And so it's. It could be worth just assessing. Is. Does. Does my mom have the capacity to answer all my questions right now or so, you know, because sometimes some days we have capacity and some days we don't.

The world is just giving us a little too much that day. Right. So. So it comes with the territory of those really close relationships of really kind of evaluating where they're at when you first interact with them or when they come home, versus just assuming that this is an example. Just assuming that you can dump about your day. That was a big conversation between me and my partner of just. You can't always assume that they're ready and open to hearing it. Especially when you don't know about the day that they have they.

That they had. They just went and lived their, their life in a totally different experiences with different people learning different things in a completely different way than you did. So it's a good mindful practice to. To pause and ask how your day was and see like, well, my day wasn't that great. But do you have space to be open to listening to it? Otherwise I can journal or do what I need to do, but I might need space. Cause this is heavy. Something like that is a practice that we had to start incorporating.

Asking before dumping. Right. That's a huge love. I don't want to say love bomb. That's not the word. But it is. It's like sending love to somebody so that we're not using them as our scapegoat all the time. The people that we constantly are used to. Right. Like dumping on your parents, dumping on your partner or your sibling. Right. Our siblings are always. I don't have siblings, but I know that a lot of people do, and that's what. They can talk to their siblings like that. And so I know that sometimes the boundaries get blurred because you've been listening to it your whole life, but now you're an adult, you're working on your stuff, and now things have changed.

So work with yourself and notice how you feel when somebody is telling you something or when somebody is asking for space. Space. Hopefully they're asking for space. And if not, then you can say. You can set your boundary and say, you know, next time if you ask me for space, then, you know, I'll let you know where I'm at because I truly do want to listen. I. It's just I'm not at this at a. I don't have emotional capacity today, unfortunately, you know, and I feel you. I'm just in a different headspace and mentality, things like that.

So Andy Mack says, I appreciate how you said, I'm feeling this as I'm saying it. I need to borrow that phrase and not get so embarrassed when I get emotional. No. Yeah. There's no. Yeah. That's so Minnesotan. Oh, sorry, everyone. That's. There's. Yes. Andy Mack, thank you for. For sharing that. It's ironic how as soon as we start talking and even teaching as a teacher, I do this a lot. I'll start saying something that I really needed to hear, and then I, like, feel it strike a chord. So I'm right there with you.

It's tricky and tough, but there's. Emotions are energy in motion, and if you get emotional about it, I wouldn't hide. Feel those feelings. And. And they're. They're teachers in a way. Right. So I. I've never seen you get emotional, and if you were, I would support you the whole way through. So you're, You're. You're never alone when. When you're getting emotional. But it's totally normal to feel embarrassed. It part of our human nature. But we just breathe and notice how awesome we are and move through what we're going through.

Speak. Wonder said, I'm trying to remain in a sphere of forgiveness so there are no grudges building in my relationships. Oh, that is so on point. Not embarrassed, just p*****. Any Max says, I get that. Yes. Oh, anger is a whole nother energy. Lots to learn from that. That little trigger right there. So, yeah, I want to go back to the grudges thing because that can really put a bulge in or a big separating Boulder in relationships, especially, like after Covid, I think that was happening all the time.

People were just, like, putting grudges and not talking to family members. And the. The spirit of forgiveness is such a great way to go because everybody only knows how to be themselves. Everybody only knows the experiences that they've gone through, the books they've read, the education they've had, the daily work commute that they have. It's all different than yours. And keeping that open. Forgiveness is keeping an open heart. And grudges just close us and keep us captive to a prison we created within ourselves.

And not a way that I want to live. It's an easy way to protect ourselves, and we can choose to forgive. So I love that you said that we can forgive ourselves for. For doing that. Oh, my goodness, it's another bee. So I got stung by a bee the other day. And be careful of these angry August bees because I'm not gonna do anything. It's gonna be fine. But yeah, I got stung, my partner got stung, and then my dog got stung all in one day. So please be careful. Okay, back to what I was gonna say here. So some.

Some takeaways here to savor in our relationships is honestly what I. Community and love keeps life going, keeps us happy, keeps us connected and grounded. And it's. It's worth working hard at. So pause and practice savoring more moments with your. With your people. Angry August Bia. With your people that matter to you. And that includes dogs. You know, they like to. They like to hang too. The start of Haku. Yeah. Oh, is that what it is? Okay, I'm not familiar. I'll have to look that up. Thanks for mentioning.

So we. Yeah, we can savor these moments with. With our people. And another thing that I like to do is keep little tangible keepsakes. So the postcards. I always used to send my grandma postcards cards. And then. Or I would get it like a little trinket or even just like a stone from the beach that we walked together. Or I like how I think it was Speak Wonder said, sending old photos. Like, take photos. Even if you don't like photos of yourself, you're gonna love it. Looking back when you. When you're like 70 or 80 or however long you make it, like, you're gonna look young and hot then, even though you feel like you might not.

So Japanese poetry. Okay. Thank you. So embrace some, like, keepsakes so that. Because our memories fade, but all it takes is looking at a photo and then it comes right back in and you'll remember that moment with those people and then you can start laughing. And another thing is to embrace in memories is to embrace memories with your people. Like visit, go down memory lane every once in a while and look, pull up some old photos on your phone and print the photos. Yes, that is true. Nobody is printing photos anymore so.

Or I last time I went to go print photos they're like, yeah, not many people do this but some, some. Unless you're like really creative or Etsy. A lot of Etsy creatives will do that and I know I'd like to. So that's another thing I will do. I'm going to print some photos and I'll let you know how it goes because I've been wanting to savor some moments as well. And finally, gratitude as always, say thank you to the person. Say thank you for like I texted my girlfriend right after our walk this morning and was like thanks for taking a walk with me this morning.

It was so great to see you. Here's a cute little photo of our dogs and I'm sure that she loved it. You know and those little things add up to really big memories and really big moments. And yeah, printed photo can become a greeting card. Oh yeah, for sure. Or a. Yeah, a holiday card. Any type of card. I love doing holiday cards actually that reminds me, already getting to be the season getting tough local photos. So she prefers. Yeah, I prefer printed photos. I do like the photo memories that come up on your phone every once in a while though on, on the iPhone.

I think it's fun and so sometimes I'll send a random one then when it pops up under memories. So anyways, I'm way overdue today. This is a long one. We had it. We had a good chat. But three takeaways is just to practice pausing with your people and practice being present with your people. Then another thing is to take the time to find like a little tangible trinket. Whether it be a photo, whether it be a handwritten card, whether it be a sign, some tiny little memorabilia that you can use to go back to or send to the person.

And lastly, gratitude, appreciation, love hugs and heart hug in particular. So what's interesting is east Western culture does hugs that deplete you. So that means we go in right so that it's not our heart side on the east in eastern culture they go in with their left with the heart site. So it's heart to heart hug versus the west is non heart to non harm because we have a little more intimacy issues potentially. But So I do encourage you to try a heart hug where you go in via left. It's a game changer.

Take some deep breaths and fill it up. Do that with your loved ones today. Appreciate you all coming in. Share any other little tricks that you utilize to embrace the fun moments with your people or maybe even difficult conversations. I'm, I'm all ears. I love to hear it so share in the comments or send send a message and we will we'll connect here next week same time same place. Yes hard to hug heart to heart hug. Definitely recommend it'll it'll feel so good especially when you do it with somebody that is ready to like breathe in with you.

It should be, it should be awesome. So but thank you everyone for hopping on here today. Hope you have a wonderful rest of your day and weekend. We will see you next week. Heart hugs. Heart hugs.