Are We In A Yes Season?

Oh, my God. I'm so excited to talk to you guys. I'm so excited to talk to you guys. Okay. So much has happened. I feel like in a week, my brain is braining. I have notes because I have this thing. I finally am excited to tell you guys that I do. I think it's weird, but I don't know. The more I'm like, maybe this will help one person or maybe it's just fun when I verbalize it. I don't know. I don't even know who Cadre is here for. Is it me? Is this is an elaborate ruse so I can talk about how I deal with mental health?

I really, really, really, really, really am so excited. Oh, Speak Wonder. We met last night. She's a radio girly like me. My name is Brittany, Brittany Hagan. I am an army veteran. I am sober for 15 years. I also am a single mom, a divorcee. Divorcee. I don't know which one sounds more fabulous. Either way, I'm one of those. And I want to tell you about a weird thing I do in October and November. So I'm not a cold weather girly. I actually get terrified when cold weather starts coming in, which is hilarious because I live here in Minnesota.

You can see my hair is a little wet because I was just throwing the ball for the dogs. Like, I forced myself to go out and be adventurous even when it's cold. There's something I do in October and there's something I do in November, and I think it's helpful. Now you tell me. October is my yes month. I say yes to things that I might normally overthink and talk myself out of and explain to death. November is my no month. And it's not like correlating. So it's not like things I would normally say, you know, I was saying yes to, I say no to.

But then I have a lot of rules about my November month. This is like my little reset to get into winter and feel good, control and also, like, I don't know, I can't describe it, but there's something. And the key is too, you have to find somebody to partner up with. Especially in the no month and the yes month, too. Oh, my. Kidding. Do both. So, for example, last night. Oh, my gosh, Kathy's from Speak. Wonder was there as well. We had this like, Q and A thing, and it was for Cadre. And I was like, all right, let's do it.

Normally I'm somebody who's like, I don't know, probably not my thing. I'M not exactly like sometimes on these, this app which is beautiful. And I know that this applies to like almost everybody is like, you kind of feel like you're not like everybody else in those moments especially that really hold true when everyone was telling me about the books they're writing and I was like, what? No, I have no time for book now. Nope. I am not in my book writing era. But I still like going and meeting everybody and I learned so much for them because we are so different.

So many different people, but so many different things and expertise. I mean speak wonder. Talking about, you know, caregiving and things like that was just so magical too. So I said yes to that. I went to that and I was like, I don't know what's going on. But then something happened. I was like, oh, you know what I can do? I can ask questions and feel like, you know, my favorite thing in the world, which is hosting a show and act like it's just a radio show. And I was like, that's a skill set I have.

And if I wouldn't have done that, I think I would have constantly had this feel of like, I'm not meant for this coaching world, but I am. I'm just different. And like that was because I said yes to that. It felt like, I don't know, like it tickled my, like, oh yeah. Like there are things I can bring to a table full of insanely qualified professionals. What else did I say? Yes. Oh my God. My friend Khadijah is doing a TV show. Well, she's trying to do a TV show and she's asked me to be a guest. No questions.

Yes, doing it tomorrow. All they asked her is what should I wear? Because she knows I love clothes and I'm excited. It's also like, why not? I'm finding myself in so many whirly twirly little adventures and for me that's fun. I don't know if you have any other single parents out there, but one of the things that you experience with being a single parent is all of a sudden more time. I go from being the busiest person in the world to the not so busiest person in the world because I'll have a full weekend without my go go without my little three year old.

And I've been trying to figure out who is Britney without her kid. And it's. I know a lot of people can relate to that. Not only without your kid, but without a partner. And in October, she's a girly that says yes, she's a girly. That says yes. I went on a date with this pilot guy. I mean, I wouldn't recommend that. I mean, he was fine. Just. That was a bad yes. But it was funny. I ended up having a funny conversation. He was driving a tractor while he was talking to me. That was on FaceTime. I.

I feel like then on the flip side of it, there's the. We got to talk about November. And, like, November is one of those funny things, because I use it as a little bit of a reset going into the new year, because you're about to do a lot of things come December and January. And it's not like you're saying no to events, but you're saying, me and my sister's parameters are saying, no. We don't buy anything extra. Which, if you know me, that's nearly impossible. And I have to, like, literally text her and go, I really wanted to buy this workout set.

It was half off, but I didn't. And. And then. What's our other nose? We have a bunch of different rules around our nose. Oh, this year, I might do no men. I don't know. I'm still thinking about it. And it's not like I hang out with guys that much, but I do use them as a crutch of, like, sometimes social outings, sometimes social ins. That sounds disgusting. Okay. But I do think we lead into this month the power of yes. There's a lot of, like, time we sit, we get offered something where we have all these questions, and I get it.

Like, and there are brains that go, I need to know all these answers. I totally get it. But there's something in the power. I'm not asking a lot and saying yes to people. Because you have faith in yourself. Think about that for a second that you're gonna be able to handle it. I know. Like, I have this weird little obsession where I'll look outside and not look at my weather app and then go either for a walk or run and throw the ball for the dogs. And I go, I'll be fine no matter what. It's not that far away.

Like, if it rains, which it kind of did today. Having faith in yourself to handle what's going to be thrown at you, and also putting yourself in situations where it's like, okay, what's the worst that's going to happen? I hang out on a live stream with Speak Wonder, and I have nothing to say, and I end up, you know, making a little bit of a fool of myself. Okay, okay. Like, I was an alcoholic. Like, I drove drunk I'm almost like killed myself and others. I'm pretty sure being embarrassed in public speaking is not going to take this girl down.

I have so many things where I go, we have so many moments that are controlled or that we like to. That we pretend are controlled, right? That we go into. We go, well, because good thing I know everything. But there is some power in not knowing what you're going into because you'll find yourself reaching for skill sets not only you didn't have that maybe you haven't used or that like you didn't know were useful. And again, I keep going back to the live stream yesterday when we did a Q and A where I was like, everybody here is like 45 degrees and they're all so established.

What could I bring to the table? And then you find yourself bringing something or you sit back and listen or like. And that's another powerful thing I keep learning about saying yes to things is like, sometimes I show up somewhere and I go, my job is spectator. My job is to hang out. My job is to like, look around and go, what? What's going on here? And learn, you know, I don't always have to be somebody. My ego isn't so big where I go, okay, it's my job to entertain everybody. You know, like, JC will be like, go to this play, Go to this amazing stages play.

And my job there, this is a perfect example because I'd be saying if I showed up to a play that I didn't know the plot about and I was like, okay, I better entertain everybody. No, my job is pure spectator. And you can apply that to so many times to a party, an event, a thing you're at is you sit back and be a good listener. Again, I can't stress enough that there's something so beautiful in the moment where you go into it not knowing what's going to happen. And there's so much magic there. And of course, like, be safe about it.

Like, I don't want you going, oh, yes, yes, yes. You know, but I think there is so much. There's sometimes in our day to day, there isn't a lot of magic, right? Or we're not looking for the magic. Sometimes you're wake up, make your coffee, eat your breakfast, go to work. And then sometimes you say yes to something and you don't know what you're getting into. And like the build up for that can be anxiety or it can be excitement or a little of both. We know two things can be true that holds true.

That's A very constant theme in my life is two things can be true, but there is some magic in it. And again, like, it's also a reassurance in yourself that you can handle it. Whatever you're going to, whatever thing I promise is you'll be surprised at yourself and your abilities. So I highly recommend October we say yes. We say yes to things maybe we wouldn't or would overthink or ask questions about. And then November, we say no again. Can answer is enough. It has nothing to do with the things that we said yes to.

But November is a time where we use discipline and self control. Two things I do not excel at. I mean, it's funny because, like, I do in some ways. I've been sober for 15 years. I have like really great, like work ethic and workout ethic. But then there's some things. There's some things just like the gotta give somewhere I am working on, like finances. Last night we hung out with Alex Little. I mean, not little. He just was looking short because of his camera. He's a genius. He seems like a genius.

And he was like, here's how you can save money. And I could just feel my anxiety going up. And I was like, note to self. In November we might read. There's a book he said, good dad, rich dad, poor dad that I might have to read. Because when you can tap into something that's bugging you, I'm like, that might be a good read for no. Which is a time where I say no to excess finances. Maybe hanging out with guys. I'm still thinking on that one. Haven't solidified my November rules. What's the other things we do?

Oh, yeah, no drinking. Which is funny because me and my sister do no drinking. She's like, has a typical brain with drinking where she drinks like once a week. Maybe. I'm an alcoholic. So like, I'm always like, I and I'm going to quit drinking. And she's like, that doesn't count because you've been sober for so long. But it counts. It counts. Guys, I think there's a lot of fun in teaming up with somebody. When you do these fun challenges, you have a lot of conversations and you tap into things and you realize aspects of your life and aspects of yourself that you could be proud of or not proud of and talk with someone about.

I think it's really magical. Which again, I can't stress enough. A lot of times we go out throughout our days without magic. And then the other really powerful thing about a yes month is you find out things you love. You also find out things you hate, which is just as useful. I mean, they say this all the time. Learning you hate something is super valuable because if I sat and thought, hmm, I should ice skate, you know, I might be a really good ice skater. And I spend hours and days of my life daydreaming about my abilities to ice skate.

I'm tall, I wear like wearing sparkles. And then one day I finally ice skate and realize I hate it. You know how much time I saved learning that, like, I don't like ice skating. I know. And of course then you find things you love, which seems really obvious. I really want to know if people have any interest and maybe we'll like, I don't know, maybe. Maybe we'll make a bunch of rules around November. I know we're deep into October. We're in the ides of October. So I know that like that's probably.

But like, maybe in the next two weeks. Say yes to things. Do it. It's super fun. You'll. I want to know. I want to know this. If you said yes to something and message me or throw me a post or whatever, all the things I want to know. If you said yes to something and what happened? How did you feel? How did it taste? How did it look? How did it see? Just even if you want to do it, even objectively, like I went there and the room was dark. Okay, that sounds creepy. Maybe don't say yes to that. But maybe I don't know.

So those are my little say yes, say no. October. November. I do feel like we're going to have to talk more about November once I set my rules and we can decide if you want to set some rules rules too. It literally can be anything. It literally can be anything. Maybe you'll go, I am not going to eat butter. I don't even know why that's. I. Mostly because I just ate some toast or I am not going to f. I'm not going to make my bed. I'm really diligent about making my bed and I really want to not make my bed.

Oh, speak. Wonder says she wants to make a list for November. Okay, cool. At least all I need is one other person on this train and. And then we can say the train is full. No. Just kidding. Come on in. Come on in, everybody. We're gonna all make lists for November's. And by all, I mean it could be just me and Speak Wonder and we're totally fine with that. I hope you guys have a great weekend or all weekend or. Yeah, I hope. Say yes to something. And if you do, make sure you drop me a line about how it went.

And then start thinking about your November. It's fun. I know it sounds restrictive. Well, it literally is. But it's fun. Especially, like, if you're like me and you have a hardcore hard time with saving and not spending money. It's really fun because it feels formal. And then by the time December comes, it's time to shop for people and you have extra money and it feels really good. Like, and it's not. Then you're not buying stuff for yourself when you get done. I mean, I buy a little after I'm done.

I usually give myself a present. Don't tell Alex. Okay? It was super fun hanging out with you. Bye. Speak Wonder. Bye, everybody. Check you later. This is always that nice little ending. Should do a little. 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1.