Do you have to be “fully healed” before dating? Let’s talk about dating while living with a mental health condition or going through a difficult season and how mental health can impact dating.
The coach introduces themselves and clarifies they're addressing dating alongside a range of mental health challenges, distinguishing between mental illness and general mental health and noting they'll touch on both.
The host outlines severe situations—like self-harm, suicidal thoughts, addiction, or inability to function—where dating should be put on hold and prioritized toward safety and basic needs.
Practical introspective prompts are offered to evaluate whether you can regulate yourself, use coping skills, and avoid making a partner responsible for emotional stability.
The speaker lists indicators such as emotional depletion and difficulty respecting boundaries that suggest taking a break, while emphasizing you don't need perfect mental health to date.
The host shares personal examples of taking breaks while working on mental health, spotting red flags like hyperfixation, pausing to find themselves, and how improving self-work made dating better.
As mentioned, I am a dating coach. People come to me for many different reasons. And sometimes people that I work with have some mental health challenges. And when I'm talking about dating when your mental health isn't great, I'm just talking about a variety thing, right? There's a difference between mental illness and then just general mental health. I'm going to touch on a little bit of both of them today. If you are struggling to a point where you're having a hard time getting out of bed every day, you're not able to eat in a healthy manner, you are really maybe you're self-harming, suicidal in the midst of addiction, those are to me are things that you have to deal with first.
I do think dating should be on pause if your safety or basic functioning It's okay to want reassurance. It's not okay to make another person responsible for keeping you emotionally stable. So that's kind of a good question when you think about, gosh, where's my mental health? Like, am I in a good place to be dating right now? Right? It's like, hey, can I regulate myself? Like if these thoughts come up, not that they won't come up, can I use my skills? Can I use my tools to deal with them? Right?
When we're struggling with mental health, You're emotionally depleted that dating feels like another job, or you're not able to respect someone else's boundaries because of your own fear. It's okay to say, I'm going to take a break and focus on myself for a little bit. Now again, you don't have to be fully healed before going on a date. You don't have to have perfect mental health. You don't have to have zero insecurity or anxiety. good. I have done the work. It feels good. Did I pause dating? No, I worked on it along the way.
I took breaks when I needed to, right? When I was all consumed or ruminating or like hyper fixated on a certain person, that was like a red flag to me about me. I was like girlfriend, I had a look in the mirror. Girlfriend, you got to take a pause with dating and find yourself, right? And when I really worked on myself, dating was just a lot better. It's a lot better. And
