His name is Asaph. What cemented his identity was the fitness community. He learned how to be vulnerable in front of strangers and talk about it. All coming together, helping each other heal and do this life thing together. It's a new week.
Rolando: Today I'm listening to Atmosphere, a local rapper. His song sunshine is a good day setter for me. I got a new member of the family here. His name is Asaph. Last week was my 35th birthday, so I took some me time.
Turning pain into purpose and using it to strengthen the communities that we're in. What cemented his identity was the fitness community. He learned how to be vulnerable in front of strangers and talk about it.
When we pay it forward, there's a lot of people in our lives that have helped us through things. For me, that's community at its finest. All coming together, helping each other heal and do this life thing together.
If any of you guys are in the Stone arch area in Minneapolis around 5 o' clock, I'll be walking my dog. So if you see me out there, say hi. It's a new week. Let's get after it.
Hello, Hello. Cadre fam. Good morning, good morning. Got the coffee going today. That is a must for me. Huge coffee guy. I don't know about you guys. Give it a couple seconds for people to roll on in here. It's Monday. It's a new day. It's a new week. A little less sunshine, but it's all right. It's all right. Emily. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Today I'm listening to Atmosphere, a local rapper. His song sunshine is a good day setter for me. It really sets the mood of the day. We're getting a little less sunshine throughout the day, but I wake up with a sunshine attitude, I guess you could say.
I have a whole playlist for it. This is one of the ones that are on there for sure. Shannon, welcome. Speak wonder. Last week was my birthday. I didn't make it, but I have a new introduction I want to see. Make me introduce you guys to. Come here. I got a new member of the family here. Come here, come. I don't know if you guys are dog people, but I got a new member to the family. His name is Asaph. He's a five month old pain in the a**. But I love him and we're working through it. A lot of learning to do.
He gets treats because that's the only way he listens to me. Here you go. Anyways, for all you dog people out there, good morning. Good morning. For those of you guys that haven't met me, I'm Rolando. I go by Row. Last week was my 35th birthday, so I took some me time. What's interesting about that little micro note is I caught myself explaining to people or apologizing for taking time off on my birthday to do absolutely nothing. And I told myself I wasn't gonna do that no more, that I'm not gonna apologize because I have my first habit, one of my habits of when I take time for myself or anything.
I don't know if it's a Midwest, Minnesota thing, but I'm always say, I always say, oh, I'm sorry or my bad or this. I'm like, you know what? I took me time period. Like that's a good thing. And I'm trying to get used to that. Also not to say oops or squeezing away. Squeeze. Let me squeeze right past you in the line at the grocery store as well too. Anyways, little note quickly turning pain into. I think we're back online. It gave me a notice saying it was off. Technology fights back sometimes. If you guys are back with me, love that.
Appreciate your Patience. But where was I? Community. Yeah, I like talking about community, specifically pain. Turning pain into purpose and using it to strengthen the communities that we're in. A lot of us are involved in many different communities, making them a collective of our own. Right. For me, I came out of a pretty rough childhood, upbringing, all these things. And someone said to me, my father figure now when I graduated through, I went through a treatment program, long term, faith based, kind of a whole life reset from friends, family, even music.
I listened to the whole literally life reset right, right after Covid. So it was like a double, triple reset actually. And I was nervous about what my life was going to look like. And my father figure told me, he was like, your life right now is a blank canvas. You can paint what you want. And that always stuck with me because I always looked at starting over as like, oh, I'm at the bottom, I don't know what life's going to be, life's over, I'm screwed, all this crap. But like, those words always stuck with me.
He's like, life is your blank canvas. Paint what you want. And I had a hard reset and now I had all these newfound tools. I was like, you know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do. So I chose to sit down and identify the different areas of life that I wanted to be my foundation or my pillars. And for me that was faith fitness, the professional, social and then personal communities as well that I had to go out and either build or rebuild. The personal one was, you know, family, friends, my close circle.
But for me, it started with the, the faith circle a little bit, church settings and whatnot. But what really cemented my identity, a portion of my identity, was the fitness community. I found my, my passion, I found my coping skills, my coping mechanisms. I found how to be vulnerable in front of strangers and, and talk about it and just lean into that aspect of getting to know different people in different settings. For me, one of the big components there was a gym called F45 Shameless Plug. I glad I guess where I'm a part, I coach for fun.
That was a really good, you know, landing place for me when I started my life over because I was around a bunch of people who didn't experience addiction. A lot of them didn't work in the field and they were just, you know, normal people, what I consider normal. But like, let's be honest, like, who's normal these days? Everybody's weird. Stay weird. I like being weird and maybe that's why I like going to Portland. So Much, I don't know, it's a whole thing out there. But different people that were different from this communities I came up in with, right?
And I got to know them on a different level. I got to be vulnerable in the gym. I got to, you know, show off my strength, but also get humbled. I am, you know, I stepped into that gym first at 29, 30 years old, fit, you know, super fit, engaging, got endurance, strength, all this. But then I would get humbled by like this 65 year old lady that is telling me that she had like a knee replacement. I'm like, oh, all right. This is humbling because she's outdoing me. But anyways, I got a chance to learn how to be vulnerable.
Even though I went through all these tough trials and tribulations back in my old days, I got to learn how to be vulnerable in front of strangers and people that haven't experienced what I did. And it did something. And I built a lot of strong community ties there, right? So I went to these different communities, the fitness, the fitness space, faith, personal, social and professional. And I identified people that I wanted to be like, right? Or parts of them. You know, I'd see the, the way they talk, the way they speak, the way they engage, the, you know, the fruits of what, how they live their lives, their discipline, right?
And I'd go, I'd approach people and I would say, like, hey, like, you know, I'm at this point in my life, I'm kind of starting over. And you know, this might sound weird, but I like what you're about. And I, you know, I just like to get to know you, pick your brain, buy you a coffee, go hit a gym session, whatever it is. And I had to build those relationships. And don't get me wrong, like, first it was very weird. It was, it was awkward. I would say it awkward because as an adult trying to learn to make new friends, it could be easy.
I mean, it could be challenging. For me, it was really challenging because I had all these things going on in my head, you know, of being embarrassed and shame and guilt. And I'm like, you know what, let's just lean into it. Let's double down. And it became one of my strong suits. Now I can walk into a grocery store and leave with like four friends. And it just naturally now, which is interesting, but like, so I went to these different communities and identify people that I saw trace in them that, that I liked and wanted to, you know, learn, right?
And I built relationships and I thought it was gonna Be me just learning from them. And it did a flip where people were learning from me as well, too. For example, when a couple weeks ago, I got to do a workshop for F45, they have this challenge that they do, and they wanted to really focus on the power of community and the power. The wellness outside of the gym, right? And they approached me was like, hey, we know. We know what you're about, what you've brought to the community, who. Who you are.
And they're like, you want to come run workshops? So I did, and my workshop was on turning pain to purpose, Right? The power of community, specifically. And what was interesting is a lot of people in this gym setting got a chance to see me outside of the gym lens. Because if you ever see me in the gym anywhere, like, I'm dancing. I'm a goofball. I like to have fun. But if you approach me and like, hey, I'm dealing with this, you know, this sad or just depression or this life hurt, it's like, oh, I get.
It's like I go into doctor mode. It's like, all right, pull up the couch. I got the notepad. Let's go to town. Let's figure this out. We're gonna walk through this, right? But that's just a part of who I am. But, like, in the gym, they got to see all. Only the fun side, for the most part, the fun coach side. But when I ran this workshop, I. They got all of me in a different version of me, right. At the same time. And it was really interesting because I walked them through experiences that they've been through that they might have not ever talked about in front of people or even at all.
I created safe space for them by being vulnerable first. Because as you. As a lot of us know, vulnerability breeds vulnerability, right? And I threw myself out there, was vulnerable, talked about my story, my struggles, what it took. And then I asked them questions like, what's one thing that you've been through that you don't really talk to people about that you just never had a chance to. And I had them share, like, on a personal level with another individual. And then afterwards, I walked them through an exercise of, you know, I had them like, hey, close your eyes.
Let's think about. About one situation that was hard, that we didn't know we were going to make it through, you know, And I kind of put them in that emotional space, that mental space, and I was like, who's the one person or two that showed up, held your hand, and walked you through that? And you know, that you might not have made it through that situation without that person. Right. And I had them think of that person. I was, all, right, open your eyes. I'd like you to text that person and just tell them thank you and that you appreciate them or tell them something about how they made you feel in those moments and what it meant to you.
Right? And it was super, you know, intimate and personal, but at the same time, for me, that's. It unlocked a new level of community. Right. For me, I got to bring in my experiences, my serious, or. I wouldn't say clinical, because I'm not like a clinician, but my experiences in, you know, adverse situations and experience in life brought it into a space where people's experiences are a lot different. But at the end of the day, we're all human and we all bleed and hurt the same. We all cry the same.
I don't know, I might ugly cry sometimes. I won't tell anybody else that. But. But I got to use my experiences to help someone else and help them with their healing journey. And they reached out to somebody else and showed that they appreciated them for what they did with their journey. And for me, that's community at its finest. Like, if I could put community in a nutshell, that's what it is. All coming together, helping each other heal and do this life thing together. Because I say this all the time.
It's kind of cliche, but, like, we're stronger together, we're better together. There's a lot of spins on it. So gratitude ties into all that. Well, so when we pay it forward, there's a lot of people in our lives that have helped us through things, even when they were struggling themselves and it was hard for them to show up, but they did. So I try to make it a point to reach out to individuals, even just the most random time, even if it's just a short, hey, just want you to know I appreciate you.
And people be like, for what? And sometimes I don't tell them. Sometimes I'm just like, just for being you. For showing up. Or sometimes I'll get specific, but for this. That one time when you walked me through X, Y, and Z, I didn't think I was gonna make it. But because of your presence and you being who you are, I'm here today and I'm stronger because. Right. And people like that. Because people like. I'm not saying that people look for it, but sometimes we plant a lot of seeds in the community, in other people's lives, and we're not around to see if they are fruitful, if they, you know, if they develop into something el else or more.
So when someone circles back and say, hey, that thing you did that day, you showed up and took me to coffee at noon on a workday, even though you had a meeting to be at, I really appreciate that. Right. People like hearing that type of stuff. So my challenge to you today is to identify someone in your life that has helped you through a tough time and reach out to them, say thank you, say you appreciate them, or just give them a compliment or let them know. People like to know when they're being thought about, especially when they've helped you through something.
It's always good. And that strengthens community. And that's my dog chewing up my carpet. Five months old. He's just a toddler. I got envisioning Pampers. But anyways. Yeah. So today, community. Put some action to the word community. Reach out to your people. I challenge you. Someone that's helped you through some things and tell them you appreciate them. It'll make them feel good and it'll probably do a lot for you. You might not realize how much you've healed from a situation until you told the person to help you through one, how much you appreciate them.
So I challenge you. Reach out to someone. Tell them you appreciate them. That's all I got for today. I'm gonna finish this copy and I'm not gonna freak out on this dog because he's just a toddler. Even though this is a new carpet, we're doing the thing. Thank you guys for showing up and spending this time with me. I really app looking forward to next week. So I challenge you again. Reach out to someone that has helped you through a tough talent, a tough time and let them know you appreciate them.
It could be small, just a short. I appreciate you. Thank you for what you did. You mean this to me. Next to me, you fill in the blanks. But I challenge you. It'll do as much for you as it will for them. So that's what I got for you today, and I hope you guys have a good Monday. It's Monday. It's a new week. Let's get after it. We got a little bit of sunshine. Let's take advantage of it. So if any of you guys are in the Stone arch area in Minneapolis around 5 o', clock, I'll be walking my dog. So if you see me out there, say hi.
Peace out, y'. All.
