Parenting: When You've Lost Hope

Hey, Cadre. Family doctor Carrie here I am, purposefully filming this video, sitting on the floor with my dog in the background, because she is going to be the topic of my video today. And I just want to put a disclaimer out there that I am not a parent of children. I hope to have children someday, but this is my only parenting experience, so. Disclaimer. I'm not a parent, but I'm. I'm going to talk about parenting from the background of having a dog as my child. Okay. So not too long ago, my fiance told me, could we look into getting your dog some more training?

And I immediately took offense to it because I have trained her for years. She's five. I have taken her to multiple trainers. I've hired dog behaviorists. I have spent a lot of money on her trauma triggers, all of these things. She's a rescue. Her story is sad. You know, it's kind of like that picture of the dog you see on social media that's all mangy, like, found on the streets. That's her. That's how she was found. And so she has a really obviously traumatic past. And as somebody who has experience with trauma, I just immediately bonded with her and thought, I can fix her.

I can fix her. And unfortunately, I haven't been able to fix her. And so she has a lot of triggers. A lot. She was on Prozac because she had such severe anxiety. She would run in circles. She couldn't calm herself down, all of these things. And I. I was really defensive when he said, I think we should look into some other options. Like, we're gonna have kids. And, you know, there's just some triggers that, like, flat out drive you nuts. Like, it just. It interferes with our relationship. It just.

It. You are always stressed about your dog, and I just wonder, like, can we look into something? And I said, I've done everything. I've done everything. And I had kind of given up on my dog, guys, I'm gonna be honest. I'd kind of given up on her, which is not something that's usual for my character, but I'd kind of given up on her because I was told by numerous people that there was nothing they could do at this point. Some of the behaviors that she has are not curable. She probably needs Prozac forever.

She is just always going to have certain triggers. She's always going to have separation anxiety. It's just unfortunately not something we can cure. And I finally did swallow my pride and looked into a different training program, and I talked to this person on the phone for his program, and it was a huge investment financially. And I thought, gosh, you better have something good to say if I'm to spend this much more money on my dog. And he just said, I'm really sad that you've been told she's unfixable.

He said, because I believe everything that you've told me that you had that you struggle with is fixable. You just don't have the right tools. And I'm confident we can get your dog to a better place. And I started crying because I've never had anybody have any confidence that some of these things can be fixed. And I had given up hope. I had flat out given up hope as a dog parent that we were going to fix these issues, and I was just going to have to live with some of these triggers. So I interviewed them extensively.

I took her to this place. I said, what are you going to do differently? How are you going to fix these behaviors? And I was really apprehensive, but I went into it having as much hope as I possibly could and sent her away for three weeks to a board and train facility. And I've now had her home with me. About a week, I think. I think it's a week, a little over a week, and there isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't get teary eyed. And I'm probably gonna get teary eyed right now because I have a new dog.

I have a brand new dog right here laying by me while I'm recording a video. I used to have to put my dog in the kennel, lock the door, give her treats, because she would be barking at a leaf. She would be barking at anything that's happening outside. She would be barking at the noises in my apartment complex. She would be reactive to every single thing. The. The ice machine and my freezer would go, and she would be reactive. She'd be barking at every single thing while I'm trying to do any work, while I'm on any meetings, while I'm recording a video like this.

And I am now sitting here recording this video with my dog sleeping in the background, completely off Prozac. And she is a brand new dog. So, again, I'm not a parent. I don't have kids. But I. I get it. If you've lost some hope with maybe some of the things that your kids do, maybe they've made some choices in life, maybe they're already adults and they've made choices, and you're like, but I want to believe that that's not who you are. I want to believe that you're going to come around again. That's not how I raised you.

And if you're. If you've given up any hope, just know that it's okay. It's okay because it wears on you. And if you haven't given up hope, kudos to you. Because it took someone being able to say that to me, like, I don't think we should give up hope on her for me to go, you know what? You're right. Let's try something else. Let's try something else. Maybe I don't have the right tools to do to get her the help that she needs. And that's really what it came down to, was having the right tools and the right help and support to get my little girl what she needed.

So if you are a parent, take that message from me today. If you've reached the end of your rope, I get it. If you've lost hope, I get it. But maybe you don't have the right tools. Maybe you don't have the right support. And we've got a wealth of knowledge here at Cadre to. To help you with this. We've got people like Katie Donovan, who doesn't give up hope in any capacity when it comes to her kids, who coaches other parents through those situations. We've got other coaches on our platform that can walk you through this, that are gonna walk side by side with you and help you to not have lose hope with your kids that are experts in these areas.

So learn from my experience, don't give up hope on your kids or your pets. And just know that we have a wealth of resources here for you guys, too, if you want that support. Thank you for tuning in. God bless.