Luke introduces himself, greets the audience, and expresses gratitude for the community and the chance to connect. This sets a positive tone and frames the session as a weekly ritual.
Luke introduces himself, greets the audience, and expresses gratitude for the community and the chance to connect. This sets a positive tone and frames the session as a weekly ritual.
He recounts a nighttime walk where his wife asks what one thing they need to get really real about, then explains her struggle with social anxiety and how anticipation differs from being present. The story models honest self-reflection and sets up his own confession.
Luke admits he responds to conflict with frustration and defensiveness and describes a plan to pause, acknowledge he's not ready, and return calmer. He frames this as aiming to respond at a low intensity rather than reacting aggressively.
He lays out the SAR mentality (situation, self-awareness, action, resolution) as a tool for change and illustrates it with his long battle with anxiety that he turned into preparation and excitement. He commits to turning conflict into a strength and encourages viewers to convert struggles into superpowers.
He closes with practical tips like taking time out, returning at a calm level, and asking why questions, then shares excitement about an upcoming large presentation and signs off with encouragement and gratitude.
Good morning. Happy Monday to you and yours. My name is Luke Wentland. It's always an honor and a privilege to be here every single Monday. I love showing up for this community. I love you all. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to be here with you. I got my cadre swag on. Let's go. It's going to be a great day. I can feel it. I feel it's going to be a really, really good day. I hope it is for you too. Like I said, thanks for joining in. If you're watching this live or you're watching it on Replay, Like I said, I live for this moment.
I live for being here with you all. Thanks again for your time. My wife and I went for a walk last night and she always has a way to bring out a curious side for me. Always. And so, you know, we were going on a walk and it was last night, it was late and we always like to try to connect one way or another throughout the course of the day. And when we were walking, she said to me, she said, What is one thing that you need to get really, really real with yourself about? I was like, my gosh, like, what a great question.
And so I was, it's a, oh, it's speak wonders, it's a good day whenever I see your face. I feel the same way about you. You're the best. You're always the best. Erie, Pennsylvania, shout out. And my wife, and I said, you know, can you just give me a minute to think on this? And I said, what about you? And she said that, she goes, you know, I'll give you an example. I have really, really bad social anxiety. This is what she was saying. I have really, really bad social anxiety. And quite frankly, my social anxiety is so bad that it kind of ruins joy out of going and doing things until we actually go and do them.
And I said, can you give me just a little bit more? She's like, you know, for example, we went up to this cabin a weekend ago or whatever it was, two weekends ago. And she said to me, she said, like, I knew how much, like I was gonna have fun there, I was gonna enjoy it all of it, but like leading up to it, almost a week, she's like, I have really bad social anxiety until I'm there. So it's like leading up to it is tough, getting there is tough, driving up there is tough, thinking about the conversations and all the things you have to do and what you need to participate in with your conversations, you name it.
And then when I'm there, I'm good. And then when I'm gone, I miss it. And I'm like, so how do you think you can work on that? And then she explained, some things that she believes she can do to get herself through it and all the things. But I'm saying all this. And like when she, when she kind of like brought that forward and then she said, and she said, so what about you? And I said, my gosh, I just want to tell you like such a great question. And number, and there's so many things that I really need to get real with myself about, how I need to continue to progress in this life.
And I said, and one of those that I need to be able to do a much, much better job of is managing conflict. That really getting really, really, really real with myself on. I feel that one of my very first responses and actions in conflict is as high level of frustration and defensiveness. I get super defensive right away. It's not that I'm lying. It's not that I'm A narcissist. It's not that I'm A sociopath. It's none of those things. Like I immediately get defensive. And it's almost like, are you questioning me?
You know, type of thing. And so it's like, how do I do that better? And so, you know, in conflict. So one of the things that I'm going to really, really work on is if I'm feeling heightened at all, in a level of conflict that I'm just going to immediately like pause and say, I'm not ready to address this yet. Like I think I'm just going to say like, I'm here, I hear you, but I'm not quite ready to go into this conversation yet. Because I feel like sometimes like I could be bringing like a I speak wonder says, I get defensive too.
I feel you. And so it's just one of those things where it's like, how can I do conflict better where either in my personal relationships, my professional relationships, my new relationships, that, you know, it's not like about puffing your chest and showing them, but it's rather like taking it in, slowing down and addressing conflict from like a two. on a one to 10 scale, like one is being like laissez-faire and 10 is being overly aggressive. Like how can I address it as a two usually instead of a 6, 7, 8, 9.
So that's just one thing I really want to get real with myself and work on. So the big thing is this. Why I bring this all forward. Number one, do you have the self-awareness to even have this conversation? Like do you have the self-awareness to yourself to say, what's one thing I need to get real with myself about? Like do you have that capacity? Like do you have self-awareness? That's #1. Number 2, do you have the ability to acknowledge it? Do you have the self-awareness to know? Do you have the ability to acknowledge it?
And last but not least, do you have a resolution or an action that you're willing to take? What is a resolution? What is an action here I can take? And the greatest part about this is in a SAR mentality, situation, action, resolution, right? Situation, self-awareness in the situation, action that you'd like to take and what is the resolution, right? So like in a SAR mentality, what you're gonna find is you have these unbelievable moments of growth. Because you're like challenging yourself to say, this is a problem.
This is something that I need to work on. This is something that is lingering. This is something that's causing me strife. This is something that has hurt relationships in the past. So if you know this, if you know these things and you have the ability to be able to drive change, now you can like effectively manage what could have been in your own brain, something you really need to get real and work on to like something that could be a superpower for you. I'll use this before. Anxiety was my ultimate killer.
Anxiety was my ultimate killer. I struggled with anxiety for 15 years at an epic level, epic level. And now I would say like anxiety for the most part, for the most part, 90, 10 is my absolute superpower. I am super anxious before I go down to Indianapolis and give this big speech on Wednesday. I'm super anxious about it, right? But what I do is I work, not saying around the clock, but I work a lot to get myself prepared to deliver like this insane presentation. I'm so overly prepared. I'm feeling great about it.
I can't wait to rock this thing. Doesn't mean I'm not anxious. Doesn't mean the anxiety's not there, but what it turns to is excited. My anxiety bone has like bridged the gap to excitement. And I'm proud of that, but it's taken a long time. So what thing, what thing in yourself is something that has been a struggle bus or a habitual issue that you're gonna say, I'm gonna turn this into a positive. So what I made the commitment on is this, I'm going to turn conflict into a power bone of mine, that I can handle conflict really, really well.
So how about that? All right, you all take care. Have a wonderful week. Speak wonder. I love it. I like that strategy. Take time out and come back. Mindfulness. And not only mindfulness, I want to come back in a state of one or two. I'm not going to be defensive. I'm not going to be anything. I might even ask some why questions back. How do you like that? So all right, you take care, everybody. Thanks for joining in. Send in love from Minnesota. I will be in Indianapolis speaking this week. I can't wait.
It's a large presentation for me, probably the largest presentation I've had. So I'm super, super excited about it, almost like a TED Talk-esque vibe. for my life and some of the tactics and tricks I use to continue to go about my ways. So I'm really pumped about it all. right, you all take care. Thank you so much for joining. Send in love. Bye bye now.
